The highlight of last night's lousy BCS game was the Gatorade shower gone awry. Alabama coach Nick Saban almost went down after taking a huge hit from two surely former players who ran into him with a tub full of beverage.

Local football fans already knew how dangerous the Gatorade shower can be: That's what killed Bruce Allen's dad, former Redskins Coach George Allen.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Can Mike Shanahan make "mastermind" good again? All the Redskins losses are bad for the bars? The great Dave Kindred loves the Washington Times? And shows his love by slamming the Washington Post? Didn't Dave Kindred work for the Washington Post? Didn't Dave Kindred write a book about the Washington Post? Isn't Dave Kindred right about the Washington Post? Caron Butler has a stuck-up coat drive? Caron Butler hasn't heard Dolly Parton's "Coat of Many Colors"? Maryland Governor declares big day for one of state's football teams?)

***

One good thing about the signing of Mike Shanahan: We now have a chance to rescue "mastermind" from the bad guys.

Ever since 9/11, I've only seen "mastermind" used in relation to somebody behind a bad deed.

Every mention of Osama bin Laden is accompanied by "mastermind," for example. Khalid Sheik Mohammed is a "confessed mastermind"—hell, in the old days, who wouldn't confess to that? By now pretty much everybody else with an Islamic-sounding name has also been labeled as a "mastermind" for some sort of evil-doing. It's trickled down so far that even Iraqi grandmother Samira al-Jassem earned the "mastermind" tag after being accused of involvement in Baghdad bombings. I'm sure somebody's already called the guy who put a cherry bomb in his underwear a mastermind. Remember: If we only use "mastermind" with terrorists, only terrorists will be masterminds.

Now Shanahan can bring benevolence back to the word. His nickname while coaching the Denver Broncos to Super Bowl wins in the 1990s was "The Mastermind." That used to be a cool nickname.

One more Super Bowl, Mike, and it'll be cool again.

***

On the day that Dan Snyder hired Shanahan and allegedly turned over a new leaf, a big black truck was spotted cruising around Bethesda slamming everybody's least favorite sports owner. Big commercial magnets on the vehicle touted "Redskin Fans Against Dan Snyder" and urged locals to join in an anti-Snyder movement on Facebook.

"Yeah, that's my truck," says Alan Pohoryles. He's the founder of RFADS, a group hoping to depose Snyder that Pohoryles says he concocted after the Skins' loss to Kansas City early in the 2009 season, one of the year's many debacles.

Pohoryles and his group got a lot of media attention right away, as the vitriol against the owner inspired a protest-laden Prague Spring for Redskins fans. Eventually 14,000 fans signed up with RFADS, he says.

But things have slowed down quite a bit since Snyder got rid of Vinny Cerrato. And with the arrival of big guns Allen and Shanahan, much of Redskins Nation has given up the fight and reverted to the same sort of postseason hopefulness that Snyder has inspired and exploited since taking over the team in 1999.

Not Pohoryles.

"I'm going to keep [the anti-Snyder magnets] on the truck," he says. "Nobody's asked me to take them down this week. I'd love to believe [Snyder] that he's going to let Shanahan and Allen do their job. And if he really does that I'll shut down the group. But it's just really hard to believe that he is. His ego will get the best of him and he'll probably continue to stick his nose where it doesn't belong. We've been through all this before."

Along with being a Snyder basher, Pohoryles owns Tommy Joe's, a Bethesda bar. He says Snyder's tenure as owner has hurt him as a fan and a businessman.

"I remember how full the bars around here would get when the Redskins were good," he says. "They're not like that anymore."

***

Dave Kindred puts together "Fifty more dos and don’ts on sportswriting" for the blog of Indiana University's National Sports Journalism Center. Some of Kindred's tips are old-school gold. Among my faves:

"33. Never trust a high school program’s spellings."

Wait? There was a time when spelling mattered? Oh, right...

But a couple other tips stand out for another reason. Kindred, who's really, really nice, uses two tips to praise the Washington Times' defunct sports section, but he takes breaks while doling out that praise to throw haymakers at the Washington Post's.

22. Do what the Times did, tell us the emperor has no clothes. When I moved to the Washington area 12 years ago I was as near to the ordinary reader as I ever will be. This ordinary reader saw a difference between the sports sections of the Times and The Washington Post, especially in coverage of the Redskins. The Post genuflected at the feet of the boy emperor, Dan Snyder. The Times saw him as a football incompetent. Dan Daly first cast Snyder as a fantasy-football owner eager to collect big names. Daly wrote, "Whether or not it helps the Redskins get to the Super Bowl, signing Deion Sanders sure looks good. Just as signing Bruce Smith, Mark Carrier and Jeff George looked good. We have entered the Age of Appearances at Redskin Park. A player acquisition is only as good as its buzz – and buzz emanates, at least in part, from reputation and name recognition and things that don’t have anything to do with winning football games."

23 When you nail the truth, keep it nailed. Dan Daly did that for a decade of Snyder’s failures. His colleagues Dave Elfin and Rick Snider beat the Post so often with such effectiveness that even an ordinary reader came to believe that the bigger paper avoided stories that would irritate the boy emperor.

These slams are powerful, since Kindred's career as one of the best sportswriters in the history of history includes a long stint as a Washington Post columnist.

He wrote one of the most famous sports columns in the paper's history. Check out his lede for a column previewing the 1983 Redskins-Dolphins Super Bowl, published on the morning of the game:

LOS ANGELES, Jan. 29 — Make it Washington 27, Miami 17.

Half a day after that column hit the streets, the Skins beat the Dolphins, 27-17. Yup, Kindred called the game down to the exact score. 'Course, he could write at least as good as he could tout Super Bowls. Kindred has just finished a book about his old paper, Morning Miracle: Inside the Washington Post, which is scheduled to come out in July.

And that makes his recent anti-Post sorties all the odder. 'Course, if Kindred's slams about the Post's sucking up to Snyder only apply to the George Solomon years, then, hell, truth is a fine defense.

(Full disclosure: I freelance music reviews for the Washington Post, and in 2000 got fired by Solomon, who I really like, from a weekly gig covering horse racing for the paper's sports section for writing a column in Washington City Paper about Tony Kornheiser.)

***

Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley has declared today Purple Friday throughout the state, in honor of the Ravens' upcoming playoff appearance. There is, of course, another NFL team that plays its games in O'Malley's jurisdiction. And since he grew up in the D.C. area and went to high school at Gonzaga, he'd probably love to have decreed that public servants working under him wear Redskins colors, and to turn the state's official Web site into those shades, as he's done today for Baltimore's team. Alas, O'Malley never got the chance to authorize a maroon-and-black day...

***

While teammates are playing dangerous games and throwing away their careers, Caron Butler, he of the Wizards Big Three Two, still puts his name to good things. Last month he sponsored a charity basketball tournament at Coolidge. This weekend, Butler gets behind "Caron's Coats for Kids Drive," the fourth such coat collection effort in his years as a Wizard. Folks who bring a coat to the Verizon Center on Sunday will get a pass to meet Butler after that day's game with New Orleans. I gotta say, there is one sorta off-putting thing about this event: Only "brand new coats" will be accepted, according to organizers, with "brand new" being put in quotes and underlined throughout the announcement whenever coats are mentioned.

