You Put Your Weed In There: When police raided two Capitol Hemp locations a month ago, authorities made it sound, somewhat implausibly, like a major bust. Now the police affidavit supporting the search warrant cops got to make the raid has come out, and the whole thing seems even sillier. Though drug laws require the store to claim all the smoking equipment they sell is to be used for tobacco, the cops saw through it: ""Your Affiant believes there to be sufficient probable cause that the store has no intention of selling these items to be used for tobacco use," the document says. Now that's crack policing. -3

Halcyon Days: Why buy only one historic, multimillion dollar D.C. house when you can have two? That seems to be the rationale behind the recent purchase of Halcyon House by Ryuji Ueno and Sachiko Kuno, who bought Evermay (another Georgetown estate) over the summer. Their representatives aren't talking about the purchases, but Ueno and Kuno are reportedly planning to keep both properties well-preserved. +2

Derrik Sweeney, Phone Home: For one Georgetown University student, studying abroad in Egypt wasn't just an educational experience—it was a correctional one, too. Derrik Sweeney, of Jefferson City, Mo., was arrested this week in Cairo, allegedly for throwing firebombs at Egyptian soldiers during a protest. Sweeney's parents say he was able to call home, and U.S. Embassy staffers are with him. No word on whether he plans to bring protest tactics home to Georgetown, but if so, meetings of the local Advisory Neighborhood Commission will be more exciting. +1

Turkeys, Run Free: Thanksgiving doesn't just mean the Detroit Lions on the TV, it also means an inordinate amount of press for a bunch of turkeys. (Not the D.C. Council; actual turkeys.) President Barack Obama pardoned two turkeys this year, Liberty and Peace, who were then sent off to live in Mount Vernon, Va. Considering they spent last night holed up at the W Hotel on 15th Street NW, they may consider that a downgrade. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 58 Today's score: +1 Thanksgiving bonus: +5 Today's Needle rating: 64

This was the year that Marion Barry discovered the concept of nudge.

After a debacle—no turkeys!—at his 2010 annual giveaway, the Ward 8 councilmember announced plans earlier this fall to revamp the affair by using the prospect of a free bird to encourage positive behaviors: To get a turkey, constituents would have had to do things like attend parent-teacher conferences, go to community meetings, or register to vote. Alas, by last week, the turkey incentivization efforts had been scaled back: Under the new rules, residents may get a health screening, but otherwise just need to prove that they live in the ward.

Still, the idea of using freebies to get people to do things seems like a good one. What might it look like if it was embraced by Barry’s colleagues from other parts of town? Some suggested ward- or councilmember-appropriate turkey incentives:

Jim Graham, Ward 1

• Beneficiaries must agree to have the energetic councilmember visit their home and personally take credit for cooking the entire Thanksgiving feast.

Jack Evans, Ward 2

• Turkeys will be available to residents who give a campaign contribution of under $500 to Evans in the name of every person attending their Thanksgiving meal.

Mary Cheh, Ward 3

• Cheh will generously load free turkeys into all cars with Ward 3 parking stickers—so long as those cars also display decals advertising private Northeastern liberal arts colleges.

Muriel Bowser, Ward 4

• Turkeys available to all. But locations will only be revealed to those who ask via “Dear PoPville” questions posted to the Prince of Petworth blog.

Harry Thomas Jr., Ward 5

• Recipients must demonstrate that their most recent Hooters meal was paid for from their personal bank account.

Tommy Wells, Ward 6

• Free turkeys will only be available to those who agree to walk or bike to their turkey meal—and to tweet about how livable and walkable their Thanksgiving was.

Yvette Alexander, Ward 7

• Residents may receive free turkeys only after demonstrating that they have pre-purchased future Thanksgiving spreads at the long-desired Skyland Walmart.

Illustration by Brooke Hatfield

Flapjake Fenty: Anyone wondering what Still Mayor Adrian Fenty will be doing for a living when his title changes to Former Mayor Adrian Fenty can wonder no more. Turns out the IHOP uniform suits him fine. The only problem will be when the obsessive triathlete has to take orders from customers eager to try the chain's "Bacon 'N Beef Burgers," which are made from ground beef and ground bacon. And sometimes, as in the case of the Bacon 'N Beef Bacon & Egg Cheeseburger, also topped with bacon. (And egg, and cheese.) +1

Buses Won't Shut Up: Get used to being yelled at by the buses on your street. Metro officials say a pilot program in which buses shout warnings at pedestrians—"Bus is turning!" "Look both ways!"—will continue for about a year. Might the program produce better results if if also included a loudspeaker that yelled at the bus drivers? "Pedestrian is crossing!" "Don't run them over!" -3

Turkeys on Layaway?: Cultivating an image as a politician who helps constituents out isn't easy. Especially not for politicians like D.C. Councilmember Marion Barry, whose reputations tend to precede them into just about any deal. The latest proof: Giant Food wouldn't hand over the 2,000 turkeys Barry had lined up for needy Ward 8 residents until the former mayor actually coughed up the $26,000 in private and corporate donations the supermarket chain demanded for the birds. Giant relented, in the end, but will the turkeys thaw in time to cook? +2

Missing in Action: For 30 years, Vietnam War veterans manned a booth between the Lincoln Memorial and the Vietnam Veterans Memorial, selling souvenirs to raise money to support their protests on behalf of nearly 1,800 soldiers who were never accounted for in the war. Late last night, though, an apparently accidental fire burned the booth down. Which makes the booth's nickname—"The Last Firebase"—sadly ironic. -1

No Flights for You: Don't even bother hustling off to the airport tomorrow if you're running late to catch your flight. Chances are, you won't make it through security, because a protest against the Transportation Security Administration's new body scanners and groping pat-downs will mean massive delays. Then again, driving won't be much more fun, thanks to Delaware. We may have overpaid for our Amtrak tickets, but at least the train means no traffic and no one has to touch your junk. -1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 46 Today's score: -2 Today's Needle rating: 44

Yesterday we had our monthly staff meeting after school. Interestingly enough, the first thirty minutes of this mandatory whole-school meeting were dedicated not to raising test scores, preparing for IMPACT observations, or discussing important events coming up at our school. Rather, we spent time talking about all of the exciting ways Aflac insurance can work for us! Seriously?! I don't need to come to work to hear a commercial. This staff meeting is required – not some optional sales pitch – and the Aflac presentation went long, so we had even less time for the rest of the agenda (which consisted of such clearly unimportant topics as "How and when to report child abuse" and discussing our "school safety plan").

DCist reports that the Sculpture Garden's ice skating rink remains closed due to "technical difficulties."

And Now, Anacostia gets over their conflicted feelings and celebrates a turkey giveaway.

Barry Farm (Re)Mixed trumpets the news that a Yes! Organic Market is coming to Minn and Penn SE. It's one of the busiest intersections in the city. It has just been crying out for some major retail. This could be it. Or the start of something. The market will be joining a brand new residential spaces.

Southwest...The Little Quadrant That Could chronicles the latest news in redevelopment plans for Buzzard Point.

Frozen Tropics wonders if alleyways should be reclaimed with art.

The Georgetown Metropolitan thinks there should be more bike lanes in their hood.

As far as I can tell this is an entirely new tradition, right up there with Fourthmeal. I hope this works for the Popeye'sPopeyes near my house–it's been flogging turkey since way before Thanksgiving, and somebody's gotta eat down the stock. Maybe you!