For the Birds, III: Last week in Brookland, it was hummingbirds. This week, the neighborhood email list is chattering about robins—and, more specifically, how to kindly relocate them, without displacing them entirely. (Perhaps a metaphor for D.C.'s demographic growing pains can be found amongst its fauna.) Writes one member, "So, we had two robin families nest in our yard last year. They were a joy to watch. This year, they have decided to nest directly outside our french doors going onto the deck on top of flood lights. It's just a lousy place for them and I fear that they will get quite edgy once the eggs are there with all the in and out from the door. I've already pulled the hay down once, but it's back again. Any nice way to make that spot not so attractive to them? Would hate for them to go away completely, but it's just the worst spot for them and us." Insofar, neighbors only have words of support: "We had a similar siuation with birds nesting in our porch at the tops of brick columns. 'Cute' was our initial reaction, too, until the poop started dripping down the columns... : ( It was really hard to clean off, too."

All Clear for Capitalism: JDLand reports that the Historic Preservation Review Board has recommended that the Market Deli in Near Southeast not be designated historic by the board, or by the National Register of Historic Places. The nomination of the building, aided by ANC 6D07 commissioner David Garber, was not favorably received by the neighborhood, and commenters have cheered the HPRB's decision. One snarks, "So....anyone have any guesses or rumors as to which 'landmark' will be next in line to try and be saved? Will it be the former theater (taxi repair shop on Half St) or the transfer station/stacks?" More congratulatory is another, who says, "Well this is a pleasant surprise. I thought there was a good chance that HPRB was going to support the designation based on some past decisions (ie the old, dilapidated wood shack in perpetual existence at 12th & E SE – sorry I mean 'shotgun' house). Thank goodness the Capitol Hill Restoration Society has no interest in our neighborhood." And, finally: "I fully support the destruction of the Market Deli to advance the bottom line of real estate and surrounding property value."

Beware the Umbrellas: A thread on the Palisades email list is rife with warnings of a potential door-to-door scam. Writes one member, "I had 2 young women soliciting saying they were from UVA doing a communications gig and turns out it is magazines they are selling. Very pushy. They don't want you to buy magazines for them but for wounded soldiers at Walter Reed. Very suspect." Another describes potential tactics of the alleged scammers, adding, "Same here – the two guys who came to my door claimed they'd send the magazines to Veterans' hospitals and gave me a grimy list of hospitals. Set off my suspicions too. They also asked for an umbrella – the police officer who attended later said he'd seen around five people gathered together nearby, whom he thought responsible for the door knocking, all already had umbrellas – he thought the request for an umbrella was simply to get the front door open further to check out the place."

Cleveland Park Problems: Writes one member of the Cleveland Park email list, "Our water has had a smell like burning plastic since yesterday. It is removed by our Brita filter, but still worrisome. Is anyone else experiencing this?" Another adds, "Yes, we smell it too. Our showers stink." No answer to this mystery has been established.

First, this just came in from one of the Metropolitan Police Department’s Yahoo groups: Beware of the telephone shysters posing as sales reps for the FBI. No, silly! Not the real Federal Bureau of Investigation. This one's an alleged alarm company peddling “free” security systems. The pitch starts off saying "you live in a high crime statistics area" and offers a free home alarm system in exchange for letting the company put an FBI sign on your lawn. It’s the latest twist in alarm system scams.

AFTER THE JUMP: More on D.C. confidence schemes and Obama's plans to take down abusive consumer lenders.

For weeks, reports of shady looking traveling salesmen have been burning up neighborhood listservs.  More than a few residents reported unnerving visits from alleged alarm company reps going door to door. These guys demand to be let inside homes to see if the systems needed upgrading. Needless to say not too many street-smart District residents have fallen for this one (um, or perhaps we've only heard from the folks who told the grifters to clear off.)

Well, anyway, those ruses are in no way unique. It turns out the country is awash confidence schemes. The Federal Trade Commission says thousands of people have been swindled out of millions of dollars since the economic downturn began. 

Today, the agency announced a crackdown on scammers who have hoodwinked consumers with get-rich-quick plans, imaginary government grants, and fraudulent debt-reduction opportunities, among other things.