I've never put on a charity drive like this or done anything nice for anybody, so I guess these things attract clowns who turn in useless crap to get freebies in return, but, still: Who has "brand new children's coats" lying around?

If this is really to help "local school children" who are in trouble, why wouldn't you just take every damn coat? Haven't these people heard Dolly Parton's "Coat of Many Colors"?

***

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After the jump, the morning roundup I was working on before I read that.

Copenhagen! Copenhagen! The eyes of the world are on Copenhagen, or as I like to call it whilst I warm a snifter of brandy and ruffle my Great Dane's neck folds, "Old Zealand."

David Corn is in Copenhagen. The veteran correspondent reports that an Obama insider tells him the administration "had no intention of announcing any concrete pledges for long-term climate funding." UPDATE: "On Thursday morning, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton appeared at the climate summit and announced that the United States would contribute to a $100 billion international fund starting in 2020"—this is in the same item! Help me out here, David Corn!

ALSO IN COPENHAGEN: Evo Morales, who may be a Scientologist. And! Dyrlægens natmad, the "veterinarian's midnight snack." I know which I'd rather try!

HEALTH CARE! Many people are upset about the compromises involved in getting a piece of legislation through the American congress system. Keith Olbermann, for instance. And Howard Dean. If you are in favor of health care reform, you may find this debate interesting. Seriously, no snark.

THE WORLD OF SPORTS: Baseball, maybe reforming itself. PLUS: Holy crap! Vinny Cerrato resigned!

Lamont Peterson finally goes for a world title this weekend. He'll be fighting Timothy "Desert Storm" Bradley for the WBO Junior Welterweight belt on Saturday in Rancho Mirage, Calif.

I'll be rooting for for Lamont. Hard. I first encountered him in late 2001, when he and his brother, Anthony Peterson, trained in a furnace room in the basement of Lincoln Junior High School in Columbia Heights. They worked out there five nights a week along with the Headbangers, a youth boxing team run by Barry Hunter.

Lamont and Anthony were far and away the best fighters in the club, so they had to slug it out with each other during sparring time of the team's nightly workouts.

The setting was hot and damp and stinky and macho as hell, but the kids were all business. The Petersons had a rough and touching back story, with lots of familial dysfunction that left the brothers depending on each other and Coach Hunter just to survive. They looked at boxing as their only hope. The older brother by a year, Lamont, then nearly 18, had dropped out of school. He told me his only goals were to turn pro and "win a world championship." I asked what he'd do if that didn't happen. He had no idea, though eventually he said maybe he'd try to "be a carpenter." I'd never been around athletes who trained harder. Still haven't.

I've followed Lamont and Anthony's careers since then, through world amateur tournaments and Olympic tryouts and undefeated runs as pros. Lamont is 27-0; Anthony's 29-0 and awaiting his turn at a championship. Boxing ain't a realm where loyalty is king, but the undefeated brothers have kept Hunter as their trainer through the years.

Bradley, the incumbent champ, is 24-0. Saturday's fight headlines a live card on Showtime. That's a long way from that furnace room.

(AFTER THE JUMP: The New York Times nails Dan Snyder? Marty Schottenheimer nails Vinny Cerrato? Mike DeBonis nails the Redskins future? Snyder and Cerrato want Jimmy Clausen to replace the current J.C. at QB? Mel Kiper, Redskins GM?)

***

Fabulous summary of the goings on at Redskins Park by Mike Tainer of the New York Times in his NFL round-up column:

The Redskins have lost their past three games by 7 total points and have a respectable 87 points in four games. It’s a sign that Jason Campbell is coming around, that young receivers like Fred Davis and Devin Thomas have potential, and that someone in their play-calling daisy chain knows what he’s doing. That means it’s time for Dan Snyder to blow everything up.

The whole world gets it!

***

A couple weeks ago, killing time between emergency meetings on how to save the newspaper industry, I was talking about who could save the Redskins with the brilliant Mike DeBonis. He threw out the name Marty Schottenheimer.

Sounded so right right away: Schottenheimer's the only guy left that could buy Dan Snyder some credibility around here. Mike Shanahan, who is most-mentioned when naming Jim Zorn's replacement, left Denver as a loser, and has no cachet around here. The reputation of Schottenheimer, however, has grown by leaps ever since Snyder admitted he ran him outta town because the coach wouldn't let the owner have enough fun.

We all know now what Schottenheimer had to put up with at Redskins Park, but he had a team of no-names playing 8-3 football after a woeful start, in which he had to play Jeff George at quarterback to please Snyder. And, he's remembered as the only guy who could get rid of Vinny Cerrato: Schottenheimer banished Cerrato to ESPN soon after being hired to replace Terry Robiskie.

Now, DeBonis' hypothesized Schottenheimer return looks genius. Snyder's into bringing folks back: Joe Gibbs, Cerrato, Mr. Six, etc...is onto something.

If he does come back, he'd surely get rid of Cerrato pronto. In response to reports that Snyder and Cerrato were scouting college players together again, including Notre Dame's Jimmy Clausen, here's Schottenheimer talking about the Skins' personnel set-up, taken from Sirius Radio via the Redskins Insider blog:

"I've said for a long time, in my opinion the problem down there — obviously it starts at the top with Dan — but [the problem] is Cerrato. I don't particularly respect the guy. He and I had our issues when we were there. Basically what he said was, 'Marty, Dan may be listening to you during the preseason,' he says. 'But wait until I get up in the owner's box during the regular season, and then we'll see who Dan listens to.'

"Now how's that? How's that? And of course, he was gone within the week but re-hired shortly after I departed. So now, Dan, he's made his choice [some] time ago, but I'm not a big fan of Cerrato and his work."

Schottenheimer's radio show is called "The Red Zone." Vinny Cerrato's radio show on Snyder's sportstalker is called "Inside the Red Zone." And "Red Zone" is the same name Snyder took for the investment fund he assembled — and landed Cerrato and Karl Swanson as investors — for the disastrous Six Flags venture, which has indeed, using Wall Street lingo, been a zone full of red since Snyder took over.

This morning, Cerrato talked up Clausen himself, and brought on Mel Kiper to talk up Clausen.

Sorry, Jason Campbell. There'll be another J.C. as Skins QB.

Hell, while we're looking into our crystal balls: Look for Snyder to bring in Mel Kiper to replace Cerrato. Tell me that move doesn't sound like him!

***

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Today the courts are featuring the episode about Jackie Robinson's 1947 integration of baseball. As many times as I've seen it, damn, it's still good.

The jury pool, meanwhile, is only slightly more racially integrated than the 1946 Brooklyn Dodgers.

From what I read, that's been a problem for a while.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Did Dave Donovan used to cover Vinny Cerrato as a media man? D.C. Armor might be one and done, but NFL dreams still alive for its players? D.C. Council to recognize 1954 public school all-stars? Does that mean you're going to write about the 1954 public school all-stars again? Mike Locksley really is landing DCIAA talent all the way to New Mexico?)

***

He was born in a small town. The Daily Times-Herald of Carroll, Iowa, which Dave "Yeah, That' the Ticket!" Donovan once delivered, writes up another profile of a favorite son: the former newspaper boy turned newspaper basher (and Redskins chief operating officer).

The inspiration for the latest piece is outlined in the lede:

Kuemper Catholic High School alum David Donovan, The Washington Redskins top in-house attorney, recently received high-profile billing in a Wall Street Journal story about the team.

