Oh, sure, patients and doctors would register with the Department of Health, but the growers and sellers would instead be subject to the city's Alcoholic Beverage Control (ABC) Board and its administrative arm, the Alcoholic Beverage Regulation Administration (ABRA), just as if your neighborhood dispensary were a bar; call it a hash bar for the sick. It seemed an unusual approach, somewhat unique among the many other states regulating medical cannabis, but practical, as the existing ABC Board/ABRA apparatus has extensive experience vetting the venues that distribute a controlled substance to qualified consumers.

Supporters espousing marijuana's legitimacy as medicine, however, balked at the idea. In an Aug. 15 letter to the Post, Wayne Turner, sponsor of D.C.'s original 1998 medical marijuana ballot initiative, fumed, "Having the [Alcoholic Beverage Control] Board in charge bolsters the false accusation that D.C.'s medical marijuana effort is not about helping patients but is instead a 'stalking horse' for the legalization of recreational marijuana."

The controversy appears to have prompted a few tweaks to the city's pot planning. Revised rules published in the D.C. Register today bear no mention of the ABC Board or ABRA. The booze police, it seems, have been written out of the program entirely.

In fact, the word "alcohol" appears just once in the entire 87-page rulemaking:

5402.5             A registration application for a cultivation center or dispensary shall not be approved for any location that also sells alcoholic beverages.

In place of the liquor authorities, the mayor will appoint a new hearing board "to conduct registration, licensing, and enforcement proceedings involving cultivation centers and dispensaries."

Just like the ABC Board, it would seem. Only called something different. And with all new members—because what's the point of passing new laws if you can't build a whole new bureaucracy to go along with them?

5401.2 A four member panel shall be convened consisting of one representative from the Department [of Health], MPD, OAG, and a staff person designated by the Board to evaluate and score each application.

Photo by Coaster420/Creative Commons Attribution License

It turns out that when your uncle's a guru, he acts a little weird. He sits on a bed with the writer in silence, smirking. But I think the weirdest part in the piece comes before he joins the Hare Krishnas:

He thought about suicide, got kicked out of school and spoke of moving to Nepal. "Where did I go so wrong?" my grandmother, who still lives in Germany, wrote in her diary back then. One afternoon, terrified of losing her connection with her son, then 17 or 18, my grandmother, a good Lutheran, sat with him at the kitchen table and got high on LSD.

Emphasis added. Can you think of anything wilder than doing acid with your mom? No word on how her drawings skills were affected.

Speaking of drugs, police officers in Montgomery County discovered a drug operation Friday after being called to investigate a noise complaint. After the partiers refused to turn down the music, officers checked out the apartment, where they found $15,000 in weed, Ecstacy, and PCP. They also found a one-year-old child in a closet, which is much less fun.

Well, gangs and violence, anyway.

A City Desk reader captured this sight with a cell phone cam yesterday morning, around 10:30 a.m., on the 1500 block of Marion Street NW:

The reader explains: 'Took some photos yesterday of 6 kids from the Mayor's Conservation Corps rolling [a] joint and smoking pot....I did call the police but they didn't show up before the kids finished up. You can see a lighter and smoke in the photos. You can tell what he's smoking from how he's holding it. :-) I could smell it...(don't ask me how I know what it smells like).'

(Because the alleged tokers are likely minors, City Desk has blurred their faces.)

*D.C. Police are still on the lookout for Corey Harrison, the slippery fellow who went AWOL on his child support and then, once in custody, escaped from the United Medical Center in the 1300 block of Southern Ave. SE:

He escaped from a men’s room by climbing through the ceiling of the restroom and then making his way to another room. When he escaped, he was wearing a white T-shirt, boxer shorts and a handcuff on one wrist.

*Prince of Petworth teams with IntangibleArts to wield a video camera in imitation of PBS. (See above.) Nice shades, yer highness!

*The D.C. Council, perhaps as a nod to our demonstrated lack of gumption in the face of actual weather, wants you to clean ice & snow off your car but won't fine you if you don't. (Via D.C. Wire)

*Still got your button from the Capital Fringe Festival? Julianne announces your February perks.

*Juliet Lapidos answers all of your dirty little Michael Phelps/ganja-related questions.

*ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY: George Washington was elected (1789) and reelected (1792) as our first Prez. And you can be damn sure that those pamphleteers liveblogged the shit out of his first 100 days.

When the cops came out, Blalock reportedly dropped his drawers, prompting the cops to cover his junk with a towel.  They then found 23 bags of pot in his car. Blalock claimed it was all a stunt to get a record label to notice him.

Blalock's lawyer, Edward Sussman, repeatedly called the case bizarre, and then added to that characterization himself. See, just because Blalock showed up with weed and told the cops people should be allowed to sell it, he didn't intend to sell it. Sussman said it's just like the Nats: They lose a lot, but when they get out on the field they don't intend to lose.

Huh?