Hmmm.

Does this mean Riggleman had to agree to let the Lerners bring Earl Weaver out of retirement to have final say on the pitching rotation?

Yesterday, in this very space, we blew the lid off the latest listener contest for Dan Snyder's sportstalk station, WTEM-AM, in which the Redskins owner promises to send his cheerleading squad over to winners' houses and make them wash cars.

And in this week's analog edition, we blow the lid off Dan Snyder's cheerleader past, from his 2000 rackumentary "Beauty on the Beach," all the way up to his latest scheme, which tells the cheering crew to put down their pom poms and pick up sponges and service his 25-54 male audience.

And, as promised, throughout all this lid-blowing we've run the same photograph of all those sudsy blondes, again and again and again.

That's the shot that got The Great Dan Steinberg so lathered up he rudely barged into the comments section to pooh-pooh our Snyder/T&A expose. TGDS basically accused Cheap Seats Daily of hypocrisy and of being as exploitative as Dan Snyder!

Just because we ran this photo of sudsy blondes!

That hurts.

What kind of message does that contest (and this photo) send to the Little Ladies of Football? Think of the children, Dan and Dan!

(AFTER THE JUMP: Could Snyder's layoffs at Redskins Park have helped this car wash debacle along? Is it Sherm or Sherman? Dan Steinberg reveals Lewis' bingo past? Dan Steinberg conceals reveals his own bingo past? How loaded is the Skins' 2009 schedule with Snyder humiliatees? Yankee Stadium ain't the only ballpark in use this October? Nationals Park gets loaded with readers?)

Butt seriously, this new low/high in Snyder's cheerleader marketing schemes might have something to do with personnel changes.

Donald Wells, the longtime director of the Redskins cheerleaders who predated Snyder, got fired a few months ago. Wells is now director of marketing for Sweethearts for Soldiers, a cheerleader-centric charity based in San Diego.

Wells' replacement as Redskins cheerleader director, Stephanie Jojokian, told me on Tuesday that she wasn't aware that any of her cheerleaders were going to be washing cars. Melanie Treanor Coburn, the Redskins Cheerleaders director of marketing, did not return phone calls. Jojokian says Treanor Coburn is on maternity leave.

***

While there is no agreement on whether to call him "Sherm Lewis" or "Sherman Lewis," everybody agrees the Redskins hiring of an "offensive consultant" is going to do nothing other than humiliate Jim Zorn.

But only TGDS took time to write up Sherm Lewis's past as a bingo caller this morning.

For whatever reason, the ever-humble Bogger leaves out his personal past with the churchy game. In 2002, when he was Just Plain Dan Steinberg, JPDS blew the lid off DC bingo queen Vanessa Woodland in a fabulous City Paper cover story. Read it here.

***

Zorn isn't the first guy Snyder's humiliated here, of course. We've already heard Jon Jansen gloating over the greatness of taking part in ending the Lions losing streak with a win over Washington.

But there's a lot of Snyder haters on the schedule this year.

Mike Nolan is doing better than OK in Denver. Nolan's the guy who Snyder kept delivering vanilla ice cream to during the 1999 season just after buying the Redskins,  a super twerpy way of saying that he thought the Redskins defense was bland.

Snyder had  started at middle linebacker for the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers during a stellar NFL career and therefore was quite qualified to render such judgements never played a down of foootball at any level in his life but still felt qualified to render such judgements.

From the San Franciso Chronicle's telling of the Nolan/Snyder ice cream tale, which has been told a billion times but not enough:

"It happened twice," Nolan said of the ice cream deliveries. The first time, rapidly defrosting gallons of extravagant flavors were placed outside Nolan's office door with a note saying, "No more vanilla."

"I wrote him a note, saying that my kids would enjoy the ice cream and that the advice was well taken," Nolan said. "(I was) thinking he was kidding. Then I found out he wasn't kidding."

When Nolan stayed conservative with his defenses, Snyder went industrial. Nolan showed up one day to find a hand cart parked at his desk with melting 5-gallon drums of ice cream.

Fast forward to 2009...From an AP story that appeared on washingtonpost.com yesterday titled "Once dismal Broncos defense thriving under Nolan," a different image of Nolan's abilities as a manager of men emerges. As in this quote: "In this defense, I see pride, I see hunger, I see a battle for respect," linebacker Mario Haggan said.

Has anybody said any of those things about this year's Redskins? Well, when I look at Albert Haynesworth, I guess I do see hunger. But that's another story.

Denver's 4-0, and Nolan's defense is given as the reason. The Skins play Denver at Denver FedExField on Nov. 15.

Gregg Williams is doing ok, too. Dan Snyder rejected and humiliated Williams after a Gitmo-esque interview process that had the Skins former defensive coordinator shacking up at Snyder's Potomac mansion, the one with a good view of the River. No sensible explanation was ever given for bypassing Williams for Jim Zorn as head coach.

(My fave rumor out of Redskins Park, still being told, has Williams getting blackballed as head coach by Joe Gibbs because he wasn't godly enough, which would explain why Snyder ended up with Zorn, who appends a biblical proverb  to every autograph. Geezus Chrysler!)

But Williams is now with 4-0 New Orleans, and is getting a lot of kudos for the undefeatedness of his team. Michael Wilbon, who has taken to putting Williams' name in his columns about as often as Charles Barkley's or Michael Jordan's, credited the defensive coordinator with Sunday's big win over the previously undefeated Jets in a Tuesday story:

Okay, we knew the New Orleans offense was great, but how about Gregg Williams's defense? Yes, Gregg Williams. That guy. Getting it done. The Saints harassed the Jets all over the field and forced Mark Sanchez into some killer INTs.

Skins play New Orleans at home on Dec. 6.

Norv Turner ain't doing that great. Turner, the last head coach Snyder fired midseason, has his Chargers at 2-2. But San Diego's .500 seems a helluva lot stronger than the Skins' .500.

Washington plays at San Diego on the last weekend of the season in what will surely be a meaningless game for at least one of the teams.

***

Major League Baseball's playoff series are all on as of today. But Nationals Park is always available in October. So a literacy group decided to book the big room today to try to get publicity.

This morning, a crowd in the hundreds, or what a typical Nationals/Marlins game would draw, was expected to show up for "Read for the Record," which organizers claim will be an attempt to set the record for "largest one-day shared reading experience ever." Representatives from the Nationals, including Stan Kasten, did some reading.

The book everyone will be sharing is called "The Very Hungry Caterpillar." Too bad Dmitri Young wasn't around for this one.