Not many folks from Carroll get ink in the Journal.

There's also this bio information:

As a youth David worked as a paperboy here at the Daily Times Herald and also spent time in this newspaper's circulation department. He worked for the former Sernett's department store as well.

At KCHS, Donovan was student council president and editor of the student newspaper, The Charger.

Donovan earned his bachelor's degree in 1980 from Iowa State University in journalism and political science. During his time at Iowa State, Donovan interned for the Daily Times Herald, covering general news and sports under the tutelage of former sports editor Dennis O'Grady.

Kind of humanizes Donovan, a guy who can use some humanizing after all the whoppers he's told this season — the Redskins banned signs for safety reasons, fans aren't acting any differently this season, etc. — in a miserable attempt to protect boss Dan Snyder.

That part about being an Iowa State sportswriter way back when bears greater scrutiny. Being a 1980 grad, that means there was a great chance Donovan was covering the Cyclones when they had a young quarterback named Vinny Cerrato.

The Redskins are being run by the Ames Mafia!

I ask again: What did D.C. ever do to Iowa State to deserve this?

***

Turns out the DC Armor, in the team's brief existence, indeed kept some dreams alive. The Philadelphia Eagles have just signed fullback Joel Gamble to their practice squad. Gamble's recent football background came indoors, with the DC Armor this past season. Here's a highlight.

The Armor, after one season playing before crowds slightly smaller than those the Bremers used to draw at the Grog & Tankard, have reportedly decided to pack it in. The team's website, however, urges fans to "Stayed tuned for the 2010 Season."

***

City Council Chair Vince Gray and Councilman Harry Thomas have introduced a resolution honoring the 1954 D.C. Public School High School All-Star football team.

That's the first integrated team in the DC's schoolboy sports history.

The D.C. All-Stars beat Catholic League powerhouse and all-white St. John's, 12-7, at Griffith Stadium on Dec. 4, 1954. That game has been ignored far too long. So, the more attention the merrier.

***

DCSportsFan.com reports that Coolidge football wideouts Martize Barr and Josh Ford will go to New Mexico to play for Mike Locksley.

Locksley has earned a reputation as one of the top recruiters in college ball over the last decade by funneling DC's best players into whatever program is paying him. He landed Vernon Davis when he was an assistant at Maryland and his brother Vontae Davis when he was offensive coordinator at Illinois.

Both Davises, who grew up in Petworth and played for Craig Jefferies powerhouse Dunbar teams, are now in the NFL. Arrelious Benn, another Dunbar star who was recruited nationally, also went to Illinois to play for Locksley, as did H.D. Woodson QB Eddie McGee.

New Mexico gave Locksley his first head coaching job after last season, and very little has gone smoothly since.Last May, an employee of the New Mexico athletic department accused Locksley with age and sex discrimination. That case was dropped.  Then early in this football season, Locksley got in a fight with an assistant coach that turned physical. He was briefly suspended without pay for that incident.

I spoke with the Davis Brothers a few months ago, and asked if they thought Locksley would be able to work his recruiting magic at such an outta-the-way locale. They said: Sure he will.

"Oh, he's going to bring talent that New Mexico has never seen before now," laughs Vontae. "Let me tell you that!"

Looks like he's right. Last offseason, he landed Coolidge's highly pursued quarterback/receiver tandem of Emmanuel Yeager and Derrell Person.

Yeager later left the team, however, after an arrest in Albuquerque for something called "concealing identity."  He had been pulled over for speeding and told the police that his name was "Emmanuel Yeastraiv." Not quite as catchy as the handle used by Michael Vick's herpes-friendly alter-ego, "Ron Mexico" — though "Ron New Mexico" would have worked well, all things considered.

But "Yeastraiv" seems pretty worldly for a D.C. kid to come up with in the clutch.

Yeastraiv, having reverted back to Yeager, played for Bowie State this season.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

courtesy of D.C. Sports Bog

Dan Snyder and Vinny Cerrato, the poster children of the Prague Spring for Redskins fans, have been dubbed "Dumb" and "Dumber" in much of the agit prop that Redskins security has worked so hard to keep out of FedExField.

Awesome trivia: In "Dumb and Dumber," 1994 movie that informs the insurgency, there's a character named "Karl Swanson."

Really. You can look it up.

And in real life, as outlined by Paul Farhi in today's Washington Post, there's a Karl Swanson who's the third wheel in the Snyder/Cerrato continuum. (Full disclosure: I'm briefly in the story.) The flesh-and-blood Swanson has been Snyder's spokesperson since before he took over the Redskins. Swanson and Cerrato are the longest-tenured Skins staffers in the Snyder regime. They ride golf carts with the boss, and Swanson drives.

I don't know Karl Swanson much at all, but over the years he has returned a huge percentage of my phone calls and emails, even though long ago he grasped the likelihood was that Snyder wasn't going to come out great in whatever City Paper wrote about him. So I've come to admire Swanson a good bit. He's got the toughest job in Washington.

But dang if I didn't giggle when I Googled upon the "Dumb and Dumber" character  with his name. Makes his voyage to Redskins Park seem like destiny.

Six Flags' reorganization is nowhere near complete, and god only knows what's beneath the surface of this debacle. But from the sound of things, when all's said and done Snyder will still be chairman of Six Flags board of directors when that company comes out of bankruptcy.

How can this be? In Snyder's world, what do you have to do to lose your job?

One small aspect of the fiasco: Would somebody PLEASE explain to me how Snyder was allowed to pay a whopping $175 million for Dick Clark Productions using private equity money from Red Zone Capital, a fund he controls, then turn around and sell 40 percent of Dick Clark Productions to Six Flags, using public equity money, which he also controlled? And Snyder did this deal, remember, in 2007, while Six Flags was on the way to the bottom and he was already blaming the company's woes on its billions of dollars of debt.

Snyder made the Dick Clark Productions sale around the time he made a licensing deal between Johnny Rockets, another Red Zone-owned company and controlled by Snyder, and Six Flags. Again, would SOMEBODY please explain to me how that's allowed?

I mean, I make a lot of fun of Lindsay Czarniak and Dan Hellie working for Snyder's Redskins Broadcast Network and WRC News at the same time. And that really does bug me. But Czarniak and Hellie's conflict of interest ain't a hair off the ass of the conflict of interest Dan Snyder had in dealing with himself during Red Zone's sale of a huge chunk of Dick Clark Productions to Six Flags. Let alone the Johnny Rockets deals.

How hard a bargain do you think private-money Dan Snyder drove with public-money Dan Snyder in making these deals?

(AFTER THE JUMP: More on Dan Snyder, Red Zone and Dick Clark? DeMatha sends more jocks to college? Remember Harvey Grant? The DC Armor are gonna just disappear? Somebody's still kvetching about the El Al/FedExField comparison?)

And what bang have Six Flags investors gotten out of the tens of millions of stockholders' bucks Snyder threw at himself during the 40 percent sale of Dick Clark Productions? Who's looking out for who?

Who knows what the Dick Clark Productions ownership situation will be when this comes out of bankruptcy.

But, again, it looks like Snyder will still be in charge of both Red Zone and Six Flags at that time. Maybe he'll have a chance to buy Dick Clark Productions from himself during the bankruptcy, then sell Dick Clark Productions to himself all over again.

