"How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? --- AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders soap up and scrub down your car???"

Well? How would you like that?

Check out that ad!

It appears on the Web site for WTEM, Dan Snyder's sports talk station, to promote the latest listener contest. Top prize will bring the Redskins cheerleaders over to wash your car.

Kinda yucky?

The radio ads are just as outrageous, with panting males and all sorts of breathy talk of scrubbing and rubbing. The campaign is also just the latest evidence of Snyder's thing for cheerleaders. He took over the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders shortly after buying the team, and has increased their role in his global marketing scheme ever since.

The car wash campaign marks a new level of subservience for the Redskins Cheerleaders, and cheerleaders in general. The message is: "Put down your pom poms and grab a sponge!" That tells the world that Snyder can force his troupe to put on something skimpy and service Joe Sixpack.

Basically, Snyder's pushing a Madonna/Whore image for his cheerleaders.

Well, minus the Madonna.

(AFTER THE JUMP: More on the Redskins cheerleaders? Snyder is being called "Lord Farquaad"? PhotoGate update: Snyder really did censor Dan Steinberg? Isn't the Leonsis worship getting outta hand? Guaranteed Win Night proves AGAIN that it's a sure thing? Remember "The Sure Thing"?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: How Bad Is Dan Snyder Pimping the Redskins Cheerleaders?" »

Sally Jenkins goes after Dan Snyder like she'd invested in Six Flags. Her latest column reviews Snyder's historic star-struckitude and avoidance of personal accountability, and every paragraph is great and dead-on and brutal.

A sampling:

This is Snyder's team; he was intimately involved in assembling it. He keeps his favorite players on speed dial, watches practices on the sidelines and demands face time and explanations from the coaches he personally hired. Whatever you think of Zorn, he is Snyder's own selection. It was Snyder who told Joe Gibbs, "He would make a great head coach." He is personally responsible for naming Vinny Cerrato, a proven failure, executive vice president of football operations, for the Redskins' lack of core strength, for their inability to power the ball in the red zone, which is thanks to his decade of neglect of the interior lines in favor of big free agent signings.

But no sampling can do the column justice. It's all wondrous.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Reading recommendations? Nats give fans an unforgettable "Bang! Zoom!" when down to last strike? Thom Loverro says forget "Bang! Zoom!" Ted Leonsis says Caps better than Jesus? When's the wake for Hoop Dreams? Say it ain't so, Susie Kay?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Leonsis Says Caps Bigger Than Jesus?" »

How over are the Redskins?

So over that on WRC, Lindsay Czarniak did her sports report Sunday night without ANY visible Skins logos on her person. (Fact.)

So over that Sonny Jurgensen didn't tussle with Jim Zorn in his postgame interview. (Fact.)

So over that starting this week, the Virginia Lottery has changed first prize for its $20 Redskins scratch tickets to two (2) Redskins season tickets, and second prize to four (4) Redskins season tickets. (Fiction!)

Butt seriously:  What kind of buffoon is going to pay $20, the most heinous sum in the history of lotteries, for a chance to win Skins season tickets that pretty soon won't be worth $20? Commercials for the scratch tickets ran throughout the Redskins radio broadcast yesterday, and the uglier the game got, the more absurd the prizes  seemed. Who wants ANYTHING associated with the Redskins right now?

Coming soon to a courthouse near you: Dan Snyder sues lottery winners who turn down their Skins season tickets. (Fiction.)

But, good god, are the 2009 Skins over. (Fact.)

(AFTER THE JUMP: Skins' suckage is the lead local story? The national newspeople take break into Tiger Woods coverage to dump on the Skins? Jurgensen takes it easy on Zorn? Sam Huff can't stomach Albert Haynesworth? Will Haynesworth make everybody forget Dana Stubblefield? Bad news is good news for extremeskins.com? Who is this "Synder" fella? Nats get swept again? The Nats Tragic Number is down to what? It's hockey season?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Who the Hell Would Buy a Redskins Scratch Ticket Now?" »

For the print edition of City Paper, I wrote yet another column about Charles Mann and Art Monk's debacle in Anacostia. The former Redskins spent a decade promising that community a job training center, and then sold the proposed site for more than 10 times what they paid the city to obtain it.

