A miniseries in which we examine the Mystery of the Vacant Condo.

The property: 738 Longfellow St. NW #108

The price: One-bedroom condos from $179,000; two-bedroom condos from $199,000

The leasing agent: Eugene Gallagher, Gallagher & Co. Real Estate Inc.

Listed since: February 6, 2008

The story: Of the 66 units listed since February of 2008, 12 remain vacant. “We were moving these very nicely and rapidly until the climate of the finance market changed,” Gallagher observes, noting as well that a stricter screening process for potential buyers and the fluctuating availability of HPAP money have proved impediments.

Second Opinion: City Lights editor Mike Riggs, who lives a block from the property, expresses reservations about the neighborhood. “I’m not surprised they can’t sell it,” Riggs says. “MPD had an enormous, generator-powered spotlight right at the corner of 7th and Longfellow. Who wants to pay to go through a police checkpoint every three months?”

Sweetening the pot: Potential 738ers have a couple new incentives these days: the builder is paying 3% of the closing costs; Gallagher is throwing in a storage unit and paying a year’s condo fee (roughly $200 per month, depending on the size of the condo).

The silver lining: Gallagher reports that unit 308 was sold only yesterday. “Adjusting” the price by about $10,000 didn’t hurt.

“I think people are unaware that this location is so convenient—to transportation, to downtown, to Silver Spring, to Columbia Heights,” Gallagher says. The same unit in Columbia Heights goes for $100,000 more and it’s less than a mile and a half away.”

Joseph has been trying to secure the rent from Karina Okoro, who occupies a one-bedroom unit in Joseph’s 23-unit Petworth apartment building, since November of last year. At one point, marshals arrived at the complex ready to evict Okoro, who asked for an hour to get Joseph his money. When he came to collect, she was gone.

At her court date in front of Judge Joan Zeldon this morning, Okoro again proved a no-show. During the course of the proceedings, it was suggested that Okoro may be in a more relaxed state than her anxious landlord—she was spending some time in Florida.

Zeldon, unable to make long-distance phone calls from the court’s land line, asked to borrow Joseph’s cell phone in order to give Okoro a little tinkle. Later, Zeldon realized that despite Okoro’s exotic locale, the number was kosher to call from court.

But Okoro failed to make a long-distance appearance as well. “Tell her this is Judge Zeldon calling from the bench,” Zeldon said to whoever was screening Okoro’s calls. She had a message regarding the landlord. “It looks like she’s just stonewalling him, and I just really can’t permit that to happen.”

Reporting by Ruth Samuelson

As someone who writes on the Internet all day for a living, you’d think I’d just suck it up and spring for the wireless. Hell, you’d think my employer would suck it up and spring for the wireless. But you would be underestimating my laziness, cheapness, and hubris—not to mention the whole bankruptcy thing.

I used to be like you. I had my own ten-character password consisting of numbers, letters, and symbols. I could stream entire episodes of Lost without interruption. I paid for the Internet. But a few months ago, one of my house-mates moved out and, in a bizarre act of vindication—long story—took our shared wireless router with her. My housemates and I are still “thinking about getting wireless.” In the meantime, I’ve been living on the edge, searching for rogue, unprotected wireless connections that lurk just within my windows.

Join me.

* Survey the landscape. Boot up your laptop. (If you don’t have a laptop, buy a laptop and boot it up). Take a look at your neighbor’s Internet connection names that pop up in your wireless menu. Begin speculating as to which neighbor chose the name “fuzznuggets.” Take note of the names that aren’t password-protected, and prepare to both cherish and resent them, depending on their signal strength. “Linksys,” baby, if you’re reading this, I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.

* Maneuver. Make sure your laptop is good and charged, and then stalk through every floor and room of your house, holding the computer open and checking signal strength every couple of steps. Check out the front and back yards, too—you might be putting in some overtime on the stoop this summer. Take care to scope out the wireless scene near walls and windows, but don’t discount the idea that there may be some pockets of signal strength in the interior. If you find a good spot and then lose the connection, moving or rotating the machine a couple inches can sometimes work wonders.