***

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Washington is turning on all its institutions! The Burgundy Revolution is no longer stopping at Dan Snyder's door! (Though Sally Jenkins' column is.) TO WIT:

1) Washington Post Magazine chat turns into TOTAL BLOODBATH! Readers want to know: WHY DO THE ARTICLES LOOK LIKE ADS? WHY DID YOU USE THOSE FONTS? HOW IN THE HELL DID SECOND GLANCE MAKE THE CUT? Editors stammer, run inside, toss a Chuck Brown feature off the parapets. It's not gonna work!

After the jump, more evidence the whole town is going Montecore.

2) Thomas Boswell turns on the Nats, but maybe he's turning on all of D.C. when he calls it "the only top-10 market with the gall to act like a bottom-five town." REVOLUTION!

3) Cabbies in Adams Morgan turn on drunks! This is like Jason Linkins turning on bad writing!

4) The new Washington Post local homepage causes me to turn against remaining informed! Not because of the page, which I like, but because of this animated lady with a Smedneck accent who keeps popping up every time I return. Isn't there some kind of technology that ensures I see her only once?

What's next? A mob in front of Ian MacKaye's house demanding he apologize for Egg Hunt?

BIKE COMMUTING CORNER: Soon it will rain a lot. Get yourself some fenders. There are many expensive ways to do this, and I used to subscribe to them, but these days I'm high on the "chromoplastic" SKS fenders that you can pop on in a half-hour and that do just as nice a job as expensive French or Japanese ones that you need to pay some guy at City Bikes $30 to install after you nearly kill yourself trying to get a decent fender line that can be destroyed by a stick getting sucked up between your tire and fender. These will simply detach safely if that happens. Don't be the chump with the gnarvosis stripe up your back! Buy them from REI and they'll ship them to the store for free.

I gotta bounce! My sink is broken! Follow me on Twitter!

So over that on WRC, Lindsay Czarniak did her sports report Sunday night without ANY visible Skins logos on her person. (Fact.)

So over that Sonny Jurgensen didn't tussle with Jim Zorn in his postgame interview. (Fact.)

So over that starting this week, the Virginia Lottery has changed first prize for its $20 Redskins scratch tickets to two (2) Redskins season tickets, and second prize to four (4) Redskins season tickets. (Fiction!)

Butt seriously:  What kind of buffoon is going to pay $20, the most heinous sum in the history of lotteries, for a chance to win Skins season tickets that pretty soon won't be worth $20? Commercials for the scratch tickets ran throughout the Redskins radio broadcast yesterday, and the uglier the game got, the more absurd the prizes  seemed. Who wants ANYTHING associated with the Redskins right now?

Coming soon to a courthouse near you: Dan Snyder sues lottery winners who turn down their Skins season tickets. (Fiction.)

But, good god, are the 2009 Skins over. (Fact.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Skins' suckage is the lead local story? The national newspeople take break into Tiger Woods coverage to dump on the Skins? Jurgensen takes it easy on Zorn? Sam Huff can't stomach Albert Haynesworth? Will Haynesworth make everybody forget Dana Stubblefield? Bad news is good news for extremeskins.com? Who is this "Synder" fella? Nats get swept again? The Nats Tragic Number is down to what? It's hockey season?)

"There's no way to overstate just how bad this is," said anchorman Craig Melvin to open the evening news broadcast at WRC, a place where news employees actually work for Dan Snyder and are known to wear their fealty to the Skins owner on their shirtsleeves. (Czarniak told the Tony Kornheiser Show last week that somebody above her, either station management or Dan Snyder, forced her to wear Redskins clothing on the air.) Several minutes of doom and doomer about the loss in Detroit followed on WRC.

Fox 5 also led off its 10 o clock news with the Skins: "Disappointment, anger frustation..." said anchor Will Thomas. "Keep going!" co-anchor Maureen Umeh chimed in.

Earlier in the day, Jurgensen also seemed at a loss for words during his post-game locker-room interview with Zorn. The Hall of Fame QB dropped the attack-dog style he'd used on the Redskins coach in recent weeks. There was no fight left in Zorn.

"We must change," Zorn told Jurgy.

At the exact moment that Zorn and Sonny were moping it up on Dan Snyder's radio station, WTEM, the Detroit Lions players were being shown on national TV walking around the perimeter of Ford Field accepting fans' congratulations like they'd all just broken Cal Ripken's streak.

***

The Redskins are a national cause for concern, too: NBC interrupted its FedEx Cup golf tournament broadcast to alert viewers that the Lions had won for the first time since 2007.

"It'll be a long week for the Redskins," said the NBC anchorwoman.

***

There were some fantastic radio moments between Skins play-by-play man Larry Michael and color commentator Sam Huff during yesterday's WTEM game broadcast when the neo-Stubblefield, Albert Haynesworth, made his first sack of the season and stayed on the Detroit turf. Huff is tired of the $100 million man's slothful demeanor on gamedays.

Michael: Haynesworth is down!

Huff: He's tired...

Michael: And he has not moved!

Huff: Tired

Haynesworth was eventually taken off the field by medical personnel on a cart.

***

Drama can be good for business: Dan Snyder's message board, extremeskins.com, is claiming its all time record for traffic was broken after the game by a factor of 1 and a half.

As soon as a thread expressing all the bad feelings was closed, another one was started. Typical was one titled: If You Shared an Elevator With Dan Snyder Tomorrow...........What would you say to him?

"I'd fart," said the poster Arkawi, the only guy to get in before moderators shut down the thread.

The traffic flow at Snyder's web site was no doubt helped by the traffic tie-up at Snyder's sports talker, WTEM-AM. For whatever reason, host Al Galdi took a paltry amount of callers in his two-hour or so post-game show, despite running out of ways to say that the Redskins had lost early into the program. One of the few listeners who managed to override WTEM's filibuster and get on the air railed against the owner and tagged Vinny Cerrato as Snyder's "personal sock puppet."

WJFK, meanwhile, didn't even have a postgame show to let fans decompress. Instead, the area's newest sportstalker aired a live broadcast of the Pittsburgh Steelers/Cincinnati Bengals game.

Via email, WJFK boss Chris Kinard explained his station's programming choice: "By contract with Westwood [One, an NFL syndicator], we have to carry their late afternoon game. It's part of the deal to carry Sunday and Monday Night Football. We had a postgame last week when the Ravens game was blacked out locally, and will do expanded pre and post coverage whenever possible."

Kinard, who says he also noticed how few callers were allowed on WTEM after the game, promises to let fans vent to their heart's content today.

"We're going to open the phone lines all day," he says. "Should be interesting."

***

The Washington Post dealt the Redskins owner the lowest of blows yesterday. From an introduction to Michael Wilbon's Sunday column in support of not firing the coach: "Jim Zorn is Daniel M. Synder's sixth coach."

"Synder!"

Somewhere along the way, for reasons I'm not sure of, "Synder" became the go-to nickname for hardcore Redskins fans when mocking the team's owner.

"Schottenheimer" was spelled correctly in Wilbon's piece.

