©2011 Michael W. Hicks

Adult Edu-tainment: There's finally an anchor tenant for the Southwest Waterfront development complex—Graduate School USA, the institution formerly known as the U.S. Department of Agriculture grad school. (There's also a new name for the complex—"The Wharf on the Southwest Waterfront," which makes us expect to see Elia Kazan guest-lecturing on filmmaking.) So far, the other major tenant in the area is the Washington Kastles stadium. Maybe the Graduate School can offer courses explaining what, exactly, team tennis is? +3

Sulaimon Sings!: Everybody's favorite minor mayoral candidate is reportedly talking to the FBI. Sulaimon Brown, who scored 209 votes in last year's election, has been the talk of D.C. politics ever since he claimed he was given cash payments, and later offered a job, as part of a political quid pro quo for his campaign-trail attacks on former mayor Adrian Fenty. After weeks of worry that Brown's appointment was a sign that the District was backsliding towards its lawless 1980s past, the feds' interest should signal that Uncle Sam won't let that happen. On the other hand, evidence to the contrary: Brown claims his bike was stolen off the street while he was in a federal office chatting with the G-Men. -1

The Social Network City: And now for another installment of "Completely Meaningless Quasi-Scientific Rankings by National Magazines." Today's edition comes to you via Men's Health, which has declared the District to be "America's Most Socially Networked City," because we're "a city where staying connected can get out the vote, and virtual handshakes help shape our nation." Last on the list: El Paso, Texas. There's a paragraph full of nonsense explaining the rankings, which involved getting ad network Chikita to "analyze" traffic generated on other social networks, but do you really care? +1

Blue is the New Yellow. In a move that will surely inspire hours of conversation by transit geeks everywhere, Metro has unveiled its long-awaited Blue Line/Yellow Line switcheroo: Starting next June, a third of the Blue Line trains coming out of Franconia will start heading into D.C. via the Yellow Line bridge over the Potomac, thereby skipping the long detour through Rosslyn. Shocking! To compensate the underserved Rosslynites, the system will add an extra three Orange Line trains per hour. But what about those poor schlubs who want nothing more than a quick trip to Arlington National Cemetery? +3

Yesterday's Needle rating: 44 Today's score: +6 Today's Needle rating: 50

Yellow Line. © 2011 Matt Dunn