* Rearrange your furniture to fit the hot spots. In my living arrangement, the desk is pushed all the way to the back of the house for a reason. Our other workspace (okay, my bed) is pushed all the way to the front. Downstairs, you’ll often find a stray living-room chair cozied up next to the trash near the back door of the kitchen—it may not be the loveliest space in the house, but it’s the sweetest spot we’ve got.

* Prepare to brew some conspiracy theories. I am firm in my belief that the nearly-transluscent bedroom curtain that hangs between my laptop and the open window causes airspace interference, and must be tied back for optimal connection speeds. My boyfriend, who finds this preposterous, believes that the couple squatting in the abandoned row-house next door lack electricity, but still shell out the cash for their own wireless signal. Alas, it is password-protected.

* Don’t try to watch videos. It’s not worth it.

* Don’t panic. A couple months ago, there were a few days where we thought our main source of poached Internet would be lost to us forever. This particular access-point is kind of like the neighborhood bicycle of Internet connections—we can get it in the front of the house, in the back of the house, on the first floor and on the third. The connection didn’t suddenly decide to require a password to access it—it just disappeared. For days. It eventually came back, but there was an upside to it leaving us unconnected for a time—we were forced to find another unprotected connection that we’ve been hooking up with ever since.

* Look on the bright side. On days when the rogue Internet connections just aren’t coming your way, take it as an opportunity to leave your work—and useless online procrastination—in the office. Also, take a step back and realize that you’ve begun bestowing your neighbors’ Internet connections with pet names. (”Here, neener neener!”) Sometimes, it’s good to take a break.

* Know the risks. The FCC defers to local law-enforcement on this one. On the local level, unauthorized use of another’s wireless network is usually only prosecuted when a crime is committed—if you use the network to download illegal pornography, say, or to send out spam.

* Never tell your neighbors that you do this.

* Give back to the community. When you get your own Internet connection, you can always leave it unprotected in an act of solidarity. For a more secure option, you can also give a donation to Open Park, a local non-profit committed to providing free public Internet in hotspots around the Washington, D.C. area. Some open wireless networks are meant to be that way—find one near you.

Photo by altemark.

(1) What’s the Skinny?

(2)14th and T: Room & Board Deal Falls Apart

(3)U Got Sales?

(4)Best of D.C.: Accepting Nominations for ‘Best New Condo Building’

(5)Best of D.C.: Accepting Nominations for ‘Best Building Amenities’

(6)Lots of Price Drops in Shaw, Not So Many in Cleveland Park

(7)Where Should Rahm Emanuel Live?

(8)Your Spite House Roundup

Vornado Realty Trust, the biggest owner of office properties in D.C. and New York, lost more than $200 million last quarter as it wrote down the value of some assets.

Vornado lost $216.8 million, or $1.40 per share, compared to net income of $90.9 million, or 57 cents per share in the same quarter a year ago. Revenue was $696.3 million, up 6 percent from a year earlier. Funds from operations, considered a better guide for real estate investment trust performance, was a negative $78 million, compared to a positive $193.4 million in the same quarter of 2007.

A few people have referred to the Skinny House as a modern day version of this tradition. I don’t think that’s quite the case. You could call the property a “Tough Luck Nimbys” House. But talking with builder Clarke Simpson, I never got the sense that he was erecting his home as a pure “screw-you” to the neighbors. Rather, he just wanted to make a buck off the land, as he always intended to do.

Nevertheless, perhaps the house will fit into local lore about other area Spite Houses. Here are some from the region and beyond.

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This Alexandria Spite House is situated close to the intersection of Queen Street and N. Asaph Street. “It’s called the Spite House by some because John Hollensbury, the owner of one of the adjacent houses, built it in 1830 to keep horse-drawn wagons and loiterers out of his alley,” according to a February 2008 New York Times article. The house is 7 feet wide, about 25 feet deep and 325 square feet in two stories, the same piece states.


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This 11-foot-wide Georgetown home (located at 1239 30th St. N.W.) may or may not be a Spite House. The Washington Post interviewed the homeowner a few years back. “[He] said he heard it was a spite house, ‘though [he'd] never been able to verify it.’”

