Above is an ad e-mailed out by the Redskins ticket office this week. As you read this, remember, for chuckles, that just a couple months ago Redskins executive Mitch Gershman was claiming in press releases that the team had a waiting list of "over 200,000."

Sure, the Skins waiting list has long been bogus. But this year it's also become apparent that the NFL's blackout rule is enforced as stringently as its steroids policy.

(AFTER THE BREAK: Where's Chris Cooley in that photo? Clinton Tortoise? Lord Farquaad? Lindsay Czarniak cheers on teams that don't pay her? Is the NY Times reporter on Dan Snyder's payroll, too? Another Have-Nots bowl this week?)

FedExField this Sunday would be a good place and time to test my theory that Dan Snyder has mucked up the Redskins every bit as much as he mucked up Six Flags.

Tickets to Skins games have been overpriced, based on demand, since FedExField opened. I've never been to a game there when tickets couldn't be had for far less than face value. I used to half-joke, based on experience, that if you simply held a $20 bill in the air in the stadium parking lot on game day you'd get mauled by folks trying to unload spare tickets.

But, the bottom is about to fall out of the Skins ticket market, and that could happen this weekend with KC in town: Craigslist had 908 separate ads hawking Skins/Chiefs tickets posted when I checked late last night.

So: Six Flags stock, which sold for $11.92 shortly after Snyder took over the theme park chain in 2005, now goes for 17.2 cents.

I wonder if Skins tickets will be worth any more than that this weekend.

Anybody willing to sell Redskins tickets for 17.2 cents, please e-mail cheapseats@washcp.com.

***

Interesting thing about that photo the Redskins marketing department is using to move excess tickets this week: Two tight ends are up front, Todd Yoder and Fred Davis. But no Chris Cooley. Sort of like the box score to last weekend's game in Carolina.

Seriously, after spending the summer yelling "Look at me! Look at me!" and hoping to become the face of the franchise through any number of off-field stunts, Cooley's disappeared. Cooley had no catches on Sunday, and only showed up in the highlights because he had mimicked Santana Moss's silly first-down routine after a play.

Cooley's used up most of his attention-getting tricks by now, too. The guy's going to have to burn two cows or show two penises to get noticed.

Or, you know, catch some passes.

***

The Skins' lousy season has produced some giggle-friendly new nicknames. Among them:

"Clinton Tortoise," attributed to WTEM hosts Andy Pollin and Steve Czaban; "Albert Buttersworth," all over sports radio; and, the clubhouse leader by several strokes, "Lord Farquaad," for Dan Snyder, which I first saw two weeks ago on Snyder's own message board, ExtremeSkins.com, and has since caught fire.

Damn, that's funny.

***

The New York Times has been writing a lot about the Redskins these days. The Times' coverage of the Dan Snyder administration is very different from the Washington Post coverage.

While the Post and Snyder go at it behind the scenes and in print, the Times' Skins stories, all from reporter Judy Battista, have sometimes been fawning.

Sometimes, they're just plain fictional. (Double-dare you to match the headline with anything in the story!) Battista referenced that latter story, which insinuated for no apparent reason and with no evidence to support the insinuation that ex-Skins GM Charley Casserly was impressed by Dan Snyder's coolness this season, in one of her pieces this week, saying "Snyder was still feeling patient" a little more than two weeks ago."

Says who?

What is it with Times reporters named Judy getting snowed when they cover D.C. matters?

***

Lindsay Czarniak led off her sports report on WRC-TV's 11 o'clock newscast last night with an incredibly enthusiastic segment on the Wizards three-point win over Detroit, pumping up Gilbert Arenas' stats and Flip Saunders revenge. I'd never seen such fervor for a preseason NBA game.

The excitement was catchy, and seemed totally genuine: Czarniak works for Dan Snyder, but not Abe Pollin, and so she wasn't wearing any Wizards' gear as she gushed.

If you follow sports in Washington, I guess preseason is the best time to get excited, before hopes and dreams get crushed.

***

Update on the Road to 11 Losses: We now know there will be no 0-11 season in local high school football.

Anacostia's chance at having the losingest year in D.C. high school football history got waylaid last Friday, as the Indians beat Eastern 36-0 in a matchup of really down programs.

Anacostia, which went into the game 0-6, has scheduled 11 games this year, one more than the standard 10-game season, and far as I can tell, no D.C. school has ever had an 0-11 record. But Anacostia just couldn't find a way to lose to Eastern, which didn't have a football team at all last year because of a lack of players, and so far is 0-4 in the 2009 season.

