Loose Lips

Introducing Mayoral Power Rankings

With less than three months to go before the Democratic mayoral primary, it's time to rank the hopefuls. This isn't a measure of who's most likely to win, since charting Vince Gray's march to re-election wouldn't be fun. Instead, it's a judge of who's got the best signs and who puts in the zings at the latest debate. Check Loose Lips every Friday until April Fool's Day for the latest Mayoral Power Rankings.

gray1. Mayor Vince Gray

What: Gray officially launched his campaign last week and apologized for his 2010 effort—and then got some good news in the form of top standing in a Washington Post poll (even with only 24 percent).

Why: He's the mayor.

Power Rankings Momentum: U.S. Attorney-dependent.

bowser

 

2. Ward 4 Councilmember Muriel Bowser

What: Bowser spent last week complaining that Gray was nowhere to be found.

Why: Bowser should be facing off with Gray. Instead, she's stuck at the kids' table.

Power Rankings Momentum: Stalled.

3. Ward 6 Councilmember Tommy Wells

wellsWhat: Wells worked on his Wobbly bonafides last week, insisting that the District's land swap for a D.C. United stadium should include affordable housing.

Why: Wells has failed to land a blow on Gray's ethics, mainly because the mayor is trying to not even share as much as a ZIP code with his challengers—which makes it tough to confront him.

Power Rankings Momentum: Falling.

evans4. Ward 2 Councilmember Jack Evans

What: Signs! Events! The Evans bank account marches on.

Why: Other candidates have finally joined the lamppost sign game, but Evans' remain the highest and the most ubiquitous.

Power Rankings Momentum: Rising.

shallal5. Busboys & Poets owner Andy Shallal

What: The rabble-rousing restarauteur teamed up with actor Danny Glover last weekend for a buddy cop movie/townhall. Bonus: He was also endorsed by gritty area novelist George Pelecanos!

Why: Shallal has Vincent Orange's populism without the ethical lapses, but he's still treasted like an also-ran.

Power Rankings Momentum: Rising.

orange6. At-Large Councilmember Vincent Orange

What: Orange endleded last week by saying he would interfere in the health inspection of a food business to save jobs. Which is exactly what earned him a slap on the knuckles from the board of ethics—and exactly what he promised not to do again afterward.

Why: Watching Orange campaign is like watching someone play an elaborate game of alien chess. Obviously, he's got a plan, but the moves don't make any sense.

Power Rankings Momentum: Rising.

lewis7. Reta Lewis

What: Ex-Clintonite Lewis remains an anthropomorphized Schoolhouse Rock episode.

Why: Which means she's long on civics and short on positions.

Power Rankings: Well, the thing about Reta Lewis is we have to come together as a community and work for solutions...

Honorable Mentions

Longest of longshots Christian Carter, for crashing the Northwest Current debate and nearly giving the moderator an aneurysm. And WUSA9's Bruce Johnson, who isn't running for mayor but whose soft style landed him Gray's pre-kickoff Oprah-esque apology interview.

Graphics by Carey Jordan, photos by Darrow Montgomery

  • SEis4ME

    lol@anthropomorphized

  • noodlez

    1. MAYOR GRAY POWER RANKING-RISING ABOVE SCRUTINY
    2. BOWSER POWER RANKING-FALLING FASTER THAN FLENTY 2010
    3. WELLS POWER RANKING-FALLING DOWN LIKE AN H ST NE DRUNK
    4. SHALLAL POWER RANKING-RISING UP LIKE NEW LOCATIONS
    5. EVANS POWER RANKING-STALLED AT LAMP POST
    6. ORANGE POWER RANKING-FALLING UP CAUSE HE CAN'T FALL DOWN
    ANY FURTHER
    7. LEWIS POWER RANKING-NO ONE TO SEE-SAW WITH
    8. CARTER POWER RANKING-SILLYMON BROWN PART DEUX-DEUX

  • Delta Sigma Theta Soror

    Muriel Bowser is the most uncaring person I've ever encourntered. She and her staff are unresponsive to most Ward 4 residents. However, her Legislative Director is goodlooking. With this being said, I'm not voting for Mureil Bowser. Muriel's lacking people skills and if she doesn't improve in this area, she will never become mayor.

  • GoldCoastKid

    first off. Noodlez is a idiot and obviously uneducated and he likes to YELL AT PEOPLE BECAUSE HE ALWAYS WRITES IN ALL CAPS like a clown. lets just make that clear.

    Second... don't count Muriel out..
    This piece is completely wrong. She's not only rising but shes about to overtake Gray.

    Ward 8 straw poll tomorrow. Watch how it plays out.
    A win for Muriel Bowser!!!! for sure

  • SEis4ME

    GoldCoast...stay in WARD 4 please.

    This piece didn't hafta count Muriel out. Her lack of name recognition and accomplishments and management of relevant sorts will cancel her out just fine.

    As for the straw poll? Oh ok, keep telling yourself that.

  • noodlez

    @GOLDIE-THE ONLY THING CLEAR IS YOUR COMMENT #4 SUCKS ASS JUST LIKE YOU SLURPY!

    IT BOGGLES MY MIND WHEN SOME FLENTY FLUNKIE JUMPS OUT THERE WITH OUT A PARACHUTE REACHING FOR A RIP CORD AND PULLING A THREAD HOPING IT WILL SUFFICE.

    CLOWN?? I'M NOT THE ONE PRETENDING TO BE SOMETHING I'M NOT BOZO!

    THE ONE CITY RE-UP COMING APRIL 2014.

  • Chris hauser

    It's a bowser evans gray race, and to be alphabetically fair, it's a gray evans bowser race.

    As to noodelz, the first amendment ensures the RIGHT TO ALL CAPS.

  • http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/citydesk/2009/12/02/fenty-names-new-interim-head-of-parks-and-rec/ marhaba

    At least Shallal knows how to pronounce the word "Ask."

  • dude

    what does endleded mean?

  • The Real

    I attended the Ward 8 Straw Poll. A large majority of residents' votes were not counted in the straw poll.

    Overall, Orange did the best at the Ward 8 Straw Poll to be honest.

    Bowser will have a huge uphill battle East of the River because she has not clout over there and everyone thinks that she is the product of the Fenty years.

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