Gay marriage: Repubs want to scratch it
Amendment: They tried to attach it
The "big fucking deal"
Rejected their zeal
Since Dems had the votes to dispatch it

I'm hearing the soundbite already
Enrollment in schools is quite steady
The first time in years
They've calmed parents' fears
(Or private school fees are too heady?)

Some places can now safely boast
That citizens like them the most
A dive, you are cravin'?
Head out to The Raven
It's best for a PBR toast

This cephalopod needs a name
To bring it attention and fame
With Tai Shan departed
The zoo's brokenhearted
And Octy's their number one game

How loudly the bell seems to toll
Yet Fenty has not read that poll!
I know, there's this storm
But seems like poor form
Ain't being informed, like, your role?

Seems AG will soon be elected
An outcome P. Nickles rejected
I thought you were for it
But no, you deplore it?
Please tell us, why now you've objected

The loss of Tai Shan was so bitter
Dear zoo creatures, make a new critter!
Preferably furry
And cute in a flurry
And great if we get a whole litter

Sometime around 8, Tai Shan entered a FedEx container and headed out to Dulles. I hope he took 123 to the Toll Road, rather than stay on 66, which is a killer! He will be flying back to China as part of a deal under which they sell us cheap power tools for the foreseeable future, accompanied by his redneck cousin Mei Lan, who is returning from Zoo Atlanta (sadness). Mei Lan will bore Tai Shan to tears on the way over, talking about how much better Atlanta's weather is than D.C.'s and why Drivin' N Cryin' never got their due.

WE ARE AT WAR: Against the word "retarded." But who will compensate the people of Boston for the loss of a sixth of their vocabulary?

WHAT CITIES HAVE I NOT INSULTED YET? Let's go to Haiti, where members of a Meridian, Idaho, church that believes "Children are to honor and obey their parents" has hit a sporting patch! The church calls the folks "falsely arrested"; I suspect the folks down there are confronting reality for perhaps the first time in a while.

TOYOTA IN FREEFALL! If you bought Ford stock last year (full disclosure: I did!), you're accelerating all the way to the bank! I have a complaint about my '03 Toyota Matrix–the light bulb under the heater controls blew out almost immediately, and every time I've asked about getting it replaced, the dealership has told me it'll cost me way too much to pop off the dashboard. WHY ISN'T THE MEDIA REPORTING THIS?

HEY FOOD FANS: Don't miss Robert Sietsema's CJR piece from yesterday about the history of New York food criticism.

PORTIS SAYS HE'S READY TO PLAY. Should be some fun times in that locker room!

ALSO MAYBE THE NATS WON'T HAVE A WINNING SEASON. But numbers cannot account for the magic of Tony Plush. I think the playoffs are a certainty.

WHAT WILL WE CALL THE STORM ON TWITTER? How about, "Hey, get back to work!"

THAT'S ALL! AVOID VEGETATIVE STATES! EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT AN "ASPIRIN HO" IS IF YOU FIND A SEC! DON'T SEND ANYTHING FEDEX IF YOU DON'T WANT IT TO SMELL LIKE PANDA SWEAT!

More after the jump.

Frances Nguyen laughs lightly after a brief sigh. She fights back emotions as she reflects on what's taken place in her life over the past few years—first, a husband and, now, a baby on the way. In a way, she owes both to Tai Shan.

Before Tai Shan, Nguyen had no real interest in pandas. It wasn't until she viewed the lovable guy on his Web cam—courtesy of the zoo—and noticed his human-like behavior that she became intrigued. So intrigued that she eventually founded Pandas Unlimited, a fan club that raises awareness on panda conservation. Most of its members were single women—love through a chance encounter with a fellow panda enthusiast was the last thing on Nguyen's mind.

Foo Cheung had joined Pandas Unlimited out of his love for photographing the quiet bears. He was shy and made only a few comments on Nguyen's postings to the group. Its members met regularly at the zoo, and while everyone else was under Tai Shan's spell, Cheung opted to photograph Tai Shan's mom.

"I thought that was a bit odd, that he would only photograph the mama," chuckles Nguyen."But when I think about it, I think he was just captured by the beauty of the nature of the mama panda."

Over time, she and Cheung became friends. After a year, they became a couple. They were married on Sept. 19, 2009. With the exception of a panda cake topper, the wedding was panda-free, instead focusing on Cheung's Chinese and Nguyen's Vietnamese heritages.

And now Tai Shan's getting ready to leave. "There's like this empty space. I'm going, 'What do I do with my weekends now?' as my husband and I were still going to the zoo almost every weekend to see the pandas," says Nguyen.

While Nguyen has been getting all emotional about Tai Shan's departure, her husband, a scientist, seems to be focusing more on the DNA of the matter. Tai Shan is headed to China to enter a breeding program.

"My husband reminds me that this is for the better, for the panda gene pool," says Nguyen.

While some members of Pandas Unlimited are making plans to visit Tai Shan in China, Nguyen will have to make plans after her baby is born. The group was raising money to "adopt" has already "adopted" Tai Shan through Pandas International, a non-profit that looks after the preservation of pandas, but Nguyen says a Chinese company beat them to it.

Tai Shan's final hours in the nation's capital are winding down—today's the last day to see him. Nguyen has been at least twice in recent days, including Saturday, the day of his farewell party. "I feel like Tai Shan was a gift," says Nguyen. "Now I'm sharing my angel."

