My introduction to Taffety Punk’s awesomeness was their performance of Damaged Goods: The New Vaudeville at the Black Cat a couple of years back. The show was brilliant and funny and edgy; they call themselves “DC’s distorted classical theatre company” and they ain’t lyin’. Since then, I’ve kept in touch with founder Marcus Kyd [formerly of DC band Most Secret Method] trying to figure out a way to support the group/share their brilliance, and we’ve finally done it! The Taffety Punks will kick off the excellent entertainment in the Performance Pit at Crafty Bastards on September 28, hitting the stage at 10:30 am.

Explain your group’s name and how you formed.

Taffety Punk is from Shakespeare’s All’s Well That Ends Well and means a “well dressed whore.” Sounded like a good description of an actor to us.

What are your influences and worst equipment experiences?

We are all classically trained actors and dancers, and aging punk rockers, so the influences include everything from the Ramones to Pina Bausch.

During the Bootleg Cymbeline, we had a prepared dummie to represent the dead body of Cloten ready to go for an entrance. But the actors didn’t know which door the body was at. In a pinch someone collected clothes backstage and stuffed it with anything – paper, cardboard, other clothes – and brought in possible the worst looking dead body anyone’s ever seen.

What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

We started out at the Black Cat, and miss it terribly. We find ourselves at Jimmy T’s on the Hill a lot for meetings and such. Best stage has definitely been Round House’s Black Box Theatre in Silver Spring.

How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

Fantastic.

Where can the adoring public see you next?

We’re mid-run on an all-female production of Romeo and Juliet at the Capitol Hill Arts Workshop, 545 7th Street SE WDC 20003 (near Eastern Market Metro) Shows are 7:30 pm on September 19, 20, 22, 25, 26, 27, October 2, 3, 4 with Saturday Matinees at 3:00 pm on September 20, 27, and October 4. It’s only $10. This is an answer to the Shakespeare Theatre Company’s all-male version. Ours is an hour shorter, a fraction of the cost, and has 100% more women. We will totally crush them! For tickets call 202-261-6612, or email tix@taffetypunk.com.

Rock-n-Romp, the coolest kid-friendly rock show series in town, will bring an excellent local band to the stage at Crafty Bastards for the third time! Bring the little guys out to enjoy the music and fun! This year the awesome band who dares to rock out in front of toddlers is FEVER! In the Performance Pit at Crafty Bastards on September 28 from 11:30 am to 12:20 pm!

Explain your band/stage name and define your sound.

FFFEVER. Sounds like your favorite weirdo dream world with the alarm clock creeping in. Smells the exact same.

What are your influences and worst equipment experiences?

Haha, huh? Not sure how you grouped these two into one…Our influences are kind of all over the map, we appreciate good songcraft. But between the three of us, we like listening to The Zombies, ELO, Super Furry Animals, The Beatles, The Beach Boys, The Kinks, Queen, Grandaddy, Steely Dan, No Age, Sparks, Animal Collective, Genesis, Grizzly Bear, Husker Du, King Tubby, Neil Young, The Walkmen…Elvis.

Worst equipment experiences? Aaron ripped through his snare on the first song at a show last week, that was kind of awesome though. I guess bad equipment keeps you on your toes and forces you to innovate. Once a mic broke so we shared a mic the whole show like Zach Attack and that turned out to be one of the most fun shows to date. Alex breaks about 3 guitar strings per practice and 2 per show, so his club hands are definitely our biggest equipment problem.

What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

Velvet Lounge is an absolute pleasure every time. We like hanging out at the YMCA, or on the stoop of our apartment at 16th and U Street. Ryan Wakeman’s house is a fun place to hang out. Everyone should check it out, it’s near the intersection of Irving and Mt. Pleasant, there’s a party on his porch every night of the week! BYOB.

How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

Honored, excited, MacGuyverie, happy about sunshine. I don’t think we’ve ever played a show during the day. We practice a lot during daylight so it makes a lot of sense to do it. I’m positive we’ve never played before noon, so this will be new and fun. Plus we’re going to get to play for kids, usually we play for big old drunk kids. Time for some very honest reactions to our songs! They’d better dance or we’re walking.

