Tina Seamonster’s New Alastair Holiday Cards

Ever itch to say something to a loved one without really having to say it? This holiday season, take a load off and let Alastair the grumpy gnome do the dirty work! Tina Seamonster (of CB blogging fame) will be showcasing her deliciously endearing and cruel holiday cards at this month’s Crafty Bastards festival. Muhahahaaa … this way YOU can spend the rest of the holiday spreading good Christmas cheer!

1. Is there a specific product that you will be selling at the fair that you would like to talk about?

My new line of holiday cards! Alastair is a grumpy gnome and he wants you to be honest. Being honest during the holidays is even better than being honest on normal days. Making your friends and family cry because your honesty is borderline stressful is even better. Seriously, these cards are super cute and funny. They say stuff like, “All I want for Christmas… is for you to stop being a miserable drunk.” Or “For you to stop having sex with strangers that you meet on the internet.”

2. Does this product have an origin story? Did the idea come to you in a dream or through a portal or other strange way?

Alastair is who I wish I could be on Xmas morning. He does not pretend things are peachy. He wants to piss people off. He wants to tell people that they drink too much or worry too much or have sex with too many strangers. And with the help of my illustrator pal, Chris Piers, he came to life.

3. What famous personality (alive or dead, real or imagined) would most likely be found wearing/holding/admiring this product? Why?

I know for a fact that Ricky Gervais (British comedian, The Office) would give these out to everyone he knows. He might hand them out to people on the street, even. They are the perfect mixture of cringe, humor, mean and jolly, just like Mr. Gervais. My dream would be for Ricky to give one to Jack Black and they would both laugh. Or he could send them randomly to crap celebrities like Nicole Kidman or The Jonas Brothers or Madonna.

4. Convince me that this piece should be one of only 3 things I could take with me to a deserted island!

Hahaha. These cards would remind you that you loved your family even though they disappoint you. Not sure that helps on a deserted island. It also makes a cute bookmark if you take a book with you to the island.