Eastern, which only has 8 games listed on its schedule, now has its biggest game of the year this Friday when it hosts Spingarn in the latest Have-Nots Bowl: Together, Eastern and Spingarn have been outscored 397-19 and have an 0-9 record.

Somebody's gotta win!

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Seems like a great hire. Weisman's been writing about the NFL for the Gannett paper since the early 1980s. I know him best from his frequent guest appearances over the years on the wonderful "The Sports Reporters" radio show on WTEM, a station which is now owned by Dan Snyder. And Weisman's great on that. Weisman was never as bombastic or entertaining as host Steve Czaban, but he came off as smart and plugged in.

And in his old typing job, Weisman didn't pull punches on the man who now signs his checks.

This from a USAToday chat in March 2006:

Ashburn, VA: Does Dan Snider have a clue? You think he would learn from his past mistakes. I wonder if looked at the number of catches El had last year or just the big pass in the Super Bowl. Even more funny is his pickup of T.O. lite from San Fran. 30 mil for a saftey that has taken one too many blows to the head? I give each player no more than two years before Dan cuts them.

Larry Weisman: Look at the bright side. He passes the costs on to season ticket holders and those who park cars at FedUpField. Ever heard that expression about people who know the price of everything and the value of nothing? Remember that Dan Snyder isn't so much playing with house money as with your money.

"FedUpField"? Nice!

Wonder if Weisman will call him "Mister Snyder" now.

***

Weisman will work under Larry Michael, the team's minister of propaganda "Senior Vice President/Executive Producer-Media."

Michael had an odd quote in the release welcoming Weisman: "Larry’s credibility and experience will give Redskins fans something new and compelling to look forward to this season and beyond.”

So having somebody with "credibility" in Redskins Park is something fans will regard as "new and compelling?" Wow. An era of honesty kicks off!

***

Weisman's first task will be to shmooze Rick Maese, the new Redskins beat reporter for the Washington Post. Maese replaces Jason La Canfora, one of a boatload of writer who Redskins officials have held vendettas against in the Snyder era. Mister Irrelevant introduced the new kid with a great Q&A.

Redskins Release after the jump, as well as Nats getting broomed, and local boy made good Maury Wills is HUGE in...North Dakota?

***

(Groundhog) Day Game for the Nats under the Miami sun: Manny Acta protects a young arm (Jordan Zimmermann), turns lead over bullpen, bullpen blows lead, Ryan Zimmerman makes an error, Nats lose game.

And, another sweep. The Nats should get an endorsement deal from Swiffer.

***

I let Joel Hanrahan's passing go too quietly. The guy who took the "C" out of closer lost the race out of town with Manny Acta. Hanrahan was shipped to Pittsburgh a couple days ago. This town's tolerance for bad baseball is big, but not big enough for the both of 'em. Hope Hanrahan turns into an All-Star, but, damn, he sure earned a bus ticket.

***

Went to see the DC Grays and Fairfax Nationals of the wood-bat Clark Griffith League at Maury Wills Field on Georgia Avenue NW last night. The rain stopped play in the fifth inning, but, the game was fab. This just in: The college kids today are good!

The rebuilt field, located across the street from where the Negro League Homestead Grays and Major League Washington Senators used to play at Griffith Stadium, looked great, was easy to get to, had plenty of parking and was an all-around great place to watch a game. I'm guessing, though, that whoever from D.C. Parks and Rec decided to put the fences just 295-feet down the lines wasn't a big baseball guy or gal. A concessions table should be added to the scene, too.

As disseminated yesterday: The D.C. Gray's field, next to Banneker Rec Center, is named after D.C. legend Maury Wills, who was an all-sports star at Cardozo in the 1950s and a base-stealing wizard with the Los Angeles Dodgers in the 1960s.

But it's not the first tribute to one of the greatest athletes ever produced in D.C.

No, there's already a Maury Wills Museum - in Fargo, N.D.! How'd that happen?

***

Skins Press Release:

LOUDOUN COUNTY, VA. —

The Washington Redskins announced today that Larry Weisman has left USA Today to become Editorial Director of the Redskins Media Department.  Weisman will start on July 20.

Weisman comes to the Redskins with an extensive background covering professional football.  In his 33 years as a professional sports writer, Weisman has authored more than 5,000 published stories, primarily with USA Today.  He has also covered college basketball, professional hockey, championship boxing and soccer, but has specialized in pro football since 1983.

