The piece takes a photo of a poster taken by FedExField security guards before the Eagles/Skins game that says "Hi to my huband in Afghanistan," and runs with it. The Great Dan Steinberg made that poster famous after fishing it out of the trash near the stadium entrance.

To be fair, Snyder has shown support for our National Defense. Well, he put out a Commemorative Sept. 11 Redskins hat that had a red-white-and-blue Pentagon stitched on to the side in 2005.

And he sold that hat for only $23.99. Plus shipping. And he kept the money. But still. Bottom line: When Military.com lowers the boom on you, something's gotta give.

And everybody's favorite magazine geared toward an audience of corporate counsel people, Corporate Counsel magazine, also jumps in this week with "Not Exactly a Banner Season for the Washington Redskins."

The publication interviews new Redskins COO and total BS'er David Donovan about the new policies at FedExField prohibiting signs and banning interviews in the parking lot, and he was also asked about fans at the Eagles game having to remove their t-shirts if the message on the garments was anti-Snyder.

"We're not trying to limit what anyone wants to say or chant or wear," Donovan told Corporate Counsel.

Wow. Thus continues Donovan's awe-inspiring streak of just saying stuff so dishonest that not even he could believe it.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Not even Corporate Counsel magazine can stomach David Donovan's whoppers? David Donovan and Dan Snyder, adrenaline rush buddies? How does a Redskins win compare to a class action lawsuit? Skins are only the third-worst team in the NFL? Bono had a hand in Cooley's wounding? D.C. United coach bails?)

Though you'd think a trade publication would be a kind audience, the tone of the Corporate Counsel piece clearly shows the writer had little trust in what Donovan was spewing about the rules changes,  as the story contains clauses like "Donovan can't account for the discrepancy," and "Donovan remains vague."

"Donovan remains full of crap" is the gist of the piece, basically.

Bottom line: When Corporate Counsel magazine lowers the boom on you, something's gotta give.

***

The Web site of DC law firm Wilmer Hale has a big write up of David Donovan's path to the Redskins.

The highlight for me was an anecdote about Donovan's first game as Redskins general counsel. That came in the comeback game in Dallas in 2005 that featured two Mark Brunell/Santana Moss bombs,  and gave the team easily its biggest win in the Dan Snyder era.

Donovan was in the visiting owners box with Dan Snyder. When the Skins came back, the story goes, "the two men enjoyed the rush of adrenaline," and Snyder "grabbed Donovan by his jacket" and yelled “This beats asbestos lawsuits, doesn’t it?”

***

Everybody agrees this year's Redskins are bottom feeders. The Sagarin poll now puts the Skins as the 30th best team in the NFL. The only squads ranked lower are Tampa Bay and St. Louis, the only teams Washington has beaten this season. The two teams just above the Skins in the poll are Detroit (29) and Kansas City (28), each of whom beat Washington for their only victories.

The Redskins schedule thus far, says Sagarin, ranks as the easiest in the league.

***

Redskins fans have thrown out an interesting theory about the injury: Bono broke Chris Cooley's leg! Had Dan Snyder not thrown a midseason concert at FedExField, the theory goes, the field would have been in finer shape and Cooley's foot wouldn't have hit whatever caused it to roll over.

The turf at FedEx during the Eagles game sure did look faded and sandy, nearly a month after the U2 concert there drew 80,000 or so. (Watch the sand fly off everybody's feet here during DeShawn Jackson's long run for a TD.)

As for motive: I was at a U2 show in 1987 at the Redskins former home, RFK Stadium, where Bono separated his shoulder during a fall. Hmmm.

***

DC United Coach Tom Soehn won't be coming back. United just put out a press release saying it was all Soehn's decision to leave the team when his contract runs out after this season.

The release:

Tom Soehn removes name from consideration for Head Coach of D.C. United

Process for finding United’s next head coach will begin immediately

Washington, D.C. (November 3, 2009) – D.C. United announced today Head Coach Tom Soehn has removed his name from consideration for United’s head coaching position ahead of his contract expiring at the end of the calendar year.  Soehn served the Black-and-Red as an assistant from 2004-2006, before leading the club to two major trophies, a Supporters’ Shield in 2007 and a U.S. Open Cup in 2008, in three seasons as head coach.   The process for finding United’s next head coach will begin immediately.

