Michael Vick was "conditionally reinstated" by NFL commissioner Roger Goodell yesterday. So the Vick-to-Redskins barkers got louder.

I know from dumbass arguments, and here's one of the dumbassiest on why Vick could fit in here as training camp opens this week:  Signing the free agent, says the Sporting News, "would give Vick an opportunity to play close to his home state of Virginia." Good point! The Skins play closest to where Vick did his best animal slaughtering, too!

Dan Snyder wouldn't. Would he?

I mean, sure, he tried hiring Pepper Rodgers, traded for Brandon Lloyd, and founded a chain of boutique kiddie barber shops for a theme park chain just before it went bankrupt.

But, he wouldn't.

Would he?

Gosh, I hope so!

(After the Jump: Snyder makes a good deal? Billick makes case for not signing Vick without mentioning Vick? Nats have more grand slams than your local Denny's? Divas finish on top after all? No Tasering for Scott Van Pelt giveaway?)

Read More "Cheap Seats Daily: Who’ll Let the Dog In?" »

Earlier today the Bowie Baysox announced Scott Van Pelt Bobblehead Night.

However, apparently not anticipating the rush of bobblehead freaks that tarnished Lindsay Czarniak Bobblehead Night last year, club management will not take away fans' civil liberties on Van Pelt's big night, as they had earlier this season for Matt Wieters Collectible Figurine Night.

This disappoints us. So, in the interest of doing anything possible to get Bowie management to restore the wholly Un-American provisions (among them: "Fans will not be able to exit the stadium" while the doll giveaway took place) foisted on bobblehead freaks during MattWietersCollectibleFigurineNightGate™, City Desk has obtained an EXCLUSIVE PHOTO of THE VAN PELT BOBBLEHEAD! And, we will now publish the EXCLUSIVE PHOTO of THE VAN PELT BOBBLEHEAD!

Photo after the jump. (And answer me this: Would the Lindsay Czarniak bobblehead go all ground-and-pound on the Van Pelt bobblehead or what?)

Read More "Breaking News: Scott Van Pelt Bobblehead Less Macho Than Lindsay Czarniak’s!" »

The never-static Bowie Baysox have just announced their latest promo: Scott Van Pelt Bobblehead Night on July 26. Two things about the announcement stand out:

1)Scott Van Pelt?

B)The announcement lacks the stern warnings from management that, as you all certainly recall, crippled Matt Wieters Collectible Figurine Night a few weeks ago.

To refresh the few of you who were under a rock at the height of what bobblehead historians will no doubt someday refer to as  MattWietersCollectibleFigurineNightGate:

Heading into the Wieters promotion, Baysox management had feared that doll hoarders would flood the stadium and ruin everything as they had on Lindsay Czarniak and Pat Sajak bobblehead nights. So they put in a special rule to ban the greedy: “There will be a ‘No Exit and Re-Entry’ policy in effect from 6:00 - 7:00 pm or until all giveaways have been distributed. Fans will not be able to exit the stadium during this time period.”

But, either because of the paternalism or because nobody gives a rip about Wieters, when the giveaway night came, the doll freaks stayed home. The team didn't even give away its alotted 1,000 bobbleheads.

So, for the big night for Van Pelt, a local product now on ESPN, the Baysox are simply telling folks "one per person" and hoping that's enough. Is Van Pelt's Q rating that far below Wieters'?

I, and I'm sure Van Pelt is with me here, hope that the greedy hoarders return to Bowie in Czarniak-like numbers and attack the doll giveaway stations like they're giving away rice to Third Worlders.

If only for bobblehead freaks, I like heavy-handedness!

Release after the jump.

Read More "Breaking News: Bowie Baysox Lift Fascist Restrictions for Scott Van Pelt Bobblehead Night!" »