Archive for October, 2010

Petula On Bethesda: You Might As Well Just Raise Your Kids In The Fucking Sudan

When a female journalist of any distinction has kids, she faces a wrenching decision: return to writing about whatever she spent the first decade or two of her career writing about, or start dribbling out the sort of solipsistic inanities about having kids and living in the suburbs that so reliably bring home the page […]

How David Brooks Scares Guilty Liberals With Math

Now that I've been here a month I have started to form a more nuanced understanding of what it means to identify as a "liberal" in this town and by extension I have gained a kind of David Brooks-ian insight into the phenomenon/"appeal" amongst this particular psychographic of David Brooks. Maybe they live in Bethesda, […]

As If The Post Editorial Board Hadn’t Given Us Enough Ammo This Lifetime…

It's the Washington ConsensusTM: a landslide 83% of 8,628+ respondents to an online Post poll agree that the Wizards should definitely re-re-brand themselves the Bullets. Clearly, much of this sentiment is rooted in the region's same self-destructive nineties nostalgia responsible for our current economic policy etc. But I also wonder if there isn't an element […]

5 Things David Axelrod Must Have Missed About The Foreclosure Thing

A lot of you are probably still wondering what to make of the latest spasm of foreclosure apoplexy that temporarily seized the memeosphere last week when Obama vetoed that two-page bill everyone else in D.C. so unanimously loved. Here is who is not wondering, though: the Washington Post! There is nothing in any section of […]

Today Only, The New Republic Almost As Cheap As Muslim Life

Happy Columbus Day fellow anti-colonialists, have you heard of this thing called Groupon? I hadn't until today, when I was alerted that it was offering members eye-poppingly low-priced $22 subscriptions to TNR, and I signed up right away before I realized "subscription" meant "an internet password." Oh well, I am still greatly satisfied to be […]

What That Pink Hill Mafia Story Didn’t Ask Or Tell About The Gays Of D.C.

Super fun Wash Post Style jet setter Jason Horowitz has a story about a gay e-mail list called the "Pink Mafia" today. At first I did not know what to make of it, because it contains very little of the sort of actual information you would normally expect a story about an e-mail list such […]

Establishment Elites Celebrate ‘Third World America’ At Massive Elitist Job Fair

Well isn't this charming: Arianna Huffington had a party at Tammy Haddad's with Geena Davis in honor of her new book about the country's degeneration into a Central Asia-style plutanarchic failed state and all anyone can talk about is which wonky young media corpse on the make should move in on Howard Kurtz's warm coffin: […]

In Defense Of Howard Kurtz

Here is the thing: I learned to mock Howard Kurtz in large part from Howard Kurtz. It was the nineties. The media was already irrelevant, but if you needed to reinvigorate your sense of contempt for it his 1,300-word "media notes" column was indisputably the most efficient method. Newt Gingrich abstained from taking a side […]

BREAKING: Two Celebrities I Actually Know Went On A Date!

Things I learned/pondered over the course of this shameless attempt to "add value" to TMZ's  exclusive report about Chelsea Handler's canoodleship and/or possible date with 50 Cent last night in New Orleans: 1. Not only does Chelsea Handler have a vodka sponsor, but… 2. She switched liquor allegiances, from Grey Goose to Belvedere, earlier this […]

What Does The Washington Post Have Against Hawaii?

Why yes it is available on DVD! In fiscal year 2010 Sen. Daniel Inouye sent $392,432.850 in earmark spending back to his state. This is a "story" according to the Washington Post, because writer Jason Horowitz managed to convince his bosses that all the frenzied coverage of our 49th state was really terribly unfair to […]