***

Nats lose! Nats lose!

Swept away...again. This time by the Atlanta Braves. At 52-103, the Road to 100 Losses is but a memory.  If I'm carrying the one correctly, the Nats' Tragic Number, guaranteeing the team the worst record in the Majors, is down to two -- any combination of Washington losses or Pittsburgh Pirates wins, and our team's got the top draft pick all over again.

Good thing it's hockey season!

***

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One fascinating (to me) part of the story that I didn't get into for space reasons: While sitting on the Anacostia building over the years, Monk and Mann, joined by Darrell Green, lobbied the residents of Sursum Corda, a low-income housing development off North Capitol Street NW, to turn control of that woeful development over to them. The ex-teammates made their pitch to redevelop the property right after the murder of 14 year-old Jahkema Princess Hansen. They did not get the job.

For both the Anacostia and Sursum Corda projects, Monk and Mann used the Bennett Group, a DC-based development firm headed by LuAnn Bennett, wife of a longtime Congressman, Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.).

Congress gave the Good Samaritan Foundation at least $775,000 in grants for the training center project.

The Bennett Group's slogan, which pops up every now and then on the firm's web site: "The bottom line for Bennett Group is value. For us, that means delivering projects on time and on budget, without compromising on quality."

That adage doesn't really jibe with what went on at the Carver Theatre site.

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Capitals announcer blows off Falls Church High School Reunion for Fan Fest? Anacostia High has chance at Worst Season in DC High School History? Will Eastern and Spingarn keep Anacostia from their date with destiny? The Nats no longer need to consult Mapquest on the Road to 100 Losses?)

There are two big get-togethers in the area this weekend: The reunion of the Falls Church High School Class of 1979, and the Washington Capitals Fan Convention.

Because of the latter, Wes Johnson won't be able to attend the former.

Johnson is the Caps longtime P.A. announcer, and far as I can tell the only guy from Falls Church (full disclosure: my alma mater, same class as Johnson) to ever make anything of himself. The only other alum from FCHS to get the spotlight was a Pizza Hut delivery man who jumped the White House fence and got shot in 1995.

Johnson, a professional voice-over artist when not riling up the home fans from his perch in the penalty box, has been working the microphone at Verizon Center since 2000.

He says he favored an understated delivery when he first got the Caps job, but turned into the over-the-top bellower fans now know and love after a gig for a video-game producer in which he had to play an arena announcer... for gladiators.

"For that job, I put my regular voice 'on steroids,'" says Johnson, speaking figuratively in case it's illegal for P.A. guys to be juiced, "and it carried over to what I do with the Caps. And, I've found the arena-announcer-for-gladiators voice works pretty well with hockey, too."

Johnson will spend all Saturday at the Caps event, to be held at the Gaylord National Resort and Convention Center in Oxon Hill. Other scheduled special guests include NHL commissioner Gary Bettman, owner Ted Leonsis, general manager George McPhee, head coach Bruce Boudreau and former fan favorites including Rod Langway, Al Iafrate, and the long-absent Dennis Maruk.

Tickets for the Caps event are sold out. If you want to go to the Falls Church High reunion, however, call 703-471-6700.

***

Anacostia has a fighting chance of posting an 0-11 season. That might well have never happened in DC high school football history. Some DCIAA teams this year have added a game to the traditional 10-game maximum slate that has long been in place for prep football.

DC football has long been a game of haves and have nots, and Anacostia is the only one of the have-nots in the public school league to throw in the extra game on this year's schedule.

Anacostia has gotten off to the kind of start that makes the winless, record-breaking season seem very possible:  The Indians are already 0-4 and have suffered some major blowouts, including a 60-0 pounding from Dunbar last week.

But ignominy isn't going to come so easily:  Anacostia has games at the end of the season against Spingarn and Eastern, the reigning kings of DC's Have-Nots.

So far in 2009, Spingarn and Eastern have a combined record of 0-4, and have been outscored 168-12. Both schools will take big time beatings today. Spingarn faces Dunbar, and Eastern, which didn't even field a football team last year, will get grounded and pounded by charter school powerhouse Friendship Collegiate.

But, Eastern has only eight games listed on its schedule this year, and Spingarn nine. So neither has the chance for Historical Badness that Anacostia does.

Cheap Seats Daily will keep an eye on Anacostia as it makes its way along the historic Road to 11 Losses!

***

Speaking of historic losers: Nats lose! Nats lose!

The 7-6 loss to the Dodgers at home gives the their 100th defeat of 2K9.

The Road to 100 Losses is the The Road Traveled for this bunch -- three years in a row they've got triple digit defeats. So now the franchise has the same number of 100 loss seasons in Washington as it had in all its years in Montreal! (Anybody who says DC isn't a cursed baseball town hasn't seen "Damn Yankees"!)

One of Riggleman's postgame quotes, meant to praise his boys for not getting blown out like they got blown out on Tuesday, is an unintentional thigh-slapper: "That team's going to be popping champagne any day," Riggleman said, "and we're right there with 'em."

Well, if by "right there with 'em" Riggleman means his Nats, running away with worst-team-in-the-majors honors, are within just 39 1/2 games of the Dodgers, who've won a major-league best 92 games this year, then...OK, Coach, you ARE right there with 'em!

***

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"Our media have been our harshest critics," whined Mike Sellers during his media session yesterday.

He's the fullback who dropped what would have been a touchdown pass from Jason Campbell in Sunday's game with the Rams.

Sellers' comments, which were aired repeatedly on WTEM-AM, Snyder's sportstalk station, and rival WJFK-FM, also included a rant about how one of his Redskins coaches told the players that reporters in other towns where he'd coached were much better cheerleaders than DC's.

"Instead of boosting you," Sellers said of local scribes, "they kind of tear you down."

If you make a touchdown catch, Mike, I bet even some folks around here will write that you made a touchdown catch.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Now Cooley's whining, too? Portis admits a day at FedExField is money well wasted? Should Olie Kolzig have waited until NHL training camps opened before retiring? What? NHL training camps are open? Have you spent your Guaranteed Win Night winnings yet? Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman, the sluggingest sluggers in DC baseball history? So it's the pitching?)

All the Redskins are victims these days. We all know by now that even inactive linebackers are so hurt by the lack of unconditional love that they feel they've got license to Twitter that fans are "dim wits" and slam folks who don't make as much money as NFL players.

Then Skins management makes things worse by putting out a press release accusing the Washington Post of putting a negative slant on stories about the inactive linebacker who Twitters that fans are "dim wits" and slams folks who don't make as much money as NFL players.

Even self-styled wild and crazy guy Chris Cooley showed his thin-skinnedness on his blog yesterday: "There is a reason that fans are fans," wrote Cooley. "My job is to play tight end and yours is to cheer loud. To be the best 'we' all gotta play our roles."

