I'm always excited about the Academy Awards -- yeah, there are still a few of us left out there -- but I'm guessing there won't be a whole lot of thrilling and/or shocking moments this year. (Most any upset would go thusly: Oooh, the frontrunner didn't win! Which means...someone or -thing completely undeserving did.)

But for the record, here are my predictions anyway. And tune in at 8:30 when, give or take some DVR-shifting, I'll be live-blogging the entire ceremony. Or at least for as long as my cold medicine holds out.

BEST PICTURE
WALL*E. Not nominated? The Dark Knight. Sigh! How about The Wrestler? OK, I'll stop. It's gonna be Slumdog Millionaire, though between the five that were chosen I loved Milk the most.

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You know it's the same every year: You swear you're going to see all the Academy Award-nominated films before the big day. You put the chosen ones on your to-do list as soon as awards season kicks off. You've got plenty of time!

Then suddenly it's Oscar night, and you're left shrugging at all the opening-monologue jokes because you chose to spend your weekends with Paul Blart and warring brides instead of watching Brad Pitt age backward.

It doesn't have to happen again. AMC Entertainment is offering its annual Best Picture crash-course on Sat., Feb. 21, a five-film marathon that for $30 grants you a daylong pass, a "souvenir lanyard," and a bottomless bucket o' popcorn.

So slack all you want if you really feel up to catching all the Academy's good-but-not-great anointed ones in a single sitting. (Apologies to Milk and Slumdog Millionaire, in my opinion the only films that deserve such accolades.)

The schedule below is the same for every theater, which this year includes Loews Georgetown 14, AMC Hoffman Center 22, AMC Potomac Mills 18, Loews Rio Cinemas 18, AMC Owings Mills 17, and AMC Tyson's Corner 16. Advance tickets can be purchased at AMC Theatres.

Milk
10:30 a.m.

The Reader
1:05 p.m.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
3:45 p.m.

Slumdog Millionaire
7:15 p.m.

Frost/Nixon
9:45 p.m.

I've still got rum balls to roll, people. So let's make this run-down of the week's openings quick, using an easy-to-understand grading system that's both familiar and festive:

The Wrestler: NICE
Gran Torino: NICE
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button: NOT AS NICE AS IT THINKS IT IS
Marley & Me: NAUGHTY
Bedtime Stories: REALLY NAUGHTY
The Reader: BORDERLINE, BUT I'M VOTING NAUGHTY
The Spirit: PRETTY BUT NAUGHTY
Valkyrie: WHO CARES

Look for reviews of The Wrestler, Gran Torino, and Benjamin Button on this site soon, if not already -- there's a good chance that, through the magic of the Internet, I'll still be sleeping when this posts.

Ho ho ho, etc.!

OK, so that quote is actually from Extras' Kate Winslet, when her character is giving a Tropic Thunder-esque speech on a surefire way to win an Academy Award. The full clip of her appearance on Ricky Gervais' show is here, with the Holocaust talk around the three-minute mark:

It was all I could think about while sitting through the first of Winslet's two holidays releases, The Reader. That, and her gigantic nipples. And the groceries I needed to pick up on the way home. It wasn't the most fascinating movie, despite the fact that all she does is bone a 15-year-old during half of it. Oscar!