Full trailer will debut ahead of Bandslam, opening Friday. Until then, squeal accordingly:

The story "New Moon Gets Trashed" isn't at ALL what it sounds like: Yahoo News.

Er, I mean the "Wolf Pack." From, of course, the next installment of the Twilight franchise, New Moon.

Very tween appropriate, don't you think?

Pictured: Alex Meraz (Paul), Chaske Spencer (Sam Uley), Bronson Pelletier (Jared), and Kiowa Gordon (Embry). Photo courtesy of Timothy White

Those of you who care surely already know, but those who don't might want to avoid certain retail locations once the sun goes down tonight.

Twilight, that suckalicious sparkling-vampire movie starring Robert Pattinson (eeeee!) and Kristen Stewart (Bella!), is out on DVD tomorrow. But it's not any ol' DVD release: It's a two-disc Special Edition DVD, and it's going on sale in just less than 12 hours, complete with parties at Borders, Walmart, and Blockbuster locations across the country officially starting at 10 p.m.

Certainly, though, the lines will form much, much earlier. Especially considering that the Twilight folks have not only promised plenty o' giveaways, but "Twilight actors and filmmakers will be making surprise appearances at select locations throughout the country!"

And if those facts don't make you faint, you'll certain need a splash of water to the face and a cookie if you decide to give plasma at one of the blood drives select Walmarts will host. It's unclear whether the Clinton, Md., store -- apparently the only Walmart throwing a Twilight party -- will be participating.

For more information and to find the location of the nearest screechfest, go to twilightthemovie.com.

Good morning, City Desk readers. The one and only Ted Scheinman is chilling in the tropics this week, and yours truly has been tasked with turning regular Wednesday roundup into WTF?! Wednesday roundup. How about this weather, huh? Huh? The boss (as in, my boss) knows what I'm talking about. News and commentary about Phish, pot, Metro, and taxes, after the jump.

Read More "Our Morning Roundup: Washington Times “Owns” Chas Freeman Story" »

In an interview with Nylon, Twilight star Kristen Stewart twice referred to her experiences since becoming involved with the franchise as "psychotic situations."

Stewart was particularly blunt about Twilight's publicity tour: "You get a slew of all these bullshit questions like, 'What’s it like to kiss a vampire?' and 'How much do you love Robert?' Then you’ll get one that’s actually real, but you’re like, 'No, I can’t right now, I can’t even consider [it].'"

Maybe by the time production for Eclipse rolls around, Who Will Play Jacob? will turn into Who Will Play Bella? Better start keeping your craziness to yourselves, people!

Start lining up outside Borders now: Twilight will be released in a special, 2,394-hour DVD Special Edition on March 21.

Surely, Amazon's preorders are already through the roof. If you haven't heard the details yet, the package will be "packed with bonus features that are sure to please even the most hardcore Twilighter.

"They include extended and deleted scenes, three music videos, a commentary with director Catherine Hardwicke, Robert Pattinson, and Kristen Stewart, a featurette on the "Comic-Con Phenomenon" and an in-depth, seven-part documentary, The Adventure Begins: The Journey from Page to Screen, that takes the fan through each step of the film-making process."

A seven-part doc! That should appease even the most ardent Twihards. (Yeah, I said it.)

(OK, so the announcement isn't exactly "just in." But until I can program RSS feeds to set off my alarm clock, I'll typically be as useful as dead-tree papers in terms of reporting breaking news.)

So, my dear Twilight fans: Taylor Lautner will be back, despite being toyed with by Summit Entertainment and the People Who Make Decisions these last few weeks that they may not want him for the franchise's second installment, New Moon. It's a pleasant surprise, considering that the widely reported rumors were practically eulogistic.

That's right, I said PLEASANT. I may have picked on director Catherine Hardwicke, writer Stephenie Meyer, and star Robert Pattinson for Twilight's tediousness.

But I blame Lautner for nothing -- as Jacob, the Native American complication in the Bella-Edward love story, the erstwhile Sharkboy did good. He smiled, he charmed, he made the young girls cry. (Or at least squeal.) Way to go!

And now, let's hear from you. Don't be shy!