Geez. Even Cooley?

That's really sad.

***

Clinton Portis was zigging as teammates and management zagged.

While explaining what might have led fans at FedExField to make unhappy noises, Portis, who might say anything on any given day, gave the greatest quote of the 2009 season, at least up through Week 2: "You're spending $700 a week to come out and see some entertainment," he said, "and you get there and there's really not a lot of entertainment."

I think somebody read Portis "The Emperor's New Clothes" during his formative years.

***

Olie Kolzig has retired. It's not big news here or anywhere, which is sorta sad.

Here's how far back Kolzig goes with the Caps: Kolzig played a couple games with the big-league club in the 1989-1990 season.

That's the Caps team that made it all the way to the conference finals, before losing to the Boston Bruins, and might have had the most talented roster in franchise history.

But the squad was quickly blown up because of a city-rocking sex scandal that grew out of the season-ending party to celebrate the successes. An underage guest claimed to have been gang-raped by Caps stars in a limo outside Champions, the Georgetown bar hosting the bash. The allegations never led to any criminal charges, and the 17-year-old accuser didn't file any civil suits.

But all the players involved -- Scott Stevens, Dino Ciccarelli, Geoff Courtnall, and Neil Sheehy -- were quickly shipped out of town, forcing the Caps into a long rebuilding phase.

Where were we? Oh, right. Olie Kolzig retired. Quite a career. I'm sure Kolzig's  announcement would have gotten a lot more attention if he'd waited to make it until hockey camps opened.

What's that? It's started? The Caps have already played how many preseason games?

Really? Does anybody know?

Oh. Anyway: Happy retirement, Olie.

***

The Dodgers had the bases loaded with one out and the game tied in the top of the ninth and couldn't score. The Nats get a stolen base and an L.A. error in the bottom half and get the victory.

That's just a bump along the Road to 100 Losses™...but, the big news is: Guaranteed Win Night™ comes in AGAIN.

Don't spend it all in one place...until directed otherwise by Cheap Seats Daily!

Ryan Zimmerman had a three-run HR yesterday. Zimmerman and Adam Dunn are now among the most dynamic slugging duos in Washington baseball history.

They've now got 69 home runs and 203 RBI between them so far.

Zimmerman and Dunn already have more RBI than any pair of DC boys of summer since the 1930s. For some perspective, I consulted (who else?) Phil Wood about the Nats' 2009 numbers, and he learned me that in 1932 Joe Cronin and Heinie Manush had 116 RBI apiece, and a year later Cronin had 118 and Joe Kuhel 107 RBI.

No two Washington players have notched 100 RBI each since 1959, when Harmon Killebrew had 105 and Jim Lemon drove in 100.

In homers, Zimmerman and Dunn are now tied with Alfonso Soriano and Nick Johnson of the 2005 Nats, who also had 69, and trail only Mike Epstein (30 HRs) and Frank Howard (48) of the 1969 Washington Senators.

And yet the 2009 Nats are still going to lose a lot more than 100 games!

I'm no Casey Stengel, but looking at these numbers, I think I figured out what the problem is. So I said to Phil Wood: "I guess it's the pitching."

"Of course it's the pitching," said Wood.

***

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PICK UP A PAPER! We're trying a new cover design thingy. E-mail me what you think, and CC: the Sexist!

Does anyone now what kind of mushroom this is? E-mail me, and CC: the Sexist! Do you like real mushrooms, or do you prefer mushrooms made of gourds? It is America! You don't have to choose!)

AMAZING story by Paul Duggan this morning about horrorcore rap, goth, murder, and part-time preaching. In Farmville, Va.! (Hey Spin, 2009 called and it wants 1999 back! Get Mark Schone! Get Mike Rubin to do a sidebar! Get me if those guys are busy! It's time to get the band back together!)

After the jump: No way lynching this Census employee related to carefully stoked nutball rage; Caps, Nats win; Terry Wogan standing next to a cake of Terry Wogan.

Ruh roh! You don't think all that birther/9/12/teabaggin'/townhallin' had anything to do with this horrific murder, do you? Oh don't be ridonkulous!  (HT: Federal Eye) Also, this just in, dead body in SW.

Caps win! (Wait, it's hockey season?) Nats win! (Wait, McKenna was right?) Zorn and Campbell not so bad! (Dan Steinberg's new niche: Skins con-wiz challenger.)

ANNALS OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR DEPT: Here is a photo I took this morning at the entrance to Rock Creek Park on Calvert Street NW. As you can see, the entrance is blocked off. Why? Who knows! But here are people not just ignoring the sign, but LINING UP TO IGNORE THE SIGN. They can't go down the hill---Park Police have blocked off the road further down, too. Why do people assume "DO NOT ENTER" means "EVERYONE BUT YOU, OF COURSE"?

Finally, if you are British or love someone who is, you probably watch the Eurovision Song Contest whenever you can. (Or is that just me?) ANYWAY, here is a picture of longtime Eurovision presenter Terry Wogan next to a life-sized cake of himself. #WEIRD!

I gotta bounce! Follow me on Twitter, and CC: the Sexist!

Thompson told listeners he phoned Baylor in Southern California on his birthday just to say thanks for inspiring him and so many other DC kids in the 1950s when he went off to college to play ball. Baylor's style of play was a revelation to players from anywhere and everywhere. But around here, Baylor's influence transcended the court. Before Baylor, Thompson said, kids on the city's playgrounds never thought of going off to college. He made the world a bigger place for a whole generation.

Thompson, now 68, recalled being at the playground one day when Baylor, already a legend here after carrying the University of Seattle to the NCAA Final Four, showed up with a big friend: Wilt Chamberlain. Thompson, then a skinny and awestruck teenager sitting courtside, was the last guy picked for the game. "Elgin remembered it!" Thompson said, as if he never played in a game that mattered more.

The story led to all sorts of calls from other aging children to talk about Baylor's greatness and other boyhood heroes.

Because the mainstream media pretended black schoolboy athletes didn't matter, Baylor never got talked up enough when he lived here.

(AFTER THE JUMP: How come Baylor doesn't have a statue? Tamir Goodman retires? From what? If Linda McMahon comes back to DC, will Vince follow?)

And, he doesn't get talked up enough around his old hometown to this day. If any athlete from DC deserves a statue, it's Elgin Baylor.

***

From a kid who didn't get enough attention to a kid who got way too much: Here's the lede of the Tamir Goodman retirement story from the Baltimore Sun: "Once heralded as 'The Jewish Jordan,' Tamir Goodman never lived up to the hype."

Goodman never had a chance.  It seemed the state of Maryland's entire Orthodox Jewish community was coming out for his games around the time Gary Williams offered Goodman a scholarship in 1999. Goodman's high school coach did him no favors, going on every sports station and calling every newspaper to tout the skinny teen's greatness during his junior season at Talmudical Academy in Pikesville. Goodman signed autographs to kids wearing yarmulkes and said he was playing not for a school but for a people.

