The Sexist

MTV Transgender Profile Leaves You Hanging!

Attention, lame 90's enthusiasts! Tonight, everyone's favorite low-concept MTV reality show returns with the debut of The Real World: Brooklyn! In this edition of the true story of eight strangers picked to live in a house, work together and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real, one of those strangers is a transgender lady!

MTV has wasted no time milking the "surprise!" factor of its first transgender cast member through employment of cliffhanger ellipses . . . that attempt to make these twenty-somethings more interesting than they actually are! Check out the Web sites's profile treatment of "Katelynn":

Katelynn is a native of West Palm Beach, Fla., where she was raised by a religious Italian family. Her strong desire to be a mother stems from her close-knit relationship with her own mom, but this goal always seemed like a fantasy since Katelynn was . . . Read More.

Nice jump treatment, MTV! So, tell us—what was Katelynn?

. . . born male.

Arrrr-oooooga! That cliffhanger transgender ending got me wondering how the other cast members' after-the-jump doozies measured up. Let's delve too deeply into their personal lives, shall we?

Cast Member: "Baya"

Cliffhanger: "Twenty-one-year-old Baya's personality blends her passion for hip-hop culture and laid-back hippie vibe. Despite her outgoing and positive personality and her ability to quickly make friends, she has continually felt like a fish out of water growing up . . .

. . . in the predominately Mormon culture of Salt Lake City, Utah."

What They Should Have Revealed: . . . while mysteriously growing younger and younger in a reverse-aging epic that screams, "Oscar!'

Cast Member: "Chet"

Cliffhanger: "Don't let his look fool you: Chet is not your typical punk rock party boy. Despite his tight jeans and affinity for neon clothing, this 23-year-old University of Utah frat boy is one of 10 children in a strict Mormon family. Recently single, Chet's . . .

. . . flamboyant style and energetic personality always makes him the life of the party."

What They Should Have Revealed: . . . flamboyant style and energetic personality always makes him the life of the party . . . or does it?

Cast Member: "Devyn"

Cliffhanger: A winner of Miss Missouri Teen and Miss America Teen pageants, this beauty queen is the epitome of a girlie-girl. Devyn may be easy on the eyes, but she's tough on anyone who stands in her way. The 20-year-old Missouri native lives for the limelight . . .

. . . whether it's center stage or at the center of the club.

What they should have revealed: . . . fucking, duh.

Cast Member: "JD"

Cliffhanger: Life wasn't always smooth sailing for 22-year-old JD, who was raised by an abusive father unsupportive of his son's homosexuality. When JD's godmother took him to Sea World at age five, he vowed that one day he would become a dolphin trainer. He . . .

. . . graduated from the University of Miami, with a degree in marine biology, and at the ripe age of 18 became one of the youngest dolphin trainers in the world.

What they should have revealed: Augh, it's right there! How could you not use "he vowed that one day he would become . . . a dophin trainer"?

Cast Member: "Ryan"

Cliffhanger: A small-town Pennsylvania boy with a laid-back personality, Ryan has had his share of action. After enlisting in the army at the age of 17, he served in Iraq and got an eyeful. Now 23, he has returned from his duty with a newfound appreciation for life . . .

. . . and a better perspective on the world around him.

What they should have revealed: . . . an appreciation marred only by a crippling post-traumatic stress disorder that inspires fear and hatred of all strangers that cross his path.

Cast Member: "Sarah"

Cliffhanger: "From San Francisco, Sarah may look like another tattooed punk but under her ink is a passionate woman with an intense past. Rising from a traumatic upbringing where she was the victim of sexual abuse, the 22-year-old has dedicated herself to educating . . .

. . . and advocating for sexually abused men and women."

What they should have revealed. Really? With "She has recently met and fell in love with her boyfriend after being set up by her mother. Until now, all of Sarah's relationships have been with women" following fast on the heels of that snoozer, you have to wonder why MTV wouldn't fully exploit the gay-turned-straight angle as it did the transgender one.

Cast Member: "Scott"

Cliffhanger: "Often perceived to be a 'musclehead,' it is hard to believe that this muscular personal trainer used to be a 90-pound weakling. Still, Scott has more to show off than his award-winning abs. Raised in a broken home in Massachusetts, he started a thriving . . .

. . . DJ business that made bank spinning beats for sweet 16 parties."

What they should have revealed: Actually, I think it's great that that's the best revelation they could nail down for "Scott."

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