Great article by Paul Farhi in today's Washington Post about sports teams and even leagues trying to control the message. Farhi gives examples of the control-freakishness from across the country, but locals will be most enthralled, if not surprised, by Farhi's lengthy passages on Dan Snyder.

Turns out Snyder's team, apparently in the interest of maintaining control of all uses of the word "Redskins," has gotten the Post to stop calling its popular sports blog "Redskins Insider." It will now be called "Football Insider."

What makes the Redskins' aggression here—if we can use the name without paying for the privilege—so interesting to longtime Snyderophiles is his predilection for trading on the goodwill of others without permission. The team miffed the Kennedys at the beginning of last season when it renamed a section of FedExField the "RFK Standing Stomping Club" and sold standing room only tickets there for $152.50 plus "convenience" charges, all without ever asking for permission from either the Kennedy family or the folks who run RFK Stadium.

The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office database also contains info showing how much Snyder-owned businesses adore owning words. In 2007, Snyder's Six Flags tried to trademark "You Are Here." And, that year, Six Flags also applied for ownership of "Daycation."

Both efforts were abandoned, but still.

"You Are Here," Dan?

You gotta be kidding me.

Better yet: You Gotta Be Kidding Me.™

The Wall Street Journal wrote yesterday that Snyder recently sold "Junk" bonds for Dick Clark Productions, a company he owns. From the Journal (subscription required):

In August, Dick Clark Productions, which produces television shows such as "Dick Clark's New Year's Rockin' Eve" sold $165 million in notes in a deal that originally was supposed to be $150 million. Of that, the company will pay $105 million to shareholders including Six Flags Inc. and private-equity firm RedZone Capital Management LLC, whose chief is Daniel Snyder, owner of the Washington Redskins football team. Moody's Investors Service gave the notes a B2 "junk" rating and noted the company's reliance on three music awards shows, including the American Music Awards, plus the New Year's Eve special and the reality show "So You Think You Can Dance."

A spokesman for Snyder's DCP told the Journal that B2 was a "solid rating."

As I recall from reading studious kids' report cards, "B" meant "above average" back in high school. But I've learned it stands for something entirely different on Wall Street. Moody's guidebook says bonds with a B rating are "considered speculative and are subject to high credit risk." And B2 bonds, as the Journal says, are junk.

This isn't the first questionable deal Snyder's made with the L.A. production company. In fact, Snyder's acquisition of DCP in 2007 seemed unethical from the start, since Snyder bought DCP for $175 million by mingling funds from his private investment kitty, Red Zone, and money from shareholders of Six Flags, a public company he controlled as chairman of the board. He spent all that Six Flags money even while the company was billions of dollars in debt, and, under Snyder's hand, on the fast track to bankruptcy. Snyder's protege, Mark Shapiro, had been installed by Snyder to be both CEO of Six Flags and president of DCP.

During the bankruptcy proceedings, the DCP purchase and subsequent transactions between the theme park chain and Red Zone that Snyder hammered out while negotiating with himself were cited in a lawsuit filed by a hedge fund that lost millions.

That suit, which spelled out Snyder's conflicts of interest in a way that to the lay observer (ok, me) sure made his actions seem criminal, collapsed when a Federal judge approved a reorganization plan that threw Snyder out of the company. Shapiro was likewise tossed to the curb as soon as the new board of directors came in. 

But, from the sound of "junk," the high-profile comeuppances humbled neither of them. Then again, after Six Flags' spectacular failure, who would invest a dime with Snyder, anyway?     

There's gotta be a photo of Snyder with a shoebox-sized mobile phone to his ear out there somewhere.

Sure, the league is flying higher than ever now — TV coverage of the NFL draft drew a bigger audience than the NBA playoffs this spring. But mark down July 28, 2010 as the day everything started rolling downhill.

That's the day the reports surfaced that the NFL has brought in Dan Snyder protege/partner-in-debacles Mark Shapiro.

Yesterday, the web site Sports By Brooks told us that Shapiro "is now consulting for the league on television matters – including NFL Network games and studio shows."

Good news for the NFL: The reliability of the Sports By Brooks' report is suspect. When giving Shapiro's bio, we're told, "Shapiro is currently running Six Flags after being lured away from Bristol by Redskins Owner Dan Snyder."

Well, now....As both my readers know well, Shapiro WAS running Six Flags — until he and Snyder ran it straight into the ground. With CEO Shapiro and Chairman of the Board Snyder calling the shots, Six Flags filed for Chapter 11 more than a year ago.

When he was hired by Snyder in 2005, Shapiro said his salary would be tied to the value of Six Flags stock. He and Snyder then took Six Flags stock price from $11.93 per share down to nothingness. So during bankruptcy proceedings, Snyder and Shapiro wrote up an unbelievable golden parachute that gave Shapiro millions upon millions of dollars — one $3 million payment was labeled a "success bonus," though Shapiro and Snyder's only success in four-plus years at the helm of Six Flags came in bankrupting the company –  while stockholders lost everything.

Snyder was bounced brutally from his chairmanship during the reorganization proceedings, while Shapiro got his comeuppance from the newly installed Six Flags board shortly after the company emerged from bankruptcy.

So while, sorry Sports by Brooks, Shapiro isn't running Six Flags, he is still Snyder's partner, and is now president of Dick Clark Productions. That's the company that Snyder bought for $175 million with money from his Red Zebra investment fund, then used the cash of Six Flags stockholders to defray the purchase price by 40 percent.

Like Snyder, Shapiro was conflicted out the wazoo while Six Flags and Dick Clark hammered out deals. Shapiro was Six Flags CEO and president of Dick Clark Productions, which is also a major vendor for Six Flags, at the same time.