Where can the adoring public see you next?

Saturday, October 18th at Rock and Roll Hotel with our pals U.S. Royalty and Bear Hands from NYC. We’re really pumped about this show. There are a few other shows in the mix (you can check www.myspace.com/fffever), but really those aren’t even worth mentioning, this is the one. Join us. First person to write “cruiser lifestyle” on our myspace page gets in free on the guest list.

Surely you’ve heard of Statehood? Even I’ve heard of Statehood, and I NEVER get to go to shows. Eh, such is the life of a mom… but I got lucky last Thursday night and saw their excellent set at the Black Cat. Wow. They are fantastic! Now I do not pretend to be a music critic so I’ll leave it at that, but judging by the crowd’s response to their awesomely energetic show, I know that lots of folks would agree. Check out their radness in the Performance Pit at Crafty Bastards September 28 from 12:40 pm to 1:20 pm!

Explain your band/stage name and define your sound.

Band name? We had this idea of Statehood for a name, so we sent it to Congress and it passed in a vote 241-177, but then it died in the Senate. But at that point we already had the CD out with the name on it. It’s just sitting in the Supreme Court now. Well, any press is good, right? The record, we’ve been told, sounds like DC on caffeine. The new songs have much more robot to them.

What are your influences and worst equipment experiences?

Influenced by just about everything. Early on in the band much of the music was sequenced in an MPC 4000, which could create some havoc at times. Since then we’ve learned to train other robots with greater success.

What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

Favorite local hangout is Joe’s basement because it’s where the magic happens, and we can always get a seat. Best stage is the Black Cat.

How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

We feel fine about it, thanks.

Where can the adoring public see you next?

We’re doing a short tour in early October, so if you have some comp time built up we can email you the routing. (We won’t have any more local shows til early next year)

If you like kung fu or any of the other kick-butt forms of martial arts, you won’t want to miss this group’s demo. Hyyaaaa! In the Performance Pit at Crafty Bastards September 28 from 1:35 pm to 2:25 pm!

Explain your group’s name and how you formed.

We are the Creative Forms Martial Arts group, and we represent DC-area Wushu and Extreme Martial Arts schools. We formed when we learned we would have the honor of showing off in front of Crafty fans!

What are your influences and worst equipment experiences?

Our influences include Bruce Lee, Jet Li, Michelle Yeoh, Mike Chat, Jackie Chan, Cynthia Rothrock, Robin Shou, CHUCK….ok…..so Chuck should’ve been listed first..

etc, etc..

What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

Hmm….anywhere with space, a floor (especially ones with foam), Daft Punk remixes playing, and an audience (for the showing off…ya know!)

How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

Hyyyped!

Where can the adoring public see you next?

Hollywood, baby.

So you’re definitely excited about checking out the 100+ totally rad vendors at Crafty Bastards THIS SUNDAY (yay!), but be sure to schedule your time so you can see the amazing performers we’ve got in the Performance Pit ALL day long! You’ll find set times below, and be sure to check back here all week long for Q & As with everyone.

10 am and between performers all day long Crafty Bastards MC Ken Vegas has been performing all over the world since 1996. He is also the founder of the DC Kings who were founded in 2000 and also the producer of the Great Big International Drag King show.

10 am and between performers all day long DJ Saggiatore plays rock top musics for sophisticated people… a disciple of the principles laid out at David Mancuso’s ‘the Loft’ with a sidelong glance back at Francis Grasso.

10:30 am – 11:20 am Check out the awesomeness of DC’s distorted classical theatre company, Taffety Punk Theatre Company.

11:30 am – 12:20 pm Rock-n-Romp, the awesome family friendly rock show series, showcases cool local music for parents and kids. This year we’ve got FEVER bringing the kid-friendly rock! With influences ranging from the deliberately trashy croon of T. Rex, the garagey roots rock of early Kinks, the dynamic shifts of ELO, and the energy of The Jam, FEVER ascribe to a timeless teenage sensibility, both in their musical content and boyish good looks.

12:40 pm – 1:20 pm Statehood! Rhythm section of the Dismemberment Plan, singer of the Motorcycle Wars and guitar from the Vehicle Birth drinking all of the coffee and making music. Full length CD “Lies and Rhetoric” is out now, 2nd CD coming in spring of 2009.

