Scout 1998-2008

Tis the season to adopt a greyhound. Though D.C. isn't near any dog tracks — the closest racing outposts can be found about five hours away in Wheeling, W..V. — the city is a hotbed of greyhound adoption. (My favorite adopted greyhound of all time, Craig Brownstein's Scout, is pictured here. Here's their story.)

Adoption's a real big deal right now, because the sport, or whatever you want to call greyhound racing, is dying fast. As 2009 ends, a lot of these 40-mile-an-hour couch potatoes will need new homes.

Several greyhound tracks are shuttering within days. Raynham Park in Raynham, Mass., is closing Dec. 26. Phoenix Greyhound Park in Phoenix, Ariz., and Dairyland Racetrack in Kenosha, Wisc., will end live racing by Dec. 31.

That means hundreds of dogs are being put up for adoption.

Voters in Massachusetts, where racing thrived for decades, banned dog tracks as of  2010, joining Vermont and Maine among states that have put prohibitions on the books. Two New Hampshire tracks went out of business earlier this year. That leaves Twin River in Rhode Island as the  only dog track in New England, and its owner is in bankruptcy and has asked to shut down its live racing operation.

Contact greyrescue.org for information on how to help.

***

The demise of greyhound racing has caught some two-legged victims around here, too: Andrew Beyer, who in his years with the Washington Post became arguably the most important horse racing writer of all time, lost a lot of money when Hinsdale, a New Hampshire tack, went under this year.

From a report in early 2009 in the Daily Racing Form, an equine publication:

Andrew Beyer, the popular handicapping expert, book author, and columnist, had $20,441 in his Hinsdale account at the time of the bankruptcy. Beyer, who frequently has columns published in Daily Racing Form, said on Thursday that he had never considered that the account could be wiped out by a bankruptcy filing.

For anybody still wondering what Beyer's been up to since he took his buyout from the Washington Post, let me try to explain something: HE HAD MORE THAN TWENTY GRAND IN A BETTING ACCOUNT AT AN OBSCURE NEW HAMPSHIRE DOG TRACK!

Good God.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Tommy Amaker bails on Falls Church High, loses to Georgetown? Can anybody explain why the Desiree Jennings crippled-by-a-flu-shot story died so fast? Can anybody explain why the D.C. Armor died so fast? Want to collect debts for Dan Snyder?)

***

A long time ago, Tommy Amaker, a Falls Church guy, was supposed to attend my alma mater, Falls Church High. But Amaker somehow weaseled his way out of attending FCHS and got himself enrolled at W.T. Woodson, an outside-the-beltway school with a better basketball program (and a better everything else, truth be told) than Falls Church had. He had a great run at Woodson, then went off to Duke and had a fabulous college playing career. Falls Church continued losing 16-20 games a year.

Amaker came back to town yesterday as coach of Harvard. He got whupped by Georgetown in a rare weekday day game at Verizon Center. I'm not sure how his coaching failures at Seton Hall and Michigan and yesterday's blowout are related to his bailing on FCHS all those years ago, but I'm sure they are.

***

I only got into this stuff this week, but I'm stunned at how fast the story of Desiree Jennings went away. Jennings became world famous overnight this fall as the Redskins cheerleader who was crippled by a flu shot. She set up a web site, desireejennings.com, just as her story went viral and it was used by leaders of the anti-vaccination movement (including Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy) to promote their cause.

But mere months after it went live, Jennings' site is dead. Visitors are now redirected to godaddy.com. The anti-vaccination crowd doesn't mention her anymore. Jennings quietly put a video on youtube indicating that the incurable disease brought on by the flu shot has been cured.

This is weird stuff.

***

The body hasn't yet been recovered, but there a few more clear signs that the D.C. Armor really is lifeless:

1)The official website of the city's first and only arena team has been shut down. As recently as last week, the front page of the site begged readers to keep showing up for news about the city's first and only arena football team.

2)The American Indoor Football Association no longer shows the D.C. Armor in the Eastern Division on its league standings, or anywhere on the AIFA website.

Why won't Armor owner Corey Barnette just come out and say the game's over? If he's even whispered it, I haven't heard such a thing.

There's no longer any shame in an arena team folding. If the Armor are indeed muerte, they'll have tons of company: One report has the AIFA killing off six of the 14 teams that played in 2009, and the DC franchise is listed among the fatalities.