One fascinating (to me) part of the story that I didn't get into for space reasons: While sitting on the Anacostia building over the years, Monk and Mann, joined by Darrell Green, lobbied the residents of Sursum Corda, a low-income housing development off North Capitol Street NW, to turn control of that woeful development over to them. The ex-teammates made their pitch to redevelop the property right after the murder of 14 year-old Jahkema Princess Hansen. They did not get the job.

For both the Anacostia and Sursum Corda projects, Monk and Mann used the Bennett Group, a DC-based development firm headed by LuAnn Bennett, wife of a longtime Congressman, Rep. Jim Moran (D-Va.).

Congress gave the Good Samaritan Foundation at least $775,000 in grants for the training center project.

The Bennett Group's slogan, which pops up every now and then on the firm's web site: "The bottom line for Bennett Group is value. For us, that means delivering projects on time and on budget, without compromising on quality."

That adage doesn't really jibe with what went on at the Carver Theatre site.

***

(AFTER THE JUMP: Capitals announcer blows off Falls Church High School Reunion for Fan Fest? Anacostia High has chance at Worst Season in DC High School History? Will Eastern and Spingarn keep Anacostia from their date with destiny? The Nats no longer need to consult Mapquest on the Road to 100 Losses?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Caps Announcer Blows Off High School Reunion to Be With the Fans!" »

Even in the NFL, employees take their cue from the boss. So all the Redskins are feeling persecuted these days.

"Our media have been our harshest critics," whined Mike Sellers during his media session yesterday.

He's the fullback who dropped what would have been a touchdown pass from Jason Campbell in Sunday's game with the Rams.

Sellers' comments, which were aired repeatedly on WTEM-AM, Snyder's sportstalk station, and rival WJFK-FM, also included a rant about how one of his Redskins coaches told the players that reporters in other towns where he'd coached were much better cheerleaders than DC's.

"Instead of boosting you," Sellers said of local scribes, "they kind of tear you down."

If you make a touchdown catch, Mike, I bet even some folks around here will write that you made a touchdown catch.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Now Cooley's whining, too? Portis admits a day at FedExField is money well wasted? Should Olie Kolzig have waited until NHL training camps opened before retiring? What? NHL training camps are open? Have you spent your Guaranteed Win Night winnings yet? Adam Dunn and Ryan Zimmerman, the sluggingest sluggers in DC baseball history? So it's the pitching?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Portis Wants You to Get Your $700 Worth?" »

PICK UP A PAPER! We're trying a new cover design thingy. E-mail me what you think, and CC: the Sexist!

Does anyone now what kind of mushroom this is? E-mail me, and CC: the Sexist! Do you like real mushrooms, or do you prefer mushrooms made of gourds? It is America! You don't have to choose!)

AMAZING story by Paul Duggan this morning about horrorcore rap, goth, murder, and part-time preaching. In Farmville, Va.! (Hey Spin, 2009 called and it wants 1999 back! Get Mark Schone! Get Mike Rubin to do a sidebar! Get me if those guys are busy! It's time to get the band back together!)

After the jump: No way lynching this Census employee related to carefully stoked nutball rage; Caps, Nats win; Terry Wogan standing next to a cake of Terry Wogan.

Read More "Morning Roundup: The Magic of Fall Edition" »

Today's Washington Post has a multi-media package about the street hockey community that has hung out on Pennsylvania Avenue NW since the strip in front of the White House was closed in 1995.

The piece comes out just as President Obama's getting verbally cross-checked by Capitals fans for talking up Alex Ovechkin in Russia despite never having gone several blocks east to the Verizon Center to see him play.

The article makes no mention of the evil-doer responsible for shutting down that pristine patch of asphalt: Tim McVeigh, who also happens to be the biggest mass murderer America has ever convicted.

Read More "Tim McVeigh, the Father of DC Street Hockey?" »

Jason La Canfora goes to work for Dan Snyder?

That's essentially what Pro Football Talk is saying. According to the site, La Canfora has been hired away from the Washington Post by the NFL Network, the future cable powerhouse owned by the NFL, which is run by the NFL owners, none brasher than Snyder.