The enforcement crackdown involves dozens of cases brought by the FTC, the Department of Justice and law enforcers here in the District and at least 13 states. At today’s press conference, officials even trotted out “a Washington, D.C. job seeker who was conned by a company that made false promises of maintenance and janitorial work.”

I missed the webcast, so I have no more details on our very own District victim. But it sounds like he or she may have been duped by Wagner Ramos Borges, one of several alleged criminal masterminds picked up in the nationwide sweep, officially dubbed: “Operation Short Change.”

Ramos Borges allegedly advertised janitorial jobs in area newspapers and online sites. But once applicants responded, he would trick them into paying $98 apiece for bogus “certified registration number” cards. Those cards were supposed to land them jobs with one of the front companies he operated. But the jobs didn’t exist, officials say.

…

As for the perfectly legal scams run by banks, the Obama Administration is taking them on too. The Department of the Treasury forwarded a proposal to Congress yesterday that would establish a new agency to oversee home mortgages and other consumer lending. Click here for the press release discussing the proposed Consumer Financial Protection Agency. The administration says the new outfit would shield consumers from lending abuses like those that led to the financial sector’s current travails.

According to today’s Washington Post, the banking industry is in revolt over the plan, saying it would allow the government to meddle too much into its business; but lawmakers may have a hard time voting against it without looking like corporate sellouts.

Don’t you just love it when you get your own anecdote to back up a news story?

Today, an unusual offer arrived in my inbox: a sales pitch for swine flu vaccine. All I’d have to do is send in my contact info. and a major credit card and the cure would arrive in the mail. Depending on how bad the pandemic gets, it could be a decent deal. Sure, whoever sent me the email could steal my credit card number or completely make off with my identity before proffering the precious antidote. But, at least, I’d be protected against the dreaded scourge, know officially as the global H1N1 flu pandemic.

 OK, OK, so you’re on to me; I have no intention of providing my personal information to swine flu scammers. But, there must be some takers. The Food and Drug Administration has launched a crackdown on Internet purveyors of bogus flu cures.

AFTER THE JUMP: More on Internet scams and a new twist on pork-barrel politics.

Among the “unapproved, uncleared, or unauthorized” merchandise FDA officials have found in THEIR inboxes are shampoos, dietary supplements and anti-virus sprays. There is even an “electronic instrument” that supposedly uses “deeply penetrating mega-frequency life-force energy waves” to strengthen the immune system, protect against the flu, and God knows what else.

Speaking of swine scams, the pork industry is fighting congressional efforts to strengthen regulation of the country's food system. If enacted, the new rules would cover, among other things, the industrial-sized pig farms similar to the Concentrated Animal Feeding Operations, CAFOs, in Mexico, where swine flu allegedly got its start.

In a case of curious timing, one day after the World Health Organization declared a global pandemic, the National Pork Producers Council announced it had “a number of concerns” about the Food Safety and Enhancement Act of 2009, which passed a vote in the House Energy and Commerce Committee’s Subcommittee on Health last week.

The trade association says it’s unnecessary to give the FDA authority to inspect farms, enforce animal quarantines and build a “farm-to-fork” system to trace public health threats back to the source. From the Pork Council’s POV, the Department of Agriculture already plays an oversight role, and it would be one big hassle for farmers to have to comply with a new set of federal rules.

In the wake of numerous food-related illness outbreaks – spinache, tomatoes, avocados, mad cow beef, etc – some may point out that the Department of Agriculture’s efforts have been far from robust. 

Beyond the food-borne illnesses, however, there is a swine flu angle here: The Pork Council also objects to letting the FDA set farm safety standards on such things as employee hygiene and what to do with all that manure – the very issues gadflies suggest may have played a role in incubating swine flu and passing it along to humans.

Those are suggestions that the pork council would like to slaughter. Ever since the pandemic made international news, the industry has been working overtime to convince consumers that their pigs have nothing to do with it. And, even some public health pundits have exonerated the massive Mexican pig farms and say CAFOs aren’t necessarily unsanitary.

But not all the experts are sure CAFOs are so healthy. Last year, the Pew Charitable Trusts published a report that concluded the industrial-scale farms often pose “unacceptable risks to public health, the environment and the welfare of the animals themselves."