The Sexist

Library Conference Secret Twitter Proves Librarians Sexy, Stern

When the American Library Association's annual conference kicked off in Chicago last Thursday, some attendees wanted the world to know that librarian get-togethers aren't all about shushing and stacking: There's a lot of fucking, too.

The nearly week-long librarian meet-up, which began July 9, delivers "over 300 educational programs" to professional bibliophiles each year—including workshops like "Collection Development: Decision Making With Data" and "When Is Nice Too Nice? Strategies For Disengaging From the Talkative Patron." Some attendees, however, haven't been entirely satisfied with the ALA programming. So they launched a "secret" Twitter account for librarians to share more intriguing professional insights. A typical anonymous ALA tweet:

Some librarians are exhausted by the conference's material ("I have reached the point of the conference where I no longer give a damn about anything anyone is saying any more.") Others are inspired by a perceived lack of cultural acceptance for a librarian's sex life ("I am an adult. I am a librarian. I enjoy good sex. Including at this conference. What is the problem?"). Most of them, for whatever reason, are talking about fucking—that's the "sexy" part. Not everyone is happy about it. That's where "stern" comes in.

According to the librarian-blogger at not all bits, ALA's first anonymous Twitter free-for-all, @alasecrets, was accessible via a username and password circulated among conference-goers. Less than two days into the festivities, however, the account was shut down by a fellow librarian. Writes not all bits:

Well, it saddens me that a member of the library profession took exception to @alasecrets and shut it down by logging in and changing the password. They protected the updates thereafter so, supposedly, people couldn’t see them.

You’re going to have to pardon my language here but FUCK that. I despise censorship in any form and I especially loathe the idea that a librarian shut down that Twitter account. So I did something about it.

The sexy librarian gossip site has now been re-born in the form of @ALASecrets2009—and re-illustrated with an icon of a Naughty Librarian Halloween costume (pictured). Conference attendees can now only post to the new feed by e-mail, meaning that fun-hating librarians can't tinker with the account details to quiet the masses. For the less horny librarian, the #ala2009 hash tag still offers up plenty of non-sexual ALA chat fare.

The first go-around of librarian fucking Tweets has now been "protected" from the public. Below, the ten sexiest nerd tweets from the feed's second incarnation:









UPDATE: The American Library Association annual conference will be held in Washington, D.C. next year. Yesss.

UPDATE 2: Some sexy preservationists have uncovered the lost secret tweets!

  • Matt Corrigan

    nice I'mnot a librarian...
    where do I get on with this?

  • Paper Lover

    There's absolutely no evidence that a librarian shut down the original alasecrets account. The account had the password posted in the bio, anyone who ran across it could have done it including a bot searching for the word "password." It currently has a random string of numbers for a "name."

  • The Annoyed Librarian

    Well, you keep on playing devil's advocate. You twopointopians were having too much fun. Had to shut you down, as the teenie boppers like to put it. If AL's not getting any sexe, alors personne n'est

  • Anonymous

    God I hope we get something like this at the American Bar Association Annual meeting in Chicago two weeks from now. Would certainly make the meeting more entertaining.

  • Been there, wore the shirt

    For those people who want a memento of their time in Chicago, there's always the t-shirt.

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  • Bruno

    I ‘m wondering what the librarians from District of Columbia Public Library are doing in Chicago. I hope they are following the example of the former mayor Barry (spending our tax dollars).

  • Library Slut

    Fortunately despite my drunken stupor I had the foresight to see where the original alasecrets was headed and saved some of the tweets. I stopped playing after the first site was shut down by some seized up sanctimonious fingerwagging, well, you know who you are. Here are sonme tweets:

    After reading @alasecrets think official conference tag should change from #ala2009 to #LibrarianSlutFest

    Jesus, he was big tho'. (smiles)

    Last night kinda hazy. Very tired, not focused this morning. Kinda sore down *there*. Need more coffee. Poss. meds later.

    I am a technology implementation expert and I will prove it just as soon as I figure out how to advance my slides.

    I am a librarian. That's why I am reading every single word on every single slide. Now go to sleep.

    @XXXXXX just called us a horde of drunken sex-crazed whores. And we thank him.


    "Leveraging Social Media in a Time of Moral Decay" Palm B, 3 pm.

  • Dan Kleinman

    Really an interesting blog post. I just blogged on this, thanks in part to you. See "Tweet Censorship at the ALA Gangbang" at

  • Library Slut

    The whole original @alasecrets transcript is at !

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  • Jo

    "ten sexist nerd tweets" -- you mean, "sexiest"? typo?

  • Amanda Hess

    Oops, typo! You can't get anything past these librarians. It's been fixed, thanks Jo!

  • Edward

    I guess this gives new meaning to the concept of tagjacking.

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  • Getting Racy

    The librarian fetish is a huge turn on for a lot of people. Many men dream of a well read, smart and sexy woman like that. Just the idea of a sexy librarian group is cool. I love the naughty librarian costume picture they used.

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    There is no doubt that I would add such a wonderful site to the bookmark, thank you. Regards, Reader.

  • H

    More proof that Americans are filthy, disgusting people. By the way, I jacked off to your pic.

  • Patrick

    Where are you from? Is it a secret? :)


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  • CitrusBlog

    good article! if you want a twitter tool:

  • Sandy Copeland

    Yeah, nice Work :D

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