On some levels, the departure was inevitable. La Canfora was good enough at his job, as the Post's Skins beat writer and the force behind Redskins Insider, the paper's most popular sports blog, to cause the Skins organization to launch a campaign against him. Snyder's message board, extremeskins.com, his media mouthpiece, Larry Michael, and his, well, everything else, Vinny Cerrato, all went crazy trying to attack La Canfora.

Michael had "The Sourcerer," a silly feature used on a Skins cable TV show to belittle everything La Canfora wrote. And then things got really ugly when Snyder gave Cerrato, who would "no comment" every question from La Canfora for his Post stories, a radio show on the sports station he owns, WTEM. Cerrato railed against the beat writer as soon as he got on the air.

The lowpoint of the feud came with Cerrato and Michael accusing La Canfora of tattling to the NFL in hopes of getting the league to launch a tampering investigation of the Redskins. (Tampering? Snyder?)

La Canfora fought ugliness with ugliness, calling Cerrato a liar and mocking the organization in emails to detractors. As predicted in this space many times, the beat wasn't big enough for both Cerrato and La Canfora to stay on another season.

Cerrato kept his football job, though the radio gig was such a disaster it can't come back. So it's La Canfora heading off, leaving writing for talking, as all typists aspire to do.

But, working for Snyder?

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily:Will Dan Snyder Sign La Canfora’s Paychecks? Is Joe Biden the Anti-Arnold?" »

A Florida couple busted for running a major steroid operation and selling to pro athletes named the Nats and the Caps as two teams that availed themselves of their services, but they didn't name names.

That leaves anyone the Washington Times has so far got on the horn to speculate. Officially, of course, there's no comment other than, "We'll get to the bottom of this."

But Caps enforcer Donald Brashear has weighed in: "We get tested two, three times a year and there's never been anybody who's tested positive....Was [Thomas] supplying this year? Was it a few years ago when there was no testing...to tell you the truth, if there was, I didn't know. There's no sign of anybody I know who used steroids."

Former Cap and current Panther Steve Eminger is similarly incredulous his former teammates doped up. "No, never, not once---[steroids were] never talked about once...I don't know, you see guys. Guys aren't extremely ripped or anything."

So who's got the Florida hookup then?

Around 6:45 p.m. EST, Ryan Zimmerman grounded into a fielders choice in his fifth and final hitless plate appearance in San Francisco. His hitting streak, the best of the few reasons to pay attention to the Nationals this season, was done at 30 games.

A little after 7:30 p.m., a shot from Pittsburgh's Sergei Gonchar goes off bodies in front of the net and Sidney Crosby pushes the loose puck in. Eight seconds of playing time later, Penguin Craig Adams scores his first career playoff goal. It's 2-0, but the game, series and season feel over.

In one rotten hour, what had been a fab month in local sports was over.

When's Redskins camp open?

***

Ted Leonsis always talks about the "10-step plan" that the Caps have been following. He means the rebuilding scheme that got them to verge of a conference final for the first time in 11 years.

But last night, an early victim of his plan came back to bite him.

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: The End of Days" »

Sports Illustrated released Top 5 best/worst owners lists for all the major sports. Our town's fabulously represented, though only on the dark side.

First off: Ted Leonsis somehow wasn't included among hockey's best. If there's ever been a more beloved sports owner in this town than Leonsis circa 2009, I can't remember him.

Hard to believe it's only been five years since Leonsis was brawling with home fans at Caps game, eh?

But he was. Days after he unloaded Jaromir Jagr and his $11 million salary to the Rangers in January 2004 in the midst of a talent purge, a 20-year-old season ticket holder named Jason Hammer brought a sign to the then-MCI Center that said "Caps Hockey, AOL Stock -- See a Pattern?"

Hammer sat among a group of fans heckling the owner, and waved the placard at Leonsis throughout the game. Leonsis got so incited he went after the kid in the concourse after the final horn. The account of the incident in the Washington Post said Leonsis "grabbed [Hammer] by the neck and threw him to the ground."

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Best Owner List Shocker: Leonsis Left Off! Worst Owner List Non-Shocker: Snyder, Lerners Left On!" »

"THERE WILL BE A GAME 7 AT VERIZON CENTER!"

That's how Caps' play-by-play man Steve Kolbe ended his awesome call of David Steckel's game winner last night from Pittsburgh.

Nothing like OT playoff hockey on the radio.