Seriously, in Snyder's world, what do you have to do to lose your job?

***

From our Hyattsville bureau: DeMatha's library will be packed tomorrow to unveil the latest batch of athletes that the sporting powerhouse will send up to the next level.

Among the more notables in the jock octet featured in the scholarship signing ceremony:

Jerian Grant, son of Washington Bullets 1988 first-round pick Harvey Grant, will announce he will attend Notre Dame. That'll make him the first DeMatha basketball player to commit to South Bend since Hall of Famer Adrian Dantley back in 1973.

And, Casey Thrush will be the first DeMatha student to accept an NCAA hockey scholarship while still in high school, representing the Stags' desire to dominate yet another prep sport.

This signing ceremony, which is surely bigger than any signing ceremony any other local high school will have this year, does not include DeMatha football players. DeMatha already sends more folks to the NFL than any school in the country. They're doing something right in Hyattsville.

***

The return of the DC Armor for a second season is looking bleaker and bleaker. This update from oursportcentral.com's Weekly Pro Sports League and Franchise Report:

American Indoor Football Association: The future of the D.C. Armor in the AIFA is in doubt. The team played before very small crowds in its inaugural 2009 AIFA season and it is unknown whether the franchise will attempt to play a 2010 season in another venue or simply be discontinued.

Somebody's gonna miss you, DC Armor.

***

JTA, which describes itself as the "Global News Service of the Jewish People," and a media organization I have long suspected is controlled by Jews, had some fun with Cheap Seats Daily's comparison of the security at FedExField during the Prague Spring for Redskins fans to the security of El Al Airways.

I had gotten a call from a friend before the Eagles game a few Mondays ago, who told me about getting the once over and then some from a guard at the FedEx gate. So I wrote:

The only first-person account I got was from a friend who called me from FedExField just after being searched at the gate like he was boarding an El Al flight.

He asked the frisker, “Are you looking for anti-Snyder paraphernalia?”

“As a matter of fact, I am,” the guard told him.

That caught the attention of El Al account manager Ron Glickman, who wrote us to say that "the checks that one would go through for an El Al flight are a lot less hands on" than what I wrote about FedEx. El Al, Glickman said, hasn't done done any [body checks] in the past year in the entire United States.”

And Glickman's quotes, in turn, inspired JTA blogger Eric Fingerhut to wonder what entering FedEx would be like like if in fact El Al did take over security:

You'd get to the gate and they'd ask: "So, did you write your sign yourself? Did anyone help you to write your sign? When did you write your sign? Has it been with you since you wrote it?...

That guy's funny!

***

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For all his media hatred, Dan Snyder stuffs his staff with media people. Karl Swanson was in newspapers. Larry Michael was a radio executive. Even Vinny Cerrato came back to the team after a stint at ESPN, where he spent a season in exile after being banished by Marty Schottenheimer (who looks more like Vince Lombardi every season for what he accomplished here.)

Turns out the latest attack dog added to Snyder's pack, David Donovan, fits the pattern. Donovan's complete lack of respect for the media or the truth or both comes out every time he talks to a reporter these days. For but one example of Donovan's outlook: He's the guy who told the Washington Post a couple weeks ago that Redskins officials "don't see any difference" in "the way our actual fans are behaving" this season.

But, there was a time when Donovan was way into newspapering. It was all spelled out in a 2007 feature story in the Daily Times Herald of Carroll, Iowa, his hometown, to honor the local boy made good when he took the job as General Counsel with the Redskins.

Make that the local paperboy made good.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Iowa State gave DC David Donovan AND Vinny Cerrato? What did DC ever do to Iowa State to deserve that? Why did David Donovan join the dark side leave journalism? Snyder's media appearance starting to smell fishy? Ripken statue stolen by guy named Stoneburner who hangs out with a bunch of stoneburners?)

"As a youth David worked as a paperboy here at the Daily Times Herald and also spent time in this newspaper's circulation department," we're told.

And then we learn that Donovan was editor of The Charger, the student newspaper at Kuemper Catholic High School in Carroll.

And that at Iowa State University, his alma mater (and also Vinny Cerrato's alma mater, hmmmm), Donovan got his degree in journalism. And when his college schedule allowed, Donovan interned at the Daily Times Herald "covering general news and sports under the tutelage of former Sports Editor Dennis O'Grady."

He was dead set on being a newspaper man.

After ISU, Donovan headed to Florida with no assurances of landing a job, and no firm prospects.

"I moved to St. Petersburg and went to every newspaper in the area," Donovan said.

Only hours away from having to scuttle his journalistic plans and work in a warehouse so he could eat, Donovan talked his way into a copy-editing job at the St. Petersburg Times – widely regarded today as one of the best newspapers in the nation.  Soon, at only age 22, Donovan moved to the Sarasota Journal, a small, 6,000-circulation afternoon paper affiliated with a larger daily.

Then Donovan married a newspaperwoman. And when he got accepted to Georgetown University Law School, he enrolled, but only because he thought a J.D. would help his newspaper career!

He said that during law school it was his intent to use the legal education to further a journalism career.

"I went to law school without any expectations of practicing law," Donovan said.

But, alas, Donovan was a good law student. And during his early days as a practicing attorney, we learn from the story, Donovan had the epiphany that caused to him to give up journalism, and, from the sound of things lately, lose all respect for those who practice it.

"As a reporter, when you call people, they can hang up," Donovan told the Carroll Daily Times Herald. "When you're a lawyer and someone doesn't talk, you can send a subpoena."

What a line! Kinda removes the mystery about who at Redskins Park was behind suing the grandmother.

***

That "rare in-season" media appearance by Dan Snyder on Tuesday at a team-organized charity event is starting to smell.

The only TV person on the scene was Lindsay Czarniak. She's with WRC-4.

Here's a list, taken from a transcript of what Snyder said that was printed on Snyder's website, of all the questions Czarniak asked, in order:

1)What does this mean to you, to be able to be out here?

2)Does it mean something special to get the cheers out there? Is it a refreshing feeling for once?

3)One thing I wanted to ask you, Dan, is about some of the negativity that has been around this team. When you look at things like the ticket controversy and then the signs being banned, does it feel like being out here and getting a chance to turn things around, where do you stand on that stuff?

4)You're human. How does it impact you?

5)People look at you and see the uber-Redskins fan. What are your thoughts about what's going on with this team?

7)What do you need from here on out? What's the next step for you?

Good golly. "You're human!" "People look at you and see the uber Redskins fan"? "What do you need?"

These are the sort of questions you'd think only somebody on the payroll would ask! I mean, only somebody who would wear licensed Redskins shirts on the air would say that!

Oh, wait! Czarniak is an employee of Snyder's Redskins Broadcast Network who talks about the Redskins while wearing licensed Redskins shirts on WRC's news broadcasts! Coincidence?

And now Pro Football Talk reports that the announcement the Redskins put out about the team's charity event, held at a Maryland high school, didn't mention that Snyder would be talking.

So all the newspaper people stayed away, except AP's Joseph White, who didn't get any questions in. And all the local TV reporters stayed away, except Czarniak. And Snyder only talked to Czarniak, who's on Snyder's payroll! And who asks how's he feeling and tells him he's "human" and the "uber-Redskins fan!"