“Tommy has done an outstanding job at D.C. United, first as an assistant and then as our head coach,” said United President and CEO Kevin Payne.  “Over the past three seasons, Tommy has faced greater challenges than any other Major League Soccer coach.  His record in all competitions this season was outstanding and he should not be judged on the basis of missing the MLS Cup Playoffs.  Tommy is a fine young coach and I know we will face him in the future in MLS play.  I wish him all of the luck in the world.”

Soehn was named Head Coach of D.C. United on December 21, 2006.  The Black-and-Red won the 2007 Supporters’ Shield and the 2008 U.S. Open Cup under his guidance.  In all competitions, Soehn posted a career mark of 55-48-31.  United was 36-30-24 in League play in his three seasons at the helm.

“My family and I have spent a lot of time in reaching this very difficult decision,” said Soehn.  “I've been fortunate to spend the last six seasons with this organization.  I'd like to thank the staff and fans for their support throughout my tenure.  In particular, I'd like to thank Kevin Payne, Dave Kasper, Chad Ashton, Mark Simpson, Francisco Tobar, Brian Goodstein, David Brauzer and the entire technical staff.  When you're in this business, the experiences you face together forge special bonds and friendships that will always remain.  My appreciation also extends to the players.  We accomplished a lot together since I arrived in 2004 and I thank them for their dedication and wish them the best in the seasons ahead.”

Soehn joined Peter Nowak’s coaching staff prior to the 2004 campaign.  In three seasons as an assistant coach, United won two major titles, the 2004 MLS Cup and the 2006 Supporters’ Shield.

“I want to thank Tommy for his six years of great service at D.C. United,” said United General Manager Dave Kasper.  “He is a terrific friend and colleague, and he played a major role in the club winning four trophies during his time here.  He is a bright young coach who has a big career ahead of him.  I wish him continued success with his next coaching position and his family the best of luck always.”

***

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By reporting Szymkowicz's anecdotes, Cheap Seats Daily could have left the impression with readers that Snyder had, after 10 years of owning the stadium, come up with a way to get people to their seats on time.

But, upon further review, it seems traffic at FedExField was as Snyder'd up as ever. A quick reading of the comments section of Washington Post rock critic Chris Richards'* review of the show reveals that about as many concert goers are venting about their commute as are praising the band's performance.

After the jump, some of the early returns.

Simian77 writes, "WTF is up with FedEx! Two and half hours spent crawling up Rt. 50 to the stadium is absolutely ridiculous!!!"

VaBroker says, "The traffic of course was a friggin nightmare – in and out !!!"

arlingtonJAM huffs, "Took us 2 hours and 45 minutes to get to Fedex from Arlington."

tjm0051 asks, "How is it that Fedex Field has been around for 12 years and they still can't get everyone in and out smoothly? We waited an hour before we got out of the parking lot! The weak point being evidently the light at Brightseat Rd and Landover Rd–thousands of cars had to wait at the light there. There were no police officers at the intersection to keep things flowing."

And so on...Summary: just another day at the office for Dan Snyder.

Cheap Seats Daily regrets giving readers the misimpression that Snyder has figured anything out.

(Full disclosure: I freelance concert reviews for the Post, and Richards is sending me to write-up Kiss in a couple weeks. Yes, Kiss's farewell tour is still going.)

Well, special correspondent J.P. Szymkowicz says that while he can't vouch for everybody, his U2 experience was uneventful, other than the show itself.

Szymkowicz says he left DC via Metro at 3 p.m. yesterday and arrived at the Morgan Boulevard station quickly and without any problems. He went into the stadium at 5 p.m. when the gates opened and with his general admission tickets got to the spot on the field that he desired. He got a ride home and found that the drive took "30 minutes from the stadium to the Rte. 50 exit," which is acceptable.

Szymkowicz, an expert on Snyder's parking methods and U2's discography, left so early because he feared the crowd would be too much for the stadium operators to handle.

The show, he says, "was great," and featured a sound system "as good as any of the other shows I have seen dating back to Unforgettable Fire."

Any other travel tales from u2 goers?

***

The Great Dan Steinberg mulls an issue that will likely get more timely as the 2009 season wears on: What do you do if you're mad at the Redskins, but get offered free tickets?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Paper or plastic for Sunday at FedExfield? DC football recruiting star in trouble? DC basketball recruiting star in trouble? Maryland hoops recruit in trouble? Stubblefield 2.0 in domestic and non-domestic legal and financial trouble? Sean Taylor's survivors in some money trouble?)

