What I also don't understand about the rape apologists defending this song is that the word "blame" means assigning responsibility for something wrong or bad. So Foxx is essentially saying alcohol is responsible for something wrong -- in this case, luring an otherwise unwilling woman into what he thinks is sex but what most sane people understand is rape. I mean, really, if she's not willing to have sex with you without being totally hammered, getting her shitfaced isn't going to change whether you've gotten consent. Why would you want to keep trying if you know somebody's sober answer is no, anyhow? There's a reason why salespeople can't stand outside of bars waiting for drunk people to come out and make sales, and why researchers on studies can't have intoxicated patients sign consent forms. This doesn't mean that people who are in a relationship can't ever have drunk sex, but plying a stranger with alcohol to get them to do something they wouldn't do otherwise and so that they'll be less able to fight you off? Hell no. No way is that shit ever acceptable.

Hess is doing cultural criticism, waving her hands at what might be problematic in the above songs. She uses the neologism "rapey" to describe the aspects of these songs that trivialize rape itself or trivialize situations that place women at greater risk of rape - like pouring up mad henny in the club. It's an aesthetic/moral argument about these, uh, cultural artifacts.

A related-but-separate question is what, exactly, constitutes "rape". The laws of our society usually say that rape is "sex without consent," and then they go on further to specify under what circumstances an individual can meaningfully be said to have given consent. For instance, our society has an age that an individual must obtain before they are legally allowed to give consent. Also, an individual must be conscious to give consent.

Now, the amount of henny one must consume before losing consciousness will vary from person to person, and society may never be able to craft a perfect legal precedent to address that. But that very ambiguity makes it altogether appropriate for citizens to weigh in on the cultural narratives surrounding (situations that could lead to) rape. Indeed, if we hold feminist moral convictions, we are compelled to weigh in.

As a man, if I think critically, it might slowly dawn on me that the seduction strategy of getting women fucked up on henny might not be such a good idea. I ought to deploy alternative strategies, like pretending that I am interested in what she is saying, or complimenting her hairdo.

Date rape exists, in part, because of a perceived blurry line between consent, and assault. That line ain't really so blurry until people go around blurring it; for instance by asserting that something is 'rapey', meaning rape-like.

As poetry, song lyrics are fodder for consideration of cultural attitudes. In regards to judging the content of any particular song, I lose confidence in your judgment when you blend in the whimsy so entertainingly.

(a) want to have sex with her
(b) think you know better than she does and assert that she really wants YOU, too
(c) serve up goose, tron, vodka, and henny until you two "agree"
(d) assert that SHE is the only one who needs to find an excuse for her actions by "blaming" it on the alcohol (instead of you).

Obviously, booze makes consent blurry. Advocating for / glamorizing bringing large amounts of alcohol into the situation in order to blur that consent is rapey.