But more suckers prospective franchise owners stepped over the bodies, so the league will add five new teams for 2010: New Jersey Revolution, Richmond Raiders, Wenatchee Valley Venom, Yakima Valley Warriors, San Jose Wolves.

***

Via Mister Irrelevant: Dan Snyder is looking to take somebody off the unemployment line just in time for the holidays.

Lest you think our town's Mr. Potter has changed his stripes, however, the job Snyder is looking to fill is a start-up position in... collections!

And not collections in the curator sense of the word, like somebody to work with art collections. No, this is collections in the pay-for-your-premium-tickets-now-or-we'll-sue-your-ass-like-we-sued-that-broke-grandmother's-ass sense.

We at Cheap Seats Daily are not usually in the business of giving Snyder free advertising space. But, he's filled so many thousand digital column inches for us in 2009, and, what the hell, it's Christmas, so:

Collections Coordinator – Washington Redskins (Landover, MD)

The Washington Redskins are seeking a highly motivated, energetic professional to join the organization on a Full Time basis as a Collections Coordinator.

Job Responsibilities:

• Oversee the collections process
• Coordinate with Legal and Finance departments
• Make calls to customers
• Process payments
• Set up payment plans
• Assist with customer related needs
• Transfer contracts
• Assist on game day
• Assist in preparation of legal correspondence
• Prepare reports for management

Requirements:

• Knowledge of FDCPA guidelines
• At least 2 years of collection experience
• Basic computer knowledge
• Strong communication and negotiation skills
• Must be able to work a flexible schedule
• Experience with Archtics database a plus

The Washington Redskins offer a competitive salary and an excellent benefits package. If you wish to become a part of this exciting, fast paced organization AND you meet the requirements listed above, please reply with a resume, cover letter and salary requirements or fax your information to (703) 726-7172. Apply Now NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer.

You can keep the referral fee, Dan.

***

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Seems Snyder doesn't really care who he jumps in bed with these days. His partner in the contest, which forces Redskins cheerleaders to put down their pom poms and pick up sponges and go service his radio station's 25-54 year old male demo, was a sponge company called SpongeTech Delivery Systems, Inc.

Well, just as the cheerleader pride giveaway was heating up, Snyder's ally gets nailed for all sorts of alleged shadiness by federal regulators: The Securities and Exchange Commission suspended trading on SpongeTech stock this week because of sketchy reports and non-filings of required documents.

(AFTER THE JUMP: SpongeTech's the Six Flags of the sudsy set? SpongeTech's so messed up it makes Snyder look like a fab businessman? Are Redskins cheerleaders being punished? Is WJFK punishing WTEM in the ratings? Can Mike Wise punish Tony Kornheiser? Is Anacostia/Eastern the Good Counsel/DeMatha of crumminess?)

Here's a release from the Securities and Exchange Commission dated Monday, October 5, 2009:

It appears to the Securities and Exchange Commission that there is a lack of current and accurate information concerning the securities of SpongeTech Delivery Systems, Inc. ("SpongeTech") because questions have arisen regarding the accuracy of assertions in press releases to investors and in periodic reports filed with the Commission concerning, among other things: (1) The amount of sales and customer orders received by the company; (2) the company's investment agreements; and (3) the company's revenues as reported in its financial statements. In addition, SpongeTech has not filed any periodic reports with the Commission since the period ended February 28, 2009.

The Commission is of the opinion that the public interest and the protection of investors require a suspension of trading in the securities of the above-listed company.

Therefore, it is ordered, pursuant to Section 12(k) of the Securities Exchange Act of 1934, that trading in the securities of the above-listed company is suspended for the period from 9:30 a.m. EDT, on October 5, 2009 through 11:59 p.m. EDT, on October 16, 2009.

By the Commission.

Elizabeth M. Murphy,
Secretary.
Citation: "74 FR 51626"
Document Number: "File No. 500-1"
Federal Register Page Number: "51626"
"Notices"

Investors were apparently already clued into SpongeTech's difficulties. The stock (SPNGE) was trading at $.06 a share when the SEC booted it off the board.

Now that I think about it, it makes sense that Snyder would be attracted to SpongeTech. It ain't easy for Snyder to find a company that's as much a laughingstock on Wall Street as is his Six Flags. For all the mess Snyder has made while running that theme park giant into bankruptcy, perhaps SpongeTech makes him feel like Warren Buffett! (Thanks to Destino for the SEC tipoff.)