Steinberg doesn't offer any specific counseling. The Sports Junkies on WJFK have been pushing wearing bags for Sunday's home game with Tampa Bay. The tactic ain't original, but, short of actual physical mayhem, an army of bag-wearers at FedExField would bring bigger laughs and more national attention to the boiling fanimosity than any other obvious protest strategy.

***

Money changes everything. Bad news in USA Today about Albert Haynesworth. Haynesworth's for-now wife, Stephanie Haynesworth, who filed for divorce last year, has told a Tennessee court that the Redskins' budding Dana Stubblefield 2.0 has stopped paying bills for her and his three children. She's asked a judge to force the guy with the 11-figure contract to pony up "at least" $6,000 a month to support the family and to pay mortgages on their home, which is in foreclosure.

The yuckiest portion of the piece:

This [divorce case] isn't the only legal case in Tennessee involving Haynesworth. A Nashville man sued him in May for causing a December car crash that left him needing hip replacement surgery. Corey Edmonson is asking for $7.5 million in compensatory damages and punitive damages of no less than 25% of Haynesworth's $41 million in guaranteed money from his Redskins' contract.

"Very sad for his family, but not surprising given Haynesworth's track record," said Edmonson's attorney, Jon Perry. "Like Mrs. Haynesworth and the kids, Corey also can't pay his bills because of Haynesworth."

Everything Haynesworth has done since signing that record-breaking Skins contract earlier this year has been national news. He's the focus of more fanimosity than any player save perhaps Jason Campbell.

And when Neo Stubby was laying motionless on the field in Detroit after making his first sack of the year, Sam Huff, the team's radio color commentator and a Hall of Fame linebacker himself, wasn't buying that Haynesworth was really hurt. "He's tired," Huff continued repeating, even as a cart full of medical personnel was hauling Haynesworth off the field. Haynesworth later returned to the game, causing a lot of folks to now believe Huff's diagnosis was dead on.

***

Equally depressing money story in the Washington Post today about the financial mess of some of Sean Taylor's survivors. They thought he'd be paying their bills forever.

***

Mike Locksley's in more real warm water in his first season as New Mexico's head coach. First a prized DC recruit left campus before practice even started. Then Locksley was accused of sexual harassment by a university employee. He's lost all four of the games the Lobos have played so far. Now he's been officially reprimanded by the school after a brouhaha with an assistant coach that got physical.

Before taking the New Mexico job, Locksley had developed a reputation by building a talent pipeline from DC to whatever school employed him — Maryland, Florida and Illinois.

"He's going to bring in talent that New Mexico has never seen before now," predicted Dunbar alum and current Miami Dolphin Vontae Davis after Locksley's hiring. Locksley had recruited Davis to Illinois, where he was offensive coordinator. A couple years earlier, when he was an assistant Maryland, Locksley had successfully recruited Vontae's brother Vernon Davis, now a 49ers tight end and another Dunbar alum.

If things don't turnaround soon at New Mexico, Locksley might be back on full time recruiting duty.

***

Different sport, similar water temperature: Kevin Broadus, a DC hoops recruiting star turned head coach, is also getting pummeled in the press. Broadus, now the head basketball coach at Binghamton University, is a former assistant at George Washington and Georgetown. When he was with the Colonials and Hoyas, Broadus got away with bringing in athletes with dubious high school academic records — some players had diplomas from high schools that didn't exist except to field basketball teams. He landed talent like they'd never seen before at Binghamton, too, leading the school to its first-ever NCAA tournament bid last year.

But it looks like his methods are catching up with Broadus these days. Six Binghamton players were kicked off the basketball team last week for various offenses, the most notable being a point guard's arrest for dealing crack.

Now comes word from the New York Times that folks at the school who questioned the school's tolerance of the basketball program were dealt with harshly. That accusation comes from Sally Dear, an adjunct lecturer, who was recently fired by Binghamton. From the Times story:

Dear’s dismissal comes at a time when Binghamton’s basketball program, which reached the N.C.A.A. tournament for the first time last season, has hit a nadir. The university dismissed six players last week, including the starting point guard Emanuel Mayben, who was arrested on charges of selling and possessing of crack cocaine.

Seven Binghamton men’s basketball players majored in human development last year, and Dear said she believed some of them received preferential treatment.

“They know that people have been covering up for the athletes and not holding them to the same standard for other students,” Dear said. “They know that athletes who are not passing classes have been given independent studies to carry them through.”

