Dating Advice for the Recently Incarcerated
A recent query on the anonymous relationship advice messageboard on LipstickAlley:
How soon after Man is released from Prison do you date him?
Let's say you meet a man tall, attractive, no kids, and then he drops the bomb I have been in jail for the last ten years and just got out 8 months ago. What do you do? Would you immediately stop talking? Would you be curious about if he had sex with another man? Is him being released so recently an issue?
Would anyone date a man just freed from prison?
But after receiving a few dozen variations on "never"—such as "Only if the Father, Son, Holy Spirit and a host of angelic beings repeatedly told me to do so in a 3 dimensional vision on a Bose sound system"—the questioner assumes a new problem. It isn't the possibly-violent-criminal thing or the curiosity-over-the-gay-sex-thing—it's the "chemistry" thing:
I actually was going to tell him to stop calling me because even though he's a nice guy and he seems to like me a lot, I don't feel the chemistry. Then before i even said that he told me about he just got out. He just told me and I didn't say anything, he just kept talking. When I met him, I just thought, wow, a nice, older, quiet man with no kids? (i'm in my 20s, he's in his 30s)
now if i tell him to stop calling, he will think it's because he just told me that he got out of prison.
While LipstickAlley was quick with a response to the "Should I date a former inmate?" query (answer: hell to the no), the more difficult question—"How do I stop dating a former inmate?"—was met with silence. I don't know—perhaps this group of anonymous Internet commenters has more experience letting reformed criminals down easy?
Photo by decade_null