The Sexist

Oregon Legislature Won’t Comment on Semen Bill

The Oregon House voted on Tuesday to pass House Bill 2478 [PDF], a measure which would modify its "sexual abuse in second degree" crime to include throwing semen at people. House members declined to discuss the bill at length before the vote, preferring to let the bill speak for itself. The bill, if passed by the state's senate, would incorporate the following acts into the crime:

For the purpose of arousing or gratifying the sexual desire of the person or another person, intentionally propels any dangerous substance at a victim who does not consent thereto. . . . As used in this section, “dangerous substance” means blood, urine, semen or feces.

The bill was prompted by "an incident last June when a man threw his semen on a mother in a Portland area Target store. Her little girl saw it first." The man in that case was convicted of plain 'ol assault.

According to The Oregonian's Michelle Cole, Rep. Chris Garrett, who sponsored the bill, was a bit squeamish when the semen bill hit the floor:

"Good bill. I urge your aye vote," Rep. Chris Garrett, D-Lake Oswego, said Tuesday about House Bill 2478.

Any closing remarks?

"No," Garrett said firmly.

Like many gross and unexplainable offenses, the semen throwing thing has been categorized as "part of a gang initiation rituals."

  • Matthew

    not to be confused with Alexander Semin of the Washington Capitals.

...