The Sexist

R. Kelly Wants to Fuck Every Girl In the World


So, R. Kelly has pulled the vocoder out of the closet and recorded a remix to Lil' Wayne's "Every Girl." The original track declares, "I wish I could fuck every girl in the world." Wayne doesn't get into the logistics, but that's gotta be a scenario that involves some nonconsensual sex. The original song, at least, sidesteps outright rape by inserting "in about 3 years" before the line "holla at me, Miley Cyrus."

But now that the lyrics have been taken from Wayne's mouth and into the hands of noted teen enthusiast R. Kelly, the use of the world "girl" seems a whole lot fuckin' creepier. Let's recap:

1995: R. Kelly, 27, marries 15-year-old Aaliyah while working with her on her debut album titled, strangely enough, "Age Ain't Nothing But A Number."

2002: R. Kelly, 35, is "indicted on 21 counts of having sexual intercourse with a minor." He is later acquitted.

2008: R. Kelly, 41, tells BET:

BET: Let me ask you something real that millions of Americans are thinking about and wondering about you. Do you like teenage girls?

Kelly: When you say teenage, how old are we talking?

BET: Girls who are teenagers.

Kelly: 19?

BET: 19 and younger.

Kelly: I have some 19-year-old friends, but I don’t like anybody illegal if that’s what we’re talking about, underage.

2009: R. Kelly, 42, releases a song in which he declares, "I want to fuck every girl in the world." Among them: a girl, her friend, her sister, her cousin, her mom, and "the Statue of Liberty."

I suppose this song could be good PR for R. Kelly. See, he likes older women too—the Statue of Liberty is like over 100 years old! But I have to believe that the repetition, over and over, of wanting to fuck girls  can't be doing him any favors. Add to that the fact that this song is absolutely terrible, and we might havethe—but can it be true? Hath the Gods of Nonconsensual Sex Tracks finally revealed to us the most worthless date rape jam ever: A song that sounds completely terribly, and is also super sexually creepy? I think we've got him!

  • Ian Schlapkohl

    "With one song I could fuck the whole club"

    It's 1/2 Trapped in the Clost 1/2 Flight of the Conchords. I'm awestruck.

  • Amanda Hess

    Yeah, man, R. Kelly can fuck you with his voice, hadn't you heard?

  • sock puppet

    When he could just f* Chaka Kahn, who IS every woman. Oh, he just wants girls...

  • Kevin G

    I think people takin this a lil to seriously the song is good has a good beat and theres other songs of different genres about sex/rape/drugs and all that other stuff. It's called entertainment for a reason not to be taken literally.

    And no "girls" is not supposed to mean "underage girls." It means "'girls' is one syllable and flows better with the lyrics than 'hardworking independent woman' it seems your looking for."

  • Amanda Hess

    Oh my god, I would love if R. Kelly recorded a song titled “I wish I could fuck every hardworking independent woman in the world.”

  • justhetruth is actually pretty catchy. dont you haters have anything better to do? I feel sorry for you ladies, must either be 1)old expired bags 2)ugly

    Take the sticks outta your asses and maybe one day someone will want to fuck you too....but crying about hit songs on the internet def wont get you any dick...or pussy or whatever it is you want. pitiful.

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  • maribel

    Aahaha. i think if either wayne or kelly made a song called 'i wish i could fuck every woman(or lady) inthe world' , it would be an improvement... Sometimes people reallly do think that a "girl" means a female that is not fully matured. &Hey, lets face it, originally that is what it meant, so it makes sense to think the song is a lil off. Juust sayingg. Don't hate me. But uh, i can't really get into rKelly's music. Not for me. Wayneee all the wayyy. ツ
    I'm done.