After this post, I'm totally shutting up about Twilight. (Unless, of course, Taylor Lautner's not invited back to reprise his squeal-inducing role as Jacob Black in the sequel, which would be the biggest news ever.)

But I had to say something about Robert Pattinson's recent remark to OK! magazine about why he's not looking forward to filming the franchise's next installment, New Moon. Pattinson claimed that his lifeless-in-a-bad-way performance as hottie vampire Edward Cullen was marred because of..contact lenses.

"Wearing coloured contact lenses... It was like I constantly had sand in my eyes. I was wearing them for three months constantly and my eyes never ever accepted them! It took me 20 minutes per eye every single day and I ended up having to literally fold it into my eyeball."

And the star believes the dreaded lenses may inhibit his acting skills - because he couldn't properly portray his character's emotions due to the "two orange blobs" in his eyes.

He adds, "It was frustrating as well because normally your eyes are saying something, but if you've got two orange blobs in your face it's so annoying!

"The director (Catherine Hardwicke) would say, 'Look at her (Kristen Stewart) like you love her,' and I'd be like, 'I'm trying!'"

Oh Robert, that explains everything. Now what's the rest of the cast's excuse?

Twilight fans now have reason to hope that Edward Cullen will be even more perfect the second time around.

Summit Entertainment announced that Catherine Hardwicke, who directed the first big-screen adaptation of the Stephenie Meyer saga to middling-to-awful reviews, won't be returning to helm New Moon, the second of Meyer's four sparkling-vampire novels.

In a joint statement, Summit and Hardwicke claimed that New Moon's targeted winter 2009/spring 2010 release "does not work with Ms. Hardwicke's required prep time to bring her vision of the film to the big screen."

I'm sure Twilight's second-week box-office drop of 62 percent has nothing to do with it.

New Moon, new chance to make the vampires not look like this

And other equally vapid questions answered by yours truly and the Sexist's Amanda Hess in this week's Five Minutes You'll Never Get Back. Head on over to gender land to check out our Twilight-centric podcast.

An actor faces a lot of pressure when tapped to embody a beloved fictional character. But try living up to fan expectations when the author who birthed said character describes him as “devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful,” with a “musical voice” and “soft, enchanting laugh.”

Those adjectives -- along with many, many others that reiterate his perfection -- add up to Edward Cullen, the heartthrob teenage vampire who helped Stephenie Meyer's Twilight series become exalted as “the next Harry Potter.” Which would be accurate, if only the novels were better written. And the stories appealed to boys as well as giggly girls (albeit of all ages, apparently). And -- most crucial -- if the franchise's inaugural big-screen adaptation by director Catherine Hardwicke didn't suck more than its vampires actually do.

Read More "Review: “Twilight”" »

Your local multiplex will be a dangerous, dangerous place to be this weekend. Unless you like to hang with the tiny barbarians known as toddlers, who will be herded en masse to Walt Disney's Bolt, the John Travolta- and Miley Cyrus-voiced story about a cute little dog who thinks he's a superhero and not just a television star.

Slightly larger barbarians of the teen and tween variety, meanwhile, will be descending on a little movie called Twilight, a girl-meets-vampire story that would be so Blacula if not for its apparent status as OMG, the biggest thing since Harry Potter!. I'll be braving an afterschool showing today and posting my review here if I make it out alive.

And anyone who's looking for cinema instead of Hollywood has the following choice choices:

I've Loved You So Long, a respectable weepie (not always an oxymoron) that stars Kristin Scott Thomas as an ex-con trying to rebuild her life after 15 years in the pen;

JVCD, Jean-Claude Van Damme's more serious version of My Name Is Bruce in which he plays himself, i.e. a somewhat beloved but more often mocked action star who can't roundhouse-kick his personal demons;

A Christmas Tale, a 2 1/2 hour French take on dysfunctional holiday reunions; and

Lola Montes, a restored version of Max Ophuls' 1955 drama -- and his final film -- whose plot summary I leave to one Volker Boehm, helping out on IMDb:

"The film tells the tragical story of the life of Lola Montes who was a great adventurer and stopped being the attraction of her circus after having been the lover of various important men."

Though it's tragical, loving various important men can still keep a woman from being a circus attraction. Let's let Lola Montes remind us of how far we've come.