Winter Storm Washed: The first time snow was forecast for D.C. after Vince Gray was sworn in as mayor, it missed the city. The District's luck changed last week, but now it looks like the Gray administration's snow plan—don't let it snow—is working again, as an ice storm that was originally projected for the region should steer north of the city. The federal government, not taking any chances, will let workers telecommute or take unscheduled leave, anyway. +1

Panda Procreation: Butterstick watchers of the world, unite! The National Zoo is officially holding its collective breath, as trainers attempted artificial insemination of Mei Xiang over the weekend. The artificial insemination was the backup plan; Tian Tian tried, but failed, to mate with Mei Xiang on Saturday. The Zoo should know by the spring whether another cub is on the way. If not, China may replace the panda couple—presumably under the manufacturer's warranty provision in the lease for the animals. +2

Casa de Clinton: Sure, most Washingtonians couldn't just sign some papers and become a running back in the NFL. But if you've got $2.5 million lying around, you could at least pretend. Redskins star Clinton Portis has listed his McLean home for sale, complete with an "open and airy solarium." Alas, no mention of a "shark tank/pool/grotto complex," like former Wizards guard Gilbert Arenas had at his pad. +1

What It Takes: Running for president isn't easy; there's all the trips to Iowa and New Hampshire, the fundraising, the questions about where you were born, and of course, the requirement in the Constitution that you be 35 years old. A shortcut is available instead—you could just win the Nationals contest to be a racing president. There's no age minimum, and in fact, being over 35 is unlikely to help, but you do have to be between 5'7" and 6'6" to fit the costumes. As it happens, that's helpful if you want to do it the hard way, too. +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 47 Today's score: +6 Today's Needle rating: 53

Pandas Stay Put: People think of the District as a transient place, but the dirty little secret of most people who move here for work is that once they arrive, they find they kind of like it. And they stick around (just ask former Sen. Byron Dorgan, who recently signed up with a D.C. law firm instead of moving back to North Dakota). That rule goes for pandas, too. Chinese officials, in town for President Hu Jintao's state visit, announced that the pair of pandas at the National Zoo will extend their stint in D.C. for another five years, in exchange for $2.5 million. Remember, Mei Xiang and Tian Tian—you're required to get a D.C. driver's license once you've been here 30 days or more. +4

WTOP Gets Owned: In the famed "glass-enclosed nerve center" from which all-news radio WTOP monitors the region, there's only one big story today–the station's been sold. Deseret Management, a for-profit arm of the Church of Latter-Day Saints, sold 'TOP and other Bonneville International stations in Chicago, St. Louis, and Cincinnati to Hubbard Broadcasting Inc., which operates out of Minnesota, for $505 million. No word yet on rumors that weather and traffic will now move from the eights to the sixes. +1

Park Underneath, Please: The days of vast, and often empty, parking lots standing between the sidewalk and D.C. retail could be coming to an end. New rules proposed by the Office of Planning and Zoning would require stores to put parking lots under or behind their main building, instead of in front. Prediction: If that makes it into law, AAA will declare this yet another piece of D.C.'s war on cars. Oh, and also, streetscapes around town will look a lot better. +2

D.C. Council Bonanza: Say one thing for whichever D.C. voters actually bother to turn out for the April 26 special election for an at-large D.C. Council seat—they won't lack for choices. Two candidates officially declared their interest in the race today, Republican Patrick Mara and Ward 1 activist Bryan Weaver, and Vincent Orange (who is rapidly becoming the Harold Stassen of District politics) tells the Post he'll probably run, too. By the time Election Day arrives, is there anyone who's registered to vote in D.C. who won't be on the ballot? +2

Yesterday's Needle rating: 52 Today's score: +9 Today's Needle rating: 61

D.C.'s second-best panda showed all the signs. There was the hormone in the urine. There was the lack of energy and changes to her appetite. There was the drop in the hormone in the urine, which happens just before birth. And, lastly, there was the fact that she ovulated and the zoo staff attempted to inseminate her with tubed-up semen from Tian Tian, the black-and-white reluctant stud.

But the zoo put out a release today to say it's all a giant panda disappointment. Add it to the list. It's not the first pseudopregnancy for Our Lady of the Fujifilm Giant Panda Habitat. Maybe next year: Yesterday the zoo put Tian Tian to sleep and extracted some more of his boys, destined for the freezer.

Photo of frightening panda toys by yours truly.

A Chinese zookeeper has been suspended for denying food to Yong Ba, the elderly giant panda who birthed the National Zoo's Tian Tian (otherwise known as our beloved Butterstick's aloof father/sperm-donor). The keeper and a souvenir shop were involved in a scheme that forced 25-year-old Yong Ba to pose for photos with visitors. After she did (and after the tourists ponied up 10 yuan, or about $1.50), the elderly panda would get a piece of apple on a stick. Otherwise, according to media reports, she was fed only two plates of milk and three buns. Someone, identified by Chinese media as a "netizen," posted photos of Yong Ba's condition and predicament on a popular online forum, launching an investigation. Chinese officials assert that the sole panda at Shenzhen Safari Park in the Sichuan province is healthy, despite having to bang on the door of her pen for food.