Wow. 'Course, if it wasn't for Czarniak's Redskins employment and licensed wardrobe, nobody's suspect a thing.

***

One of Cal Ripken's statuenappers 'fessed up and was sentenced. Jason Stoneburner, who from the sound of things is a real stoneburner, got a suspended two years jail term and restitution to the Baltimore Orioles of about a thousand bucks. Seems fair.

Now he'll surely have to go state's evidence against the three other stoneburners (including Gary Parker, pictured above) who allegedly helped him rip Ripken's statue  — which, contrary to his reputation as an Iron Man, was made of aluminum — from its moorings at Camden Yards one September night.

The crew, all in their upper teens, threw Ripken in the back of their pickup before heading over to Patterson Park for one last round of, you know, stoneburning before lawmen got involved and saved Baltimore's favorite son.

***

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Another Redskins game that ain't a sellout. Another Redskins game that won't be blacked out.

The graphic above is from the latest installment of the now regular email blasts that precede every home game.

But no matter what your head tells you, remember: Dan Snyder says the Redskins have a waiting list of "over 200,000" names of folks who want tickets but can't get them.

And remember this, as your watching the Skins/Eagles game on local TV and see a sea of empty seats: The NFL has a blackout policy!

What's going on around here is sorta amazing, ain't it? A "Monday Night Football" game against the hated Eagles — a rematch of the Body Bag Game opponents! — and Skins management feels it has to lie ("visiting team returns," "limited number," etc.) to try to get folks to take tickets?

How low has Snyder taken the operation? Well, if the Redskins were a dance, you could lay the limbo pole on the floor and Snyder could still sneak his franchise under it.

***

Vinny Cerrato opened his radio station on Dan Snyder's sportstalker, WTEM, declaring he wanted to be "perfectly clear" about some things: Jim Zorn is the Skins head coach for the rest of the season "and hopefully into the future." Sure, "perfectly clear" is a Nixon tag line. And Cerrato sounded crazy while he delivered it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Snyder doesn't talk to the media? Did anybody tell the New York Times? Snyder tells Brian Mitchell he's sorry? Brian Mitchell believes it? Debbie Yow wants you to call her Dr. Yow? She's a doctor? Really? Charlie Brotman can tell stories? Ron Jaworski doesn't blame Jim Zorn, either? Why do races get such scary names?)

Cerrato also was manic when he said Snyder doesn't have to come out and address the mess he's made of what was once among the top shelf of NFL franchises but is now among the most despised. "Dan has never spoken to the media for a decade now," Cerrato says.

Huh. I thought Snyder posed for photos and talked to the New York Times a few weeks ago.

***

Brian Mitchell has been declawed. In an interview during the "John Thompson Show" on Dan Snyder's sportstalker, WTEM, Mitchell said he'd just had a conversation with Snyder, and that the owner apologized for cutting Mitchell in 2000 to make room for Deion Sanders.

Mitchell, who ripped Snyder brutally on WTEM for a couple years before Snyder bought the station and fired him, sounded genuinely touched by the words of contrition.

Then again, Snyder needs Mitchell right now a lot more than Mitchell needs Snyder. So during the Eagles game this Monday, Snyder is installing Mitchell into the FedExField "ring of fame" or "hall of stars," or whatever the hell that list of names at the stadium is called now,

Mitchell's appearance on the field should be, like so much about the "Monday Night Football" outing, very odd. Until recently, hardcore Skins fans thought of Mitchell as a turncoat because he was so tough on his former team after Snyder cut him.

But the way the Skins have played this season, what once seemed like hate now just sounds like the truth.  And the fans are so united in despising Snyder, any enemy of the owner is a friend of theirs. So cheering Mitchell is the same as booing Snyder.

That means Mitchell's appearance might provide the only cheers from Skins fans all night.

***

Before Cerrato's desperate announcement, Rick Snider of the Examiner wrote what everybody's feeling: Jim Zorn ain't gonna make it through the season. Snider's piece is mean and fun, like so much of the Redskins coverage these days.

***

Ron Jaworski went on "The Tony Kornheiser Show" to talk about the upcoming telecast of "Monday Night Football," where Jaworski still works.

Asked about the home team's bizarre off-field behaviors in recent weeks, Jaworski said that he'd "gone through every single play" of Redskins games this season, and came to the conclusion that everybody knows:  "It's not about the play-calling."

But: Jaworski picked the Skins to cover the spread.

(If I quote one more radio interview, I'm going to have to pay royalties to the Great Steinographer...)

***

Debbie Yow's official University of Maryland bio refers to her as "Dr. Yow." I didn't know she was a doctor. And, after reading the bio, I still don't. It says she's got a masters degree from Liberty University and "a doctorate (honorus causa) from the United States Sports Academy and an honorary doctorate for professional achievement from Elon University."

Sounds here like Yow just showed up and sat on a stage to get her ceremonial sheepskin. So why would she use "Dr. Yow" as a title? Any psychologists out there explain these behaviors?

***

Charlie Brotman's PR firm, Brotman-Winter-Fried Communications, held its 40th anniversary party last night. I've stolen a bunch of stories from them over the years, with a drag racer with a colostomy bag and a family that makes its living pulling each other's hair coming to mind first.

At the party, I got Brotman to start talking about the old days, which ain't hard, and in no time flat he told tales about picking up Ted Williams at a local hotel and taking him to a real estate extravaganza in 1969 and working with Ray Leonard before the Thomas Hearns rematch and getting Nixon to sign a ball at RFK (which Brotman still has in his office) and bringing in Tiger Woods when he was 16 years old for a charity function and so on and so on. What a life. I could have listened all night, but Charlie had other duties. He's a DC treasure.

***

I got a press release from Brotman's firm today about something called the Gynecologic Cancer Half-Marathon, scheduled for DC on Nov. 8. I gotta say, as noble as the cause is, the race's name is jarring. When's the Scurvy Run-Walk? Or the Crushed By a Metrobus 10K? Or the Trust Me This Is Really the Worst Way to Die Tri?

'Course, I wouldn't have noticed the press release if the event were called the Life Is Great Race. And no matter the name, I ain't entering. No pain, no pain!

***

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Hate to stomp on the weather beat that others at City Desk are already covering with gusto. But I'll stick to forecasts, and stay away from the retrocasting favored by the boss.

So, Sunday in Landover at kickoff: 47 degrees, rainy, winds 13 miles an hour from the north and 100 percent cloud cover. That used to be called "Redskins Weather!" around here. Now, it's called "You Can Get a Redskins Ticket for 17 Cents Weather!"

On a related note...

Redskins Ticket Watch: More than a thousand ads for Skins/Chiefs tickets on Craigslist this morning. Asking prices in just the first few listings I found went from "Way below face value!" to "Half Price!" to "75 percent off!" to "Make an offer!"

Face value's a pipe dream. Come to think of it, with 47 degrees and wet on the horizon, 17 cents might look like a windfall by kickoff. In any case, folks who intend to show up at FedExField might need to bring something to cover their heads from all the precipitation.

Like, bags or plates, maybe?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Vinny Cerrato is told it's the talent, stupid? Snyderatto = Rosie Ruiz? Snyder changed the copy in the cheerleader car wash contest AGAIN? Will the Great Dan Steinberg fall for the not-actual-cheerleaders picture bait AGAIN? Ronnie Mervis and Dan Snyder use the same advertising firm?)