"Tamir feels like he's playing for the Jewish people," his father, Karl Goodman, told me after a game at Talmudical. "But he still takes out the garbage."

For outsiders, the whole scene was as bizarre as it was entertaining.The administration at Talmudical, known for its conservative ways and academic rigors, wasn't amused by the media circus. The school didn't even want Goodman or his coach around for his senior year of high school.

And, like a horse whose trainer had only run him against cheap claimers or a fighter whose padded his record with tomato cans, Goodman's real game got exposed as soon as he went against high schools who cared about basketball. Williams withdrew Maryland's scholarship offer to Goodman before he'd graduated high school, and Goodman basically went into heavy rotation in Where-Are-They-Now? stories (including several in this space).

The godly frenzy that surrounded him as a kid put a zap on his head that's still there. After making his retirement announcement in Brooklyn -- he's been playing minor league ball in Israel, and now he'll work with kids -- he gave the Sun such quotes as "Looking back, I see how divinely ordained everything was," and "If you look at the beginning of my career, it seemed like God just carried me and I only knew success."

It's not his fault, or His fault, that Goodman was a better story than he was a basketball player.

***

Linda McMahon is trying to get back to DC. She's running as a Republican for Chris Dodd's (D-CT) U.S. Senate seat. McMahon is the husband of WWE boss and absolute mothershutyourmouthin' genius Vince McMahon.

The McMahons became a couple as kids growing up in North Carolina, when she was 13 years old and Vince was a couple years older. They've been together ever since. Vince spent a lot of time here in DC with his dad, Vincent J. McMahon, who ran his wrestling empire out of this city, with weekly matches at Turner’s Arena on W Street NW. And after college Vince and Linda moved up here to help out with the family ring business, and stayed with the company as it moved to Connecticut and became the global force it is today.

She's not the first Connecticutter to try to use wrestling as a springboard to Congress. Bob Backlund, a World Champion for the McMahons' federation, then called WWF, in the 1970s, tried running for a House seat in 2000 as a Republican. Backlund's campaign -- his second for public office, if you count the 1996 run for president as part of a WWF story line -- ended with him getting piledriven by his Democratic opponent.

Linda McMahon pledges her campaign is legit.

But, there's no way Vince is going to let this pass without adding a wrestling angle to it. No way.

***

Update on the Road to 100 Losses: Nationals get whupped in Philadelphia, 6-1.

The Nats scored their first and only run in two days in the top of the 9th, on a play the official scorer ruled "fielder's indifference."

Indifference in the Nats has spread to the opposition!

Good thing it's football season...

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

A random sampling of the comments, sics and all:

Mark: no one did thier job 8 hours ago

Wayne: Hall and Smoot need to learn how to wrap-up and stop ski-diving and the tackles. If they are scared to hit find somebody that will!!!!!! 4 hours ago

Mikhiel: They looked a hot mess!!! but they looked horrible as a team! I would definitely come up withsome major changes more than just qb like we tried during the summer! Yesterday at 5:18pm

(AFTER THE JUMP: And this is what Snyder’s FRIENDS are saying? Snyder buys Facebook? Federer does Don Beyer no favors? Kiddie Bias™ on the chessboard? Huge week for Asian Bias™ on the links? Back on track on the Road to 100 Losses™?)

Jason: Barry comments on point. But the the difference between us and the rest of the division is NO PASS RUSH. Yesterday at 5:43pm

Danny: HE NOT RIGHT QB FOR US 9 hours ago

Alphanso: Do some play action and gets some guys in motion 39 minutes ago

And, remember, this is what the Skins' friends are saying!

Geez. Guess this ain't the best week to open up a new forum for folks to tell you how they feel about you.

Judging by the tone of the fan base, the team should have instead signed on with inyourfacebook, where absolutely nobody's your friend.

Or, THIS JUST IN: Snyder Buys Facebook!

***

There is a local angle to Roger Federer's crumbling to Juan Martin Del Potro, whose last name, for those unfamiliar with the Romance languages, translates in English to "of the Potro." (Heck if that line hasn't been making me, and nobody else, chuckle since I was getting Ds in high school Spanish.)

Here it is: The loss is Federer's first in Flushing Meadows since Falls Church's greatest export, Don Beyer, was accidentally named Ambassador to Switzerland.

Federer's Swiss, right? Or is he Swedish?

Whatever. Beyer's now got his hands full undoing the damage Federer's loss does to US/Swiss/Swedish relations.

***

I learned a few years ago that chess is a young man's game. But this is silly: Jeevan Karamsetty of Reston came in second in the recent Virginia State Chess Championships. He's 10 years old.

Karamsetty sat out the final round and thereby forfeited a chance at winning the Richmond tournament, perhaps because he had to go home to get ready for grammar school the next day.

(My brother Geoff McKenna, a five-time champ and five times as old, finished 7th, no doubt wearing socks and underwear several years older than Karamsetty.)

***

Speaking of game biases... It's time for an Asian Bias™ Update:

Yet another massively Biased™. Shin Ji-yai takes the P&G Beauty Northwest Arkansas Championship title, her third LPGA tour win of the year. Ji-yai beat Yoo Sun-young, also Korean, on the second playoff hole.

And Tiger Woods, the Godfather of the Asian Bias™, wins the BMW Championship in Lemont, Ill., to regain the points lead in the PGA's FedEx Cup competition, a dumbass set-up that makes the BCS scoring system seem kindergartenish.

Just give the damn cup to Tiger. The Bias™, which came to the fore at this summer's AT&T National here, won't be denied!

***

Sure, following the evolution of this movie is getting to be like watching grass grow, but...Tonight in Bethesda, local filmmaker Mike Ratel is having another screening of the trailer of his undone documentary, "On Your Mark, Get Set, MOW!" which he describes as a "A tale of hope, redemption, and lawn mower racing."

The event is part of "Trailer Night" sponsored by the group Docs In Progress, and, as the name suggests, will feature a series of similarly unfinished projects.

Film starts rolling at 7pm at the Writers Center at 4508 Walsh Street.

***

The Nationals Road to 100 Losses™ stalled a bit with a few wins over the weekend over Florida. The Nats have been seven defeats away from the century mark since last week.

But their eyes should get back on the prize tonight, when they open up a series against division leading Philadelphia.

The Nats remain 12 1/2 games out of second-to-last place in the division, and have a 5 1/2 game lead over the Pirates in the race for Worst Team in the Majors, and the first-round pick that comes with that dishonor.

Awesome trivia: Only one team in either the AL or NL will finish with 100 wins for the 2009 season.

Yeah yeah...it's the Yankees.

