This was the year that Marion Barry discovered the concept of nudge.

After a debacle—no turkeys!—at his 2010 annual giveaway, the Ward 8 councilmember announced plans earlier this fall to revamp the affair by using the prospect of a free bird to encourage positive behaviors: To get a turkey, constituents would have had to do things like attend parent-teacher conferences, go to community meetings, or register to vote. Alas, by last week, the turkey incentivization efforts had been scaled back: Under the new rules, residents may get a health screening, but otherwise just need to prove that they live in the ward.

Still, the idea of using freebies to get people to do things seems like a good one. What might it look like if it was embraced by Barry’s colleagues from other parts of town? Some suggested ward- or councilmember-appropriate turkey incentives:

Jim Graham, Ward 1

• Beneficiaries must agree to have the energetic councilmember visit their home and personally take credit for cooking the entire Thanksgiving feast.

Jack Evans, Ward 2

• Turkeys will be available to residents who give a campaign contribution of under $500 to Evans in the name of every person attending their Thanksgiving meal.

Mary Cheh, Ward 3

• Cheh will generously load free turkeys into all cars with Ward 3 parking stickers—so long as those cars also display decals advertising private Northeastern liberal arts colleges.

Muriel Bowser, Ward 4

• Turkeys available to all. But locations will only be revealed to those who ask via “Dear PoPville” questions posted to the Prince of Petworth blog.

Harry Thomas Jr., Ward 5

• Recipients must demonstrate that their most recent Hooters meal was paid for from their personal bank account.

Tommy Wells, Ward 6

• Free turkeys will only be available to those who agree to walk or bike to their turkey meal—and to tweet about how livable and walkable their Thanksgiving was.

Yvette Alexander, Ward 7

• Residents may receive free turkeys only after demonstrating that they have pre-purchased future Thanksgiving spreads at the long-desired Skyland Walmart.

Illustration by Brooke Hatfield

Maybe I missed it but I did not see anyone offering praise to Walmart.

Legal Aid wrote:

"I, for one, am thankful that the District has a TANF program so that there is a safety net for the District’s most vulnerable families with children. When parents lose their jobs and can’t qualify for unemployment insurance, when a woman is fleeing her abuser and when a father is waiting for his SSI application to be approved, there is a program that will make sure that their family is not utterly destitute. The program should be improved so that it can better help parents who can work become employable and provide better linkages to supports for parents who cannot work."

Poverty & Policy is thankful for....Tommy Wells support on the tax issue:

"I’m acutely anxious for those whose plight I know best — my fellow District of Columbia residents. So many unemployed or in jobs that don’t pay enough for them to afford the high cost of living here. A chronic problem made worse by the recession. For many of them, an upswing in the local job market won’t be enough.

Budget cuts have already damaged the local safety net. And now we’re told there have to be more cuts to get the budget back in balance. Councilmember Jack Evans is all for this. “Make as many cuts as possible,” he says, “so we can stay away from revenue hikes.”

I’m thankful not all Councilmembers share his view — especially thankful for my own Councilmember Tommy Wells’s outspoken support for a tax increase.

He’s of course concerned about the safety net programs under the jurisdiction of the Human Services Committee he chairs. But the argument he’s making for progressive reforms in our tax system reaches beyond his turf."

The DC Fiscal Policy Institute, of course, posts an awesomely wonky reponse from the Capital Area Asset Builders:

"It’s the busy season for us at Capital Area Asset Builders (CAAB); we’re gearing up for tax season. But while taxes can fill many with dread, CAAB is grateful for tax credits that help working families in DC, like the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC). 

The EITC can significantly augment the income of a working individual or family.  Both the federal government and DC offer an EITC, with the result that a single mother of two earning $15,000 can receive more than $6,000 in combined EITC benefits. Studies have shown that the EITC has helped many single parents leave welfare for work, and that the EITC lifts more children out of poverty than any other single federal program. The EITC also stimulates the local economy. A recent study showed that each dollar received from the EITC creates a further $1.58 in local economic activity, as families spend tax refunds locally on food, clothes, and other family needs." 

DC Learns pens a heartfelt tribute to literacy programs:

"My mother taught me how to read when I was three.  She told me that she was very bored staying at home and hated soap operas, so she read books about how to teach reading, and taught both myself and my sister so by the time I entered school, we were both  reading several grade levels ahead of where most of our peers were.  I also remember going over to one of my younger friends houses when I was in fourth grade to “teach” him how to read. At that age, I couldn’t really teach anyone how to read, but the intent to help was there.

Many people aren’t as lucky. There are many reasons why people aren’t literate, or didn’t get a high school diploma, or have problems learning the English language.  The good news is that there are many programs in the District to help them.  I’ve been fortunate to work in some of them and have visited most of them to know that because of the threat of constant funding shortages, people have to really want to be in this field. I’m thankful to have met and known for many years people who have taught me through their experience how to care deeply about others.

But most of all, I’m thankful for getting to know all of the adult learners I’ve taught, met through my job at the DC Public Library, talked briefly through my outreach activities, and also gotten to know through my advocacy efforts volunteering for DC LEARNs."

