The Sexist

Can’t Feminists and Anti-Misandrists Just Get Along?

antimisandry

I'm not too familiar with online communities like AntiMisandry.com, a Web site dedicated to the cause of "curing feminist indoctrination." Since feminism is an affliction from which I suffer, it looks like I'm going to have to cure myself before I commence ridding the world of misandry. You know the old saying: One must truly begin to love onself before one may begin to blame all bad things on feminism.

Feminists, as is proper, hate men (RAARRRGGHHH). And yet, our deep, anti-discriminatory instincts tell us that in order to end misogyny, we must also work to end misandry. We're so torn!

And so, I've decided to delve into AntiMisandry.com to see if the anti-misandrists and the feminists can ever learn to love one another. Someone tell Matthew McConaughey, because I smell rom-com!

First, the unexpected attraction: A quick perusal of the AntiMisandry.com FAQ reveals the Web site to be as concerned withdiscrimination as your average feminist. AntiMisandry.com has strict rules against personal attacks in its forums (topics of discussion include "Female Paedophiles" and "Stupidity," but who am I to judge?). The following is a list of "discriminatory remarks & personal attacks" that AntiMisandry.com does not tolerate:

* Affiliations (male-centric for example)
* Color
* Disabilities (of any form)
* Female Centric threads (non male, father, boy, husband specific)
* Geographical local
* Military and/or Veteran Status (statements like baby killers, murderers etal)
* Misandrous global/generalizations (Obviously – See the name of the site!)
* Personal attributes (Cut/Uncut etal)
* Race
* Religious Beliefs
* Sexual Preference

So, AntiMisandry.com does not tolerate racist, homophobic, or anti-semitic postings on its Web site. It rejects any discrimination against the disabled. And it welcomes readers with all different styles of penis (circumcised and uncircumcised). Swoon!

On the other hand, it considers posts about women to be "personal attacks." But let's give the AntiMises the benefit of the doubt and chalk that up to editorial-decision jitters—after all, this is a space to talk about misandry, not misogyny. I shouldn't be so picky!

Let's take a look at the bright side! The site bans holocaust and slavery deniers (bonus!). What's more, AntiMisandry.com also rejects sexist and racist terms—the site's list of unacceptable "derogatory labels" ranges from "cocksucker" to "kraut." And here's the kicker: AntiMisandry.com explicitly bans the word "cunt." My hero!

But then, all of a suddent, AntiMisandry.com changed. Behold, the inevitable bombshell:

Search results for the word "kraut" (2)

Search results for the word "cocksucker" (6)

Search results for the word "cunt" (101)

Whaaa—but—how can this be? "Cunt" is a definitive no-no on AntiMisandry.com. And AntiMisandry.com would never lie to me! Would you, AntiMisandry.com? There must be some explanation for this!

And there is: "Please note that if the label is indeed used, CONTEXT will of course be taken into consideration."

Oh, of course! The context of "cunt." Whew. Baby. I knew I was overreacting. Your 101 posts referencing "cunt" must really be delving into the progressive, Vagina Monologue-y, I'm-taking-"cunt"-back context, right, AntiMisandry.com?

Right? Anti?

Well, let's take a look. First, we have the "cunt journalist" context:

misandry4

The confusingly laudatory "alpha cunt" context:

alpha cunt

And my personal favorite, the context of "cuntoon":

misandry2

AntiMisandry.com, you bastard. I knew I never should have fallen for you. Sure, the part of me that hopes to score a lucrative movie deal out of this experience wants to say, "you had me at cuntoon." But the part of me that hopes to never hear the word "cuntoon" again, however, needs to say goodbye.

  • John D.

    Those terrible "anti-misandrists"! I hear they want innocent men to be freed from prison, and children to grow up in two-parent homes. What a bunch of jerks!

  • Conrad Davis

    Yeah, once they can put those cunts back in their place the world will be put right again, like in the good ol' days.

