Neighborhood Riff-Off
A scene from your local stayawayborhood, perhaps?
A few days ago, I wrote a blog post entitled “The New Gayborhoods?” The commentary was about a story I read in Metro Weekly highlighting three gay-friendly places in the D.C. area. Before I posted the headline, I decided to ask around about the word “gayborhood.” Totally innocuous and politically correct, right? Clearly, I decided it was fine. Actually, better than fine—an inspiration! The world needs more riffs on the word “neighborhood.” Sexist blogger Amanda Hess agrees. In fact, in the last 24 hours, she has proven herself to be passionately committed to neighborhood puns. Let the riff-off begin:
Samuelson:
A bad neighborhood: Stayawayborhood
Hess:
A neighborhood with lots of kids: Playborhood
Samuelson:
A neighborhood with many stucco homes: Clayborhood
A neighborhood with many dance clubs: Swayborhood
An artsy neighborhood: Paper-macheborhood
Oh baby, it’s on…
Hess:
A neighborhood with lots of swingers: Strayborhood
A neighborhood that gets written about a lot: Clicheborhood
A neighborhood that’s a mess: Disarrayborhood
Samuelson:
A very violent neighborhood: Slayborhood
A neighborhood with a lot of fat people: Buffetborhood
And, last but not least…
A neighborhood with lots of stables and horses: Naaaaay-borhood
Oh, oh, oh, Hess has one final follow-up: “Bombay-borhood—for one with a high Indian population.”
Photo by Monkeyc.net
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2:25 pm
A bummer of a neighborhood: dismay-borhood
Nabe with nice wooden floors: parquet-borhood
Nabe with nice fishmarket/steakhouse: fillet-borhood
Nabe that mysteriously disappears: away-borhood
Santa’s nabe: sleigh-borhood
Nabe full of self-conscious bald people: toupé-borhood
Very impressionistic nabe: Monet-borhood
Hyper-caffeinated nabe: café au lait-borhood
3:53 pm
hipster enclave: crochet-borhood
high elfin concentration: fey-borhood
Bob Barker haunt: spay-borhood
4:30 pm
Touché-borhood.
6:10 pm
Religious community: Prayborhood
Retirement village: Greyborhood
8:15 pm
Risque-borhood.
The opposite of:
Doris Day-borhood.
10:03 am
A neighborhood where they don’t use butter: Parkay-borhood
11:32 am
A neighborhood where you’d go to find a hooker: lay-borhood
A neighborhood where you’d go to buy crabs: Old-Bay-borhood
A neighborhood with fish markets: filet-borhood
Exclusive gated community with high association dues: pay-borhood
A neighborhood where when you tell people you live there they respond with comments like “Hmm” or “Oh, really?”: you-don’t-say-borhood
11:34 am
Sorry, Ted. I missed that you already suggested fillet-borhood.
2:18 pm
Jess,
No worries. I really like “you-don’t-say-borhood.”
2:25 pm
I want to live in an Old-Bay-borhood.
9:37 pm
Too far?
A neighborhood with a Trappist monastery (or a Belgian restaurant/bar): Chimay-borhood
Where the Von Trapp family and their neighbors live: chalet-borhood
Where you’d find a Smooth Operator but No Ordinary Love: Sade-borhood
3:08 pm
Not far enough, Jess:
Domestic terrorist enclave: McVeigh-borhood