Photos courtesy of Frances Nguyen

Snow

Several wimpy area school systems will be closed today (Montgomery, Prince George's, Anne Arundel), but not the District. The District is badass. Opening on time!

It should turn nice this afternoon. But look into the Capital Weather Gang's Snow Lover's Crystal Ball: There's more stuff coming! "At the moment, everything remains on track for a major winter storm beginning during the day Friday and continuing into Saturday," the gang reports. "A substantial accumulation of snow is becoming increasingly likely."

Who's organizing the snowball fight? Detective Baylor?

In other news, today is Tai Shan's last day on view at the National Zoo before he's FedExed to China. The underwear bomber is cooperating. And the Oscar nominations are out ("Be still, my horrified heart," writes Tricia Olszewski, Washington City Paper's film critic. "We perhaps all knew it was coming, but now it’s official: The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences believes that Avatar was one of the best films of 2009.")

Metro riders at Shady Grove on Monday night were wondering what the crime tape and white sheet were all about. The Examiner reports that a 22-year-old man killed himself by jumping from the seventh floor of the parking garage:

It was the second major incident in three days that the agency did not share with the public. On Saturday, a maintenance vehicle carrying 20 workers slid on an icy rail into a truck on the Red Line between the Medical Center and Grosvenor-Strathmore stations, causing a chain reaction that damaged four trucks. No one was injured, but the agency did not alert the public.

It also failed to notify its safety oversight group within two hours, as required.

Metro's anti-terrorism drill at Union Station yesterday—50 transit police officers, bomb technicians, M-4 rifles, and the scariest thing of all, McGruff the Crime Dog—will be followed by several more simulated tactical operations, the agency reports:

The first drill takes place on Friday, Feb. 12, in the parking lot at RFK Stadium. The scenario simulates an explosion on a Metrobus and an explosive found on a second Metrobus. The second exercise on Saturday, Feb. 13, entails an explosion on a Metrorail train in the tunnel between the Rosslyn and Foggy Bottom-GWU Metrorail stations. The final tactical drill takes place Wednesday, Feb. 24, where active shooters are reported at the Friendship Heights Metrorail station.

Happy hump day.

Full gallery after the jump.

Once swine flu has been diagnosed
With Tamiflu, you will be dosed
Now places not distant
Have cases resistant
Here's hoping you won't be a ghost

Enough of such sadness and gloom
This week brought good news for the groom
The motion has carried
So go on, get married
The question's not if, but to whom?

The season is here for bright lights
With gifts of big trees and new rights
Amidst the warm fuzzies
Watch out for those scuzzies
Who try to start carjacking fights

D.C. Wire's Marion Barry coverage leads the Post's site this a.m., wherein Councilmember David Catania "steps to the plate" (Barry loves that phrase) on the issue of granting and then yanking public contracts from his former ladyfriend. "These are public funds," he says. "There needs to be an accounting." Barry's spokesperson promises the good councilmember will actually answer some questions on that front today. Other Council react: Chairman Vincent Gray avoided the matter, issuing some boilerplate about how he's worked to increase the Council's ethics. Barry's across-the-river compadre's remarks were reserved for the kicker. Yvette Alexander: "The nine lives of Marion Barry, except I think he has maybe 11 lives." And, thanks, WaPo for giving City Paper credit on the voicemail tapes! The TV did the same last night, although funnily News Channel 8 cut off the last part of our cover image.

Speaking of: Get yours today! As the Sexist points out, they won't last long. Even Gawker thinks this week's cover is a thing of beauty, and they almost never say anything nice.

Only in D.C.: The anti Real World DC blog nerds out on the chances of former castmembers running for Congress and otherwise entering politics. Personally, I stopped paying attention after Puck. Why does this town care about these people? It's plain weird.

Borderstan's seeing the glass-half-full on stolen bikes: Registered ones are nine times more likely to be returned. (As a glass-half-empty blogger, I would point out that 9X0 still = 0. But, hey, give it a shot.)

The train's out of the barn now: Metro riders with video cams (i.e., every one of them) are going German Youth on operators. First, there was the texting-while-driving incident. Now we have a Fox 5 "Exclusive": a sleepy operator. The operators' union response to growing complaints from squished and pissed-off Red-Line riders? It's yesterday's news, but worth repeating: "At least you're alive."

You know you can't get enough. Pandacam is streaming live today on Butterstick's fourth birthday with the requisite "cake" made out of bamboo, beets, and other delicious-to-pandas ingredients. Happy birthday, Tai Shan!

(Pride Parade photo by LL Mike DeBonis.)

A Chinese zookeeper has been suspended for denying food to Yong Ba, the elderly giant panda who birthed the National Zoo's Tian Tian (otherwise known as our beloved Butterstick's aloof father/sperm-donor). The keeper and a souvenir shop were involved in a scheme that forced 25-year-old Yong Ba to pose for photos with visitors. After she did (and after the tourists ponied up 10 yuan, or about $1.50), the elderly panda would get a piece of apple on a stick. Otherwise, according to media reports, she was fed only two plates of milk and three buns. Someone, identified by Chinese media as a "netizen," posted photos of Yong Ba's condition and predicament on a popular online forum, launching an investigation. Chinese officials assert that the sole panda at Shenzhen Safari Park in the Sichuan province is healthy, despite having to bang on the door of her pen for food.