***
Maryland's prize hoops recruit, forward Jordan Williams, is in trouble. But Williams says he wasn't fighting, he was peacemaking, in the mall brawl that got him arrested.

I had some peacemaking incidents at malls of my own at his age, so I'll recuse myself from judging the guy.

For now!

***

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There was a quick-draw showdown on the dusty streets of the Senate Finance Committee yesterday, and Montana Senator Max Baucus came out swinging. Both Democratic proposals to create a government-run insurance plan were shot down by the committee, leaving saloon shutters flapping and the road wide open for Baucus to ride in with his plan by the end of the week.

And how does the committee chairman want to run this town? Like any good sheriff, he vies for the middle of the road: that is to say, nonprofit insurance cooperatives over the public option, and as an alternative to private companies. After all, no cowboy worth his salt will trust those private vigilantes...but neither will he tame the wild west.

And over in Foggy Bottom, the metro stop, in addition to a couple blocks of 23^rd street, was closed for several hours due to a “suspicious package.” As one GWU student put it, “[the package] was bouncing.”

If bouncy packages weren’t enough to worry about, the robbers have decided to take on the guise of D.C. businessmen—a mugger alert went out Monday on 16^th and K Street for a man wearing a black suit, black hat, white shirt, and carrying a briefcase. Maybe he had an interview later?

And finally, ABC7 reported that at the concert last night at the FedEx Field, “U2 fans” were concerned about the traffic, and a lot of “U2 fans” couldn’t get off work early. Sadly, the author didn’t realize that the 80,000 concertgoers were rushing to see the far superior unmentioned act, Muse. Any of these mythical U2 fans out there want to give a shout-out?

That's it for today—I think the swine got me, and there's no vaccine until the first week of October....

Photo by Freeparking, Creative Commons Attribution License

It Might Get Loud is Davis Guggenheim's summer after science class. The director has followed up his Oscar-winning 2006 documentary on global warming, An Inconvenient Truth, with a film that nourishes his inner music fan, another doc that brings together three titans of rock — Led Zeppelin's Jimmy Page, U2's the Edge, and the White Stripes' Jack White — to jam, talk about how they got started, and ruminate on that most revolutionary of rock 'n' roll instruments, the electric guitar.

The film is as narratively loose and occasionally meandering as a casual noodling session. It's occasionally trippy, such as when a child shows up dressed exactly like White and plays along with him in several scenes. (One passing mention tells us it's White as a kid. Which doesn't really explain much.) It's often thrilling, such as when the three musicians learn each other's hits or, near the end, perform a soulfully imperfect version of the Band's “The Weight.”

But most of all, It Might Get Loud is intimate. Guggenheim captured some astonishing moments here, including White composing a song on the spot or the Edge admitting that he sometimes feels "like a complete idiot" if inspiration doesn't strike. The highlight, though? A shot of Page standing over a record player while Link Wray's “Rumble” spins, a huge smile across the legend's bobbing head.

And then he air-guitars.

Guggenheim spent some time talking about the film with Washington City Paper, sometimes sounding like he'd be just as happy bouncing in a 9:30 club mosh pit as standing behind a camera.

WCP: I've had a hard time describing this movie. It's not really a three-way biopic, it's not a doc about the electric guitar. How do you sum it up?

That's the challenge in selling the movie. I think of it as a reinvention of the rock documentary. Edge talks in the movie about how when [U2] started out as a band, they knew what they didn't want to be — that's how we started. We knew we didn't want to be a documentary about car wrecks and drug overdoses.

WCP: You've said that you didn't want the film to speak to music critics.

No music critics. This is personal portraiture. We wanted to create an event where these three guys, three generations of [musicians], come together and teach each other how to play.

WCP: Whose idea was it?

[Producer] Thomas Tull said, “I want to make a film about the electric guitar.” And then Lesley Chilcott, Peter Afterman, and I thought, How do we do this different? Rock stars are kind of mysterious creatures. How do you puncture through that?

WCP: How did you pick the three?

Jimi Hendrix was not available — we checked. You know, there's a burnout factor. Some rock stars, sober or not, you have to put subtitles for what they're saying...so I didn't want to do that. We wanted to find three guys who could [intelligibly] talk about what they did. These guys are searchers; people who've found their voice. This is a movie about three distinct characters and how they found their voice. I think that's [the best way] to sum up what the movie's about.

WCP: Had they met each other before?

Glancing hellos...I don't think Edge and Jack ever met. I think Jimmy and Jack had met.

