The Sexist

Make Your Own Date Rape Jam For Only $2.99

[youtube:v=btN5yuVcRes]

Have you always wanted to blame your casual sexual encounters on the Goose, but the words just never came out right? Put another way: Do you have a bunch of date-rapey sentiments to unload upon the general public, but don't want to have to use your recognizable, human voice? The "I Am T-Pain" iPhone application is here to help.

According to Pitchfork's review of T-Pain's new democratization of the Auto-Tune, the function "can make anyone's voice sound like that of a sex-addicted robot. I just tried it; it works." T-Pain has plenty of sketchy drunk sex jams to choose from, but the sketchiest is his lasting contribution to Jamie Foxx's Blame It (On the Alcohol). Give your $2.99 to T-Pain, and let's review:

Girl I know you feel good, just like you look
Couple more shots you open up like a book
I ain´t trippin (cause ima read ya)
Shawty I ain´t trippin  (I jus wanna please ya)
I'mma take a shot of Nuvo, shawty then you know
What's goin' down we can go and kick it like judo.

Ya know what I mean:
Shawty got drunk and thought it all was a dream,
So I made her say I, I, I, I!

Now she got her hand on my leg
And got my seats all wet in my ride (all wet in my ride)
All over my ride (all over my ride),
She look me dead in the eye (eye, eye, eye)
Then my pants got bigga and she already knew what to figga
Had her looking at her boyfriend like, fuck that nigga!

That's right, ladies: When T-Pain opens you up like a book in his ride, but you are so drunk you think you are sleeping, don't worry! You are allowed to wake up the next morning and blame it on the Goose (alternately, you may blame it on the 'Tron). What are we not to blame it on? You guessed it: T-Pain.

Comments are closed.

Comments Shown. Turn Comments Off.
...