Man Madness: D.C. Council Vs. Department of Corrections
Yesterday, a commenter on this contest expressed dismay that I did not adequately explain the terms and conditions of the Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament. And for that I am sorry. The Manliest Workplace in D.C. Tournament, (known colloquially simply as "Man Madness"), is a project committed to finding the workplace in D.C. that employs the most men in the highest positions. Over the course of the contest, 64 D.C. workplaces will be investigated and ranked according to their relative manliness. Though the contest seeks out male employees, it is, in truth, a tongue-in-cheek attempt to shed light on the low number of women working in powerful, high-paying jobs in the District of Columbia. ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE?
D.C. COUNCIL: Finishing up the D.C. government bracket today are two fine contenders: the D.C. Council and the Department of Corrections. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the members of our D.C. Council, so council members will be ranked based on membership as it stands today—not based on this month's election results. Follwoing ranking council members, members are listed in order of years served, and then, simply, in numerical order by ward.
Chairman Vincent Gray (Male, 10 points)
Chair Pro Tempore Jack Evans (Male, 9 points)
Mayor for Life Marion Barry (Male, 8 points)
At-Large Carol Schwartz (Female, ZERO)
At-Large David Catania (Male, 6 points)
At-Large Phil Mendelson (Male, 5 points)
Ward One Jim Graham (Male, 4 points)
At-Large Kwame Brown (Male, 3 points)
Ward 3 Mary Cheh (Female, ZERO)
Ward 4 Muriel Bowser (Female, ZERO)
With 45 out of 55 manly points, the D.C. Council registers a pretty manly 81 percent on the manly index. But will that be enough to put away the Department of Corrections? Find out below!
DEPARTMENT OF CORRECTIONS: After the DOC's director and deputy director, I was hard pressed to find any other ranked employees at the Department. And yet, I suspected there were more. So in the interest of arbitrarily ranking eight more employee genders and titles, I turned to my most trusted Department of Corrections source—the October 2008 staff newsletter. Behold:
Director Devon Brown (Male, 10 points)
Deputy Director Patricia Britton (Female, ZERO)
Special Management Unit Cmmndr. Captain Walter L. Coley (Male, 8 points)
Legal Instrument Examiner George Frye (Male, 7 points)
Office Automation Assistant Teresa Capers (Female, ZERO)
Staff Entrance Sergeant Pamela Harris (Female, ZERO)
Deputy Warden for Programs Brenda Ward (Female, ZERO)
Armory Lieutenant Keith Pirog (Male, 3 points)
Correctional Officer Darlene Bryant (Female, ZERO)
DOC Newsletter Writer Anthony D. Diallo (Male, 1 point)
Felony manslaughter! With 29 points out of a possible 55, the Department of Corrections suffers from the arbitrary clause of the contest to come away with only a 52.7 percent manliness. Tune in next week when we recap the Manliest Workplace tournament at the halfway point and dive into the four other industries in the contest—law, union, academia, and advocacy.