  • missdk

    Wait, how does feminism put innocent men in jail and break up homes? *confused*

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  • http://www.theanonymums.com Anonymums

    There is a much deeper discrimination, its called violence against women and it is perpetuated with rhetorics and gratifications such as these. We have been following these groups for quite some time and everytime one digs deep enough, you find evidence that these men have in fact been violent towards women and children. The groups are purely there to pervert the course of justice, confuse and divert the public into gratifying their abuse and reduce all means of support for ceasing violence against women and children. Thank you for writing am insightful article.

  • http://vawnews.blogspot.com vawnewscentral

    Innocent men freed from prison? Where were you all during and prior to the civil rights movement, especially?

    2 parent homes? Gays and Lesbians make those also so hopefully you're active in that movement as well.

    Baloney.

  • Annabelle

    Those just want an excuse to whine about their ex wives and how "she" took his house, his kids, his life blah blah blah.
    They gather in groups to slap each other on the back to provide support that it is ok to hit women, abuse women and avoid child support.
    It's a boys club for men who have never matured and who are still whining that it wasn't their fault.
    Real men love women and real women need men but nobody needs a jerk.

  • Santo Christoforo, MD

    Reviews of books by Kathleen Parker, Esther Vilar and Blair McCrae; an Oxford study on male superiority in chess, science and architecture; an EU-funded study on women making lousy bosses; a report by the US Army on the comparative physical inferiority of women recruits; articles by Glenn Sacks, Carey Roberts and Robert Shaeffer; and all you can write is that one guy called Trina Robbin's "Wimmins Comix" cuntoons (because they vividly portrayed dykes killing men)? You aren't reviewing antimisandry.com honestly or objectively.

  • http://www.facebook.com/daniel.andrew.methoxypropane.poldore.blackburn Daniel

    This worries me significantly. Even the title is worrying. This anti-misandry league seems to associate ALL forms of feminism with misandry, which simply is not the case. In fact, many noted and published feminists, such as Christina Hoff-Sommers argue that misandric feminism leads directly to misogyny in her book "Who stole feminism: how women have betrayed women"

    Misandry is an abomination, as is misogyny. It was Yoko Ono who said that "...the woman is the nigger of the world..." it could be argued, that the persecution of women all over the world for hundreds of years as well as in places today, has led to the more widespread anti-misogynist feelings, as well as the numerous feminist movements in the US and UK, heightening the media and public response to feminism.

    I now get the feeling that this comment may have had too much effort put into it, as Annabelle's statements seem quite sensible.

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  • Hyman Lowe

    One of the things they do on antimisandry.com is teach participants how to identify the tactics feminists use to argue their cause. One is the use of slogans or sloganeering. Another is the use of 'blaming and shaming' when they debate. Examples are overuse and inappropriate use of the words "whine" and "rape". They are not prepared to debate, so they use a word with connotations that shame and ridicule the other party. Feminists then do not have to argue, because they've given you pariah status and you're not worthy to debate.

  • Q™

    This is weird, with everything there must be balance. Misogyny on one side, Misandry on the other. No real promotion of the "MIDDLE". Breaking the Glass ceiling and Feminism are not synonymous. Neither is chauvanism and misandry. Unfortunately, flawed ideologies prevail and we do in fact get societial perversions of "THE MIDDLE". These perversions create legislative threats to two parent homes and biasly criminalize men in general, without really looking into the true issues. Anyone who doesn't believe this needs to sit and watch what goes on in DC Superior Court (with the Family Court especially). By default the man is abusive, never mind the fact that there are some manipulative women who bat their eyes and "play the victim".

    This is not to say that men don't do their share of abuse. However, their is much mental abuse (to men) being propogated by certain women under the guise of feminism. Women's rights are important, but not at the expense of Men's rights. Conversely, Men's rights are important, but not at the expense of Women's rights. In stead of arguing the extremes, how about work to solidify the middle. By doing so both misogyny and misandry will die off.

