R. Kelly Wants to Fuck Every Girl In the World
So, R. Kelly has pulled the vocoder out of the closet and recorded a remix to Lil' Wayne's "Every Girl." The original track declares, "I wish I could fuck every girl in the world." Wayne doesn't get into the logistics, but that's gotta be a scenario that involves some nonconsensual sex. The original song, at least, sidesteps outright rape by inserting "in about 3 years" before the line "holla at me, Miley Cyrus."
But now that the lyrics have been taken from Wayne's mouth and into the hands of noted teen enthusiast R. Kelly, the use of the world "girl" seems a whole lot fuckin' creepier. Let's recap:
1995: R. Kelly, 27, marries 15-year-old Aaliyah while working with her on her debut album titled, strangely enough, "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number."
2002: R. Kelly, 35, is "indicted on 21 counts of having sexual intercourse with a minor." He is later acquitted.
2008: R. Kelly, 41, tells BET:
BET: Let me ask you something real that millions of Americans are thinking about and wondering about you. Do you like teenage girls?
Kelly: When you say teenage, how old are we talking?
BET: Girls who are teenagers.
BET: 19 and younger.
Kelly: I have some 19-year-old friends, but I don’t like anybody illegal if that’s what we’re talking about, underage.
2009: R. Kelly, 42, releases a song in which he declares, "I want to fuck every girl in the world." Among them: a girl, her friend, her sister, her cousin, her mom, and "the Statue of Liberty."
I suppose this song could be good PR for R. Kelly. See, he likes older women too—the Statue of Liberty is like over 100 years old! But I have to believe that the repetition, over and over, of wanting to fuck girls can't be doing him any favors. Add to that the fact that this song is absolutely terrible, and we might havethe—but can it be true? Hath the Gods of Nonconsensual Sex Tracks finally revealed to us the most worthless date rape jam ever: A song that sounds completely terribly, and is also super sexually creepy? I think we've got him!