What the Fuck, Eurythmics Synth Master Dave Stewart?

You know what I like to think about when I masturbate? Former Eurythmics psych-synth mastermind Dave Stewart and his fade-tinted indoor sunglasses. Luckily, Dave Stewart has chosen to promote a new single you otherwise would never have heard of, much less actually hear, “Let’s Do it Again,” through custom-made Dave Stewart vibrators. They run from $195-$2,000. Well, I’m sold, but just curious—what do I get with a $2,000 Dave Stewart vibrator?

The base of the vibrator is encircled with a stunning “eternity” band of 28 round-cut black diamonds, the perfect accompaniment to the handwritten chorus from Dave Stewart’s song.The ultimate backstage pass, the vibrator comes with a leather cord threaded through the cap so it can be worn around the neck and taken out on the town. Also on the strap is a custom guitar pick—just in case a serenade or a solo is in order

“Eternity,” coincidentally, is how long I will be haunted by the vision of former Eurythmics psych-synth mastermind Dave Stewart and his fade-tinted indoor sunglasses invading my private bedroom space. Stewart’s website says that the vibrator, made in concert with sex toy producer Jimmyjane, “comes on the heels of his launch of Rock Fabulous, a concept brand that embraces the empowerment and attitude of rock and roll” and that vibrator enthusiasts should think of Stewart’s lyrical inscription “as a semi-lucid love note, scrawled around the circumference of the vibrator.”

Knowing that this vibrator is clearly meant to be an extension of Dave Stewart’s rock God dick poses more questions than answers. How much does it cost to actually have sex with Dave Stewart, anyway? Probably a lot less than that, right? Do you think that when Dave Stewart has sex with a woman, he throws in one of those babies as a souvenir?

Image via DaveStewart.com

Tags: dave stewart, Eurythmics, the recession, vibrators