***

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***

A near-miss must-read: "A Decade of Snyder the Decider," an interactive piece that came out this week on the Washington Post's site. An amazing amount of work and brainpower went into the feature. Everything you want to know about Dan Snyder's reign is right there in a few squared inches. You just have to click and click and click and click to get it.

But in the end this delivery system is totally unsatisfying to any football fan who likes to read about the game in a real sports page. It's the difference between listening to the White Album on vinyl through a tube amp while holding the double-LP's sleeve and fingering through all the sleeve-candy, or listening to the White Album through headphones and an iPod (if it were available on iTunes, that is).

(AFTER THE JUMP: Vick Chew Toy giveaway is real? Marv Throneberry trumps Cal? The Felds run Monster Trucks, too? Harvey Grant's kid follows in Adrian Dantley's footsteps? Mark Brunell's the Bill Graham of Christian rock? Nats countdown update?)

Another thing I'll never get past: You can't take a dump with it.

***

After reading an advertisement in yesterday's real Washington Post in which a dog rescue group offered to donate bags of food for every tackle of Michael Vick, I tried making a joke about an animal rights group's putting a bounty on the recovering dogfighter in the headline of my post: "And If You Break Michael Vick’s Leg, We’ll Throw in a Chew Toy!"

Well, as pointed out by a reader, turns out life imitates bad humor. The chew toy offer has already been made, minus the broken bones.

A group called Bark for Awareness will give away an Official Vick Dog Chew Toy™ to any dog-saving group for every touchdown the Eagles score this year. Go here to register for the freebies.

***

A DC sporting tradition is about to be restored: Jerian Grant, a son of ex-Bullet Harvey Grant, is going to play basketball at Notre Dame.

The DeMatha senior just gave a verbal commitment to the Notre Dame staff. And that puts Grant at the front of a long line of locals to make the same pledge.

From DeMatha alone, there's Bob Whitmore (Class of 1965), Sid Catlett ('67), and future NCAA player of the year and NBA Hall of Famer Adrian Dantley ('73). Other DC stars at Notre Dame over the years have included Austin Carr of Mackin, Tracy Jackson of Paint Branch, Gonzaga's Tom Sluby and Potomac of Oxon Hill's Monty Williams.

The Notre Dame bench, of course, also features head coach Mike Brey (DeMatha Class of '77) and his assistant, Rod Balanis (Class of '88).

***

Thom Loverro shows his Greatness with "Marv Throneberry's Number Stolen," a blog post inspired by the theft of the #8 monument earlier this week from Camden Yards.

Other writers have focused on another Oriole who had that number. To Loverro, it belongs to Marvelous Marv, the first famous, or infamous, O's player to sport it.

"Throneberry came to the Orioles in a trade with the Kansas City Athletics for Gene Stephens in the middle of the 1961 season," Loverro writes. "He would go on to play first base and hit five home runs and 11 RBI over 65 games in two half seasons. He was traded to the New York Mets in May 1962 for cash and a player to be named later, which turned out to be catcher Hobie Landrith."

And, oh, right: "Other Orioles who have worn number 8 include Andy Etchebarren and Cal Ripken," Loverro writes.

***

The Felds, who have been sort of the First Family of Fun for fifty years or so, have quietly become a force in big-league motorsports.

The now-Northern Virginia-based corporation was founded by Izzy and Irvin Feld, a pair of snake oil selling (really!) siblings from Hagerstown who got their DC empire started at Super Cut Rate Drugs, a pharmacy on 7th St. NW in Shaw. The Felds' production company went on to own Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus, Disney on Ice and High School Musical.

But in recent years the Felds have taken over control of big chunks of the motocross and monster trucks and drag racing realms. The corporation pulls strings for the International Hot Rod Association, among the world's premier sanctioning bodies for dragging. have just announced they have brought Virginia Motorsports Park, a drag strip in Petersburg, Va., back as a big league IHRA venue.

Of course, some folks are still a little peeved at the Felds for putting Buddy Holly on a tour of the Midwest in the winter of 1959 in a bus with no working heater, causing the young genius to lease an airplane and crash and die in an Iowa field, and then the Felds made the surviving rockers continue the tour rather than take a break to go to Buddy's funeral.

What would the world look like if only Buddy's bus had heat?

***

Mark Brunell and Dan Snyder are still doing some business: Over Labor Day, the Newsboys, a Christian rock group, played Six Flags America in Largo.

The Newsboys record for inPop Records, a Nashville label for godly groups co-owned by Brunell and other major figures in the controversial Every Nation Church.

Countdown to 100 Losses: Nats lose, 6-5, in Philadelphia. That puts the team's 2009 record at 47-92, just eight defeats away from the Century mark.

***

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The most interesting reading in the 14-page pullout comes in one of its few advertisements. Main Line Animal Rescue, a Philadelphia group that apparently specializes in saving "Bully Breeds" of dogs, bought space in the section.

The ad copy, placed alongside a photo of what I assume is a pit bull:

Attention Football Fans: Philadelphia is playing Washington on October 26.

Every time Michael Vick is tackled during the game, Main Line Animal Rescue will donate 5 bags of dog food to your local animal shelter.

"Because there are no second chances on an empty stomach."

Consider volunteering at your local shelter on the day of the game. Spend some time walking, or brushing, or bathing, or hugging a homeless Pit Bull.

Not exactly the bounty on players' heads that led to the famous "Body Bag Game" between the Skins and Eagles in 1990, but, still.

My sense is the outrage against Vick has waned so much and so fast that by the time the Eagles get to DC, there'll be a lot more talk about the wildcat offense than dog killing.

(By the way: The other ads in the Post's football section are: four small spots for imported car dealers, one for a job fair, and a half-pager, the biggest in the section) announcing a blowout chain saw sale. Men! Men! Men!)

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Wilbon already blames Snyder for lousy season? Kornheiser speaks no Snyder? Unseld whupped Yao's dad? The Asian Bias™ in golf affects White House visit? The Nats Countdown to 100 Losses starts now? Pedro Martinez already has more wins than most Nats?)

***

Back in the regular sports section, the Post runs a column, headlined "Hot Topic," that has  Michael Wilbon downgrading his record forecast for the 2009 Skins from 11-5 to 8-8. Wilbon says he ordered the recount because of his paper's fabulous series on the Redskins selling tickets to scalpers and suing down-on-their-luck grannies.

But where the heck did 11-5 come from in the first place?

***

Wilbon's PTI partner Tony Kornheiser restarted his radio show yesterday. I listened to most of the two-hour broadcast, but didn't hear any discussion of Dan Snyder's ticket issues. Far as I and Wilbon can tell, those are still the hottest topics in town. Kornheiser now works at WTEM-AM, owned by Snyder.