That arrangement's shaky enough to register on the Richter Scale, ain't it?

Six Flags isn't the only place that Shapiro showed he's got the Midas Touch...in Opposite Land! On May 9, 2008, Shapiro was elected to the board of directors of the Tribune Company. On the following Dec. 9, that corporation also filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy.

Great move, NFL!

Dan Snyder has been out of charge at Six Flags for a few weeks now. But there's new, definitive proof that the "family-friendly atmosphere" he vowed to put in place during his reign never took hold.

One part of Snyder's family plan involved having more pop shows at the parks, and before being thrown out as Six Flags chairman of the board he oversaw the putting together of the 2010 concert season.

Well, that season is upon us, and things aren't going well. Security guards used pepper spray or some sort of mace on the kids at a show by the tween rockers All Time Low last weekend at Six Flags Over Texas. Here's what Alex Gaskarth, lead singer of All Time Low, tells the crowd in the clip as the band's gig goes to hell:

"I have one fucking thing to say: Any fucking Six Flags [security guard] that sprays mace in the face of a fucking kid, that is fucking bullshit!"

A report of the incident on altpress.com inspired comments from witnesses that, like Gaskarth's rant, were generally along the lines of: "It's fucking bullshit fucking fucking! Rock on!"

Like this one, from emilyannevelez14:

i WAS THERE. in the front to the right where the fight happened. it wasnt a shirt it was a hat that jack handed to my friend. someone put their hands around her neck and tried to choke her for it. fucking redic. everyone was fighting over it but seriously they had no fucking right to mace us. that was uncalled for. i got it in my eyes and all down my throat. six flags really fucked up. they were grabbing kids literally that looked to be 10 years old and pulling them off the stage. I jumped on the stage and dodged the fat ass security guards and hugged alex :) I LOVE YOU ALEX GASKARTH<3 that "fuck you" speech made me love you even more

This attack on the fans has all the earmarks of a Dan Snyder operation.

Who among us doesn't remember the Pepper Spray game at FedExField in September 2002, when security tried to break up rowdy fans with the stuff, and ended up gassing whole sections of the grandstand and even had some Eagles throwing up?

This from a Washington Post account:

In a bizarre scene captured by ABC network cameras, the spray sickened several Eagles players, sent the rest of the team fleeing from the sidelines and prompted NFL officials to halt the game. Play resumed eight minutes later after choking and vomiting Eagles were treated with oxygen and wet towels. The Redskins lost, 37-7...

Sam Strulson, 25, a Redskins season-ticket holder and software programmer from Arlington who was taking his girlfriend to her first pro sporting event, said he was repulsed by the conduct of fans."It was absolutely one of the most ridiculous evenings I've ever been a part of," he said. "It was pretty violent, and not a fan-friendly or game-friendly atmosphere."

So, in the end, Snyder DID do for Six Flags just as he'd done for the Redskins!

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Snyder's Six Flags soap opera.

The local outpost of the nation's largest theme park chain, Six Flags America in Largo, opens its season today.

It's the first opening since Dan Snyder got booted out as chairman of the board of the company that he steered straight toward bankruptcy after taking over in late 2005. I was out on paternity leave when Snyder got the official heave ho, and I think he got off easy.

Six Flags creditors knocked the crap outta Snyder.

Snyder to the end acted as if he was the man to run the company after it got back on its feet. In the original reorganization papers filed on July 8, 2009, by Six Flags with the federal court in Delaware that was overseeing the company's bankruptcy proceedings, Snyder planned on staying in charge. The reorganized board of directors, spelled out in the 8K entered with the SEC, must include "Daniel M. Snyder (who shall be designated Chairman of the Postconfirmation Board)."

But the big money people who took a bath during Snyder's reign at Six Flags would have none of that. Creditors crafted an agreement of their own that let pretty much everybody who had a hand in the debacle that Six Flags was stay on — even Mark Shapiro, Snyder's hand-picked CEO who from Day One smiled for the cameras and blew smoke at investors about what shape the company was in.

In a deal drawn up in early April and approved by the court at the end of the month, the creditors said Shapiro would be allowed to choose a director to put on the board after the reorganization, with one hilarious caveat: "[P]rovided, however, that such remaining director shall not be Daniel M. Snyder[.]"

One sign of the animus toward Snyder: The italics are part of the filing.

So, Snyder's gone. But, he'll have a Tom Joad like presence at Six Flags for a while now. Wherever folks are paying a $5 "convenience fee" to print out their Six Flags tickets at home, he'll be there. Wherever rollercoaster enthusiasts are paying to store all the items they can't bring along on the ride — a service that used to be free — he'll be there. Wherever kids are paying $12.99 for a Johnny Rockets single burger, fries and a Coke, he'll be there. Wherever parents are paying $112 (on top of the Six Flags admission price) for the right for their kid to jump to the head of the line of the leg-chopping Superman Tower of Power ride, he'll be there.

What a ride he had.

Somebody's been reading Cheap Seats' coverage of Dan Snyder's theme park chain, Six Flags...

I heard this morning from Lance Laifer, CEO of Resilient Capital Management. That's an investment group that sunk some sum in the small seven figures into Six Flags, and doesn't want to walk away with nothing. Laifer doesn't like what he's learned about Snyder's company since it filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protections last summer.

Yesterday, Resilient filed a motion with the bankruptcy court asking the judge to remove Snyder and the rest of the Six Flags management team and appoint a trustee to run the company while the case is settled.

Much of the filing is way over my head, with talk of PIERs and EBITDA and the like. But the meaty parts of Reslient's argument in urging that the court "replace Debtor's management" are right in my wheelhouse.

