The Sexist

Inauguration Date Round-Up: Sex, Couches, and French Cuisine

As the inauguration nears, Craigslist has been a-flutter with the romantic overtures of dudes looking for inauguration ball arm-candy and other dudes looking for inauguration week couch-surfing-with-benefits. Your best bets:

* This man-seeking-man inauguration ticket offerer has a range of interests, including "hiking, backpacking, mountain biking, snowboarding, reading, writing, cooking, dining out, watching movies, dancing, exploring the city and good conversation." Could you be his other interest? "I tend to like younger, or at least youthful, intelligent, energetic, interesting, skinny/lean guys who look at the world differently," he writes. Interested parties could get more than just a dance: "I'm also well-endowed and pretty damn good in bed."

* A recent widow based in Old Town Alexandria is hungry for French cuisine—and historic dancing. "I'm thinking about meeting at the nice French Restaurant La Gaulois in Old Towne, one of my favorite places. Wine, dinner, dessert on me," he writes. "I also have passes to inaugural balls—we can talk about—if that is something you would be interested in accompanying me to." For those with discerning dinner date standards, this Virginian comes highly recommended. He is a "very nice man, no children, upscale professional, nice house in Old Towne, former military leadership position, great job with job security, 6'3'', well cultured and well traveled."

* This inauguration invite is strictly local—this ticket-holder seeks "an attractive woman who would like to go with me to the ball and maybe even the inauguration itself"—as long as she keeps it in the neighborhood. "Please live in DC near GW (like FB, Dupont, Georgetown, Logan, etc)," he writes. "I have heard that traffic is going to be horrible and don't feel like getting stood up because some bridge is closed."

* This 48-year-old inauguration week visitor seeks three days of "clean and bug free" housing for "sleeping and rejuvenating for the next day." Interested renters net $150—and perhaps "a little fun."

"One of my goals will be to pass out business cards foldable but I am trying to create. www.stopthemurders.org your picture gets mine," he writes, adding: "I am 420 friendly but cannot participate."

* This 56-year-old unemployed Philadelphian "will pay $25.00 to you, for the privilege of sleeping on your sofa for one night, Inauguration Eve." The remainder of the post bears repeating:

I will provide my own food, probably take out.

All I require is a sofa, some blankets, and a sink for shaving, brushing teeth, and washing up.

I am quiet, will not disturb your routine. I will read or watch tv with you.

I will be gone first thing in the morning and will not need to return to your home after that.

Having said that, I am not crazy about long distance relationships. but I can return the favor if you travel to Philly and perhaps a friendship could develop.

Any race, any age, any religion.

If required, I can provide a photo ID (uploaded to email) in advance of completing the arrangement.

Thanks.

Photo by soundfromwayout.

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