The Sexist

Sexist Comments of the Week: Goat Cheese Alpha Edition

This week on the Sexist, a post about pick-up artistry revealed what women really want: a man who "knows how to refuse to compromise on goat cheese." Or do they really just want some sausage? (Personally, I prefer pineapple). The pizza-as-indicator-of-manliness debate gets heated in the comments:

From Plethora of Pinatas:

You don’t like goat cheese on your pizza at Two Amys? While a beta would keep quiet and acquiese in order to appease his date, an alpha would refuse to order it. The difference between an alpha and a weirdo is that the alpha knows how to refuse to compromise on goat cheese and make her laugh about it at the same time.

From jules:

Right. Order whatever you fucking want on your pizza. But be fucking nice to me. I never said I wanted a fucking doormat.

From Plethora of Pinatas:

Haha, thanks for being so honest Jules! Now I won’t have to waste any money or time with you over dinner just to find out you’re a frigid bitch in bed.

From Darrow Montgomery:

Everyone should order their own pizza at 2Amy’s and some starters, which may be shared.

From jules:

right. missionary only. I hope you come quickly because I’ve never had an orgasm in my life and I don’t want to waste much time. Thnx.

From Plethora of Pinatas:

See Jules, you made my point. You don’t want a nice guy, you want someone who will tell you like it is. I insult you and you tell me to make it quick. Can I still try for your first orgasm though?

From Mrs. D:

If a guy ever flat-out refused to take a suggestion of mine without even a discussion of compromise (referring to the goat cheese incident), I would drop him like a bad habit. Just to pose a hypothetical: what if she suggested goat cheese, and you vetoed that, but then you suggested sausage, and she said she didn’t like sausage? I’m willing to bet you would ignore that, as well, and get the sausage anyway (probably promising her that she’ll like it, like a mom does to her 6-year-old). Life is about compromise, not being a selfish prick. And that’s what you self-proclaimed “pick-up artists” are, selfish pricks.

Photo by foodistablog


  1. #1

    I just laughed so hard reading this I spit out the water I was drinking and drew attention from my coworkers. Thanks Amanda.

  2. #2

    Agreed. We do sound silly (but still not as silly as POP).

  3. #3

    A few thoughts on the whole "I am alpha hear me roar" crap. (Hyperbole added for effect). Specifically for PoP

    1 - if you're really a man, you would be willing to eat anything. Fussy eating is for women and children. Real men order whatever she wants and eat more than half of it.

    2 - If you're really an "alpha male" then you are taking this woman out on a date, which is essentially supposed to be for her entertainment. What you want during the date is irrelevant, you should only be interested in ensuring that she is interested in having sex with you afterwards. If you're more worried about not eating feta cheese than you are with whether or not you're going to have sex later, then you make a piss poor man.

    3 - Getting walked all over and treating a girl to an enjoyable time are two different things. If you cannot differentiate between the two, then perhaps that is why you seem to need some sort of "how to get laid" guide book. The unfortunate part is that these books seem to tell guys (who already can't tell the difference between the two concepts) not to get walked all over. So, the readers of these books are apparently interpreting this as "don't show a girl a good time".

  4. #4

    I'm glad I found a man who likes goat cheese!

  5. #5

    Victor...more like goat cheese on half and sausage on the other (or your side of the electric blanket at 8 and mine at 2, or hockey on Monday and baseball on Thursday). But these boys seem to think that they are entitled to have EVERYTHING their way, all the time, from the remote to the women sleeping with them. And it’s completely obvious from POP’s post that he (and the rest of the “community”) believes any woman with any opinion or preference over ANYTHING from pizza to men is “stepping out of her place.” It’s old-school sexism at its worst. Women should just follow men (any men who will have them) around like lost puppy dogs. No agency over their own lives, down to the most minute details.

  6. #6

    But... in all of this debate... have we forgotten the very undeniable fact that pizza toppings can be split? :x Dude, just get your half with "manly" sausage and let her have her half with feta cheese. Seriously, Last pizza I got we split olives/ extra cheese since my bf doesn't dig the olives on pizza. No one threw a hissy fit. We survived, our relationship growing stronger with every pizza ordered.

    Plus, what's with the dudes v. feta cheese hatred? Is it the new "girly" cheese and I missed the memo? I mean, I heart feta cheese on pizza, but does that have to do with my taste buds or my uterus? Inquiring minds must know. :P

  7. #7

    still missing the point. These "gentlemen" are the male version of the femenist who still demands men open the door for her (or let her get in the liferaft first... etc).

    If you want women to treat you like some sort of alpha male, then you have to actually act like a man, not a little child. If you expect your "dates" to adhere to some sort of pre-femenist femininity, then you have to be able to pick up the slack.

  8. PlethoraOfPinatas

    Wow, I had no idea a metaphor like goat cheese on a pizza would get so much play! Jules, how about a truce since we are the hottest thing in WCP this week?

    1. The goat cheese metaphor was just that, A METAPHOR. Personally I like goat cheese and I had some on my homemade pizza last week.

    2. Yes the date is for her entertainment, but you are more coniving that me (if I take the role as Goat Cheese Refuser). You will do anything to keep her happy instead of being yourself, which I believe she will ultimately be more attracted to. To continue the pizza METAPHOR, you will choke down a pineapple/anchovy slice just to get to second base, whereas I know that I can have any girl in the place, which will make her more attracted to me.