Resilient contends that the Snyder et al should be tossed out for padding their wallets and wasting Six Flags shareholders' money through transactions between Six Flags, a public company Snyder controls, and Red Zone, a private investment firm he controls. Two of Snyder's conflicted-out-the-wazoo deals — the sale of 40 percent of Dick Clark Productions from Red Zone to Six Flags, and a licensing pact with Johnny Rockets, owned by Red Zone, that pays Red Zone 5 percent of the sales of all overpriced burgers at Six Flags — were particularly heinous and damaging to Six Flags' fiscal fitness.

"These funds [used to buy Dick Clark Productions], in addition to the funds used to pay Johnny Rockets royalties and funds used to pay for Johnny Rockets restaurants inside Six Flags parks, could have been used to easily avert a bankruptcy," reads the Resilient filing.

Asked for a comment on Snyder's behavior, Laifer tells me:

"Six Flags is clearly and obviously being used and abused by Mr. Snyder and Red Zone to further the economics of Mr. Snyder, certain members of the [Six Flags] board of directors and management, Johnny Rockets, Dick Clark Productions and Red Zone entities at the expense of all Six Flags stakeholders.

"Members of the management team have exacerbated the situation by emulating Mr. Snyder's behavior in recklessly pursuing their own self interests. Certain advisors and agents to the company have participated in these shenanigans for their own benefit. The board of directors has not stopped this behavior and has repeatedly violated their fiduciary obligation. We are hopeful that the court will recognize what is going on and put a stop to this immediately, if not sooner."

Makes sense to me. The next hearing in Six Flags bankruptcy case is scheduled for next Friday in the U.S. Bankruptcy Court for the District of Delaware.

Forget that his company's in bankruptcy, Shapiro said, tell all your roller coaster freak friends that this is the best buy of all time.

Yesterday, Snyder's chain announced it had closed Kentucky Kingdom for good. Nicely done!

***

The Caps win. Streak's at 12.

Just a week ago, I was sure Washington Capitals fever had taken over not just the city, but the whole world. Now, I'm equally sure it hasn't.

Last Friday I went to meet a friend in Baltimore around happy hour. While waiting in the basement bar at the fabulous Matthew's Pizza on Eastern Avenue for a table, a guy came in and asked the bartender to put the Caps/Florida pregame on the house TV.

Without complaint, the bartender made the switch. That alone shocked the crap outta me: Baltimore has always been a place where everything about D.C. is despised, and only saying nice things about Bob Irsay was more certain to bring derision and probably a beating to a visitor than talking up any of our town's sports teams.

But things really got amazing after the Caps broadcast came on.

(AFTER THE JUMP: There are Caps fans in Baltimore? What about the Clippers? Who knew the Baltimore Blast were still alive? Remember Dwight Anderson? Tom Brookshier, RIP?)

The people in the bar began trading caps tidbits. "Is the winning streak at 8 games?" "I think so. Yeah." "What's the club record?" "They're close." "Did you see that guy get hit in the face by Ovechkins shot?" "That was brutal." "They got a good shot of winning it all this year." "A real good shot."

What the hell?

Matthews isn't some chain restaurant in the Inner Harbor, where D.C.'ers on safari would likely congregate. It's in the Highlandtown neighborhood, in the heart of Baltimore near Patterson Park. And everybody in the place is more up on the Caps than I am! Even the bartenders were chiming in? And nobody even mentioned the Clippers?

What the hell? I was in shock, and thinking Ted Leonsis is sitting pretty good if he's captured the Baltimore market.

But fast forward to last night, and I'm sitting in Lindy's Red Lion in Foggy Bottom around 8 p.m. All the TVs in the mall bar were turned to the Indiana/Purdue game from Bloomington.

I asked the bartender to put the Caps/Rangers game from New York, which was well underway, and he nicely made the switch on one TV. But nobody else in the bar was paying attention to the hockey.

I'm sure most of the Lindy's crowd came from GWU across the street, but, still.

At the least: Leonsis hasn't captured the city's college kids!

***

One clear indication of the disconnect between D.C. and Baltimore sports: I recently went to a show at the old Baltimore Civic Center, the building where Abe Pollin and his Baltimore Bullets first played, which is now called 1st Mariner Arena.

There were all sorts of banners for the Baltimore Blast hanging on the walls in the arena.

How many bartenders in D.C. could tell you how long the Blast's winning streak is? Or have an opinion on the Blast's chances for a title this season? Hell, who among us even knew that the Baltimore Blast were still in existence?

***

The Dayton Daily News recently ran a don't-miss story on ex-Can't Miss Kid Dwight Anderson's mostly sad existence since the Washington Bullets took him in the second round of the 1984 NBA draft. Turns out Anderson missed.

It's a sad, sad story. But, far as I can tell, the only moral of Anderson's tale is: Don't get taken by the Washington Bullets in the second round of 1984 NBA draft.

***

A week ago, Tom Brookshier died. CBS Sports will broadcast Sunday's Super Bowl from Miami.

Brookshier was half of the greatest broadcasting team CBS sports ever had. He and Pat Summerall, who worked the network's NFL games throughout the 1970s, were also the first sports broadcasters that made me and my buddies cared about growing up. Brookshier and Summerall came off as as genuinely tough guys, and only talked or got excited when necessary.

My buddy Louie did an amazing Summerall impression, all in monotone: "Riggins into the line...Nothing doing."

Damn, that killed me back in the day. Louie did his Summerall for us all  a couple weeks ago when some of the old gang watched the Vikings/Cowboys playoff game together. It killed me all over again.

RIP, Tom.

