The Sexist

Quinn Bradlee Loses Virginity to Prostitute, Doesn’t Understand Women

The Times UK has published an excerpt from journalistic power-spawn Quinn Bradlee's new book, A Different Life. The book is about how Bradlee—son to Sally Quinn and Ben Bradlee—struggled with disability growing up, and also lost his virginity to a prostitute for $35 while on vacation in the Carribean with his parents.

The weird part about this whole thing isn't that the brothel was called "Heaven's Gate"; or that he was mysteriously driven there by a taxi driver named "Silky"; or that Bradlee didn't even figure out what he was paying for until "she started to take off her clothes"; or that he was "glad it happened"; or that he immediately told his mother; or that his mother then dragged him back to the brothel to pick up his prostitute and test her for HIV because Sally Quinn "worries way too much, if you ask me."

No, the weird part is that this hilarious little Carribean prostitution adventure is Bradlee's way of introducing a much more serious topic: "Girls." Bradlee closes out the chapter by wondering why he's been unlucky with the ladies:

More than anything, I want a girlfriend. I think one of the reasons I have a hard time taking it to the next level with girls is because I had no contact with girls for much of my adolescence. Sometimes I think that I’m a loser, that I’ll never find a girlfriend, that I’ll be a nobody for the rest of my life.

I seem to have the worst luck with women no matter how hard I try. I feel they’re picking up some vibe from me that says I can’t handle a relationship, or I’m not mature enough to be in a relationship. Whatever it is, I am apparently doing something wrong. I’ve taken and followed all of the advice my friends and my parents have given me about dating, but it hasn’t quite worked out for me yet.

I have trouble with reading cues and I can never tell if girls like me sexually. If you’re having an intimate friendly conversation and a woman is smiling and you’re making her laugh, then you think that maybe it’s possible to take it to the next level. But, typically, the day after that kind of thing would happen with a girl, I wouldn’t hear back from her.

It goes on and on. Hmm, okay, perhaps Bradlee should first try skipping the prostitute story, and also, actually, any story where Sally Quinn completely freaks out. He might also pare down the six excrutiating paragraghs detailing why, specifically, women have never liked him down to, I don't know, zero.

Or maybe I'm wrong: Maybe the "my mom's crazy, I fucked a prostitute, women don't understand me" tactic has worked out: Bradlee's Web site says he's currently in a relationship.

  • ann cannon

    Your post here made me completely happy. Loved your analysis. Carry on.

  • Conrad Davis

    I think a lot of people read his story and roll their eyes. He didn't realize he was in a brothel until the sex worker removed her clothes? He told his mom and she freaked out? What a moron!

    I think it gets less easy to condemn him when we understand that he has a disability that may have profound impacts on his social behavior and his cognition. I don't know how many of these factors his disability presents with:

    But some combination of Ultrarapid cycling mood disorder, severe hypernasality, IQ between 60 and 80, delays in language, or deficits in concrete thinking and executive brain functions might explain why he had such difficulty with social behavior. Add the fact that he was segregated from women at the private special education school he was placed at, denying him a chance to develop the background knowledge of those specific social behaviors.

    Clearly the guy can write coherently, and I don't believe that he has a severe cognitive deficit. That doesn't rule out a severe deficit in socialization or adaptive behavior. Is making fun of those social delays or deficits different than making fun of the speech patterns of someone with down's syndrome, or making fun of the reading skills of someone with dyslexia?

  • Eric

    Oh my god, I'm totally still laughing.

  • Eric

    I kill me.

  • Not Amused

    "I think it gets less easy to condemn him when we understand that he has a disability that may have profound impacts on his social behavior and his cognition."

    If that's true, why is he presenting himself as a fully functional? Also, his problems stem from his genetic disorder. Not all people with learning disabilities act like he does.

    This story is gross.

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  • andrew

    Perhaps he should just go to JRs in Dupont.

    PLEASE--it's 2009

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