WCP: How much footage did you shoot of them together?

Two days. From the minute they said, “Hello,” we were filming.

WCP: Did you give them any instructions?

No instruction, no notes, no background. They were all calling me on their own and saying, “What do you want me to do? What do you want me to play?” And I was nervous about that, because they were nervous.

But I had this instinct that what they came up with on their own would have this energy to it. I bought into a process more than I bought into an idea. And the process was: “Let's let these guys tell their own stories.” There are no girlfriends, no rock critics, no historians, no band mates. And wouldn't that be interesting? You see something about Bob Dylan, and he talks about 5 percent of the time. Here, Jimmy Page tells his own story — and it's emotional, ethereal. More than accurate, I wanted it to be personal.

WCP: And unlike how musicians can sound during more formal, promotional interviews, none of them seemed rehearsed or jaded. They all seemed really passionate. Especially the “Rumble” moment. It must have been great to catch that.

And the thing is, if I had asked Jimmy, “Hey, play your favorite song and air-guitar,” he probably would have said no. But, organically, we just started talking and I said, “That album you're talking about — let's listen to it.” Everyone wants to tell their own story. You just have to encourage them, get them to relax, get them to trust.

Edge (l), Guggenheim

WCP: Did you see any diva behavior? Jack White seemed like such a contrarian. Like when he talking about learning an instrument when he was a kid and said, “Everyone plays guitar. Why bother?” Almost to the point of being angry.

I would love to have a diva story. I don't. Maybe because they were around each other? Musicians, when they get around each other, are very generous. I mean, when Jimmy plays “Whole Lotta Love,” it was kind of a throwdown, like “Look what I can do.” And then you see Jack and Edge go, “Oh, OK. Now it's time for me to step up.” Edge teaches Jimmy and Jack to play “I Will Follow.” It was a gradual opening-up.

WCP: Were you concerned about it all coming across as too self-congratulatory?

Friends of mine have called it a love letter — too glossified, maybe I'm too much of a fan? And I've done harder stuff, like An Inconvenient Truth. But I didn't want [Behind the Music-esque drama] to distract from what these guys did. I wanna know, How do you write a song? How did Led Zeppelin become Led Zeppelin, while all the other bands sort of fell away? Why did all these punk bands disappear, and why did U2 remain? What is it about their path, what is it about who they were that made them so distinct?

They each in the movie have a deep crisis. But it's more of a soulful, I don't know who I am, I don't know how to write crisis. Now that may not be as sexy as a band mate dying, but I wanted the movie to be about something more.

WCP: Who did you find yourself more in awe around: the rock stars or Al Gore?

The rock stars. I mean, when you work, you're working — I'm doing what I'm supposed to do. But then when they'd play a song, you can't help but go...[total fan face]. So it's harder to stay focused when you're right there, alone in a studio with Jimmy Page playing to you.

WCP: What kind of music do you listen to?

Right now, I like this band called Department of Eagles. And Delta Spirit. I love new music. Though I'm listening to a lot more Led Zeppelin right now. I love Dead Weather. [White's newest project.] It's pretty hardcore — Jack is still pushing it. He's so distinct, even in his three bands.

WCP: Speaking of Jack, who was that little kid in the movie who helped tell his story?

That's Jack White as a 9-year-old boy. Did it throw you off?

WCP: A little bit.

Yeah. Jack said to me, “I want to teach myself how to play guitar.” And I was like, cool. And the next day he shows up in a hat and a bowtie and a suit, and in the back, seriously, was a 9-year-old kid dressed exactly like him. And he said, “Davis, this is Jack. Jack, this is Davis.”

WCP: Any idea how he found the kid?

Not a clue. I let them tell their own stories, and how he told his was quintessential Jack.

WCP: The kid was good.

The kid was good. [Pause.] How do you know it's not him as a 9-year-old?

WCP: You just blew my mind.

Snyder now adds a parking surcharge to the cost of every ticket sold at non-football events at FedExField. All other venues around town put parking charges, if there are any, in the advertised price of the ticket.

Snyder doesn't. He throws it at the consumer at the point of purchase, as a line item on the invoice that can't be turned down by the buyer. For Paul McCartney, where around 60,000 folks attended and there was a $10 per ticket parking charge, whether they intended to use FedEx parking services or not, that added an additional $600,000 to Snyder's bank account.