***

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Back to me: While other, positiver souls celebrated the Wizards first-game win in October as an indicator of fab things to come, I sipped til my glass was half-empty and typed this about the new season:

Oh, right. The Wizards win, 102-91, on the road, led by Gilbert Arenas, the man fans really, really want to love.

Things can't get better than this. And, as all Bullets fans will tell you, they won't.

Whoa! Who gave Nostradamus our wordpress password?

'Course, nobody ever went broke underestimating the Bullets/Wiz chances. And I also once wrote that Carrie Underwood had zero chance at a real career. I'd've bet money.

***

Speaking of bad bets: The Mavericks are owned by Mark Cuban, one of the highest profile and most vocal supporters of Dan Snyder's bid to take over the Six Flags theme park chain.

(AFTER THE JUMP: Mark Cuban said what about Six Flags? How'd that work out? Mike Miller cut his hair? Did he pull any muscles in the barber's chair? More on the Jumbotron at FedEx? Was Dan Snyder holding out for Abe Pollin money? The Redskins stop trumpeting the waiting list in press releases? What's the weather forecast for hell today? Kyle Shanahan finally confirms he'll keep up the like-father, like-son tradition at Redskins Park?)

This old BusinessWeek quote with Cuban cheerleading Snyder has given me loads of giggles over time:

Another investor, tech billionaire Mark Cuban, is cheering Six Flags almost as loudly as he does his Dallas Mavericks. "They've shown they know how to create great entertainment," Cuban writes about Snyder and [CEO Mark] Shapiro in an e-mail.

Six Flags stock was selling for, oh, $11.93 a share about the time Cuban was waving his pom poms. Today, the stock goes for a dime and Snyder is trying to hold on to his chairman of the board seat as Six Flags gets out of bankruptcy re-org.

Over the years, as Six Flags has descended to hell, I've tried occasionally to get a comment from Cuban about his cheerleading Snyder's failed effort. But he's never responded.

If he ever does get back to me, I'll ask Cuban where he is on Carrie Underwood.

***

Via Truth About It: Mike Miller, who has racked up more DNP's than three-pointers in his first season with the Wizards, has gotten rid of his soccer hair and is going with the more conservative Rambis Look. That's a much more fitting coif, given the funereal aura around the team these days.

***

The Redskins officially announced yesterday what the Great Dan Steinberg reported a night earlier: There are going to be big screens at FedExField.

Here's Dan Snyder's explanation for why they're putting in the new video system: “It’s all about the fans’ ability to interact both with and within the game. We want everyone to be able to get the full impact of the competition on the field.  These boards will enhance the experience of every fan in the stadium.”

Sounds great, Dan! Oh, wait! I mean: What did you say? "It's all about the fans' ability to interact both with and within the game"?  What in tarnation does that mean?

The Jumbotron announcement, as with all missives from Redskins Park, did have some very intriguing portions. Such as: "Because the stadium is privately held, all of the expenses associated with the renovation will be borne by the Redskins.  No public financing is involved."

That sure sounds like Snyder's whining about Abe Pollin, who got $75 million from the D.C. government to put in a new screen at the Verizon Center. Maybe that's why Snyder waited all these years to listen to the fans' big-screen pleas: He was waiting for P.G. County to pony up!

And, there's also this in the press release:  "The Redskins’ average general admission ticket prices are below those of nine other NFL teams, including most of the other major markets, according to the 2009 NFL survey of Team Marketing Report."

Kind of an odd boast when you consider the Redskins delivered the 29th best record in the NFL last year, and in the most recent Sports Illustrated poll FedExField was ranked as giving fans the 28th best "Fan Value Experience" among all NFL stadiums.

One more bizarre attribute: The press release makes no mention of the season tickets waiting list! An oversight on Karl Swanson's part? Or Glasnost 2K10?

***

The Son Also Coaches (Cont.): Another rumor almost as old as the New-Jumbotrons-for-FedExField rumblings was also confirmed yesterday, as Kyle Shanahan was officially welcomed as the Redskins offensive coordinator.

As I've noted before (ok, and before and before, too), there's no -ism like nepotism over at Redskins Park. Kyle joins a long line of bring-your-son-to-the-payroll extravaganzas since Dan Snyder took over the team. The Redskins have already been through Brian Schottenheimer working for papa Marty, Steve Spurrier Jr. cashing checks alongside Steve Sr., Joe Gibbs coming back to D.C. just so Coy Gibbs can have a football coaching career, and Al Saunders' offspring Bob Saunders helping to carry Daddy's 700-page playbook.

***

RIP, George Michael.

***

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In 2008, Dan Snyder bought Dick Clark Productions for $175 million for Red Zone, a private equity fund he controlled. Snyder then immediately sold 40 percent of Dick Clark Productions to Six Flags, a public company he also controlled.

That means to make that deal, Snyder was essentially negotiating with himself, in a situation where he could potentially use Six Flags stockholders money to enrich himself and his buddies in Red Zone.

Making matters worse, Six Flags was well on its way to bankruptcy when Snyder brokered this deal with himself. Now that Six Flags is actually in bankruptcy, lawyers for folks who are owed hundreds of millions of dollars are asking questions about the transaction, and there are allegations that Snyder tried to hide a transfer of Six Flags' portion of Dick Clark Productions in a division of the theme park corporation that would make it harder to get at in bankrupcty proceedings. This could get good!

***

The rest of the sporting world is obsessed with a DC sports story, but not the Mike Shanahan Story.

