Loose Lips

Updated: Six Ideas to Save Mendo

Update: Mendelson responds. Scroll down to see his response to our suggestions.

It's time for some straight talk for Councilmember Phil Mendelson, who a recent Post poll shows is about to lose his seat/political career/life because voters are too dumb to know the difference between Michael D. Brown and Michael A. Brown.

Mendo, you're fucked. You've got no chance to win unless you stop playing it safe, and start going crazy. It's an uphill battle making people smart, and you don't have the time. As a public service, LL and City Paper's Jason Cherkis and Lydia DePillis have some ideas for you.

You may not have time, but one thing you do have is money. D. Brown doesn't have any—or a website that we can find, or yard signs, or fliers that we've seen. All these things have worked in Michael D. Brown's favor; the less people see of him, the more votes he gets. Because they think he's Michael A. Brown.

Time to change that, Phil. Drop your campaign, and start campaigning for Michael D. Brown. Pretend you are now his campaign manager. Follow these steps, and you might wind up pulling it out:

1) Get a giant tattoo of Michael D. Brown on your back. Start walking around shirtless.

2) Call the D.C. Council back in session to declare Sept. 13 "Michael D. Brown Day." Also, organize a corresponding parade. Make sure there are lots of visuals involved. A float featuring a bust of Michael D. Brown couldn't hurt.

3) Get life-sized cutouts of Michael D. Brown, and put them at every polling place. Make sure his name is on them.

4) Hire about a dozen doughy white guys to impersonate Michael D. Brown; send them door-to-door.

5) Get City Paper's Darrow Montgomery to take Michael D. Brown's picture so we can use it on blog posts.

6) Go-Go for Michael D. Brown. (Hey, it's working for Adrian Fenty's campaign... Wait, what? Oh. Never mind.)

Update: Cherkis caught up with Mendelson and pitched our ideas. The councilmember was not impressed and said he wouldn't follow any of our suggestions.

"I can't believe you asked that" is how he responded to our tattoo suggestion.

Instead, Mendelson is following this path: "We have [a] voter alert card that's going to be mailed out. And we had a press conference this afternoon. And I have a mailing that and another mailing that will mention Michael Brown."

Good luck with that.

Photo by Darrow Montgomery

  • JM

    I really savor the irony here. Wards 5-8 are only supporting Michael D Brown because they think he's the black candidate (Michael A Brown). And instead they're going to elect another white Councilmember by accident. If we all didn't have to suffer the consequences, I'd about fall over laughing.

  • Michael Schaffer

    Dudes, you are forgetting the best tactic of all: Mendo should go negative... against the real Michael Brown! Michael D. Brown can't capitalize on Michael A. Brown's popularity if Michael A. Brown is no longer popular. This would be a really mean move, since Michael A. has endorsed Mendo and all. But hey, all's fair, right?

  • WARD4NDC

    I am voting for the white Michael Brown. I knew who the current Michael D. Brown running for the At-Large seat. I am seat of Mendelson and his bullshit liberal views on crime. It's time to give someone else a chance to be on the Council of the District of Columbia. Jim Graham, Jack Evans, David Catania, Muriel Bowser, and Tommy Wells need to be fired also.

  • jes’ sayin

    7) Put up signs east of the river urging voters to vote for Michael "Whitey" Brown, with his picture.

  • SEis4ME

    lol@JM, small amendment.

    "Wards 5-8 are only supporting MDBrown because they think he is MABrown. Instead they're going to elect another councilmember by accident."

    Do majority nonblack wards only support black councilmembers by accident? He is the at-large member of the Council, not Wards 5-8. I would hope that the people in those wards would know the councilmember running in their respective wards the same as those in Wards 1-4.

    In 2006, Mendelson's numbers were highest in Wards 7, 8 and ran relatively even in 1-6. So in reality, what's going to happen is that they are replacing one white man with another.

  • SEis4ME

    I just thought about Irony, one thing that would definately help Mendelson in Ward 8 is.....Marion Barry.

    But Mendelson has been criticized for his chairmanship of the committee on public safety, especially east of the river. This is where Clark Ray has come in and whom I am considering support, although his support for Michelle Rhee keeps me at arm's length. A long arm.

  • DC Guy

    Given his response, I would actually prefer Foghorn Leghorn to Mendo. Bring on Brown!

  • LOL

    LOL at jes' sayin. That is so wrong. LOL!!

  • downtown rez

    Why would any sane person want to save Mendo?
    I'd rather have someone else temporarily in his seat if it means an honest person and non-pernicious person *cough Clark ray* could occupy it a few short years from now.
    After all, it seems this election will send the DC government to hell in a hand basket anyway, why not enjoy the ride?