1:35 pm – 2:25 pm A wushu kung fu group from the Chinese Martial Arts Institute located in Fairfax, Virgina will be demonstrating a mixture of kung fu, sanda, taiji and qinna. They will be performing basic drills and jumps, internal and external forms, applications, and fighting sets.

2:30 pm – 5:30 pm B-Boy Battle! Alloutparty.com brings down the house with incredible vibes and insane moves at the 4th annual Crafty Bastards breakdance competition.

I think we did a fine job finding totally excellent performers to fill the schedule! There’s something for everyone, so be sure to time your visit right to see your top picks! At the front of the fair we’ve got the acoustic Welcome Mat Stage to draw you in, then the Main Stage in the back to keep the crowd in a festive mood. I really can’t wait to see and hear everyone…so much great music! Be sure to check back in the Crafty blog for Q&As with all the performers, too.

MAIN STAGE

10:30-11:15: DJ Ca$$idy
www.myspace.com/garutachi

Resident DJ and co-founder of Garutachi Events, DJ Ca$$idy spins a playful mix of indie dance selections.

11:30-12:15: Rock-n-Romp featuring We Were Pirates
www.rocknromp.com, www.pirateswerewe.com

Rock-n-Romp, the awesome kid-friendly indie rock concert series, hosts multi-instrumentalist Mike Boggs and his live band comprised of a rotating cast of friends, as We Were Pirates. Bring the kids to see them play and they can also get a moustache painted on, a cool tattoo and stop at the coloring station to create their own works of art! Moustache painting and coloring books sponsored by Spooky Daddy. Tattoos provided by Craft Mutiny.

12:30-1:15: The Beanstalk Library
www.thebeanstalklibrary.com

Sounds like The Beatles and The Band had a bratty baby in the polluted Atlantic Ocean that washed up on the Carolina coast and hitchhiked to Washington, DC.

1:30-2:15: Aligning Minds
www.aligning-minds.com

Aligning Minds is the unique collaboration of two producers using sound to achieve a mutual vision. Hypnotic breakbeats, infectious basslines, dubby soundscapes, and idm experimentation.

2:30-3:15: Head-Roc featuring the G.I.F.T.
www.head-roc.com

Head-Roc, The Official Mayor of DC Hip Hop, introducing new material – backed by The Godisheus International Funk Train aka The G.I.F.T.! A 21st century Funk, Rock, and Soul Band experience you won’t want to miss!

3:30-5:00pm: Rockabilly Rave Up featuring J.P. McDermott and Western Bop
www.westernbop.com

With soaring vocals, hard-rocking rockabilly, and a heartfelt way with a ballad, D.C. native J.P. McDermott is breathing fresh air into one of America’s great musical traditions.

WELCOME MAT

10:45 – 11:30 Friends of the Library
www.myspace.com/thefriendsofthelibrary

Friends of the Library are a female-fronted indie rock/pop band from the DC area. They hope you enjoy the show and the festival.

12:15 – 1:00 Arthur Harrison on Theremin
www.harrisoninstruments.com/

Arthur Harrison, a member of “The Cassettes,” specializes in the “theremin.” He’s performed extensively throughout the country providing the public with the unique experience of this seldom-seen instrument.

1:30 – 2:15 Montgomery Fox
www.myspace.com/theberbers

Montgomery Fox is a bombastic folk musician. He sings, shouts and blows (on his harp) original and otherwise tributes and criticisms to the world. He also does fun kiddie tunes…. now that he has a toddler.

2:45 – 3:30 Third Channel
www.myspace.com/thirdchannel

Jason Hutto, Samantha Spinney, a casio, delay pedal, tambourine, time, space, crafts.

4:00 – 4:45 Sweet Teeth
www.myspace.com/bearclawtx

Started by Chris DeWitt in 2005, Sweet Teeth began as a minimal folk outfit, and has since grown into its own more electrified sound.

Resident DJ and co-founder of Garutachi Events, DJ Ca$$idy spins a playful mix of indie dance selections. Check her out online at www.myspace.com/garutachi and getting the party started onthe Main Stage at Crafty Bastards June 28 at 10:30 am!