No, the big story for everybody else: Gilbert Arenas and his arsenal. David Letterman does a Top 10 on Agent 0 007. (Letterman came out of the Top 10 list playing Warren Zevon's "Lawyers, Guns and Money." Good golly, what a song!) And Al Sharpton wants the NBA to give Gilbert Arenas the business. Stephen A. Smith sorta writes about Gilbert Arenas, but it's mostly about,well, crap. Smith says again and again that whatever Arenas did is really going to hurt the "Black Community." (Capitalization Smith's.)

Problem is, Smith doesn't explain real well how whatever Arenas did is going to hurt the Black Community. Smith doesn't even explain what the Black Community is.

Given the upper case "Community," I assume Smith is talking about an upscale subdivision somewhere around here where Arenas and fellow gazillionaires live. If I'm right, well, then I guess I can see Smith's point: If the charges against Arenas are true, then the Black Community really will be hurt.

Nobody's gonna wanna live near a quirky gun toter.

(AFTER THE JUMP: What's preventing Mike Shanahan from signing? Is it the forced arbitration clause? DimWitsGate's antagonist survived the whole season? What, you forgot DimWitsGate? Michelle Rhee's Boswell goes after Jim Zorn? How's Jeff Ruland doing at UDC? That bad? Really?)

***

Dan Snyder still hasn't closed the Mike Shanahan deal. Hmmm. What's the hold-up? Could it be the Rooney Rule, where the NFL has ordered a post-Zorn replay of the Jerry Gray interview? Could it be Snyder's finally sick of putting every coach's son on the payroll and doesn't want to shell out for Kyle Shanahan's contract?

Or could it be that Snyder tried to sneak a forced arbitration clause into Shanny's contract? Turns out Snyder makes Redskins employees agree to never sue him before he'll give them a job. So when he screws them over — and I've read he screws them over pretty regular — they're outta luck. It's an amazing tale. What a guy.

Shouldn't SOMEBODY give him an award for being such a meanie?

Oh, wait! He just got one!

***

The clips used on Fox-5's nightly newscast last night to say goodbye to Jim Zorn showed the soon-to-be-deposed coach hugging a player in a #51 Redskins jersey on the field after the Chargers game.

Hey! That's Robert Henson! Remember him?

Henson was briefly the most hated man in town. After fans at FedExField booed the Skins during and after the win over St. Louis, the rookie scrub linebacker went on Twitter to go after the home crowd, calling the patrons "dim wits" and folks who "work 9 to 5 at mcdonalds."

Henson wasn't even active for that Rams game. After the outburst and ensuing blowback from the fans, I figured Henson would be given a bus ticket. He wasn't on the active roster for months after the brouhaha. But apparently Vinny Cerrato's roster was was so talent-hungry, Henson stuck around til the end. Turns out that Henson actually got playing time for the last several games.

The clearest sign of just how dysfunctional the Redskins' 2009 season was: We've already forgotten DimWitsGate™!

What a year.

***

Odd story from the Washington Post's  Jo-Ann Armao trying to make Jim Zorn into a villain and a symptom of big ills for getting paid what he was promised. After the way Dan Snyder and his former sidekick, Vinny Cerrato, tried to save money by shaming and bullying him into quitting, Zorn should get punitive damages on top of whatever salary he's owed. (Oh, I forgot: Zorn worked for Dan Snyder, who makes his employees sign away the right to ask for punitive damages!)

Armao apparently doesn't write about football much, but I've read she's close with Michelle Rhee. Now I can't wait for the column asking Rhee to give money back to the city after she leaves DC with the school system still in direr straits than the 2009 Skins. You know that day's coming!

***

After a high-profile hiring, Coach Jeff Ruland has quietly assembled a horrific basketball squad over at UDC. Ruland, known as McNasty when he played center for the Washington Bullets, is putting one of the McWorst teams in UDC history on the floor. The Firebirds, after last night's blowout loss to Alderson-Broaddus, are now 1-12, and can boast of getting whupped by such known hoops factories as Mansfield, Stonehill, NYIT, and Pitt-Johnstown.

For those who think UDC can't have a first class basketball program, remember: Not only were the Firebirds once NCAA Div. II champions, the school also produced a first-round NBA draft pick (Earl Jones) and a second-rounder (Michael Britt) back when a second-round pick meant something.

The basketball program has been down for years, hit by apathy and NCAA sanctions. Ruland knew what he was getting into.

After his hiring this summer, Ruland told the Washington Times: "I have a yeoman's task in front of me. School starts in about a week, and I don't have a team. Because of sanctions, I only have five scholarships. I've got to find a starting five in a week."

The UDC schedule shows some chances for Ws in the next couple weeks. Ruland, the former Bullets center, will put his boys up against something called the Apprentice School, followed up by a pair of games against Philadelphia Sciences. They can't be any good, can they?

***

Full disclosure: I freelance music reviews for the Washington Post.

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Six Flags' reorganization is nowhere near complete, and god only knows what's beneath the surface of this debacle. But from the sound of things, when all's said and done Snyder will still be chairman of Six Flags board of directors when that company comes out of bankruptcy.

How can this be? In Snyder's world, what do you have to do to lose your job?

One small aspect of the fiasco: Would somebody PLEASE explain to me how Snyder was allowed to pay a whopping $175 million for Dick Clark Productions using private equity money from Red Zone Capital, a fund he controls, then turn around and sell 40 percent of Dick Clark Productions to Six Flags, using public equity money, which he also controlled? And Snyder did this deal, remember, in 2007, while Six Flags was on the way to the bottom and he was already blaming the company's woes on its billions of dollars of debt.

Snyder made the Dick Clark Productions sale around the time he made a licensing deal between Johnny Rockets, another Red Zone-owned company and controlled by Snyder, and Six Flags. Again, would SOMEBODY please explain to me how that's allowed?