For U2's upcoming show at FedEx, the forced charge is $8 per ticket; if that show sells out, the add-on charge will mean more than $700,000 sneaky dollars for Snyder. And this is with zero overhead, unless you count the cost to his reputation, which really can't be harmed around here at this point.

Snyder's the king of parking schemes, as outlined in the story, and a godfather of the sneaky surcharge: He's the guy, remember, who after buying the Redskins took a ticket price that had historically included state and local taxes, and then added a new charge equal to the state and local taxes onto the old ticket price, but left the old price as the face value of Skins tickets — just so he could act like he wasn't really raising the price of tickets!

So where's the outrage?

***

Betting Football season begins tonight!

(AFTER THE JUMP: Cheap Seats Daily gives you tonight's winner? "Biggest Loser" back in play? Which pregame show are you going to listen to? What's the meanest sport? Is there a Curse of Tom Boswell?)

Albert Haynesworth and Clinton Portis won't play for the Skins. What's left of Mike "Biggest Loser" Williams, who's down more than 100 pounds from his weight of a year ago, will suit up.

On paper it looks like the Ravens defense has more scoring potential than the Skins offense. Other than maybe to root for Williams, the game's not worth watching.

Unless you bet on it! So let's bet!

Skins are 3-point underdogs to Baltimore. The Over/Under is 31 1/2.

Put this month's mortgage and then some on the Ravens and next month's on the under.*

***

New sportstalker WJFK is having its own pregame broadcast for the preseason opener. To jab the owner of competing sportstalker WTEM, the flagship of the Redskins broadcasting network, 'JFK is calling its program "the Unauthorized Pregame Show."

'TEM's owner is, of course, Dan Snyder.

***

There's a professional lacrosse team that calls DC home: The Washington Bayhawks of Major League Lacrosse. The 'Hawks finished fifth in the six-team league in the just-completed 2009 season, which wasnt good enough to make the postseason tournament.

But, this area remains the lacrosse epicenter, so the MLL has put all playoff games in our market. The semis and championship match will be played next weekend, August 22-23, at Navy Marine Corps Stadium in Annapolis.

Back to me: When I was a kid in the mid-1970s I used to go to the Capital Centre to watch the Maryland Arrows of the National Lacrosse League, the first DC pro lacrosse franchise.

These were the most violent sporting events I ever attended. The team's mascot was a cartoon thug name Crunch Crosscheck and its slogan was "You gotta be mean to play box lacrosse!" Its radio commercials featured a faux endorsement from Attila the Hun. (The Arrows marketing team included a young AU graduate named Andy Dolich, now the chief operating officer of the San Francisco 49ers.)

The games lived down billing, too. You were pretty much guaranteed a bench-clearing brawl every night, and the situation in the grandstands was even bloodier. A gang of older guys from my neighborhood went to every game dressed up in the same outfits, topped by yellow and black CAT hats, from heavy equipment maker Caterpillar. They called themselves the CAT Patrol and they'd fight any willing partner at Arrows games. They never had trouble finding willing partners, and one guy even jumped the glass to throw punches with players from the Philadelphia Wings.

The league only lasted two seasons. The memories endure...

***

Could the Nats sudden downfall be blamed on The Boswell Curse?

The Nats turnaround began on July 21, sparked, we think, by Cheap Seats Daily's proclamation of Guaranteed Win Night and declaring "Thunderation" as the team's unofficial official fight song.

But, maybe it's all about Boswell.

You can look it up: Boswell went on vacation or otherwise stopped writing after a column that ran July 20.

The Nats Great Turnaround of 2009 began the next day.

Boswell's vacation ended or he otherwise started writing on August 10, when he typed up a column with the line "The Nats aren't just winning. They're clubbing people." That night the Nats get shellacked in Atlanta. And superstar in waiting Jordan Zimmermann announced he'd be getting Tommy John surgery and would be out for A YEAR AND HALF.

Last night, Day 2 of Boswell back on the job: Another shellacking in Atlanta. Nyjer Morgan gets picked off to end the game, even with his team down by four and the meat of the lineup behind him.

How pre-Turnaround is THAT?

Go back on vacation, Boz. Or write that the Nats will lose 14 of their next 20! And insist that the Lerners won't pony up for Stephen Strasburg.

Yeah, especially the Strasburg column! Please!

Good thing it's football season!

***

*Don't really bet the mortgages, dumbass....Unless you really really need the money!

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Photo of Dambisa Moyo courtesy of  www.dambisamoyo.com