The Sexist

Date Rape Anthem: The Douchiest Date Rape Song Ever!

Brightest Young Things introduces us to "the worst hip-hop group ever": "White & Crazy Kids." How crazy are they? So crazy, they just might black out and rape somebody. With an impressive one-two-punch, the worst hip hop group ever may have created the douchiest date rape song ever. It's called "Get Your Drink On." Let's take a listen.

Date Rape Anthem: White & Crazy Kids' "Get Your Drink On." I really don't want to make you go over to their Web site, but I think you have to listen to it here.

Relevant Lyrics:

Swallow the bottle til it's hollow
Get your drink on, get your drink on, baby get your drink on
Blacked out getting head from a fat chick
Get your drink on, baby get your drink on
In your car doing 80 in a 40 zone
Get your drink on, get your drink on
Waking up with a chick that you don't know
Get your drink on, get your drink on

. . . As soon as I black out, I act out
Find me at the bar because I'm buying all the [unintelligible]
Four a.m. come around, I'm gettin' kicked out.
Five a.m. come around, I'm pulling my dick out.

Why It's So Rapey: With songs like "First I Get My Cup," "Drinking is Guaranteed," and the jazz-infused douche jam "Feelin' It," these guys make Asher Roth look like a feminist musical genius.

"Get Your Drink On" is a lot like Roth's "I Love College," actually. But instead of Roth's safe-sex message—"when it comes to condoms, put two on"—we have the White & Crazy Kids boasting about having "no condoms on." And in place of Roth's date-rape warning—"don't have sex if she's too gone—we have this: "Patron 'em up, and they get down to blowin'."

I suspect that "Get Your Drink On" was concocted in a laboratory by anti-date-rape advocates looking for the perfect pop culture antidote to alcohol-assisted acquaintance rape. After hearing the White & Crazy Kids rap about passing out in cars, not remembering having sex, and hooking up with chicks who go to Arizona State, would-be date rapists can come to only one conclusion: Rape is the douchiest thing in the world. If you don't want to be a douche, don't do anything these guys "rap" about.

On the Hierarchy of Date Rape Jams, "Get Your Drink On" scores a zero sweetness score and a zero positivity score, making it, in fact, the douchiest song about date rape. Ever:

Comments

  1. #1

    "when it comes to condoms put two on"? that's not very safe, the two condoms create friction between each other so both get corroded. no good. :(

  2. #2

    Good point. Lyrical exaggeration can sometimes lead to bad sexual health advice.

  3. #3

    I love their songs. Since when did beauty is in the eye of the beholder get thrown out the window?

  4. #4

    The white crazy kids is a funny hiphop group and your taking the lryic too seriously! Their going to become the biggest thing since wired al! Jk but there pretty damn good and think there better Aston r.

  5. #5

    This is supposed to be music u get drunk to anyway. That's why they put a parental advisory sticker on cd's. Quit hatn and grab ur cup.nbig

  6. #6

    So the white and crazy kids with a song called "Get Your Drink On" rates lower on the "Date-Rape Jamology" than a song by a group named "Anal Cunts" named "You Were Too Ugly To Rape"? Ok, you and your silly blog need to shut up...now.

  7. #7

    "toblerone,"

    The group is named "Anal Cunt," and as you can see from the title of the song, Anal Cunt actually rejects rape in this instance. And they still got zero positivity points! Sorry, I'm a pretty tough grader.

    Also, their music is not coupled with racism, which makes it one point sweeter than White & Crazy Kids. Thanks!

  8. #8

    I am a good black friend of white and crazy and one of their lead beat producers is asian so check your facts before you call them racist. You are as biased as you say their music is….THINK ON THAT ONE

  9. #9

    Yes! Finally someone who realizes Baby It's Cold Outside is so a song about date rape! I've been saying it for years! No one would believe me. I hate hearing that song during Christmas. Always just makes me feel dirty.

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