  • Trulee Pist

    At-Large Candidate Forums, non-stop, 24/7, until September 14.

    Why not? The other two citywide races are done deals.

  • John

    @Ward4ndc: I'm trying to see some consistency in your list of candidates you want out. I mean, Bowser you've consistently called Fenty's lapdog...so that tracks.

    But looking at your list otherwise, I just can't see a consistent differentiator. I mean, let's say you took a group photo of the Council and handed it around to various people and asked them "From your knowledge of these folks, what stands out about this group vs the whole?".

    Really, your base criterion for this subset of Council you feel should be thrown off just has me stumped.

  • WARD4NDC

    DC Guy, Fog Horn Leg Horn was one of my favorite cartoon characters. I suspect Fog Horn Leg Horn would be the better candidate. LOL

    To John, yes Jack Evans, Jim Graham, David Catania, and Tommy Wells need to go. What have they done for the all the citizenry? Jack Evans only cares about big business and helping his pocket get rich. Jim Graham and David Catania only gay mostly about the white male gay population, but they don't give a shit about black gays and lesbians or blacks in general. Tommy Wells is another liberal idiot on the Council. Also, David Catania need to attend a charm school because he's another arrogant nasty politician like King Fenty. One day they both will meet their match by being nasty to the wrong person and get a beat down. LOL LOL I would love to see this and to video tape it.

  • WARD4NDC

    To John: I am voting for the white Michael D. Brown because I rather give him a chance. Mendelson has had his chance and he blew it with his liberal policies address crime. Phil lives in all white Glover Park in Ward 3 and he don't have to deal with the violence others have to deal with daily in their neighborhoods. Ray Clark is another gay white male who would push the white gay male agenda. I not voting for another white gay male to be on the D.C. Council. Miss Graham and Miss Catania is enough for me.

  • WARD4NDC

    Long live the future At-Large D.C. Councilmember Michael D. Brown. I voted for him Monday, August 30, 2010 at the D.C. Board of Elections. Let's give this man a chance. Phil Mendelson had his chance and he blew it. I am tired of these career politicians like Charlie Rangel and others that has been in office for too long and have become complacent.

  • http://www.randomduck.com/ Rudi

    I don't always agree with Mendelson, but I applaud that he explains his votes in clear, concise terms - you can see that he actually applies consistent thought to his decision-making process, and he's a necessary check in a Council that has a lot of visionaries, for better (Wells, Cheh, Catania) and worse (Graham, K. Brown, Barry).

    Michael D. Brown is running on a platform of "working for statehood for the citizens of DC." And the DC Council has *nothing* within its power to advance that goal. Michael D. Brown is simply running to get his name in the press, and he's succeeded. It's a shame that many in DC (especially in wards 5, 7 and 8) don't pay enough attention to the government they elect and don't know the difference between the two Michael Browns.

    And if Mendelson loses, it's a great loss to the District. As I said, I'm not always in agreement with him, but his pragmatism is needed in the halls of the Wilson Building. He represents a rarity in modern politics: an intellectual who isn't easily swayed by what's popular, but rather practices a consistent and clear philosophy of governance.

    By the way, WARD4NDC, your race, class and sexuality baiting is tiresome and pathetic - much like the candidacy of Michael D. Brown. I appreciate the belly laughs your comments bring, though.

  • candycane1

    I'm sticking with Mendelson because of his voting record. I respect that he stood almost alone on certain issues that have affected many people. He said "no" to mayoral control, "no" to making employees at will because it destroys civil service and he fought hard as hell to get his colleagues to see that Peter Nickles was a creep. WE now know that mayoral control was a terrible mistake, at least with this mayor, many employees lost their jobs too close to retirement and got screwed and Peter Nickles? Well we know how that has turned out.

  • larry

    After consideration of the candidates I am going to vote for Mendelson. In my experience with him and his office his strengths outweigh his deficits. If he loses because of confusion over the name/id of another candidate it will be pathetic. I love my city, but sometimes it's like life on another planet around here. Jeez, next step Statehood!

  • WARD4NDC

    Rudi, I have my opinions and you have yours. I will not be voting for Mendelson. He's another liberal idiot on the Council and I will not be voting for any gay white males. Catania need to attend a charm school. He's a nasty little human being and don't know how to talk to people. I will be voting for Michael Brown in protest against Mendelson. All the City Council is liberal left wing Democrats. I don't care for Vincent Gray, but I voted for him to get King Fenty out of office.

