Ran into Julianne on the sidewalk late yesterday — hey, I work in the neighborhood, so it happens — and between distracted comments about six other things, she told me that the Fringe box office has moved $60K worth of advance tickets as of COB Wednesday. That’s twice what they’d sold by the same time last year.

You’ve heard about The Button, right? The Button is new this year. Fear the Button.

The Button, in economic terms, is a transfer of wealth. Specifically, from you to a Fringe performer. The Button costs five bucks, or roughly 5/7ths of the cost of a warm domestic beer at Nationals Park. The money gets divvied up among all Fringe artists.

And The Button Is Required.
For Everyone.
At All Times.

Or Julianne Will Send Your Ass Home.

The basics: You must buy The Button. Even if you’ve bought tickets. Even if you’ve bought a pass. (Though one Button comes for free with some passes. You may still need another Button if you’re using a pack, though.)

Your ticket, it is no good without The Button.

More in the video.

Trouble viewing? Try the YouTube version.

Dear Lovely Fringe People:

Yes, Fringe is all about breaking down walls.

Yes, we stiff-necked media types welcome the opportunity Fringe offers us to escape our sad little cubicles and move among you, the creatively inspired.

Yes, we are delighted to meet you outside Fringe venues, to hear about your show, perhaps even to have a drink with you while discussing your tortured creative process.

But please — and I say “please,” but I mean “ferf*ck’ssakewhatwereyouthinking?” — do not feel the need to call our mobile phones, even if you’ve managed to track down our numbers, and leave voice mails pleading with us to come and see your Fringe productions.

You may be reasonably certain that such appeals will not have the desired effect.

No names will be named here. Unless, um, it happens again.

That is all.