***

The director of the Redskins Cheerleaders told me earlier this week she wasn't aware that members of her crew had agreed to wash cars for WTEM. Redskins spokesman Karl Swanson hasn't responded to my query about the contest. But I now have a theory why Snyder would give the Redskins Cheerleaders such a degrading and subservient job as washing cars for sportstalk radio listeners: He's still peeved at the First Ladies of Football for working the launch party for rival radio station WJFK in July.

That episode was a total embarrassment for the cheerleader obsessed Snyder, but with this contest he can show his WTEM listeners that he's back in control of the troupe.

***

Speaking of the radio rivalry: The news ain't much better for Snyder in sportstalk land.

WJFK boss Chris Kinard, the brains behind hiring the Redskins Cheerleaders for the coming out party of Snyder's competition, put out a statement yesterday saying that his station is walloping the bejeezus outta Snyder's.

Portions of Kinard's release:

"According to Arbitron ratings released today, Sportsradio 106.7 The Fan is the No.1-ranked sports radio station in Washington, D.C.  The station signed on July 20 and has eclipsed sports radio rival WTEM with listeners 12+, and in its target demographic of Men 25-54.

In the September ratings period (Aug. 20-Sept. 16), The Fan showed growth across the board.  Its overall share of listeners 12+ was up 38% from the prior ratings period. During the same time period, the station increased its share among Men 18+ and 18-34 by 24% and 35%.

Additionally, The Fan was the No. 1 choice for Men 18-34 sports radio listeners in the coveted morning and afternoon timeslots, as well as in midday and evenings."

These numbers only include about one week of the Mike Wise v. Tony Kornheiser late-morning battle, which provides the most intrigue of all the WJFK/WTEM subplots.

Wise is a radio newcomer; Kornheiser, despite being damaged goods after the extended "Monday Night Football" debacle, is the biggest name and probably highest paid guy in Snyder's deejay stable.

Kinard didn't provide specific numbers about the 10 a.m. to 12 noon portion of the midday slot. If WJFK can win that against Kornheiser and during the NFL season, WTEM's future's bleak.

God knows what Snyder'll force the cheerleaders to do if this keeps up.

***

Reminder: Haves and Have Nots Bowls are both being played on area high school gridirons tonight.

The Haves Bowl: DeMatha hosts Good Counsel at the Prince George's Sports and Learning Complex.

In recent years, DeMatha v. Good Counsel gets people as fired up as Roe v. Wade.

These are the top two football teams around town. DeMatha has an athletic program second to none not only locally but anywhere. Good Counsel has tried to model itself after the Hyattsville powerhouse, hiring several DeMatha alums and coaches.

But though Good Counsel has been able to crack the national prep football rankings in recent years, it has been nothing more than a bridesmaid to DeMatha in the powerful WCAC Conference for Catholic schools. It'll take a win tonight and a win in the WCAC championship game to change the local landscape.

The Have Nots Bowl:  Eastern at Anacostia

Both programs are the vying for the worst of the worst right now. Anacostia is 0-6 and has given up 50 points in four of those losses. Anacostia has a chance to become the first DC high school program ever to go 0-11 in a season.

But Eastern is at least as godawful. The school didn't even field a team last season and probably won't field one next year, and thus far in 2009 has put up an 0-3 record and has been outscored 114-13.

Eastern's best chance for victory here would come if Anacostia is looking past today's game to the upcoming matchup with Spingarn.

Spingarn, another perennial Have-Notter, is currently 0-4 and is losing the points battle 200-6.

Good golly.

***

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"How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? — AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders soap up and scrub down your car???"

Well? How would you like that?

Check out that ad!

It appears on the Web site for WTEM, Dan Snyder's sports talk station, to promote the latest listener contest. Top prize will bring the Redskins cheerleaders over to wash your car.

Kinda yucky?

The radio ads are just as outrageous, with panting males and all sorts of breathy talk of scrubbing and rubbing. The campaign is also just the latest evidence of Snyder's thing for cheerleaders. He took over the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders shortly after buying the team, and has increased their role in his global marketing scheme ever since.

The car wash campaign marks a new level of subservience for the Redskins Cheerleaders, and cheerleaders in general. The message is: "Put down your pom poms and grab a sponge!" That tells the world that Snyder can force his troupe to put on something skimpy and service Joe Sixpack.

Basically, Snyder's pushing a Madonna/Whore image for his cheerleaders.

Well, minus the Madonna.