After Kornheiser's show, I flipped to rival sportstalker WJFK-FM, for Washington Post columnist Mike Wise's program, in time to hear Wise's sidekick say, "Call us if you hate the owner!"

WJFK isn't owned by Snyder.

***

The Bullets/Wizards are in China again. A delegation led by Wes Unseld, Gheorghe Muresan, Caron Butler and Randy Foye (a newcomer who is only less familiar in the provinces than in DC) showed up in Beijing to remember a pioneering barnstorming tour of the Far East arranged 30 years ago by Abe Pollin.

No team had ever been to China before the Bullets. Awesome trivia from Unseld: The former Great Wall of the Bullets' front line remembers playing all those years ago in Shanghai against Yao Ming's dad, a year before the future Houston Rockets center was born.

Pollin helped make the world a lot smaller than it was back then.

***

Which makes this a perfect time for an update on...the Asian Bias™ in Golf! Greg Norman, who was in town for a White House visit yesterday, sees that golf's future is in the East. The Australian legend is captaining the "International" squad in the upcoming (and always bogus) President's Cup, a silly nationalistic links exercise that was founded in Northern Virginia at the Lansdowne resort but will be held next month at Harding Park in San Francisco. While meeting with the president, Norman was taking a lot of stuff from golf fans for using his captain's choice to put Ryo Ishikawa, a 17-year-old from Japan, on the un-American President's Cup team. Ishikawa will join Y.E. Yang of Korea.

The USA squad's proof of the Asian Bias™ comes with Anthony Kim and, of course, Woods.

Last week, 17-year-old Byeong-Hun An of Seoul, South Korea, became the youngest golfer ever to win the 2009 U.S. Amateur championship. The tournament record for youth was previously held by Danny Lee, also a South Korean native, who was just 18 when he won the 2008  U.S. Amateur. Lee broke the record set by the Godfather of the Asian Bias™ in golf: Tiger Woods.

The 2009 U.S. Women's Amateur Championship was won recently by Jennifer Song of Daejon, Korea.

Cheap Seats Daily, intrigued as all get out by the Eastern dominance of what just yesterday was the lily-whitest sport in the history of man, promises to continue to hype the Asian Bias™ until Lou Dobbs treats our reports like real news.

***

The Nats lost to the Phils, 5-3.

Let the Countdown to 100 Losses begin! Washington is now 47-91, and would have to go 16-8 to avoid a third season in a row with triple-figure losses.

That ain't gonna happen: 18 of the remaining games are against teams above .500, including nine vs. either the Phillies or Dodgers.

Pedro Martinez got the win for Philadelphia. If memory serves, Martinez hadn't thrown a pitch this season before last week. But he now has a 4-0 record. Before yesterday's September call-ups, which included Shairon Martis (5-3 with the Nats prior to being sent to the minors), Washington had only one pitcher on the roster with more wins in 2009 than Martinez -- John Lannan, now at 8-10. Amazing...

***

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***

The Great Dan Steinberg posts a Great Video of Ryan Zimmerman talking up D.C. United to promote next week's U.S. Open Cup championship game.

You know the U.S. Open Cup, right? That's the one where to get to the finals United had to march through neighborhood powerhouses like the Ocean City (N.J.) Barons, the Harrisburg (Pa.) City Islanders, and the Rochester (N.Y.) Rhinos, in games played at a suburban community center field.

It appears that before the promo shoot Zimmerman hit the quaalude table in the green room hard.

Either that, or like the rest of the world he can't even fake enthusiasm for the U.S. Open Cup.

AFTER THE JUMP: Keith Urban fans don't know who Ryan Zimmerman is? There is no "I" in arson? Paul Farhi goes ground-and-pound on Dan Snyder? Nats win!? Nats win!?

(Speaking of Zimmerman: I went to see country superstar Keith Urban last week at Verizon Center. He changed the lyrics of one of his many hits to include "Nationals," and told the crowd he'd gone to see the Nationals play the night before and that he'd sat in seats provided by Ryan Zimmerman. The fan response to all Urban's Nats references was equal and, well, non-existent. It was sad. Urban might as well have talked up the U.S. Cup.)

(Speaking of urban: Perhaps the chance at living closer to the SoccerPlex, host of so many of United's U.S. Cup clashes, motivated Steinberg to abandon D.C. for the Maryland suburbs. Nothing else makes sense!)

***

Nobody shows up for class reunions like football stars. But what if you burned down your high school -- like, really burned it down? And what if your burning down your school meant your classmates had to spend most of their senior year shuttled around town to finish up at rival schools that weren't burned down by football stars?

Then, do you show up for your reunion?

Well, the Class of '79 at Fort Hunt High School held its 30-year reunion.

Matt Musolino didn't show, according to organizers.

Musolino was a star fullback on the 1978 Fort Hunt team that won the Gunston District title. His partner in the backfield, Rocky Belk, went on to star at Miami. Musolino was going to get a free ride to Louisiana Tech.

But then he burned down his school.

Musolino was one of three kids convicted of arson for the December 1978 fire that knocked Fort Hunt High out of commission. He told the Washington Post shortly after the trials that he went to his father's service station on Route 1 and got the gas for the molotov cocktails that they used to torch the school during a night of drinking over Christmas break. (Must have been something in the water in that area: In 1971, Fort Hunt Elementary was burned down by students, too.) To add a touch of Shakespeare to what was really just a dirtball prank gone horribly wrong: Musolino's uncle was a successful architect who had designed the school.

A million kids from our generation had probably boasted about burning down their school just like the Fort Hunt kids did --  That's the climactic scene in the Ramones' "Rock and Roll High School," ain't it? But these guys went out and did it.

I was a senior at Falls Church High the same year, and the burners were instant folk heroes among the dazed and confused adolescents in my small Northern Virginia circle.

But, don't try this at home, kids: These guys all got caught and did jail time, and they screwed up the lives of all their classmates, who had to finish the year at rival Groveton and never got to go back to Fort Hunt.

The other moral of Musolino's story, of course, is that if you do burn down your school, you won't show up for your 30-year reunion. Even if you were a football star.

***

Sally Jenkins' write-up of Little League World Series creepiness hit home with me. When I was in Little League, I practiced hard to be like Bert Blyleven. I didn't care to match the Twins' pitcher's famous curveball, Lord Charles I think they called it back then. No, I spent hours and hours trying to spit like Bert Blyleven spit from the mound during an NBC Game of the Week broadcast. And after a whole summer, I could shoot a stream of saliva a good distance without any noticeable movement of facial muscles, and without a sound. I still find myself spitting whenever I walk on grass fields. Sad but true.

Guess the ballplayers really are role models.

***

Also yesterday, Washington Post writer Paul Farhi's regular chat with his readers about local radio ("Station Break") turned into a head-to-toe bashing of all things Dan Snyder.

