Czaban's proof? WTEM-AM.

"If people ask why can't Snyder just hire really good people and let them do what they do, well, that's exactly what he's doing on the radio front," says Czaban, co-host of "The Sports Reporters," the drive-time show and jewel in the schedule of Snyder's WTEM, also called ESPN980.

Czaban's got an ego, and he really is really good at what he does, but the "really good people" he's referring to here is Bruce Gilbert, CEO of Red Zebra Broadcasting and the guy who Snyder put in charge of WTEM last year when he bought what was then the only sports station in the market. Gilbert canned on-air personalities Brian Mitchell and Al Koken, but kept Czaban and his longtime partner, Andy Pollin, in the WTEM stable.

Can we trust Czaban's kind words for Snyder? On paper, Czaban's conflicted out the wazoo. He works for Snyder, and needs the WTEM job more than ever now: the bosses at FoxSports Radio, where Czaban had his own syndicated morning show for the last five years, just gave him his walking papers as a Christmas present. Stephen A. Smith takes over Czaban's old time slot there.

Czaban had been tougher on the Redskins than anybody in the market before Snyder became his boss. One example: Czaban lost a moonlighting gig with the Redskins post-game show on Comcast sports three years ago after a testy interview with Mark Brunell, during which he asked the QB how comfortable he was about his job status. Brunell was visibly peeved, and Redskins management quickly complained to Comcast about Czaban. He was immediately suspended by Comcast, and did not return to the postgame show the following season.

Yet, despite the conflicts, any reduction in the harshness of Czaban's Skins critiques under Snyder's ownership has been too subtle to notice.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Who coined "Clinton Tortoise"? Will NFL go for the Clooney Rule? Hire the OTHER Mike: Forget Shanahan, go for Leach! Will next year's EagleBank Bowl be held in a telephone booth?)

For but one of the hundreds of examples of the fun they've had at the Redskins' expense amid the team's debacle of a season: In October, Czaban and Pollin coined the nickname "Clinton Tortoise" for quickly aging running back Clinton Portis.

Just doing his job, Czaban says. "I don't think I've said anything about the Redskins this year that hasn't been said by other people more directly and more harshly," he says.

And Snyder has let him say it all. Czaban says he hasn't even met Snyder since the ownership change. And the ratings of the Sports Reporters in their target demographic — males 25-54 — have never been higher.

The biggest test of Snyder's laissez faire-ness will come a year from now, when Czaban's and Pollin's contracts with Red Zebra come up for renewal. Will Snyder continue to pay Czaban and let him be Czaban?

Or will Czaban's entertaining honesty earn Stephen A. Smith ANOTHER call?

***

The Rooney Rule, at least as applied in the Redskins latest coach search, has turned into a joke, making liars and traitors out of co-workers.

I say the NFL should take its phony foot-in-the-door program several steps further, to add more giggles. Why not institute, say, the Clooney Rule? In honor of George Clooney, nobody gets hired until a team interviews a cheerleader. And the Looney Rule, where at least one certifiable wacko gets a shot (Greg Blache could fill that quota with the Skins). Or maybe the Soon-Yi Rule, in which at least one daughter and/or wife of Woody Allen is considered before anybody's signed?

It's just a joke! Right?

Butt seriously: If, after all the charades, Mike Shanahan is indeed at the end of the Redskins rainbow, nobody's going to be excited by the hire. He won't sell one club seat.

But there is an exciting coach who should be available soon. In fact, as I type this, Texas Tech's Mike Leach, the most exciting football coach in the land might already be up for grabs. Forget the West Coast Offense; he's got the West Texas Offense! Leach is Steve Spurrier, with discipline!

If the papers got things right, Leach is Buford Pusser in a pair of sweat pants. He's going to lose his job at Texas Tech because he locked a player with a concussion in a dark room for an entire practice. Imagine what he'd do to Albert Haynesworth! When Haynesworth comes out of the game on a cart, would Leach allow him to put himself back in the game a few plays later? Hell no! Leach would leave him strapped to the cart all game long! That's just what these Redskins need!

Actually, I'm with Leach in this debacle. The player who Leach allegedly wasn't nice to is the son of Craig James, a lead ESPN football analyst. Leach was suspended yesterday not for having made the kid stand in a dark room, but for refusing to apologize to the player's dad! Craig James got the media's ear early on, but the worm is starting to turn. Leach has asserted that Craig James was constantly phoning him and complaining and acting "like a Little League father." Even if Leach is exonerated, he's a goner with the Red Raiders. Texas Tech's my alma mater, and damn if that place ever misses a chance to screw things up. Lubbock just ain't big enough for Leach.

(Texas Tech is the school that brought in Bobby Knight, the godfather of player abuse, after he was fired for assaulting a kid and lying about it.)

***

Kendall Marshall, an O'Connell guard who was starting for his high school varsity team when he was in sixth grade (somehow, that was seven years ago), is not as highly prized as he once was by the ranking services. But his future coach, North Carolina's Roy Williams, says Marshall's going to be just fine.

***

The Examiner ran a rosy preview of the EagleBank Bowl yesterday.