(AFTER THE JUMP: More on the Redskins cheerleaders? Snyder is being called "Lord Farquaad"? PhotoGate update: Snyder really did censor Dan Steinberg? Isn't the Leonsis worship getting outta hand? Guaranteed Win Night proves AGAIN that it's a sure thing? Remember "The Sure Thing"?)

Look for more about the Redskins' owner's history with cheerleaders in a Cheap Seats column that'll come out sometime later this week.

***

Update on PhotoGate: Dan Snyder DID censor Dan Steinberg's photos from the Tampa Bay game!

Steinberg had chronicled the ill-will among the home fans at FedExField, and his piece was accompanied by photos of the ill-willed wearing anti-Snyder T-shirts and garb.

Steinberg took the photos himself, while walking around the stadium. He's been taking those photos at FedExField and posting them without problems since he started doing the Sports Bog.

But hours after he put up shots of the Tampa Bay game, a game during which stadium security confiscated thousands and thousands of bags that discontented ticket buyers planned to wear on their heads, those photos disappeared from washingtonpost.com.

Steinberg, my former regular Friday lunch date, declined to comment on what went on.

But sports editor Matt Vita says the photos were pulled from Steinberg's Bog at the behest of the Redskins: "The Redskins said he was in violation of his credentials for taking the photographs. We honored that request, because at the end of the day, they control access to their facility."

Vita would not discuss the possible implications of ignoring the Redskins request to yank the photos.

Round: Snyder, 10-8.*

***

Over at Dan Snyder's message board, extremeskins.com, some of the discontented have taken to calling the owner "Lord Farquaad."

That's harsh. But it beats the crap outta "Synder."

***

Leonard Shapiro, who was taking his slams of Dan Snyder to the Miami Herald recently, has brought 'em all back home to the Washington Post. Well, to washingtonpost.com, anyway.

Shapiro goes down the path of comparing Snyder to Ted Leonsis.

This Caps team is great fun, and Leonsis these days is impossible not to love, being the open, accessible owner of a winning team. Just a couple years ago, he was brawling with Caps fans in the concourse of the home arena! Yet he's still out there glad-handing and giving fans and players and George McPhee all the credit.

And, sure, Snyder remains in hiding, and after hearing a couple boos and "Lord Farquaad!"'s he's ordering his thugs to take your paper bags away.

But the Caps worship is getting out of hand. This ain't the first time the Capitals have been pretty good. The current Caps squad hasn't gotten as far, and absent #8 isn't as obviously talented, as the 1989-1990 squad, and that team's fans were as committed and crazy. Nobody put Abe Pollin on a pedestal back then.

Damn, that was 20 years ago? What a geezer post this is!

***

Guaranteed Win Night comes in again!

Cheap Seats Daily spied that +52-run run differential differential (R²D²™) the Minnesota Twins enjoyed over the Detroit Tigers, and couldn't lay off the Twins in the one-game playoff to get into the standard postseason.

Some folks might have been worried when Detroit was up a run in the top of the 10th, or had the bases loaded with one out in the 11th.

But not us.

No, not us, even as we "watched" the game on ESPN.com's silly/amazing MLB GameCast and figures flashed on-screen saying that Detroit had a 72 pecent chance to win the game with a guy on second and one out in the 11th, so Minnesota intentionally walked a guy, and that gave Detroit runners on first and second and a 74 percent chance to win the game. (I'm no baseball guy, but if you increase the opponent's chance of winning by intentionally putting a runner on first in that situation, how come EVERY manager does it?)

But, again, while we were confused by the pro-Detroit percentages, we were not worried. Because here at Cheap Seats Daily, we know, to re-quote the dumbass adage we made up while begging folks to put the mortgage and then some on Minnesota, that pitching might win championships, but R²D² Wins Ballgames™!

Vegas has gotta be worried about the success of Cheap Seats Daily's free touting service. Good thing for Delaware that that state didn't get sports gambling like it wanted, or by now both my readers would own half of Wilmington.

Plainly, Guaranteed Win Night™ is the surest thing since Nicolette Sheridan. (IMDB's database lists Sheridan's character in the 1984 movie The Sure Thing as "The Sure Thing.")

Watching that movie clip now, among the things that occur to me is that Sheridan mighta been the template for Snyder's vision of a Washington Redskins cheerleader. She just needs a sponge.

***

*Full disclosure: I freelance music reviews for the Washington Post.

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com