The game started lousy for the eventual winners. At the end of the 1st period, with the Caps down 1-0 and trailing the Penguins in shots on goal 18-5, the Kolbe and, particularly, his booth partner Ken Sabourin, sounded resigned to a bad ending.

"The Penguins got help from the official on that one. Check's in the mail!" said Sabourin after Kris Letang's goal gave Pittsburgh a 3-2 lead early in the third period. His point was that a referee had deflected the puck right to Letang, and was clearly on the take.

"Check's in the mail!" is what you want from the home crew!

The Caps scored twice over the next 88 seconds.

Steckel's shot snapped the franchise's long losing streak in playoff overtime games and kept 'em alive to tighten up the 1-7 record in playoff series with Pittsburgh.

But, that's the past. Once again: Doesn't this year just feel different?

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Caps and Zimmerman Live Another Day" »

As first rumored on DCRTV, Brian Mitchell has been let go by sportstalk station WTEM-AM.

That means Mitchell's now ex-employer was Dan Snyder.

The same guy has fired the same guy before.

In 2000, Snyder's first offseason of running the Redskins, Mitchell, the team's all-time punt return and kickoff return leader, was let go.

In Thom Loverro's 2007 book, Hail Victory: An Oral History of the Washington Redskins, Mitchell insinuated he got run out of town because he was disliked by Snyder's favorite Redskin, Darrell Green.

That's sorta interesting again, because the owner's pet these days, Clinton Portis, got in a big to-do over the airwaves with Mitchell last year over things the host said about his attitude and play.

Portis and Snyder were recently spotted dining together at N9NE Steakhouse in Vegas.

Vegas!

And now Snyder banishes Mitchell again!

Hmmm.

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Dan Snyder and Satan" »

For the first time since the Natinals scandal, the natinal media paid attention to our baseball team yesterday.

Folks only took notice, alas, because our boys were in L.A. while the Dodgers learned they'd be an odd Manny out. For a long time.

Looks like Manny Ramirez took some sort of estrogen. So Manny was just being Womanny?

In any case, it's gonna cost him...50 games and $7 million!!! (That's a lot for baseball: The most heinous on-field act in baseball history came in 1965, when SF Giant Juan Marichal pounded on Dodger catcher Johnny Roseboro's helmetless head with a baseball bat -- though I guess in this context simply "with a bat" would work -- and Marichal only got a nine-day suspension and a fine of $1,750.)

So for now, it looks like the Mount Rushmore of baseball's Dead Balls Era™ would be Manny, A-Rod, Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds.

Between 'em, there's 49 All-Star game appearances, 11 MVP awards and over half-a-billion in salaries.

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Nats Take Advantage of Odd Manny Out!" »

Awesome Capitals trivia from play-by-play man Steve Kolbe: After last night's OT loss in Pittsburgh, Kolbe related that the Caps have never won a Game Three in any best-of-seven playoff series. The team's been around 35 years! How's that possible? (Apparently it's NOT possible!)

Awesome Capitals trivia about play-by-play man Steve Kolbe: The franchise has had only two play-by-play announcers in its long history, Ron Weber (1974-1997) and Kolbe (1997-).

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Speaking of consistency: Awesome trivia about the Redskins: During the offseason, the Skins have now signed Jaison Williams, Mike Williams, Roydell Williams, Eddie Williams and Edwin Williams.

After reading yesterday's Washington Post opus on local-product Edwin "Don't Call Me Eddie" Williams's family's drug problems (we're told his folks "traveled up and down the East Coast in search of cocaine." Really? Why? Did DC run out?), I'm pretty sure everybody named Williams has a hard-luck tale.

Me, I'm rooting hardest for Mike Williams, who used to weigh 400 pounds. He's on a biggest-loser style weight loss plan, I learned in a previous installment from the paper's series, Opuses on Guys Named Williams and Their Hard-Luck Tales.

Too bad, cuz if Big Mike wasn't watching his waist he and his new teammates could open a burger joint and name it, um, how 'bout Five Guys Named Williams? (Mark Moseley wouldn't dare sue fellow Skins!) The team also has four Smiths, three Thomases and two Montgomerys.

But just one Vinny!

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Awesome trivia about the new Detroit mayor, Dave Bing:

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Third Time’s Not Charmed for the Caps" »