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This home is located at 44 Hull Street in Boston. Legend has it the property’s builder “erected it to shut off air and light from the home of a hostile neighbor with whom he had a dispute,” according to the Boston Globe, which also reported: “At its widest point on Hull Street, the house spans 10.4 feet. In the rear, it tapers to 9.25 feet on the outside, while the interior rear walls are a mere 8.4 feet wide.”

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Another New England Spite House, this 308-square-foot Cambridge home is eight feet wide “at its fattest,” and “squeezes down to four feet in the rear,”according to the Boston Globe.

U Street’s Moderno is certainly new—But is it the best?

As I wrote earlier, our “Best of D.C.” issue is coming soon. On that note, let’s talk “Best New Condo Building.” We had a similar category—“Best-Designed Residential Development,” won by City Vista—last year in our Reader’s Poll. But nothing written by one of our writers. And nothing quite like what I’m proposing.

(At least, I don’t think so—last year’s issue was pretty sprawling. Hard to remember just exactly what we had in there.)

So who gets to be considered for “Best New Condo Building?” Any building with units on the market in the last year.

And what qualifies as “Best?” That’s the tricky question. Is the winning property the best designed? The best bang for your buck? The best in terms of convenience and quality of life? I would say all those things matter. The “Best” is rather intangible. You just choose something that fits.

I’ve heard a few suggestions already.

The Viya was mentioned for its “great layouts”;“The Ventura” for everything being “top of the line”; And lastly, the Axis Condos for their beautiful design elements.

At that time, I had good news to report: ”I guess they had some issues with their build out,” John Groth, Marketing Director for Donatelli Development, told me. But he had reassuring words: “I’ve been in there recently and talked to the construction guys and they’re very, very far along…I would be shocked if it wasn’t ready in terms of the build-out to be opened in the next couple of months.”

Well, things have taken a turn for the worst. Royal Blue is no longer—not that it ever was really.

The latest report from Groth (via e-mail): “Royal Blue, as a pure startup, wasn’t able to get all their funding together. The space is open to lease and at the moment we have two more veteran restaurants looking at the space. We hope to announce something soon.”

Prince of Petworth posted some other information about Columbia Heights’ openings/non-openings yesterday, as well.

So if the “Best of D.C.” advertisement in the corner hasn’t caught your eye. Or you didn’t spot the “Best of D.C.” ballot party invite covering the entire back page of newspaper. Well, then allow me to tell you: Our 2009 Best of D.C. issue is coming out soon—March 27 to be exact.

Unfortunately, our first round of deadlines is also just around the corner. I’m writing up some real estate/development-related categories for the newspaper. First one up: Best Building Amenities or “Why You Should Live in a Behemoth of a Building, Instead of a Nice Little Boutique Place” (because the best amenities usually are in the larger properties).

I got some suggestions (written below) already from a sales agent in D.C., but I’m still collecting nominations.

The Whitman, 910 M Street N.W.

Why: Fitness center, large rooftop terrace with grill, and outdoor lap pool.

City Vista, 1045 5th Street N.W.

Why: Huge Safeway and Results Gym within the complex, one-acre park inside building,”Oasis in the sky:” club room, outdoor pool, and outdoor terrace.

Other ideas people?

Image from City Vista website

This week’s “Skinny House” story has prompted some interesting comments on Housing Complex. But perhaps the most memorable line about the home and the builder landed on the Lyon Park listserv:

“My impression is that the house on Barton is the exact shape of Mickey Simpson’s middle finger.”

(1) What’s the Skinny?

(2) Donald Trump Buys 800-acre Golf Club in Sterling

(3) None Dare Call It Development

(4) U Got Sales?

(5) McMILLAN THEORY NO. 2: Developers Have “Plants” in the Audience.

(6) Vacant Property Auction Buyers Revealed!

(7) Vincent Abell Wants to Buy City-Owned Vacant Property

(8) New 800-Acre Virginia Golf Course Aside, Trump’s Got Problems

Image by Darrow Montgomery