Vibrating Razor Adds Dangerous New Element to Shower Masturbation
The "Tinge" vibrating razor (artist's rendering)
Daily Candy is an e-mail service that sends sassy, glowing, and thoroughly useless advertorials to your inbox each morning. For reasons even I cannot comprehend, I subscribe to this service, only to methodically delete each morning e-mail without reading it.
Some Daily Candy subscribers who are more dedicated than I brought this recent ad to my attention: It's for "Tinge, the first (and, we’re pretty sure, only) razor-slash-vibrator!"
The product is so ridiculous that it manages to stretch the bullshit capabilities of even the Daily Candy team:
Have you ever been in the shower, shaving your legs, when you started to get turned on? Didn’t you wish that trusty razor of yours could satisfy more sensual needs?
Now it can with the Tinge, the first (and, we’re pretty sure, only) razor-slash-vibrator! Yes. Really.
The Tinge may look like an ordinary shaver, but just throw on the cap and voila—party time! Finally, you can remove unwanted stubble and get off with a single device.
But wait, there’s more: The Tinge has a whopping 32 different speed/mode combinations for your pleasure, and it’s water resistant, so you can get freaky in the bathtub.
At first, I assumed this was some bizarre April Fools prank. But no: The Tinge is real, and its creators really do want you to shove a razor up your vagina. Daily Candy,
9:21 pm
I know *I've* always wanted to stick a razor-sharp blade up my vagina. Men are totally awesome at engineering shit for women.
I love how sarcastic some of the testimonials are:
"The Tinge is a genius idea, and there’s nothing, creepy, shady, or pervy about it!"
Methinks the lady doth protest too much.
9:35 am
Have we learned NOTHING from the disastrous jigsaw/dildo combination?
Amanda, I see you becoming the Ralph Nader of sex toys. Keep us updated!
8:00 pm
actually, possibly poor juxtaposition of razors + vags aside, i think it's not a bad idea. a little discretion for those who feel they need it (how many women do *you* know who would turn into a stammering, beet-red mess if they thought someone knew they owned a sex toy?), and probably gets the job done better than the electric toothbrush.
8:59 am
electric toothbrush. shudder.
i agree that the discretion aspect might make this a popular sale on the Interwebs. I just wonder what happens when the purchaser's boyfriend/girlfriend/roommate picks up the razor and wonders why they've gone to such elaborate lengths to disguise their sex toy as an everyday object.
12:51 pm
Hi Amanda,
Our records indicate you have never purchased this or requested a press sample for review.
If you had you'd know there is no danger with our product at all as it cannot be used as a razor and vibrator simultaneously.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJqPC3D7KzA
Best,
Matt Roberts
Pres/Founder
mytinge.com
7:06 pm
Dear Meg,
"Men are totally awesome at engineering shit for women."
The answer to this if you don't like what men design for you is to get off your fat ass and design something for yourself.Why is it that womens only concept of "doing" something themselves is to whinge and whine and complain until a man does it for them? Why are you then surprised when it doesn't live up to your expectations? I do find the idea of a vibrating razor risible and only chanced on this website because I wondered whether I was alone in thinking this was a thinly disguised sex toy. (Note to editor: feel free to include my email address, I would welcome any response)
6:05 pm
The editor tells me that I can include my email address which is atdenykem@aol.com