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    Q, I've also spent a lot of time in D.C. Superior Court, sitting in on domestic violence cases. I haven't seen any batting of eyelashes, but I have seen many, many cases come through the court involving men attempting to protect themselves (and often their children) from female defendants, and I've yet to see any gender bias on behalf of a judge in cases brought by women OR men. If you know of ANY particular case or judge you think has been involved in sex discrimination, I would love to write about it!

  • mary

    @Santo Christoforo, MD
    how in the hell do you think any of the things you listed make that site sound better? if anything, the information you provided corroborated the original statements made in hess's post. if i were someone like you, i'd call you a "cunt-ommenter".

  • Q™

    Amanda, what I was talking about is what happens inside and outside of the court room. Seeing and listening to female witnesses/plaintiffs cavorting in pre/post-courtroom conversations (outside of the judge's ears) is almost scary. Women indeed walk in the courtroom with an elevated assumption that the law will be on their side. And to ensure a victory based on that assumption, some chose manipulation of the truth. Several references I have are based on CPO cases where the "female plaintiff" exaggerated charges, yet the judge in hearing the testimony of the "male defendant" does not listen objectively -- a.k.a. Guilty until proven innocent. Thus the "male defendant" spends an inordinate amount of time defending false allegations erstwhile the "female plaintiff's" credibility never comes into question. Simply put, the expectation is that women will always tell the truth and file charges based on *real* abuse. This, coupled by DC's Zero Tolerance statute on domestic violence basically narrows any realistic expectation that cases will consistently be seen fairly. Add to that child support, and in many cases the "men" are just simply screwed. Unlike what Annebelle said, "They gather in groups to slap each other on the back to provide support that it is ok to hit women, abuse women and avoid child support.", this is not true. Even some clerks acknowledge that in order for a man to get justice and be treated fairly/morally (there is a difference), the woman must be amicable to it. If not, you have the bitterness that fuels both misandry and misogyny. I know this article is regarding anti-misandry but I wanted to be clear that some of the things that make feminism bad are the attitudes that men don't have a right to be treated equally because of historical "years" of sexism and abuse.

    Men don't typically file domestic violence cases against women. At least not often enough to make a true statistic out of it. Rather than be a victim of violence and be victimized again through emasculation when filing a complaint, most men simply deal with it, unless the violence is life- or family- threatening.

    A feeling of being perpetually wronged doesn't always result in fairness. I'm sure Women's Suffrage started with good intentions, but for some, the fight for rights can jade the participants so much that they lose sight of what fairness and equality is. That feeling of being perpetually wronged (even when rights are acheived) only results in more bitterness and victimhood, which is why the extremes of misandry and misogyny should not be tolerated. Take the victimhood out of feminism and what do you have left... Better yet, as long as you leave it in, you get misandry, womyn, and men-hating.

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    Oh, suuuuuuure, Women's Suffrage may have started out with good intentions. But as soon as women secured the right to vote, they went around, like, exercising their legal rights, and now abusers are legally required to remain 100 feet away from the people they abuse. Silly feminists.

  • Adam

    Amanda Hess, I don't know if you realized this and just misconstrued Anti-Misandry's rules in attempts to discredit it or if you were just mistaken about them, but using words like "cunt" and "cocksucker" are only against the rules when used against another member of the forum.
    When people there use the word cunt, it is almost always to describe someone outside of the forum, usually someone from feministing.com. That is why you see the word "cunt" more than cocksucker. Also, when men outside the forum are insulted, it is usually with the word "mangina" not "cocksucker."

  • Santo Christoforo, MD

    @Mary, One would have to question how old you are, judging from your juvenile attack ... maybe fourteen?
    Discussing book and movie reviews, academic research,
    conducting polls and compiling articles from media around the world are things with which you are apparently unfamiliar. Fortunately, one of the forums on antimisandry.com is Fun and Humor and is designed to help us keep a benign perspective on snarks we encounter.

  • Q™

    Okay Amanda, I give you a sincere description of "good being spoken of as evil" aka Women's Suffrage, and you get all sarcastic on me as if you were not paying attention. Getting Women the Right to Vote was (and still is) an EXCELLENT IDEA for DEMOCRACY. I'm not disputing that. What I'm saying is that, SOME PEOPLE, after fighting for a cause so long lose sight of what is fair and equitable long after they have been victorious.

