The Sexist

The Inventor of the “CockBib” Speaks Out

Earlier this week, I introduced you to the world of the "CockBib," and the men who wear them to maintain ball sac dryness—and hilarity!—during oral sex.

I finally tracked down the Inventor of the CockBib after several CockBib fans (including one named, oddly enough, "Amanda Hess") posted very positive CockBib reviews on my blog, from his IP address. Below, the Inventor speaks out about how to parse the nonsensical CockBib, the virtues of ball dryness, and the female-friendly CockBibs he's rolling out next:

IF THE COCKBIB IS MEANT TO PROTECTs YOUR BALLS FROM WETNESS, WHY DO YOU WANT THE NUTS IN HER MOUTH? [Re: "It's Showtime: These Nuts in Ya Mouth, Take 1"]

Wearing a CockBib that says "These Nuts In Ya Mouth" is just pure comedy and though the CockBib can be utilized and is quite effective at keeping that part of a male dry, I would not have ever created the CockBib if I could not make it funny. The Idea of a CockBib is to make people laugh . . . Period.

WHAT DUDE WANTS TO KEEP HIS BALLS DRY ANYWAY?

In response to your question 'do you know many men who get annoyed when their balls get wet during blow jobs?' I will let you in on a little secret. Most men would not complain to their partner no matter how messy things got down there. Simply, because they don't want to lose that privilege.

Based on my research, most people will buy these because they are funny, not because they are unsatified with a bowjob. Ironically enough, I have received emails from women who say things like " This is great, I am always asking my boyfriend if the has a towel, can't wait to buy a few".

ARE ALL COCKBIBS PATENTLY OFFENSIVE?

I have a line of Cockbibs coming out aimed at women who would buy them as gag gfts for their partner. They will have saying like "You call that a D*ck"...LOL. I know that women talk about a man's size to their girlfriends, so I will create a CockBib from a womans point of view.

Well amanda, I have to go now. I have to think of some more offensive & non offensive phrases for my CockBibs. Oh, and please try not to slam us so hard next time. :)

And so, the Inventor returns to the drawing board, where he will employ his ball dryness research in his pursuit of the perfect blend of absorption . . . and humor. May I humbly submit my freelance CockBib concept, entitled, "It's Showtime! These Nuts In Ya Mouth . . . Take Two"?

  • CockBib Inc.

    Very funny amanda...lol!

    How about we send you a free cockbib, maybe that will can experience the joy and laughter a CockBib can actually bring.

    I mean.. It is the gift that keeps on giving, whether it be laughs or pleasure!

    I'll put one in the mail for ya!

  • I'll put one in the male for ya!

  • CockBib Inc.

    Huh? lol!

  • anonymous

    Funny, but functional, I think not! To the woman who needs a towel afterwards, this may work but if anything the bib restricts natural airflow and doesn't let heat dissipate in a normal manner. "Teabaggers" would find this device awkward at best.

  • CockBib Inc.

    Actually CockBibs are quite comfortable and do not restrict air flow, Thought I must say they were not created with the "teabaggers" in mind!

  • Cronin

    "Based on my research, most people will buy these because they are funny, not because they are unsatified with a bowjob."

    Research? You mean to say you have a demographic breakdown somewhere that gives you clear numbers on what prompts people to buy baby clothes for their genitals? For the sake of social science, please publish that pie chart somewhere.

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