    Native Washingtonian

  • WARD4NDC

    For the record Rudi, I am not a liberal and I don't support all the liberal BS the D.C. Council has supported and the gay marriage issue is one of them.

  • What Next

    Mendelson is just keeping his head above water and does not contribute enough to keep his council seat. He has not deliver any new and useful legislation in years and he aligns himself with the so called progressives which only benefit a few citizens. Clark Ray is a new energetic voice, give him a chance.

  • SEis4ME

    Ward4, you will be continuously disappointed with a DC Council and its position on gay marriage. DC will never have a council that does not support it. I don't know about gay politics in the city but I imagine that some would say that don't want to see another black councilmember because they'll only cater to blacks. I think your logic and my parallel are ridiculous. What have black gays NOT benefited from that white gays have?

    And lo and behold!!! I didn't even know Clark Ray was gay until now. It's not important to me though. So yeah, the dude is gay. But who really cares? As a voter, I care much more about his support of Rhee than his platform (which is rather in line with every politician's standard platform..blah..blah..blah)

    Oh and I'll put myself out there and say that I've voted for Mendelson in the past just because I recognized his name. I couldn't even tell you what the guy looked like until this pic. Yep, what a bad, ill-informed voter I am. Oh well, such is life.

  • http://ABF ABF

    Michael D. Brown is running on someone else's name so what does that tell you??? DC doesn't need another person on the council who doesn't have a clue...WE HAVE ENOUGH OF THEM!
    Phil Mendelson deserves to win, Michael d. bROWN SHOULD Be ashamed of hisself he won't knock on your door because then you will see who he is, he only goes to certain debates because he says those in wards 5,6,7 and 8 don't come so they will keep thinking he is the black Michael A. Brown.

    The white Michael D. Brown did this samething to Phil Pannell in the shadow race but "WHITE MIKE" hasn't done ANYTHING on the hill for DC residents either so why let his fat ass take up space on the council...DON'T VOTE FOR MICHAEL BROWN....WHITE OR BLACK!

  • Really?

    Ward4NDC...we agree on most things. Especially the breakdown on the several council folks you mentioned. I would like to add that Tommy is add nothing at all to the council.

    But, I can't vote for Brownie. He has run for every F'in office and doesn't have a clear platform. I feel like the citizens of D.C. will be like those in South Carolino and we will end up with an idiot on the dias.

  • John

    Ward4ndc & Really?: I'm still at a loss though. I keep looking at your preferred list and comparing to the overall members of the Council and not seeing a single theme or commonality here. Could you explain what the baseline criteria is? Just totally confused.

  • Flernty

    I love it. Mendelson, a two-faced liar who has cultivated the support of the ignorant citywide by being soft on crime and long on BS is going to lose big time because the same brain-dead segment of the electorate he panders to have no idea who they're voting for (as if they ever did).

    A fitting end to his career.

    From the safety of upper-upper NW Mendelson has done nothing but contribute negatively to public safety on the streets east of the park and in SE. When confronted about his lack of enthusiasm for law and order he responds in condescending platitudes and awkward blaming sessions ("it's lax MPD enforcement, no, no it's the judges, wait, it's 'cultural' and we can't do anything about it.")

    He steadfastly refuses to act in the best interests of the law abiding citizens of DC, men, women, and children.

    http://www.washingtonian.com/articles/people/8002.html

    Goodbye Mendelson, you insufferable cock, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

  • incredulous 2

    Mendo's gonna send voters a picture postcard, as memorable as the face of a real estate agent on one of thousands?

    No, the greater irony is that current CM Michael Brown got there off the name of his father, Ron Brown. That man taught Bill Clinton and the Democratic National Committe twenty years ago how to solicit and thrive on money the way Clinton already had a nose for and lived on pussy.

    Let's see if Mendo spends $, or just uses volunteers to post every polling place with a photo of the contesting Brown opponent. If black voters still want to give a white man credit for using a black man's name, there's not much to be done about it, except watch the greater Brown, Michael A, try to distinguish himself from Kwame and Michael D. Oh, yeah, Kwame's the Brown with the gavel, the city-paidstaff, the extra $200k in income to give to credit card companies charging 29.99% over the next 4 years, and the string of extortionists to hand contracts to..

    And let's see how often this name-recognition stunt can be pulled off elsewhere in the US. Yeah, Brown can do a lot for himself. It's a race with the other running Brown, Kwame, for greater idiot.

  • Jman

    Can't we find someone sensible named "Marian Berry"?

  • funny

    The way this election is going we will have an at large council member that is a Ghost, a Ward 3 councilmember that is Republican, a new mayor that is very old and a new head of the council that is at the mall.

    Go Saturday Night Life!

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