Explain your band/stage name and define your sound.

My stage name is simply my actual name with dollar signs replacing the S’s… Not to be confused with the rapper that shares the same stage name of course. My rapping skills are pretty atrocious, you don’t want to hear me rap, trust me. My sound can be described as a playful eclectic mix of indie dance music though I have my guilty pleasures and am not ashamed to throw Wham in my sets (You’ve been warned). Synths, vocals, and lots of bass are what you can expect. Not to mention love songs, lots of long songs, I’m a hopeless romantic, what can I say?

What are your influences and worst equipment experiences?

I’m influenced by music of all likes; The Knife, Serge Gainsbourg, Daft Punk, Leonard Cohen to name a few. In terms of DJs, I admire Diplo, 2manydjs and Busy P, all exceptionally gifted musicians. I started DJing mainly for myself as a form of self meditation and pretty much do it for fun. Not that I don’t take myself seriously as a DJ but I feel like once anything is taken too seriously in life it’s sucks the fun out of it.

The worst equipment experiences would have to be the instances when DJ monitors were not working, I shall not name venues. I’m a stickler for beat matching these days, I enjoy the mathematic component of it. There you have it, I’m a big nerd.

What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

I’m a bit biased in terms of local hangouts, a proud home owner in the Atlas District you can typically find me on H St at Rock and Roll Hotel and Sticky Rice. Anything walking distance is key. The best stage I’ve played and most memorable was the Raleigh Hotel Penthouse Rooftop in Miami for the Anthem Magazine party during this year’s Winter Music Conference. Oh Miami…

How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

I’m honored to be a Crafty Bastard and a part of such a uniquely wonderful event supporting all of the super talented budding artisans that our great city has to offer.

Where can the adoring public see you next?

Thanks for the shameless plug! You can find me 3rd Saturdays of each month at Garutachi, a dance event held at Rock and Roll Hotel and I’ll be a guest DJ along with Cale from BYT on July 4th at Sorted, a fantastic party thrown by DJ Stereofaith at the Black Cat.

Head-Roc, The Official Mayor of DC Hip Hop, introducing new material – backed by The Godisheus International Funk Train aka The G.I.F.T.! A 21st century Funk, Rock, and Soul Band experience you won’t want to miss! Check him out online at www.head-roc.com and on the Main Stage at Crafty Bastards June 28 at 2:30 pm!

Explain your band/stage name and define your sound.

What I will be debuting at the Crafty Bastards Artst and Crafts Fair is the merging of DC pocket rhythm icons Head-Roc (DC Hip-Hop) and M.V.P. (DC Soul/Go-Go/Rhythm and Blues) into a Chocolate City super sonic production now and forever known as: The Godisheus International Funk Train aka The G.I.F.T., or simply Godisheus (pronounced ‘Gotta-See-Us’). We are a Funk Rock and Soul band!

What are your influences and worst equipment experiences?

As The G.I.F.T. our influence is the dire need, urgency, and demand by People of Culture for great and inspiring music with a decidedly progressive purpose! As far as our worst equipment experience goes… we make it work!

What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

As it would happen, our favorite local hangout has yet to be determined! As a matter of fact, for any and all DMV live venue houses (and promoters) looking for the next big sound popping out of this region please reach out to us at: Godisheus@gmail.com. Stop dealing with those who leave you disappointed, and experience the anointed! We hungrily invite you to book and experience The G.I.F.T.! Special vegan chitlin’ circuit rates available!

How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

LOL! We’ve been Crafty Bastards so long some of us are now raising our own! LOL!

Where can the adoring public see you next?

We are looking and eager to hit! All area promoters are invited to come get a glimpse at the 21st Century return of content rich Funk Rock and Soul music for People of Culture! One love and Peace! We can’t wait to see you all funk it on up with us on the 28th @ 2:30pm!

Rock-n-Romp, the awesome kid-friendly indie rock concert series, hosts multi-instrumentalist Mike Boggs and his live band comprised of a rotating cast of friends, as We Were Pirates. Bring the kids to see them play and they can also get a moustache painted on, a cool tattoo and stop at the coloring station to create their own works of art! Moustache painting and coloring books sponsored by Spooky Daddy, Booth #58! Tattoos provided by Craft Mutiny, Booth#56! Get more info at www.rocknromp.com and www.pirateswerewe.com, and check out the kid-friendly set on the Main Stage at Crafty Bastards June 28 at 11:30 am!