The second EagleBank Bowl takes on greater prominence than the inaugural 2008 game — a matchup of Wake Forest and Navy that was buried in the bowl mix with an 11 a.m. Dec. 20 start.

That game drew fewer than 29,000 fans, far short of the average bowl attendance of 55,183. Many, including the Navy squad, came from a short distance. Only 22 sponsors signed on.

But this year's game has a forecast for partly sunny skies and a more fan-friendly 4:30 p.m. kickoff, and bowl organizers hope to seat 40,000 for the nationally televised battle. There are more than 60 sponsors and an intriguing first-ever matchup between UCLA and Temple, a marquee program from the Pacific-10 Conference versus a team from the Mid-American Conference that hasn't been to a bowl game in 30 years.

"This is a dead time of year in D.C.," said Steve Beck, EagleBank Bowl executive director. "It's creating a lot of activity."

The Washington Post, also yesterday, said that organizers "were hoping for an attendance of around 25,000."

The Post came closest. In today's Washington Times, in the middle of Dick Heller's gloomy and doomy review of the contest, he put the crowd at 23,000 and change. Even that number might be inflated. The stadium looked much emptier than that in photos.

And, as pointed out by SB Nation, the attendance slot on the official EagleBank Bowl box score was filled with "NA."

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

But, it's only preseason, the team won, he's only in the second year of Jim Zorn's offense, he's had several offensive coordinators in his career, he...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ...what? where? Oh, sorry...I nodded off going over all the defenses of Campbell.

1-7 stinks. But it ain't that surprising.

***

Speaking of same ol': George Michael's gone, but his legacy lives on at WRC.

Michael worked for Dan Snyder but never told his viewers that. Now, we have Lindsay Czarniak, the station's co-lead sportscaster since Michael's departure, wearing licensed Redskins products on the air while working for Snyder's broadcasting department. And we have her partner Dan Hellie co-hosting "The Jim Zorn Show" with Larry Weisman, a Dan Snyder staffer who writes press releases disguised as news stories for the team. Just as the Redskins web site teases Czarniak's work on preseason games, the team teases Hellie's work on "The Jim Zorn Show."

Snyder owns both broadcasts.

Hellie and Czarniak, despite the infomercial work and how silly it makes the WRC news operation look, are still allowed to report on the Redskins for WRC's news shows.

That's the way the station's boss wants it.

AFTER THE JUMP: Still whining about WRC reporters being BFF's with Dan Snyder? Will Tom Sherwood give speeches for the mayor? Snyder creates Trickle-Down-Gouge-enomics? Beckham can't score in DC? Dunn and Zimmerman are copycat sluggers?

Michael Jack, president and general manager of WRC-TV/NBC4, said so in a press release from the Redskins Park in February that announced that Channel 4's journalists were now beholden to Snyder, and would work on the FIVE (!) weekly Snyder-produced Redskins infomercials the station will broadcast: “We think the NBC brand and our No. 1 rated newscasts, combined with the Redskins brand, will be the perfect fit as we look to produce year-round programming,” said Jack, who probably learned a lot about the profitability of selling out to the Redskins from Michael before canning the sportscasting legend last year.

In the same release, Janice Schmidt, a Redskins senior vice president,  gushed that the team was "pleased to expand our relationship" with WRC, and how great it was to see "the No. 1 television station and the No. 1 sports team in Washington joining forces."

Why stop with just selling out to the Redskins, Mr. Jack? Why not have Tom Sherwood give speeches for Mayor Fenty? And get Pat Collins to go gang-banging for MS-13!

Is Jim Vance OK with all this crap?

I'll stop typing these conflict-of-interest rants just as soon as I get my invitation to the WRC news department's Redskins salon! I know it's coming!

***

The FanZone, a private parking lot near FedExField did gangbuster business.

The FanZone positioned itself as the anti-Snyder Parking Lot. It was marketed by WJFK, Dan Snyder's competition in the sportstalk radio realm, with longer hours, no tailgating restrictions — and a discounted price.

"While some tailgating has been toned down" read the pitch, "we’re taking it to the next level! We're opening early and staying open late."

A season pass cost $300, or $50 cheaper than Snyder's cheapest parking pass.

There's no mention of FedExField or the Redskins anywhere in the solicitation.

The FanZone passes sold out for the season in no time flat.

Nobody in their right brain would pay $300 for parking in middle-of-nowhere PG County before Dan Snyder bought property there. Now, all because of Snyder, $300 is a bargain!

Forget supply-side or demand-side! Snyder's the leader of the Gouge-Side School of Economics.

***

More than 22,000 came to RFK to see David Beckham and his Los Angeles Galaxy mates not score against DC United on Saturday. Remember when Beckham sold out the stadium and had Craigslist all atwitter with scalping offers? Seems like only yesterday.

There are few things sadder in the sports page than the box score of a 0-0 match. The Washington Post's Steven Goff reports that United was without Coach Tom Soehn because of a suspected case of swine flu. It's the new sports hernia.

