The Sexist

Glory Hole Anthem: George Michael’s “Outside”

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Seeing as June is Glory Hole Month, I thought I'd offer up some Sexist musical stylings of the more consensual variety. Today, I give you: The Only Glory Hole Jam I Could Find.

It turns out there aren't too many popular songs dedicated to anonymous sex through holes. For the most part, the closest thing I could find was this parody lyric sheet offering a rest-stop twist to Bruce Springsteen's "Glory Days." If anyone out there is familiar with some more serious Glory Hole works, please let me know.

George Michael, of course, has got us covered:

Glory Hole Anthem: George Michael's "Outside"

Relevant Lyrics:

I think I m done with the sofa
I think I m done with the hall
I think I'm done with the kitchen table, baby


Let's go outside
In the sunshine
I know you want to, but you can't say yes
Let's go outside
In the moonshine
Take me to the places that I love best

Why It's So Hole-y: Released in 1998, "Outside" is half pride anthem, half PR coup. The track is Michael's official coming out song—as both a gay man and a frequenter of anonymous restroom sex. Six months prior to releasing the track, Michael was arrested by an undercover cop in a Los Angeles restroom for "engaging in a lewd act." Michael characterized the encounter thusly: "I'll show you mine, you show me yours, and then when you show me yours, I'm going to nick you."

Some have linked the music video's depictions of disco-urinals and kissing male cops to the incident; I don't know, I think it's probably just a coincidence. Anyway, the video prompted the undercover LAPD officer Marcelo Rodriguez to blow his anonymous sex cover and sue Michael for $10 million, because he is a big baby.

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