- Explain your band/stage name:

I’m one of those guys who is pretty overly sentimental about my childhood and just being a kid in general. I was really into comic books and playing pretend and exploring in the woods and all that. My role model as a kid (and secretly as an adult) was Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes. For me, most of the fun of making music is kind of being able to re-connect with that time in my life when creativity was just a constant state of mind and not something that needed to be conjured up. “We Were Pirates” as a solo project is basically me doing just that: sitting in my bedroom by myself with my guitar and casio keyboard making up stories about people and trying to conjure up that state of mind. “We Were Pirates” is kind of an acknowledgement of how much fun it is to play make believe.

- Define your sound:

My music is pretty straight-forward indie-pop.

- What are your influences?

I’m pretty heavily influenced by minimalism in music. I love Yo La Tengo and American Analog Set and Built to Spill. I listened to a lot of Weezer and Beck as a kid and I think they definitely left their mark. Other than that The Pixies, The Kinks, The Flaming Lips… Basically, I’m just a sucker for good pop music.

- Worst equipment experiences?

I don’t want to jinx it, but up until now I haven’t had any really big equipment problems. All of my problems have been really lame and boring, like losing a capo on stage or a tambourine exploding during a song when I guess I was banging it around and shaking it a little too hard. I’ll let you know if I end up getting electrocuted by my amp or a piano falls on me or something a little more interesting.

- What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

I played a little bar in Nashville called 12th south that was great. We played for free beer and tips and the crowd was just really friendly and laid back. To me there is nothing worse than playing to a crowd full of uptight hipsters that just can’t wait to classify a band as lame and then move on. These people were just there to drink beer and hear a free show. It was an amazing crowd.

I don’t know that I have a favorite local hangout. DC has a lot of great bars and venues. I like different places for different reasons. IOTA is great and The Black Cat is one of my favorite venues. Lost Dog Café is a great place to grab a beer.

- How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

I am very proud to be a crafty bastard. In fact, the guitar I will be playing at the show is a craft project in and of itself. I bought a cheap guitar on craigslist, stripped the old paint off and stained the wood myself and replaced the pickups and put it all back together. Oh and my pedal board is made out of an old briefcase that I got at a thrift store and turned into a pedal board. So, yeah, I’m definitely down with being a crafty bastard. Oh and you can see pictures of both projects on wwp’s myspace blog.

- Where can the adoring public see you next?

Assuming there are no other crazy arsenic attacks, we’re tentatively slated to play Fort Reno, which I’m really excited about.

Jason Hutto, Samantha Spinney, a casio, delay pedal, tambourine, time, space, crafts. Check them out online at www.myspace.com/thirdchannel and on the Welcome Mat stage at Crafty Bastards June 28 at 2:45 pm!

Explain your band/stage name and define your sound.

Third Channel’s name comes from some 60s’ stereo technology called Phantom Third Channel which supposedly if you had your stereo speakers set just right and you position yourself in some mathematical perfect spot you could hear not only the left and right channels but also a phantom third channel of sound filling your brain. Audio companies always had some gimmick back then like Quadraphonic and whatever. Our sound is melodic delayed casio keyboard and tambourine pop.

What are your influences and worst equipment experiences?

Canned accompaniment through the years has always inspired me. Rhythm’s that were designed to be unique to their beat but bland enough to work with the maximum amounts of melody, brilliant! Worst equipment experience may be this upcomingcrafty bastards. We are trying to make it work with battery power on the front Welcome Mat acoustic stage.

What’s your favorite local hangout and best stage you’ve played?

My favorite place is my porch. There are so many birds singing it feels like they are about to take over. Iota has been the best on stage sound, full and comfortable.

How do you feel about being a Crafty Bastard?

This is my third or fourth crafty appearance so I’ve accepted being a crafty bastard.

Where can the adoring public see you next?

No other plans to play, we just always do. Art openings are the bestest.