Man Madness: Smithsonian Institution Vs. National Symphony Orchestra
The Manliest Workplace in D.C. competition continues. This week: Culture! Yesterday, the Founding Church of Scientology beat out the Washington National Cathedral to make it to the macho second round of the contest; earlier, the Washington Redskins handily swiped away the National Museum of Women in the Arts. Will the Smithsonian Institution or the National Symphony Orchestra go on to compete to be the manliest cultural institution in D.C.? Read on.
THE SMITHSONIAN INSTITUTION: The National Women’s History Museum thinks the Smithsonian doesn’t have enough exhibits that cater to the ladyfolk of eras past. But does this Mall-gobbling institution have the man goods where it counts? Let’s find out:
Secretary G. Wayne Clough (Male, 10 points)
Acting Under Secretary for Science Charles Alcock (Male, 9 points)
Acting Under Secretary for History, Art and Culture Richard Kurin (Male, 8 points)
Acting Under Secretary for Finance and Administration Alison McNally (Female, ZERO)
President, Smithsonian Enterprises Tom Ott (Male, 6 points)
Chief of Staff, Office of the Regents John K. Lapiana (Male, 5 points)
Chief Financial Officer Alice C. Maroni (Female, ZERO)
Director, External Affairs Virginia B. Clark (Female, ZERO)
Director, Communications and Public Affairs Evelyn S. Lieberman (Female, ZERO)
Director, Office of Equal Employment and Minority Affairs Era L. Marshall (Female, ZERO)
Founding fathers be damned! With only 38 out of 55 points on the manly index, the Smithsonian Institution registers a mere 69 percent manliness. Sexy Greek God George Washington would’ve smote you for this, Smith.
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NATIONAL SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA: There’s nothing manlier than a group of dudes tootin’ on wind instruments. Or is there?
Executive Director Rita Shapiro (Female, ZERO)
Conductor Ivan Fischer (Male, 9 points)
Chairman Mrs. Ann D. Jordan (Female, ZERO)
Vice Chairman Mr. Roger Sant (Male, 7 points)
President Mr. William L. Walton (Male, 6 points)
Vice President of Community Development Mrs. Anthony Welters (Female, ZERO)
Woah, woah, woah. Hold on there just a second, “Mrs.” Anthony Welters. My natural “fishy” instinct prompted me to call up the National Symphony and inquire as to the gender of this Vice President of Community Development. A press contact informed me that Mrs. Anthony was actually Beatrice Welters. Anthony is her husband. Still, the chutzpah of listing her husband’s name instead of her own in the staff directory has inspired me to add on an additional 10 manly points to the NSO. Carry on:
Vice President of Development Ms. Melissa A. Moss (Female, ZERO)
Vice President, Marketing Mr. Carl H. Oppenheim (Male, 3 points)
Director of Artistic Planning Nigel Boon (Male, 2 points)
Orchestra Manager Cynthia Pickett Steele (Female, ZERO)
Ouch! Even with the added manpower of a Mrs. Anthony Welters, the National Symphony Orchestra just misses the Smithsonian’s man-count with a 37 out of 55 on the manly index.
Tune in tomorrow when we wrap up the culture bracket!
Photo by Brent and MariLynn.
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12:20 am
I find it funny that you included the NSO here and yet you list exactly ZERO musicians. If you want a list of exactly how many “dudes tootin’ on wind instruments” there are, try their website:
http://kennedycenter.com/nso/orchestra/meet_musicians/
There are approximately 60 manly men…ok, some not so manly, but men nonetheless, in the orchestra.
10:05 am
Musician,
You are right! I struggled with this with many workplaces—how to integrate creative jobs with the admin ones—but decided to go the administrative route because I found it too difficult to assign a hierarchy to the 60 manly men in the NSO. Which is why I’m forced to preface my satire with the note that it is highly arbitrary and suspiciously non-scientific. But I’m sure the orchestra itself is very, very manly.