***

Great Moments in Uncomfortable Radio: Randy Covitz, a beat writer for the Kansas City Star covering the Kansas City Chiefs, came on this morning's "Inside the Red Zone," the mystifying show hosted by Redskins personnel wizard/Six Flags investor Vinny Cerrato.

Cerrato was going over the problems that young head coach Todd Haley was having with his 0-5 Chiefs when Covitz blurted out: "We know it's not the coaching. It's the talent!"

We know that, Vinny? Right? A guy can't win without talent, for crissakes! We know that, Vinny? Right? So how come Jim Zorn's on the hottest seat?

On a related note: Washingtonpost.com's Dave Goldberg rates the Skins front office as the worst in the NFL.

***

Vinny Cerrato no longer takes phone calls from listeners on his show, as he did when then-new WTEM owner Dan Snyder gave the longtime sidekick the program early last season. 'Course, the Skins briefly had a winning record at that time.

Times have changed, alas. So Vinny has more airtime to fill all by himself.* He used much of it to today to counsel Redskins fans repeatedly that a football season "isn't a sprint, it's a marathon."

And Snyderatto's got just the role model for marathoning: Rosie Ruiz.

*I just discovered that The Great Steinographer transcribed almost every portion of Cerrato's show other than the KC interview and the marathon references. I mean, Cerrato's show goes off the air at 10:00 a.m. This latest load of Steinography was posted at 9:24 a.m. How big is Steinberg's staff? How many fingers does he have? How great is he?

***

Dan Snyder's Cheerleader Fetish Update: More toning down going on at the Washington Redskins cheerleader car wash.

For the unfamiliar: Dan Snyder's sportstalker WTEM recently launched a Redskins Cheerleader Car Wash contest, where cheerleader's will pick up a sponge and hand over their pride to somebody in the 25-54 year old male demographic that the station covets.

Cheap Seats Daily has written about the car wash as critically and as often as the Washington Post editorial board does Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. And Snyder has heard our roar. Or, well, he's tweaked the language in the ad campaign to make it less pervy.

First he removed the dudes and their pre-masturbation conversation that were featured in the original radio commercial for the contest. Now, he's also de-perved the copy in the online advertisements.

Original: “How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? — AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders soap up and scrub down your car???”

Tweaked: "How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? – AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders give your car a great SpongeTech wash???"

(Spongetech, a sudsy sponge manufacturer, is a sponsor of the contest, and a company that was recently kicked off the trading board by the Securities and Exchange Commission for allegedly shady accounting and disclosure practices. But that's not the yucky part.)

So cheerleaders no longer are on "soap up" and "scrub down" duties. They just have to "give your car" a wash. Different, yes, but still humiliating.

But how come Snyder won't let go of the picture of the cheerleaders all sudsy and rubbing down a car — though "not actual cheerleaders" were used for the photo shoot, according to a small-print caveat — that has been featured in the campaign?

Until he does, Cheap Seats Daily has no choice but to run that photo again! (Take that, TGDS!)

***

Something's fishy about the ongoing guerilla marketing campaign from Mervis Diamond Importers.

Ronnie Mervis has put himself out to unhappy football fans as the guy who can replace Dan Snyder as owner of the Washington Redskins.

There's so much rancor toward Snyder in this area, just by offering himself up, Mervis has brought an incredible amount of attention to himself and his jewelry firm. But it's sorta odd that Both Mervis and the Washington Redskins are listed as clients of the same advertising firm: ROI Advertising of Northern Virginia. Mervis is also a big advertiser on Snyder's sports station, WTEM.

Snyder's probably in on it.

***

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Sportstalk radio station WJFK this morning put on callers who said they got bags past the gate but anybody who tried wearing one got swarmed by stadium security.

Paper bags! That's where that Sept. 11 fee Snyder tacks on to your ticket price goes? Sheeesh.

The bag gimmick is old, but funny. The ban is just creepy.

***

Death knell for Jason Campbell: Sonny Jurgensen has seen enough.

Unlike other members of the Skins broadcast crew, Jurgensen never talks without thinking about what he's going to say. And after Campbell's second interception, Jurgensen, who along with being the color commentator is a pal of Dan Snyder, said he'd seen enough. "I think it's time to warm up #16 guys," Sonny said.

(AFTER THE BREAK: Vinny and Larry get the Great Steinographer treatment? Vinny's going to bring Sally Jenkins on his radio show? Vinny's going to send Sally Jenkins his Super Bowl ring? Vinny's got a Super Bowl ring? Dan Snyder won't tell you how much your Johnny Rockets burger is? The Redskins schedule only winless teams? Brett Haber thinks the Redskins are sleeping giants? Biggest high school football game of all-time this week? Worst high school football season of all-time is imminent?)

Other members of the radio crew took Sonny's cue. "If this were a baseball game, the bullpen would have activity in it," said Doc Walker, another ex-Redskin and Snyder employee.

"Yes!" said Sonny.

Then, with two minutes left in the first half and Tampa Bay pitching a shutout,  play-by-play man Larry Michael said, "Wonder what the Redskins will do at halftime to make some adjustments."

Sonny jumped right in: "Start another quarterback!"

Campbell's in a contract year. If Jurgensen's done with him, management will follow.

***

Do Vinny Cerrato and Larry Michael look at Washington City Paper as a How To? manual or what?

I wrote a column for the current isse about wonderfully unsuccessful media strategy the Redskins have utilized since Dan Snyder took over: When the going gets tough, attack the Washington Post.

So last week, as the team was wracked with crisis and preparing for its still another Must Win game, Cerrato and Michael went after Sally Jenkins.

Jenkins wrote an instant classic piece last week about the loser culture that has developed under Snyder, and used the presence of Cerrato, who she called "a proven loser," as Exhibit A of the dumbassitude.

Jenkins, and not the lack of a pass rush, running game, game clock strategy, etc., thus became the focus of the team's nightly infomercial hosted by Michael, called "Redskins Nation."

The best part came when Vinny decided he's going to show Jenkins how successful he is. The Great Steinographer, Dan Steinberg, typed up the convo as Vinny and Larry discuss how wrong Sally was. From Steinberg's transcription:

"I'm gonna send all my Super Bowl rings and national championship rings and conference championship stuff and I'm gonna e-mail it," Cerrato promised. "You know, I'm gonna send her pictures of all those, you know, because she probably doesn't know what they look like."

"Oh, no doubt about that," Michael said approvingly. "And I guess the fact that you HAVE had some success proves that you're a failure. I mean, it makes no sense to me. It makes no sense to me. But anyway Vinny, thank you so much for stopping by."

"Maybe she wants to come on the radio show and talk about it?" Cerrato wondered.

"Well Vinny's radio show, coming up Friday, I'm sure you would welcome a phone call," Michael said.

"Oh-oh, would I," Cerrato agreed.

We're all ears, Vinny!

***

Awesome trivia about the Skins' schedule: Washington hasn't played a game yet against a team with a win. That streak will continue this weekend when Washington goes to 0-3 Carolina.

***

WUSA's Brett Haber, describing the Redskins second-half comeback against Tampa Bay: "The sleeping giants awoke."

Ironic? Homerific?

You make the call!