***

Texas Monthly has an incredible feature on Texas Tech football coach Mike Leach. What a guy. There's no local connection to this story, 'cept I went to school there, and Leach is the first Techster the national media has cared about since longtime DC resident John Hinckley. But even if you've never been to Lubbock, you'll love Leach and the story, or I'll refund the time and money you spent reading it.

***

The Nats only got 26,307 for Friday night's loss to Milwaukee, despite the Lerners flooding the market with $1 tickets. I figured a much bigger crowd woulda showed on the day the team introduced The Future. The weather must have mussed everything up.

Then only 19,000 and change showed up for Saturday night's loss, despite all the goodwill from the Strasburg signing and even though it was Frank Howard Bobblehead Night.

On Sunday, the Nationals ended the long post-signing losing streak and avoided yet another sweep.

Ever notice that whenever Adam Dunn hits a homer, Ryan Zimmerman does, too? It's spooky.

***

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The Washington Kastles lost to the Philadelphia Freedoms, the team named after an Elton John song or vice versa, in their home opener last night. The big stories were the sellout crowd that filled Empty Parking Lot Arena, or whatever the temp downtown stadium is called, and the appearance of tireless Venus Williams, who gave a clinic to local kids by day and starred on the court at night.

The loss puts the Kastles at 0-3. Amazing how quickly they've blended into the DC sports scene.

***

Speaking of: The Nats lost again in Colorado. Just another day at the office for the boys: Three errors for Washington (none for the Rockies), one-run loss.

Austin Kearns, he of the $8 million 2009 salary, had a huge pinch hit single in the 8th inning. Huge not for the Nats, but for Kearns, since it put his batting average above .200 for the first time in a while. Alas, the team's mandatory all-star slot has already been filled by Ryan Zimmerman.

The Nats have a death grip on the 1st Pick in next year's draft, and are now 14.5 games out of second-to-last place in the NL East. The team can boast a record -196-run run differential differential (R2D2™) with the league-leading Los Angeles Dodgers.

Manny Acta et al will try to fight off the broom with a getaway-day game this afternoon in Denver.

AFTER THE JUMP: Inevitable Chris Cooley backlash starting already? The guy who taught us "Macaca" still thinks he's righteous? Alberto Gonzales banished to an American archipelago? The Irish play basketball?

***

Whereas being a wild ass came naturally to past Redskins wild-asses (John Riggins, Curtis Jordan, etc...), Chris Cooley's wild-assishness by now seems incredibly forced. Cooley has gotten desperate to throw his wacky side in everybody's face. Every week there's a new stunt, promoted on his blog. If it ain't a shot of his naughty bits, it's a flaming cow. And on and on.

So when somebody at Extremeskins, Dan Snyder's message board, let everybody know that Cooley will be featured on a segment of ESPN's magazine show "E60", with him playing around on a ranch, the reaction wasn't all pro-#47.

The poster SkinsTerps26, whose board signature is a photo of Cooley, singed the star like a cow carcass, and probably spoke for a lot of fans as he did so:

"Cooley being all over TV and Internet bug me," wrote SkinsTerps26. "You are a funny guy... kinda... but after the cow burning and those stupid mustard peanut butter and ham sandwiches, its time to take a time out from video appearances. Go learn how to block."

Ouch!

***

From characters to character: The Examiner reports ex-Senator George Allen is putting out a sports book. "The Triumph of Character: What Washington Can Learn from the World of Sports."

The publisher's tease says Allen is qualified for such a book because he "spent the better part of his life with one foot in both the world of sports and the world of politics." He spent the worst part of his life with one foot in his mouth. Isn't his license to ride the high horse still suspended?

But, damn, his dad was my favorite football coach of all time.

***

Another guy who left town in shame: Alberto Gonzales, the short and disgraced former attorney general, not the shortstop for the disgraceful Washington Nationals, has been hired to teach by my alma mater, Texas Tech. Gonzales probably figured Lubbock is a fine place to go when the rest of the world hates you, seeing how it worked out for Bobby Knight. If Coach Knight were still leading the Red Raiders, you know he'd be asking Gonzales to draw up a memo on how far he could legally push his players during "enhanced workouts." Those who want Gonzales tried for war crimes can take comfort knowing that while it ain't jail, a stay in Lubbock is a close second.

The town gave us Buddy Holly, bless him, but has been making up for that ever since. (Before hiring Gonzales, Tech chancellor and Democrat-turned-Republican ex-Congressman Kent Hance sacrificed whatever pride the school had trying to land the George W. Bush Library.)

***

Speaking of my roots and coaches in exile: Great story in the Washington Times about Jay Larranaga, son of George Mason coach Jim Larranaga.

The littler Larranaga is the player-coach of the national basketball team of Ireland. The squad's never been good. Writer Bob Cohn wraps up Irish international hoops history thusly: "In Ireland's only Olympic appearance in men's basketball in 1948, it lost all four games by an average of 51 points, including a 71-9 defeat by Mexico."

Ok, but in fairness to my people, folks are still talking about that '48 Mexican squad, nicknamed El Fuego Cinco*.

*Nobody's really talking about the '48 Mexican national basketball team, and they weren't really called "El Fuego Cinco." Continued apologies for my Los Lobos spanish. But the W. Times' story is really fun.