Weisman began covering pro football in 1978, including 29 Super Bowls.  He joined USA Today, the nation’s largest general-interest daily newspaper, in 1983.  During his tenure with USA Today, he has covered and authored stories on all 32 NFL teams.  His writing and reporting have won awards from the Associated Press Sports Editors, the Pro Football Writers Association and the New York State Associated Press in the game story and spot news categories. Prior to joining USA Today, Weisman worked for what is now called the Westchester Journal News in White Plains, N.Y., where he covered the Stanley Cup champion New York Islanders. He has also been a contributing writer to The Sporting News NFL Preview, Street & Smith Football Annual and Patriots Football Weekly.

He has made various appearances on ESPN, CNN, NFL Films and CBS News programming.  He has been a regular contributor to ESPN Radio, Fox Sports Radio, Sirius Satellite Radio, and has frequently made guest appearances on local, national and syndicated radio stations throughout the United States and around the globe.

A graduate of the University of Maryland, Weisman is also the author of three books: “The Terry Bradshaw Franchise Football League,” “Companions in Courage in Courage; Triumphant Tales of Heroic Athletes,” co-written by Pat LaFontaine, Chas Griffin and Ernie Valutis, and “Let’s Go to the Videotape All the Plays and Replays from My Life in Sports,” with Warner Wolf.

Weisman also made it to Hollywood with a cameo appearance as a sports writer in Adam Sandler’s box office hit remake of the “The Longest Yard.”

“It’s exciting to have Larry Weisman join our media team,” said Senior Vice President/Executive Producer-Media Larry Michael.  “Larry is one of the most recognizable NFL writers in the country, and his work at USA Today was second to none. Larry’s credibility and experience will give Redskins fans something new and compelling to look forward to this season and beyond.”

Weisman will contribute to various Redskins television, radio and print properties.

***

Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com.

He was awesome.

Hosts Steve Czaban and Andy Pollin brought up the rumored but unspecified injuries to Alex Ovechkin and Mike Green, giving Leonsis an opportunity to blame his team's ouster from the Stanley Cup playoffs on mitigating factors.

He wouldn't take it.

"All teams are banged up," Leonsis said.

Leonsis thanked the fans and sounded sorry for letting them down. He said he's capped the number of season tickets at 13,000 for next year so folks who have been loyal for years but can't afford to buy for every game can still get in.

Not that the cap will hurt his wallet: He said he expects all games in the 2009-10 season will still sell out anyway.

Why do fans like him so?

Leonsis said it's because his organization is "transparent" and "honest" with the fans.

The Leonsis interview will be repeated on WTEM on "The John Thompson Show."

On a related note: WTEM is owned by Dan Snyder. If I'm not mistaken, Snyder has NEVER been interviewed by Pollin and Czaban, hosts of the best and top-rated show produced by the station, which runs in afternoon drive time.

Leonsis: Honest, transparent, beloved.

Snyder: Meh. Nah. Bah humbug.

***
The positive power of exposure was also in evidence when another Snyder employee, DeAngelo Hall, went on WJFK's "The Sports Junkies" during yesterday's morning drive-time.

Hall came to the Redskins last season with an awful reputation. He'd been given away by Atlanta and Oakland, and in the past his alleged no-goodnickness was brought up more than his 40 time or two Pro Bowl appearances as a cornerback.

But hearing him talk with the Junkies, who asked again and again about his purported dark side, Hall was impossibly likable. Even when he was saying things folks could have trouble with. Like when he talked up his old teammate, the notorious dog killer Michael Vick.

Or about how much money he makes, and accusing ex-teammates in Oakland of disliking him only because he "got paid."

He boasted about his own off-field awesomeness, too: "I'm the coolest cat you'll ever meet."

And, after just a few minutes of hearing him talk about himself, you could believe he really was the coolest cat.

All the hosts believed, proclaiming as one that they were now "DeAngelo Hall guys."

I wanna be a DHG, too!

***

Switching Mediums: I have a new favorite TV show: DC Armor game replays, microcast Thursdays at 8 pm on WJLA's surplus digital station, channel 7.3 over the air.

I'd seen snippets of the telecasts before while surfing. But last night I sat through the whole 3-hours-plus broadcast, totally gripped.

The production values were fabulously horrendous. The audio was a quarter-second behind the video, giving interviews the feel of a vintage dubbed Japanese movie. The replays were grainy and choppy and had a Zapruder film quality to them.

The scoreboards in the arena were actually projected tv's shown on white screens set up at each end, the sort of set-up you'd by at Best Buy for your super bowl party then return for a refund after the game.

