The Sexist

Doggie Style: A Sex Toy for Dogs

While my colleagues have been examining the economics of prostitution and perusing sex-shop wares – on your behalf, readers – I thought I'd turn my attention to something else: animal love. Or at least animal sex.

There’s been some of that going on at the National Zoo and its Virginia research facility, of course; the stork didn't bring that baby gorilla or those clouded leopard cubs or the red panda or that endangered foal, if you know what I mean.

But let's face it: Not everyone on four legs is getting some. Which, naturally, leads to sexual frustration. Like the kind often exhibited by dogs.

Care of the site ohmidog! comes word – and image – of the first sex toy for (male) canines: the DoggieLoverDoll.

Made out of soft rubber, it comes in the shape of a girl dog, with all the right parts, including “a silicone vagina and an easy to clean reservoir.” A press release announcing its sale by the aptly named PetSmiling, with headquarters in Miami and Sao Paolo, Brazil, explains further:

You may know or have probably heard about these dolls for men that are very popular in Sex Shops around the world. There are inflatable ones, full-body, silicone, as well as other models. So now the first doll for dogs has been launched in Brazil. That’s right, a doll for dogs to practice safe sex. The majority of non-neutered dogs spend a good chunk of time looking for something to hump. They try pillows, furry creatures, people’s legs and even other animals.

And more:

When a dog tries to hump legs, stuffed animals and other objects, he cannot reach an ejaculation. With the DoggieLoverDoll he can. Human beings have their hands to masturbate themselves, now the domestic animals, which have practically no contact with females in heat, can alleviate themselves with a toy designed specifically for them. Dogs have a great sexual appetite and this novelty, surely will better their lives.

The doll comes in three sizes – small, medium and large – because a chihuahua and a Great Dane couldn’t possibly be expected to use one with the same dimensions. During what the company calls the toy’s “testing period,” the pets "showed a better quality of life based on less anxiety, less barking and less territorial demarcation."

Well, yeah: Isn't that what sex does, even in humans?

The toy's site, doggieloverdoll.com, is still being built, but check back if you're in the market. PetSmiling says it has already received orders from the United States, Germany, and Japan.

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