An Open Letter to Entertainment Weekly Re: Your Devaluation of the Film Work of James Spader
Dear Entertainment Weekly,
In your most recent issue, you published a list of the “50 Sexiest Movies Ever.” By your estimation, the sexiest movie ever, Stephen Soderberg’s Out Of Sight, outranks the next Soderberg film on the list, sex, lies, and videotape, by 35 films. One of these films is Cruel Intentions.
As a longtime non-subscriber to Entertainment Weekly who sleeps on a mattress on the floor beneath a stunning portrait of James Spader in the 1985 vehicle Tuff Turf (also, strangely, omitted from your list), I am appalled. [S]ex, lies, and videotape is far sexier than Out of Sight for the following reasons: It (a) has “sex” in its very title, (b) stars James Spader, and (c) does not star Jennifer Lopez.
As you are clearly not familiar with the Spader canon, please admit this fan-edited promotional Internet video as evidence.
I await a correction in your next issue.
Sincerely,
Amanda Hess
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1:41 pm
Tuff Turf over Secretary? Your Spader worship is not up to par.
1:51 pm
Who dare challenge me?
12:23 pm
Haven’t you seen my movie “Stargate?” Spader fired laser blasts from a phallic-looking Egyptian staff. Also, Kurt Russell. Woof.
12:31 pm
“I smell like a yak!”
3:32 pm
I’m not much for ranking things, but even my hetero male loins know the power of Spader.