***

Speaking of Snyder: I was walking in DuPont Circle over the weekend and stopped into the Johnny Rockets. That's  a burger chain bought by Dan Snyder in 2007.

The only obvious Snyder touch to the place: The carry out menu has no prices!

A menu without prices? For a fast food joint? It probably isn't part of the "If you have to ask, you can't afford it!" logic behind top shelf joints; at Johnny Rockets, the menu reflects management's realization that you'll lose your appetite if you see how much Snyder has jacked up the prices.

I ended up at City Lights of China across the street. Try the crispy fried shredded beef for $15.95.

Snyder, like the menu, is priceless.

***
The local prep equivalent of Redskins/Cowboys: DeMatha plays Good Counsel this Friday. They're the top two football programs in the area in recent seasons, and this year both are nationally ranked. And, most important, DeMatha and Good Counsel just plain don't like each other.

Ok. I made that up. I have no idea if DeMatha and Good Counsel like each other or not. But I love high school rivalries!

***
Update on the Road to 11 Losses: Traditional high school seasons are 10 games. As far as I can tell, no local school has ever lost 11 games in the same year. Anacostia has 11 games scheduled this year. The Indians are now 0-6, after getting pasted 68-6 by Coolidge on Friday.

But the biggest obstacle to the Indians' season of infamy comes now. They face Eastern, an 0-3 team that has been outscored 114-13. Then Spingarn. After three games, the Green Wave is winless and was losing the point differential battle, 160-6. Neither Spingarn nor Eastern has even 10 games scheduled for 2009.

If only Anacostia can find some way to snatch defeat from what should be two sure wins, it's smooth sailing into the record books.

***

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A sampling:

This is Snyder's team; he was intimately involved in assembling it. He keeps his favorite players on speed dial, watches practices on the sidelines and demands face time and explanations from the coaches he personally hired. Whatever you think of Zorn, he is Snyder's own selection. It was Snyder who told Joe Gibbs, "He would make a great head coach." He is personally responsible for naming Vinny Cerrato, a proven failure, executive vice president of football operations, for the Redskins' lack of core strength, for their inability to power the ball in the red zone, which is thanks to his decade of neglect of the interior lines in favor of big free agent signings.

But no sampling can do the column justice. It's all wondrous.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Reading recommendations? Nats give fans an unforgettable "Bang! Zoom!" when down to last strike? Thom Loverro says forget "Bang! Zoom!" Ted Leonsis says Caps better than Jesus? When's the wake for Hoop Dreams? Say it ain't so, Susie Kay?)

My only problem with Jenkins' article is that nowhere in the piece is there a disclosure that she has written books with Lance Armstrong, or any mention of all the allegations that Armstrong doped while winning all those Tour de Frances.

(Whoa! Where'd that come from? Enough with the Lance Armstrong! Innocent til proven guilty! Heard of it? Geezus Chrysler! Let Sally do God's work!)

OK, OK! Go read Sally Jenkins' column again!

***

Sure, it's early in the football season, but I'm certain that nothing the Redskins do this year will wow their fans as much as last night's Nats' win over the Mets wowed those spectating or otherwise watching or (in my case) listening.

Justin Maxwell's grand slam with his team down a run in the bottom of the last inning of the last home game of the year—Maxwell was down to his last strike, in fact—gave me the sort of thrill chills I hadn't gotten since Boise State beat Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl a few years ago.

Sure, the game meant nothing in the big scheme—the Mets are huge losers, and the Nats have already wrapped up not only last place in the division for 2009, but the worst record in the majors. But the rest of the season meant less than nothing while Charlie Slowes called Maxwell's HR with the fans going crazy crazy crazy in the background. Sports magic, it was.

No matter how lousy this team is, the ending was enough to make you think: Wait 'til next year!

***

Thom Loverro, alas, says don't wait 'til next year.

Loverro predicts very dire times for the Washington Nationals, at least at the turnstiles. By the end of next season, Loverro says, Nats management will look back wistfully at the 2009 debacle.

This organization is not on the brink of turning around the Jim Bowden culture that buried D.C. baseball in a deep, dark hole that will take years to dig out of. Let's say the Nationals wind up with 57 wins to show for 2009. A 10-win improvement would be a dramatic jump. That means about 67 wins next season. Think that will cause a spike in attention and attendance?

Sometime before the start of the season, Kasten has traditionally shared the season-ticket sales for the season. This year he did not, but we got a pretty good idea from some of the sparse crowds at Nationals Park that it is somewhere around 12,000 – down from the high of 22,000 during the inaugural 2005 season at RFK Stadium. There's no reason not to believe that next year it could fall below 10,000.

Loverro's always right. I just wish he'd've waited a day or two before killing my post-Justin Maxwell buzz with reality.

***

As the Washington Capitals open their regular season tonight, the Washington Times previews the season with a story headlined "Leonsis: Capitals set for dynasty."

Considering how smart and humble Ted Leonsis had been with the media in recent years, and with Sidney Crosby and Evgeni Malkin, the superstar leaders of the defending Stanley Cup champion Pittsburgh Penguins, both being younger than Alex Ovechkin, I found that headline startling.

Ted would call his team a dynasty?

Well, I've read the story once and scanned it a bunch of times, but I can't find any quote where the Caps owner uses the word "dynasty" or claims that the team is "set for dynasty." I see him sorta bragging that he likes the way his organization is set up, but no "dynasty" claims. Maybe I'm just missing something. The Times' Web site does godawful things to my browser, no foolin'.

But if I'm not missing anything: It's like those "John Lennon: Beatles More Popular Than Jesus" headlines that helped take the Fabs off the road in 1966.

Only, Lennon actually said that.

***

Tonight's the goodbye party for the Hoop Dreams Scholarship Fund at the Historical Society of Washington, D.C.

The charity was founded more than a decade ago by then-H.D. Woodson teacher Susie Kay.

Kay decided to dissolve the fund earlier this year because of dwindling charity dollars going to group's like hers. From the start, she worked the schedule of a dairy farmer. In the end, Hoop Dreams subsidized the college educations of more than 1,000 kids from D.C. public high schools.

She made the city a better place.

***

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Bottom line: Cheap Seats Daily's hype of Dim WitsGate™ is validated!

From all the hate going Henson's way on Sunday's postgame shows on local sportstalk stations, I was certain this was going to develop into the biggest Redskins controversy ever generated by an inactive linebacker using new media. Or at least one of the biggest Redskins controversies ever generated by an inactive linebacker using new media.

And now it's on the front page!

Also, it's always nice to see former longtime DC resident the Great Dan Steinberg, the Woodward & Bernstein of Dim WitsGate™, on A1.

(Full disclosure: I still have my 35-year-old "Nixon Resigns" issue of the Washington Post in my paperboy bag in the basement. I'll get 'em out for Halloween. Hence the "-Gate" fetish...)

***

There they go again. Dan Snyder is using his web site to go to war with the Washington Post.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Is Henson being used to take heat off the real Redskins villains? Pravda's Ashburn bureau strikes again? How would you copy-edit multiple Twitters? Leonard Shapiro now using out-of-town newspapers to blast Dan Snyder? The NFL's blackout policy is as big a sham as the Skins waiting list?)