Farhi and his flock went after Lindsay Czarniak for wearing licensed Redskins apparel, after WRC for airing all those Redskins infomercials, after concession prices and parking and pretty much everything at FedExField, after management of Six Flags, after his deal with StubHub, etc.

It was less a chat than a stoning. And no stone was left unthrown.

By the time the Snyder crushing was over, there wasn't any time left to talk about radio.

But, if Snyder's looking for something to cling to, Farhi did have nice things to say about "Valkyrie." Now there's a zig instead of zag!

(Radio update Snyder might like: The must-surf dc media site DCRTV, meanwhile, posted a new batch of Portable People Meter radio rankings that show Snyder's WTEM beating rival new sportstalker WJFK. Tho, with WTEM in 19th place in the market, and WJFK the 20th most listened to station, neither's lighting up the market.)

***

Nats crush the next-to-last team to fire Jim Riggleman. I'm going on vacation.

***

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Yesterday, rumors broke that the team was going to boot Rizzo and hire the Diamondbacks' Jerry DiPoto. Nats fan boards lit up with pleas for management to keep Rizzo, who'd only just completed the Stephen Strasburg signing.

The Lerners are known for never giving a hoot about public opinion, but, coincidentally or not, it appears their decision and the fans' wishes will mesh here.

Then again, it could just be that Rizzo, already on staff as an assistant, comes cheaper than DiPoto would have.

***

In case you missed it: I wrote my own special Groundhog Column, about Spingarn football's newest new football coach, a piece I've written again and again over the years. The newest new guy to run the long-troubled program, Charlie McKie, takes over with clear eyes and a full heart. He's been coaching youth football in the city for nearly three decades, the last several years at Brown Middle School, so McKie knows Spingarn hasn't competed for the Turkey Bowl in a generation.

But someday, that's going to happen.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Madden dumps the Great Hoyas Hope? Are the Olympics ready for gender-non-specific track and field? Yandamonium™ returns already? Erin Andrews gets muddy?)

McKie, like all his predecessors at Spingarn and pretty much every D.C. public school coach I've ever interviewed, is a superhero to me. The stuff they put up with, well, don't get me started...

Full disclosure: We're pulling for Coach McKie and Spingarn!

***

I'm not the only one thinking Georgetown U's dry spell in the NFL will go on.

In their weekly updates, the game producers of Madden 10, while adding Michael Vick to the Eagles' roster and Brett Favre to the Vikings', have just taken the digital version of defensive lineman Alex Buzbee off the roster of the digital Redskins --- even though the real Buzbee hasn't yet been cut by the real Redskins.

"Too low on the depth chart" was the reason given for the move. On the web site of the real Redskins, Buzbee is currently listed as the fourth-team tackle.

No Hoya has played in the NFL since Jim Ricca, who was signed by the Redskins in 1951.

***

How would sportstalker Brendan Haywood deal with this story?

***

I have been feeling sorry for Steve Yanda, the Washington Post sportswriter who's been taking it in every orifice since last week, when he wrote the most viral lede in the history of the sports section: "In the coda of the Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor, composer Johann Sebastian Bach repeats the same chord sequence over and over again, leading the listener to anticipate one resolution, only to provide a tone completely different."

That was for a story about the Nationals beating the Diamondbacks for their 8th win in a row. Bet you couldn't tell!

But, anyway, that story created complete Yandamonium™. I usually only get emails about mortgage rates and penile implants, but three people sent me Yanda's Bach piece. He got ripped everywhere, even in his own paper, for his fuguing around in a game story.

Edward L. Jaffee of Springfield was among those whose Yanda-bashing letter-to-the-editor made it to print:

Steve Yanda took The Post's sportswriting to a new low. Not only did the reader have to go to the continuation on Page D6 to find out how the Nationals won, but Yanda's lead was, in effect, a tutorial on baroque music and has nothing at all to do with sports. My wife, a classical pianist, shared my perplexity at the report, saying it sounds as if the writer was simply strutting his knowledge of Bach. I agree. Not only that, but his analogy was tortured and wrong. The Nats had just won their eighth straight, coming from down 5-0 and 6-0 in the two previous games, so to hang the story on a hook of trailing by 1-0 after one inning was a stretch. Why not return to the cleaner writing of great Post sportswriters of the past, such as Shirley Povich, and at least give us the result and key factors in the game before going off on a feature writer's excursion?

The out-of-house treatment was rougher. Even Gary Williams had to cringe as he read former City Paper mastermind Tom Scocca show up on Deadspin to ground and pound on Yanda, who I've never met but I hear is as nice as he is young.

So, again, I've been feeling sorry for Yanda.

Then I read this in yesterday's Post. I was a few hundred words in before the story and the headline ("Long Journey Brings Morse Back to Majors") connected at all.

"Can't be Steve Yanda! Not so soon after FugueinCminorGate™,!" I said to myself, hoping against hope. "Steve Yanda," said the byline.

And, to twist Chrissy Hynde, my pity was gone.

(Hynde references are much more acceptable in sporting circles than Bach. Right, editors? What? No editors? Really? Oh...FugueinCminorGate™'s all starting to make sense! There but for the grace of god and any clue about classical music go I...)

***

Deadspin writes up Erin Andrews' new GQ spread. A genius commenter points out a conceptual flaw in the layout: "Q: How did her shoulder pads get so muddy?"

• Health care. Jesus Christ on toast with Marmite, am I ever sick of hearing about health care. Whole Foods---SHUT UP. Public option opponents---SHUT UP. Fox News---SHUT UP. Meanwhile, in British rationing news, I'm horrified to report that my wife's grandmother recently had to wait over an hour to be seen, mostly because the Edinburgh Council moved the Royal Infirmary from right across the Meadows all the way out to Little France, which is as far from the city center as it sounds. This is outrageous and would never happen in the United States, where there is no socialized medicine and never will be---SHUT UP.
• MEDIA NEWS! Battle of the Hottest rages on Capitol Hill. Jayson Blair is a life coach! City Paper's parent company begins its Week of Reckoning today! CEO tells Atlanta Journal-Constitution decision to buy CP and Chicago Reader was thoroughly vetted: "It wasn’t just me running over a cliff."

• THE WORLD OF SPORTS! Nats lose, lose acting GM, sell many seats for Friday night's game for $1. Morning Roundup will be there with eldest son, who will be limited to one dessert item purchase. Also exciting: Washington National Opera sent me a Nats hat and some Cracker Jack to promote its free simulcast of Barber of Seville at Nationals Park on Sept. 12. I may go to that, too! But I'm totally sneaking in the Cracker Jack on Friday. YOW! Also, Nascar full of Republicans. Aussi: Quel dommage!
• ENTERTAINMENT! 2009's worst album title. Weezer Advances. MTV maybe does, too.