Even the sponsors were C List: All of the commercials were for some Maryland restaurant/freak magnet called Medieval Times. Tag line: "More Chivalry and romance! Call 1-800-We-Joust!"

The level of play was lousy. One DC Armor kickoff hit the speakers hanging from the ceilings, another went into the crowd at a right angle.

The crowd was announced as 1,389, which seemed accurate only if you removed the "1."

But play-by-play man Mark Gray didn't let the profound tickytackiness poison his commentating.

Gray, the longtime host of WOL's sportstalk show "The Sports Groove," gave fans a game call that could make you think you were watching a World Cup final. After the final gun, Gray told viewers they'd witnessed an "historic night!" What he meant was the expansion Armor had won their first home game ever.

As if the telecast wasn't enough of a time-machine, at game's end the station cut to an episode of "Rockford Files" -- already in progress!

Old School! Have I died and gone to 1975?

I can't wait til next Thursday!

***
All the buzz and the money are riding with Rachel Alexandra, the first filly to be favored in the Preakness in a couple decades.

But John Scheinman, also known as the Last Turf Writer in Washington Post History, isn't buying into the hype. He never buys in.

Two of the biggest betting scores Scheinman made while on the Post's racing beat came when he bet against fan favorites and chalk: Barbaro in the 2006 Preakness and Smarty Jones in the 2004 Belmont (and on longshots Bernadini and Birdstone, respectively).

"Going against Barbaro in the Preakness was just not done," Scheinman says. "Everybody was thinking he was the second coming, but he didn't even make it to the clubhouse turn. I carried the ticket and felt like I had blood money in my pocket. When Smarty Jones was [going for the Triple Crown], I would have been happy to lose that bet on Birdstone. I was happier cashing that ticket."

He can't wait to bet against Rachel Alexandra.

"A lot of smart people are saying Rachel Alexandra's win in the Kentucky Oaks made them think of Secretariat in the Belmont Stakes," he says. "I was at the race, and I didn't see a machine. I saw a really good filly chasing down a lone speed horse running its eyeballs out, beating that horse into submission, then galloping away from three deeply inferior horses. That's not Secretariat in the Belmont. Now she's got to beat 6 or 7 or 8 horses the quality of which she's never faced. I don't see it."

But here's what Scheinman does see: Mine That Bird, Pioneer of the Nile, Musket Man, and Big Drama.

"I'm going to box 'em," he says. "All the women at the track for the Preakness will bet on the filly. But if she finishes where I think she's gonna, which is fourth or fifth, then I'm gonna blow up that triple."

You heard it here first, degenerates! And if Scheinman's picks don't come in, you get THE REST OF THE YEAR FREE!

***

My personal view, this Depression needs another Seabiscuit: So if either Rachel Alexandra or Mine That Bird takes both the Preakness and Belmont, everybody wins.

Everybody but Scheinman, anyway.

***
Story tips? Wanna Play the Feud? Tube amps for sale? Send to: cheapseats@washingtoncitypaper.com

Nearly all the ads, as far as I can tell, are for sales of pairs or groups of tickets to this Sunday's Skins/Eagles game.

Steve Czaban, the voice of the fan on Dan Snyder's sports station, WTEM, called on fans to kickstart a "Give Your Tickets to an Eagles Fan" movement for the game to protest the ineptitude of Redskins management.

The Skins have no realistic shot at the postseason after the loss to Cincinnati.

As if the meaninglessness of the game for the Redskins, Snyder's beer and parking costs, and advances in TV technology didn't provide enough incentive to follow Czaban's lead and stay home, weather.com predicts rain and a high of 40 degrees on game day.

The only reason to show up would be to see if or how many fans boo Clinton Portis, Santana Moss, Jason Campbell and Jim Zorn.

Come to think of it, that might be enough to get me out there.

Whether sincere or not, Czaban's bit was as gutsy as sports radio gets.

For the last several months, after all, Czaban has been working for Dan Snyder, who bought the only viable sports station in the market in the spring.

And after Snyder bought the station, management gave everybody at WTEM new e-mail addresses with the suffix "@redskins.com," just to remind 'em who they're working for.

Czaban and co-host Andy Pollin showed more fortitude by repeatedly reminding listeners that Vinny Cerrato, Snyder's sidekick and the team's executive vice president for football operations, wouldn't be showing up for his own WTEM show, which airs on Mondays and Fridays.

Cerrato has been missing his scheduled Monday air dates after losses since getting hammered by callers after the Redskins lost to the Giants.