The Sexist

Note to Inaugural Marching Band: No Hands in Pockets

Last night at the People's Inaugural LGBT Gayla, I spoke with Lori Sirtosky, an Indiana woman will be marching tomorrow in the inaugural parade with the Lesbian and Gay Band Association. Sirtosky, who was dressed to the nines to celebrate the occasion at last night's Historical Society event, said that tomorrow's celebrations will be all business.

In preperation for playing the clarinet in tomorrow's parade, Sirtosky said she underwent an extensive "Secret Service background check" and was provided with specialized credentials. While marching, Sirtosky says she was given a host of very specifica instructions to follow on the parade route—including to "never put our hands in our pockets," she says.

"Even if a reed breaks, we can't put our hands in our pockets to grab an extra," she told me. "Even if we have an asthma attack, we can't put our hands in our pockets to get our inhaler." Waving in the air to signal an emergency is also off-limits. In the case that something goes wrong, band members are told to remove themselves from the parade route and approach an official on the side.

Besides being part of the "exciting historic event," Sirtosky says she'll benefit from one high-security precaution—she and her bandmantes will be escorted by the military down to the parade route, so unlike eager lookers-on who will begin to file in much earlier in the morning, she'll get to show up as late as 7 a.m.

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