I mean, I make a lot of fun of Lindsay Czarniak and Dan Hellie working for Snyder's Redskins Broadcast Network and WRC News at the same time. And that really does bug me. But Czarniak and Hellie's conflict of interest ain't a hair off the ass of the conflict of interest Dan Snyder had in dealing with himself during Red Zone's sale of a huge chunk of Dick Clark Productions to Six Flags. Let alone the Johnny Rockets deals.

How hard a bargain do you think private-money Dan Snyder drove with public-money Dan Snyder in making these deals?

(AFTER THE JUMP: More on Dan Snyder, Red Zone and Dick Clark? DeMatha sends more jocks to college? Remember Harvey Grant? The DC Armor are gonna just disappear? Somebody's still kvetching about the El Al/FedExField comparison?)

And what bang have Six Flags investors gotten out of the tens of millions of stockholders' bucks Snyder threw at himself during the 40 percent sale of Dick Clark Productions? Who's looking out for who?

Who knows what the Dick Clark Productions ownership situation will be when this comes out of bankruptcy.

But, again, it looks like Snyder will still be in charge of both Red Zone and Six Flags at that time. Maybe he'll have a chance to buy Dick Clark Productions from himself during the bankruptcy, then sell Dick Clark Productions to himself all over again.

Seriously, in Snyder's world, what do you have to do to lose your job?

***

From our Hyattsville bureau: DeMatha's library will be packed tomorrow to unveil the latest batch of athletes that the sporting powerhouse will send up to the next level.

Among the more notables in the jock octet featured in the scholarship signing ceremony:

Jerian Grant, son of Washington Bullets 1988 first-round pick Harvey Grant, will announce he will attend Notre Dame. That'll make him the first DeMatha basketball player to commit to South Bend since Hall of Famer Adrian Dantley back in 1973.

And, Casey Thrush will be the first DeMatha student to accept an NCAA hockey scholarship while still in high school, representing the Stags' desire to dominate yet another prep sport.

This signing ceremony, which is surely bigger than any signing ceremony any other local high school will have this year, does not include DeMatha football players. DeMatha already sends more folks to the NFL than any school in the country. They're doing something right in Hyattsville.

***

The return of the DC Armor for a second season is looking bleaker and bleaker. This update from oursportcentral.com's Weekly Pro Sports League and Franchise Report:

American Indoor Football Association: The future of the D.C. Armor in the AIFA is in doubt. The team played before very small crowds in its inaugural 2009 AIFA season and it is unknown whether the franchise will attempt to play a 2010 season in another venue or simply be discontinued.

Somebody's gonna miss you, DC Armor.

***

JTA, which describes itself as the "Global News Service of the Jewish People," and a media organization I have long suspected is controlled by Jews, had some fun with Cheap Seats Daily's comparison of the security at FedExField during the Prague Spring for Redskins fans to the security of El Al Airways.

I had gotten a call from a friend before the Eagles game a few Mondays ago, who told me about getting the once over and then some from a guard at the FedEx gate. So I wrote:

The only first-person account I got was from a friend who called me from FedExField just after being searched at the gate like he was boarding an El Al flight.

He asked the frisker, “Are you looking for anti-Snyder paraphernalia?”

“As a matter of fact, I am,” the guard told him.

That caught the attention of El Al account manager Ron Glickman, who wrote us to say that "the checks that one would go through for an El Al flight are a lot less hands on" than what I wrote about FedEx. El Al, Glickman said, hasn't done done any [body checks] in the past year in the entire United States.”

And Glickman's quotes, in turn, inspired JTA blogger Eric Fingerhut to wonder what entering FedEx would be like like if in fact El Al did take over security:

You'd get to the gate and they'd ask: "So, did you write your sign yourself? Did anyone help you to write your sign? When did you write your sign? Has it been with you since you wrote it?...

That guy's funny!

***

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Hate to stomp on the weather beat that others at City Desk are already covering with gusto. But I'll stick to forecasts, and stay away from the retrocasting favored by the boss.

So, Sunday in Landover at kickoff: 47 degrees, rainy, winds 13 miles an hour from the north and 100 percent cloud cover. That used to be called "Redskins Weather!" around here. Now, it's called "You Can Get a Redskins Ticket for 17 Cents Weather!"

On a related note...

Redskins Ticket Watch: More than a thousand ads for Skins/Chiefs tickets on Craigslist this morning. Asking prices in just the first few listings I found went from "Way below face value!" to "Half Price!" to "75 percent off!" to "Make an offer!"

Face value's a pipe dream. Come to think of it, with 47 degrees and wet on the horizon, 17 cents might look like a windfall by kickoff. In any case, folks who intend to show up at FedExField might need to bring something to cover their heads from all the precipitation.

Like, bags or plates, maybe?

(AFTER THE JUMP: Vinny Cerrato is told it's the talent, stupid? Snyderatto = Rosie Ruiz? Snyder changed the copy in the cheerleader car wash contest AGAIN? Will the Great Dan Steinberg fall for the not-actual-cheerleaders picture bait AGAIN? Ronnie Mervis and Dan Snyder use the same advertising firm?)

***

Great Moments in Uncomfortable Radio: Randy Covitz, a beat writer for the Kansas City Star covering the Kansas City Chiefs, came on this morning's "Inside the Red Zone," the mystifying show hosted by Redskins personnel wizard/Six Flags investor Vinny Cerrato.

Cerrato was going over the problems that young head coach Todd Haley was having with his 0-5 Chiefs when Covitz blurted out: "We know it's not the coaching. It's the talent!"

We know that, Vinny? Right? A guy can't win without talent, for crissakes! We know that, Vinny? Right? So how come Jim Zorn's on the hottest seat?

