Posts Tagged ‘semen’

Semen Squirter Sentenced to Probation

The Montgomery County “Semen Squirter,” who earned his nickname by squirting semen from a squirt bottle on women at a Giant and a Michael's craft store in Gaithersburg, has now been sentenced. But he’s not going to jail.
Michael Wayne Edwards, Jr. , who was originally arrested on charges of a July 15 squirting incident, and [...]

Shocking: Suspected Semen Squirter Has College Degree, Girlfriend

When a man is accused of walking up behind women at the grocery store (and craft store) and squirting them with semen, apparently the every-day reader of said news assumes the suspect is a loser forever-single uneducated creepo. So wrong!
Please wait as the Washington Post's report blows your mind. Toss all your semen-spraying assumptions aside [...]

Alleged Serial Semen Sprayer Connected to Three More Grocery Store Squirts

It's the gift that keeps on giving: Gaithersburg is under attack and women are being sprayed with semen. We thought the incidents at Giant and then Michaels were bad enough, but now even more victims are coming forward. It's semen-squirting mania in Maryland!
In addition to the incident on July 15 at the Giant grocery store, [...]

The Friday Limerick Review

Though cringe moments, I have enjoyed
Real Housewives just left me annoyed
They're filled with self-loathing
Have got way too much clothing
Their heads? Just a huge gaping void
Vince Gray's full of vigor and vim
(Or that's what he says with his trim)
The man with new glasses
Says Fenty half-asses
When jobs in this city are slim
They ranged from type II diabetic
To [...]

The Needle: Spraying Semen Edition

Semen Sprayer Struck Second Spot: Gaithersburg police now say Michael Wayne Edwards squirted semen onto a woman at a Michael's craft shop, not far from the Giant where he first debuted the strangest crime the region has seen in a while. This business of spiriting semen around in a hand-spritzer and spraying it—and then photographing [...]

Gaithersburg’s Semen Sprayer Suspect Also Squirted Woman at Michaels

The now infamous Gaithersburg grocery store Semen Sprayer has been pegged in another attack. This time he allegedly squirted semen on a lady at Michaels craft store in Gaithersburg. Not even the innocent knitters are safe from semen attacks! And there could be more victims out there, police say. We can't wait to hear what [...]

...