"Robert Henson did not get on the field on Sunday," read the faux news article written by Skins PR man Gary Fitzgerald and posted yesterday on Redskins.com, "but somehow he’s the talk of the town and strangely enough he’s a big headline in The Washington Post...Henson’s apologies on Twitter and in his Monday media session–as well as Zorn's comments on the young linebacker–were not fully included in a Tuesday story in The Washington Post. The article focused more on the mistake and not the contrition."

I pity the tool who had to put a byline on that.

If the organization hadn't already proven it can't do anything right PR-wise, I'd be wondering if this whole Post-bashing exercise wasn't a ploy to deflect the media's attention away from Jim Zorn, Dan Snyder, Jason Campbell, Vinny Cerrato, and the parking and tailgating fiasco at FedExField.

They'd all be getting more play, and taking a bigger beating, if Henson wasn't all thumbs.

***

For those not obsessed with the Redskins off-field soap opera, Steinberg's A1 story had an interesting copy-editing situation, if that ain't oxymoronical. Here's how some of Robert Henson's Twitter ramblings appeared in the Post:

"No I didn't play but I still made more than you in a year and you'd [gladly] switch spots with me in a second," Henson wrote during a string of responses. "I was talking to the fans [who] said the crazy stuff, I'm use [to heckling] but I've never been booed in my own stadium. Again that was for the half hearted but if everyone wants to jump in come on. The question is who are you to say you know what's best for the team and you work 9 to 5 at Mcdonalds [sic]. You don't wanna follow me anymore then fine but we play for you and win lose or draw we represent you!! My guy on the Rams said they never got booed even when they didn't win a game."

That paragraph was made up of more than one of Henson's Twitters, yet was treated as a single quote.

I've never come across this situation before, and I'm guessing AP Style hasn't yet weighed in on how to treat multiple Twitters. So this is a time for Post copy editors to leave a lasting mark on their craft. I'm going to have to stare at my WWABD bracelet ("What Would Andrew Beaujon Do?") before I decide if this is correct copyediting or not.

***

Leonard Shapiro had to go to Miami to run this story blasting Dan Snyder as the worst owner in the NFL. I can't find it locally. Why didn't the Washington Post run it?

***

Now that everybody but the crazies accepts that Dan Snyder's season tickets waiting list is bogus and has been bogus for years, I wish somebody would expose the NFL's blackout policy as a similar fraud.

All you need to know: The Skins home games ain't sold out — the team was selling general admission tickets for the Rams game through email blasts all week — yet the games are on TV.

Case closed. Shut up.

Obviously, the NFL owners have as much motivation to enforce the blackout rule as they do to enforce the steroids prohibition.

Oh, right: Only baseball players and cyclists are dopers!

***

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Yesterday, rumors broke that the team was going to boot Rizzo and hire the Diamondbacks' Jerry DiPoto. Nats fan boards lit up with pleas for management to keep Rizzo, who'd only just completed the Stephen Strasburg signing.

The Lerners are known for never giving a hoot about public opinion, but, coincidentally or not, it appears their decision and the fans' wishes will mesh here.

Then again, it could just be that Rizzo, already on staff as an assistant, comes cheaper than DiPoto would have.

***

In case you missed it: I wrote my own special Groundhog Column, about Spingarn football's newest new football coach, a piece I've written again and again over the years. The newest new guy to run the long-troubled program, Charlie McKie, takes over with clear eyes and a full heart. He's been coaching youth football in the city for nearly three decades, the last several years at Brown Middle School, so McKie knows Spingarn hasn't competed for the Turkey Bowl in a generation.

But someday, that's going to happen.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Madden dumps the Great Hoyas Hope? Are the Olympics ready for gender-non-specific track and field? Yandamonium™ returns already? Erin Andrews gets muddy?)

McKie, like all his predecessors at Spingarn and pretty much every D.C. public school coach I've ever interviewed, is a superhero to me. The stuff they put up with, well, don't get me started...

Full disclosure: We're pulling for Coach McKie and Spingarn!

***

I'm not the only one thinking Georgetown U's dry spell in the NFL will go on.

In their weekly updates, the game producers of Madden 10, while adding Michael Vick to the Eagles' roster and Brett Favre to the Vikings', have just taken the digital version of defensive lineman Alex Buzbee off the roster of the digital Redskins — even though the real Buzbee hasn't yet been cut by the real Redskins.

"Too low on the depth chart" was the reason given for the move. On the web site of the real Redskins, Buzbee is currently listed as the fourth-team tackle.

No Hoya has played in the NFL since Jim Ricca, who was signed by the Redskins in 1951.

***

How would sportstalker Brendan Haywood deal with this story?

***

I have been feeling sorry for Steve Yanda, the Washington Post sportswriter who's been taking it in every orifice since last week, when he wrote the most viral lede in the history of the sports section: "In the coda of the Passacaglia and Fugue in C minor, composer Johann Sebastian Bach repeats the same chord sequence over and over again, leading the listener to anticipate one resolution, only to provide a tone completely different."

That was for a story about the Nationals beating the Diamondbacks for their 8th win in a row. Bet you couldn't tell!

But, anyway, that story created complete Yandamonium™. I usually only get emails about mortgage rates and penile implants, but three people sent me Yanda's Bach piece. He got ripped everywhere, even in his own paper, for his fuguing around in a game story.

Edward L. Jaffee of Springfield was among those whose Yanda-bashing letter-to-the-editor made it to print:

Steve Yanda took The Post's sportswriting to a new low. Not only did the reader have to go to the continuation on Page D6 to find out how the Nationals won, but Yanda's lead was, in effect, a tutorial on baroque music and has nothing at all to do with sports. My wife, a classical pianist, shared my perplexity at the report, saying it sounds as if the writer was simply strutting his knowledge of Bach. I agree. Not only that, but his analogy was tortured and wrong. The Nats had just won their eighth straight, coming from down 5-0 and 6-0 in the two previous games, so to hang the story on a hook of trailing by 1-0 after one inning was a stretch. Why not return to the cleaner writing of great Post sportswriters of the past, such as Shirley Povich, and at least give us the result and key factors in the game before going off on a feature writer's excursion?

The out-of-house treatment was rougher. Even Gary Williams had to cringe as he read former City Paper mastermind Tom Scocca show up on Deadspin to ground and pound on Yanda, who I've never met but I hear is as nice as he is young.

So, again, I've been feeling sorry for Yanda.

Then I read this in yesterday's Post. I was a few hundred words in before the story and the headline ("Long Journey Brings Morse Back to Majors") connected at all.

"Can't be Steve Yanda! Not so soon after FugueinCminorGate™,!" I said to myself, hoping against hope. "Steve Yanda," said the byline.

And, to twist Chrissy Hynde, my pity was gone.

(Hynde references are much more acceptable in sporting circles than Bach. Right, editors? What? No editors? Really? Oh...FugueinCminorGate™'s all starting to make sense! There but for the grace of god and any clue about classical music go I...)

***

Deadspin writes up Erin Andrews' new GQ spread. A genius commenter points out a conceptual flaw in the layout: "Q: How did her shoulder pads get so muddy?"

In other words, a deal just like those Redskins de facto GM Vinny Cerrato makes every offseason.

And now it looks like Rizzo's about to be kicked out of his job.

If it were Cerrato who was getting knocked off, Redskins fans would be celebrating his departure the way Italians rallied around Mussolini's swinging carcass.

But in Rizzo's case, Nats followers are upset.

Will that be enough to save his job?