Congestion Nation: Apparently traffic has gotten so bad that the Weather Channel has started covering it, as if it were a natural phenomenon like fog or a snowstorm. The network has a Thanksgiving travel rating up today, which ranks the southern portion of the Beltway the seventh-worst road in the nation this weekend. Friday, though, temperatures should warm up a little. -1

Okay, Fine, Touch My Junk: All the panic about how bad security lines would be at airports today turns out to have been in vain, as anecdotes and Twitter updates are pouring in from DCA, IAD, and BWI that everything's moving just fine. Which means if you're still on the way to the airport, you've got plenty of time to ask the the Transportation Security Administration to make out with you and still catch your flight! +2

Jobs Are Better Than Stuffing: A few years ago, it would have been tough to imagine treating word that D.C.'s unemployment rate was 9.7 percent as good news. But we go to war with the economy Wall Street and decades of deregulation have left us with, not the economy we might wish we had. Which means today's announcement—the fifth-straight month the unemployment rate has ticked down here—is actually something to welcome. The bad news, of course, is that lower unemployment most likely means more people have simply given up and stopped looking for work—thus rendering them officially invisible in labor statistics. Don't think for a minute any politicians will let that stop them from hailing the news, though. +2

Playoffs?: Hope springs eternal in the hearts of Redskins fans; we went to a Chuck Brown show one summer at which the late Lil' Benny led the crowd in a chant that the Skins were going to the Super Bowl, a few weeks before yet another losing season kicked off and only a few months after the losing season before that had ended. And so it's hardly surprising that at 5-5, the team has people talking about how it could make the playoffs. Such talk is the very definition of preposterous optimism, but hey, it's Thanksgiving. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 44 Today's score: +4 Thanksgiving bonus: +4 (we like turkey) Today's Needle rating: 52

Insult to Injury: Riding a bike around D.C. often feels like taking your life into your hands. And with good reason; drivers are constantly standing by, ready to run you over at any minute! That's bad enough, but one cyclist who got hit by a taxi last month was also given a traffic ticket for his troubles. Maybe he should have just taken Metro, where at least they don't charge you with violating the law when they run you down. -3

One Million Travelers: People in the region have so much to be thankful for next Thursday that many of them will be departing, en masse. That's the prediction from the American Automobile Association, which says—rather specifically—that 1,036,600 Washingtonians will travel 50 miles or more to celebrate Thanksgiving. 95 percent of travelers will drive. Remember, don't eat tryptophan-laden turkey and then get behind the wheel! +2

José Andrés, National Treasure (of España): Last summer, after the late, lamented Paul the Octopus correctly predicted Spain's World Cup victory over the Netherlands, octopus was pulled from the menu at Jaleo and all of José Andrés' restaurants. That display of culinary/sporting patriotism may have something to do with why the Spanish government is honoring the D.C.-based chef with its Order of Arts and Letters. With other restaurants focusing on Mexican, Middle Eastern, and Latin American cuisine, Andrés could be collecting prizes for years to come. +1

Help Metro Fight Congress: With the national debt soaring, apparently every little dollar helps. So Congress recently cut back on the cash employees could hold back from their paychecks, pre-tax, to pay for Metro rides, from $230 a month to $120. Now Metro is trying to fight back, urging riders to contact their elected representatives to ask them to help save transit benefits. We'll do just that; surely, Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton would vote to restore the funding. Wait, what? Oh. Never mind. +1

Yesterday's Needle rating: 43 Today's score: +1 Friday bonus: +2 Today's Needle rating: 46

Welcome to what stands to be the least-read City Desk post of all time! Above, please find a photo of my brother-in-law. As you can see, the lessons on how to dress himself are going well! More important, that man can fry a turkey. By the time you read this, I will be at his house, enjoying a gluten-free Thanksgiving prepared by my gluten-free sister and attended by my brother and his family as well. Why am I telling you this? BECAUSE IT IS THANKSGIVING AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE READING BLOGS.

After the jump, more reasons not to read this post.

You know what I like? Brussels sprouts. You know what my wife hates? Brussels sprouts! We both really enjoy Brussels, where my good buddy Fabrice used to live, but she cannot even stand to see the city's namesake vegetable at a store. One time at a farmers market I waved a sprig of them at her—Hey! ARE YOU REALLY STILL READING THIS?

People talk a lot about the dangers of dressing, or stuffing, or whatever you may call it. I say, if it's dangerous, then danger is my middle name. A couple times in the last few days I've wondered what gluten-free stuffing might taste like. Cornbread, maybe? Seriously, are you really reading this?

Every year on Thanksgiving I watch the Lions play someone. This year they're playing the Packers, which should be a real hot point of discussion in Sault Ste Marie, Mich., where my parents live, and where the Packers are favored by native Yoopers while the Lions are the sentimental faves of the trolls. For Jesus' sake, stop reading this and do something festive!

I used to work at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and know many ways to prepare turkeys as a result. The prettiest I ever saw was Herb Roasted Turkey, which calls for herbs to be placed under the skin so it looked kind of like stained glass. That's a nice thing to ponder instead of focusing on how lousy turkey tastes. Unless you fry it, which is pretty good. OK, I think we're done here. If you really must read some news, try:

The Washington Post

The New York Times

The Prince of Petworth

They'll all be blogging the bejesus out of today.

Happy Thanksgiving! Love your families and friends! Follow me on Twitter!

Maybe this is the end of the media blitz. Maybe we will never see this clown again. Maybe we will never get to hear her whine about waving-the-white-flag-of-surrender, hear that bridge-to-nowhere lie, and watch her incite hatred at rallies, etc. I hope this is it.

Yesterday Palin appeared in Wasilla (I miss you Wasilla!) to pardon a turkey. After issuing her pardon, she did an interview with a local TV station (so long Greta). And, well, things go very wrong. Warning: this video is disgusting.

Via Huffington Post.