    Maybe Susan B. Anthony and Sojourner Truth weren't the best of examples here, but the fact remains that there are rabid feminists who are making it bad for honest and sincere women's rights. Pop culture (including media outlets like WCP) focus on the sensational--- the rabid feminists and don't give the proper due to those who are truly working for equality. Even the storied Gloria Steinem knows when to "chill" on feminism issues as when Renée Richards became a transsexual she characterized it as "a frightening instance of what feminism could lead to". Of the same incident she is also attributed as saying "living proof that feminism isn't necessary."

    If unchecked, feminism and misandry will surely become "penis envy" and model that of chavanism and misogyny.

  • http://toysoldier.wordpress.com Jacobtk

    "AntiMisandry.com has strict rules against personal attacks in its forums (topics of discussion include “Female Paedophiles” and “Stupidity,” but who am I to judge?)."

    I fail to understand the point of the sarcasm here. Are you saying or implying that they should not talk about female pedophiles or that there are no female pedophiles, (ergo the irony of the "stupidity" forum)?

  • missdk

    "Thus the “male defendant” spends an inordinate amount of time defending false allegations erstwhile the “female plaintiff’s” credibility never comes into question. Simply put, the expectation is that women will always tell the truth and file charges based on *real* abuse. "

    Man, you say you've seen a lot of domestic violence cases, but I guess you've never seen a sexual assault one.

  • Santo Christoforo, M.D.

    @Amanda Hess - Have you returned to antimisandry.com and read the reviews of your piece?

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  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/sexist Amanda Hess

    @Santo --- I just headed over there to check them out. Most of them were pretty constructive, don't you think?

  • Annabelle

    Bobx23456 is a member of Antimisandry.com and some of his comments are:

    ""Non violence never works with these evil misandrist hate mongers.
    Only violence can fight their kind of violence. This evil dark lord
    in the black robe should not be allowed to walk the streets with
    decent human beings. Don't just fall down and let them destroy you. Be a MAN and go down
    fighting for your rights and for the rights of MEN!"

    And this one:
    "65. End the so-called "sexual offender" reporting lists, which serve primarily as hate propaganda against men. They constitute cruel and unusual punishment and have no demonstrated value in deterring any future crime. Sex crimes have lower recidivism rates than other crimes. These lists and the life long publication of the names of men are unmitigated misandry."

    Plus a lot of offensive comments regarding sex with young girls.
    This is a typical member and fromt he comments section, you can where a lot of the members slap him on the back to say they agree.

    http://bobstruth.blogspot.com
    http://antimisandry.com/members/bobx23456/
    http://whoiswhoinfathersrights.blogspot.com/

  • Michal

    Annabelle

    Ooooh! Well haven't you been a busy bee. Feeling oppressed by men 24/7?

  • Kate

    I see where the MRA's weirdos at antimisandry.com employ the same techniques to make it look like they have more supporters than they actually do, as they have on other sites. They even go so far as to create fake identities, posing as female supporters. Obviously, they are unaware of the tell tale signs that they give off as they perpetrate their dishonest methods. They can blame nobody but themselves for their reputations of moronic woman haters. The net is covered with negative views of them, with little to no positive comments from sources outside their group. Anybody reading that site can see that it's not feminism they hate, but rather all women. One doesn't even need to "read between the lines". The idiots just come right out and say it.

    Ineffectual as they are, they are nothing to be feared. I say let them have their little woman and girl hating club. Everytime one of them logs on there, the rest of us can relax knowing it's one less deviant running around our public streets.

  • http://antimisandry.com John

    Hmm, you quote a banned member and claim he is a 'typical member'... LOL far from.
    Bob is banned from most sites because he is just full of b/s. And as you claim no woman could possibly support a men's right's site - and suggest that female members *must be* male members impersonating them, then perhaps Bobx is simply a feminist, trying to give MRA's a bad name?