    3. YOU ARE CORRECT! Most of the guys who buy those books don't know how to differentiate between getting walked all over and treating a girl to a good time, my former self included. Before I started taking personal inventory of my actions I didn't realize I was making every girl my best friend within 5 minutes of meeting her. The result was I spent a lot of time talking as friends and getting rejected when trying for more. Now, i haven't lost those girl friends, but I'm dating their friends. Where's the hate and misogyny in that?

  9. #9

    I totally love how PlethoraOfPinatas just happened to casually drop that he whips up homemade goat-cheese pizzas in his spare time. Jules, are you biting yet?

  10. #10

    PoP -
    1 - I understand the pizza was an example (not a metaphor). But whether it is goat cheese, brussel sprouts or dim sum, if you're going to run with stereotypes, then suck it up and be a man and eat it.

    2 - "whereas I know that I can have any girl in the place, which will make her more attracted to me" BZZZT. This is where you fail. You've already asked the girl out on a date you idiot. You've invited someone to be your guest in some sort of activity. Now you are a host. As such, you are obligated to ensure they enjoy themselves. As for "choking down a pineapple/anchovy..." you missed the point again. It's food. If you are a man, you are not going to have to "choke it down", because you aren't going to find it that unpleasant. We aren't talking about eating something not generally classified as food. Oh... and for the record, if any action has a non-zero chance of reducing your odds of getting laid, and you perform said action, then your penis has the right to cut off all blood to your brain and cause an aneurism. That's the rule.

    3 - I don't find any misogyny in any of this. Just childishness. I also still suspect you don't completely understand the difference between getting walked all over, and treating a girl to a good time. Granted, this is just off a couple sentences, so I could be wrong. But to act like you "know that I can have any girl in the place, which will make her more attracted to me", suggests you don't understand the difference. You expect her to act "submissive" to you "alpha-male ness", but you are unwilling/unable to take on the responsibilities which would come with that position.

  11. #11

    PoP: Do you eat pussy? If yes, we can have a truce.

    I went on a date last night. We mutually decided we wanted to share a quesadilla. I can't figure out how to fit that into this ongoing discussion.

  12. #12

    What kind of quesadilla was it? Feta and sausage?

  13. #13

    Oh was chicken and veggie...does that change things? It does, doesn't it? Suddenly I'm not sure how things stand with this guy. Damn.

  14. #14

    Why does "feta and sausage" sound so dirty?

  15. #15

    jules, the question you have to ask yourself is: Are you the chicken? Or are you the veggie? Then you'll know who the real Alpha in the relationship is.

  16. #16

    HAHAHA...“I can have any woman in this place.” You just confirmed my point. You DO want women to follow you around like puppies and submit their entire agency over their lives to you. If you don’t see how that misogyny, then there’s no help for you. I truly feel bad for the women who suffer through dates with you, and hope they realize sooner rather than later that, one day, they’re going to wake up and realize that they’ve lost their entire identity for a few minutes of bad sex.

    Don’t think I don’t know your continue to hit on me while out with my friends despite the wedding ring. Your favorite line (after insinuating that I'm not really married, because “men” don't let their ladies go out without them, or something) is “what he got that I don't have?” Ohhhh...where to even begin with that question...

  17. #17

    Jules - I think we would make a great couple, pussy and quesadillas are my two favorite things in the whole world! Care to share a wedge and get salsa'd with me?

    Mrs. D - Don't fret, i'm not into married chicks, wouldn't hit on you with that rock anyways. Besides, Jules has stolen my heart with all that tortilla talk.

  18. #18

    Oh, why not POP? Didn't you say you could have any woman in the place? I mean, especially since my DH is one of those “weirdos” that respects my right to have opinions and preferences and never forcefully overrides them! A “beta” who simply expects space to have his own opinions and preferences, whether or not I agree with them or accept them as my own. I mean, I walk all over him! Insisting that I have a right to do my own thing on occasion (and that he shouldn't give up his soccer club just because he agreed to share his life with me). In your world, I should be fawning all over you, rock or no rock. What I really need is someone to tell me what to do and how to live my life, right?

  19. #19

    DH = Designated Hitter....?

  20. #20

    "dear husband"?

  21. #21

    I suppose they both work equally well. ;)

  22. #22

    as long as too much isn't read in as a metaphor; as a label, it's kind of playful.

  23. #23

    Coming back to this topic due to a recent incident...

    This weekend, I went out with a few of my friends because, well, the DH is very sick of baseball. It's almost September, and I've dragged him to his fair share of games and made him sit through more at home...he's done for the season. :) So I went with my buddies this weekend, including one of my married male friends (whose wife was doing something else, also...that's why you need FRIENDS who have the same interests as you, for when the spouse can't handle it anymore). We went out to dinner first, and, after placing our orders beforehand because he got to the restaurant before us (at his suggestion...what a nice guy...and also acquiescing my requests for things like specific cheese and mayo on the side...a total pushover beta), the married male friend proceeded to eat his entire meal and half of mine. I didn't even notice until he apologized today.

    Happy Victor? I don't mind if a guy eats half of my's not like I'm going to finish it. ;) Sad, POP? Not only does my dude let me hang out with other guys, but even those other guys are happy to let me choose my own meal (and I would describe the said man as one of the most desirable people I know, his wife is a lucky woman!). :)

  24. #24

    In other news, I went to 2 Amy's for the first time last weekend, and THERE WAS NO GOAT CHEESE PIZZA. Only mozzarella. I think that 2 Amy's management knows something we don't.

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