On a related note: Washingtonpost.com's Dave Goldberg rates the Skins front office as the worst in the NFL.

***

Vinny Cerrato no longer takes phone calls from listeners on his show, as he did when then-new WTEM owner Dan Snyder gave the longtime sidekick the program early last season. 'Course, the Skins briefly had a winning record at that time.

Times have changed, alas. So Vinny has more airtime to fill all by himself.* He used much of it to today to counsel Redskins fans repeatedly that a football season "isn't a sprint, it's a marathon."

And Snyderatto's got just the role model for marathoning: Rosie Ruiz.

*I just discovered that The Great Steinographer transcribed almost every portion of Cerrato's show other than the KC interview and the marathon references. I mean, Cerrato's show goes off the air at 10:00 a.m. This latest load of Steinography was posted at 9:24 a.m. How big is Steinberg's staff? How many fingers does he have? How great is he?

***

Dan Snyder's Cheerleader Fetish Update: More toning down going on at the Washington Redskins cheerleader car wash.

For the unfamiliar: Dan Snyder's sportstalker WTEM recently launched a Redskins Cheerleader Car Wash contest, where cheerleader's will pick up a sponge and hand over their pride to somebody in the 25-54 year old male demographic that the station covets.

Cheap Seats Daily has written about the car wash as critically and as often as the Washington Post editorial board does Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. And Snyder has heard our roar. Or, well, he's tweaked the language in the ad campaign to make it less pervy.

First he removed the dudes and their pre-masturbation conversation that were featured in the original radio commercial for the contest. Now, he's also de-perved the copy in the online advertisements.

Original: “How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? — AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders soap up and scrub down your car???”

Tweaked: "How would you like to see the Redskins take on the Cowboys? – AND have the Washington Redskins Cheerleaders give your car a great SpongeTech wash???"

(Spongetech, a sudsy sponge manufacturer, is a sponsor of the contest, and a company that was recently kicked off the trading board by the Securities and Exchange Commission for allegedly shady accounting and disclosure practices. But that's not the yucky part.)

So cheerleaders no longer are on "soap up" and "scrub down" duties. They just have to "give your car" a wash. Different, yes, but still humiliating.

But how come Snyder won't let go of the picture of the cheerleaders all sudsy and rubbing down a car — though "not actual cheerleaders" were used for the photo shoot, according to a small-print caveat — that has been featured in the campaign?

Until he does, Cheap Seats Daily has no choice but to run that photo again! (Take that, TGDS!)

***

Something's fishy about the ongoing guerilla marketing campaign from Mervis Diamond Importers.

Ronnie Mervis has put himself out to unhappy football fans as the guy who can replace Dan Snyder as owner of the Washington Redskins.

There's so much rancor toward Snyder in this area, just by offering himself up, Mervis has brought an incredible amount of attention to himself and his jewelry firm. But it's sorta odd that Both Mervis and the Washington Redskins are listed as clients of the same advertising firm: ROI Advertising of Northern Virginia. Mervis is also a big advertiser on Snyder's sports station, WTEM.

Snyder's probably in on it.

***

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We couldn't be happier!

The bankrupt company's creditors are asking the courts to hold up proceedings until they can investigate the relationship between Six Flags and Red Zone LLC, an investment group Snyder formed with a lot of Redskins Park, including team bigwigs Vincent "Vinny" Cerrato and Karl Swanson. Snyder used the group's Six Flags stock holdings take over the amusement park chain via a stockholder coup in 2005. Snyder anointed Mark Shapiro, also a Red Zone member, as made CEO of Six Flags.

The Wall Street Journal is now reporting that in recent filings with the court, attorneys for the firms holding notes for Six Flags, which is now more than $2 billion-plus in debt, singled out as questionable several actions made under Snyder's tenure that involve Red Zone.

Among the dubiousest: Red Zone's sale of a chunk of Dick Clark Productions to Six Flags, a deal that took place shortly after Snyder acquired the production company.

Back to us: SIX Flagging pegged that sale as fishy long ago. In a July 2008 post in this space, we called it "a bizarre transaction that essentially amounted to one of Snyder’s private equity outfits (Red Zone) making a $40 million sale to one of Snyder’s public equity outfits (Six Flags)."

Think the Private Snyder, playing with his own money, would strike a fair bargain with the Public Snyder, who was spending stockholders' loot?

Sure he would....IN OPPOSITE LAND!

Some folks were kinder to the deal: Rick Munarriz, a pundit for Motley Fool who urged invest in Six Flags under Snyder from the time he took over as Chairman of the Board until most nails were in the coffin, called the Dick Clark Productions sale "brilliant.

The investors also called for an investigation of a school of fishy moves Snyder and the board made in April, just before Six Flags filed for bankruptcy protections, including: giving raises, doling out $4.5 million in bonuses, and pledging big chunks of equity in the company when it comes out of reorganization.

All the perks to Snyder's insiders came as common stockholders investments were heading toward worthlessness.

If Six Flags' portion of Dick Clark Productions was scheduled to revert to Private Snyder and his investment buddies after the re-organization, well, we might have us some trouble!

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Dan Snyder's Six Flags soap opera.

On a related note: Dan Snyder's Six Flags announces that despite its bankruptcy, plans to build a park in Dubai will "proceed as planned."

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Dan Snyder's Six Flags soap opera.

Sports leagues, like romantic relationships, can't survive taking a break. Last year AFL owners thought they were different, announcing that while they'd be spending the 2009 season apart, they weren't breaking up.

Again: Just need some space. Just taking some time off from each other before getting back together.

Well, this week, several AFL owners leaked to the press the date that they'll be getting back together: The 12th....OF NEVER!