    Oh let me guess, the same logic doesn't apply - right?

    Just like the feminist 'claim' of *equality*, it only works when it's to your own benefit and screw others.

  • JoyAnne J.

    First of all, let me say I am a FEMALE, WOMAN, LADY... ah, you get the picture.

    This article is completely biased and whenever the author is posed with any counter, she reacts with sarcasm. Well, what can you expect from a lowly blogger on a internet paper anyway? Q, I respect you for putting the truth out there that the feminist system is so bugged, I've seen this mockery of justice and so-called "equal rights" in action myself. Kudos to you ;)

    For antimisandry.com, I feel the website gives a place for men who share the same views to logically discuss problems at hand with feminism. Because you know, feminist, lesbian, and SCUM sites are what, a dime a dosen? They're right, men are so scrutinized for what they accomplish during their lifetime, so limited to show the most genuine emotion towards others or be considered a "wus", I can't even imagine being a man with such a sense of responisibilty (Pay the bills, help raise the family, pay the bills, never break down during stress, pay bills, you get the idea) shoved down my throat since birth. Hey, maybe that's why a man is 4 times more likely to commit suicide than a woman, huh?

    Feminist, like the author here, are why I have such disdain for my gender, they want everything at their pretty, delicate little fingertips, all the power they crave and think they can handle but at no cost to them. Because you know the deal, " It's my right to be able to do whatever you can do, but you still have to pay for all the dinner dates.(Giggles)" Pish.

  • Jorge

    By the life of me I couldn't find a website with such underhanded bad blood between the sexes in Latin America if my life depended on it. Machismo is dying there about as fast as mysogyny/mysandry is growing in the U.S. When I was in college at the University of Puerto Rico women outnumbered men 2 to 1, and this was in 1977, since then the gap has increased; as relates to this, the flooding of women in the professional marketplace there has only served, in my experience, to bring men and women closer together and to level the social playing field. A similar trend can be seen in the urban environments throughout Latin America as women there establish equal financial and social power for themselves through hard work and study rather than victimist rhetoric. Us more contemporary-minded Latino men think that the way Latino women have reconciled this with their cultural and feminine identities is fantastic, although our outmoded, traditionalistic elderly may disagree. That's why younger latinos feel so confused when they come to the states (legally) for school or career opportunities and discover so much alienation between men and women. To the extent that this wierds Latinos out (men and women), it creates a barrier to social assimilation into American culture for them.

  • K

    Oh JoyAnne, I envy you your sheltered upbringing. Your parents never once explained to you that after school was done, it was sink or swim? I was told, as soon as I started school, that I'd better work hard and learn something worth knowing, because after school was over, the cold, hard world was waiting for me. "Personal Responsibility" is a value my parents taught me *and* my brothers. And you know what? I took it to heart, and have never needed to ask my parents to help me out, unlike some of their *male* offspring. I'd love to have an equal partner to help me thru this weary world, but I in no way expect him to shoulder all the stress and all the financial burdens, any more than I would tolerate him expecting the same from me in the realm of childcare.

    As far as suicide rates go, yes, men are 4X more likely to die by it. But women are twice as likely to attempt it, and luckily for the fairer sex, killing ourselves is something we don't excel in. Women feel stress just as acutely as men, but usually they will take some pills and hope for the best, rather than cut their heads off with a chainsaw. (Yes, I do know of a man who killed himself in that way.)

  • Cat

    What made me facepalm more than anything on these comments, actually, is the statement, "Real men love women and real women need men but nobody needs a jerk."

    Er, so gays and lesbians aren't real men and women?

  • Ronnie

    K said:

    "As far as suicide rates go, yes, men are 4X more likely to die by it. But women are twice as likely to attempt it, and luckily for the fairer sex, killing ourselves is something we don’t excel in"

    False

    There's no such thing as attempted suicide

    If you want to do it, you do it

    If you "fail", you purposely faked the whole thing in order to get attention

...