The AFL is dead.

The disbanding means, alas, Dan Snyder won't ever bring us the AFL team he promised back in 1999.

(AFTER THE JUMP: MMA is the next arena football? How many Redskins blogs are out there? Dan Steinberg marvels at whose muscles? The Washington Times toasts Bruce Smith? Michael Vick is partying where? The Nats are still playing?)

Snyder bought the DC franchise rights for the AFL shortly after taking over the Redskins. He said back then that he was going to name the indoor team the Warriors, and registered trademarks for that name and for an arrow-and-feather logo and helmet design.

Then Snyder never made any move toward putting that team together.

At the time, I figured Snyder only registered the marks because it looked like he could lose federal trademark protections on "Redskins" for being racist, and he wanted a fall-back name ready.

All these years later, I still agree with myself. Guess we'll never know what his real intentions were.

No official announcement of the league's disbanding has yet appeared on the AFL's web site.

However, the league's "Mission Statement" is still prominently placed:

“To serve our community with pride and passion as a quality example of individual and team excellence on the field, in the office, at the arena and within the community by consistently exceeding our customers’ expectations by demonstrating the highest character, appreciation and respect for our game, customers, teammates and partners as a cost-effective and visionary organization providing a total entertainment experience.”

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.....Among the few things I can think of more boring than reading the AFL Mission Statement is watching an arena football game.

Columnist Ray Ratto takes the indoor football and runs with it. Ratto links indoor football with Twitter, and says UFC is the next AFL.

I agree.

***

In case you missed it: Dan Snyder's SIX Flags lost another $121 million-plus change this spring. Who's to blame? God, government, Mother Nature, Swine Flu, Jesus' death, and minimum wage employees, say Dan Snyder and Six Flags co-captain Mark Shapiro.

And so what if Six Flags is in the toilet? Dan Snyder just wants to win, dammit!

***

The Great Dan Steinberg marvels at the big muscles the Redskins have. Thank goodness the NFL has been so out-front in the drug testing realm, so that I and other media types, not to mention all football fans, don't have to waste a single second wondering whether ANY of these behemoths achieved this unnatural looking state through any means other than just eating real good and throwing lots of steel!

Way to keep it clean, NFL! Just say no, kids!

***

The Michael Vick Watch goes on off the football field, too. An event called the "Michael Vick Community Celebration" scheduled for this weekend in his hometown of Newport News, Va., was cancelled because, organizers said, Vick had to be in Atlanta for a Humane Society event.

But then no animal rights types in Atlanta would confirm that Vick is supposed to be there, either.

The big questions: What sort of creeps would organize a Vick "celebration" now? Who can even be near the guy and look at him without thinking, "Yucky!"?

***

Speaking of troubled Tidewater athletes: Real odd story in the Washington Times with longtime football writer Dave Elfin working mightily to try to rehab Bruce Smith's image just after the Hokie/Bill/Redskin's conviction on a third DUI arrest in 12 years.

The city of Virginia Beach cancelled a party that was going to celebrate Smith's induction to the Hall of Fame because of his drinking and driving problems.

Elfin argues that for a guy with three DUI arrests he's great with kids, and a great businessman, too, for a guy with three DUI arrests.

"If I hadn't done what I did on the football field," Smith  says of his buying things for an old football coach in his hometown, "I wouldn't have been afforded the opportunity to give back in such a fashion."

Well, there's that, Bruce, plus: you'd be in jail now.

***

The blog DC Pro Sports Report has a compendium of all the Redskins sites out there. Good god, you won't believe how many there are.

***

Nats have a six-run eighth and beat Florida, 6-4. Greatest comeback win of the season! Three-game winning streak!

Uh, oh! This just in: Until further notice, it's still football season! Just as things were getting exciting! Darn!

***

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Team Snydiro – Chairman Dan Snyder and CEO Mark Shapiro — have now been telling the world for almost four years that Six Flags has gotten things together.

Today, more proof that Six Flags hasn't gotten things together.

Shapiro emerged from hiding this morning to release another set of dismal financial figures for the bankrupt Six Flags, these from the second quarter 2009.

This report, like every report the company has issued since Snyder took over the company in late 2005 amid big boasts of how he was going to right the ship, contained awful numbers.

Six Flags, already more than $2 billion in debt, lost another $121.6 million.

Also as with previous releases, Snydiro blamed everything and everybody but themselves and their management for the company's atrocious fiscal state.

God and governments were particularly culpable, according to Snydiro.

"Our decline in performance is a reflection of all that surrounds Six Flags — a severe recession, a balance sheet restructuring process, the swine flu pandemic, adverse foreign currency impact at our international parks and miserable weather, particularly at our East Coast parks," Shapiro said in a statement.

That's it?

Nah!

Shapiro also fingered the "timing of Easter" and the "minimum wage increase" as factors in the rock-bottom bottom line he and Snyder showed the More Flags, More Fun! investors.

Wanna blame Easter for your woes? Go ahead. Whatever. But that minimum wage claim is outstanding, even from Snydiro. The figures released by Six Flags today, Snydiro said, covered the period that began April 1 and "ended June 30, 2009."

Teensy quibble, Snydiro: The Federal minimum wage went from $6.55 to $7.25 a week on JULY 24, 2009!

Nice try, Snydiro!

Geez, this same ol' whine from Six Flags management has got me sleepy. Good thing that during the second quarter, amid the bankrupty filings and dealing with the lack of a raise in the minimum wage and all things just sinking more to hell, Snydiro started selling an Official Mattress of Six Flags!

Keep the dial right here for all the breaking news in Dan Snyder's Six Flags soap opera!