As anybody with eyes and ears knows by now, Sarah Palin isn’t so great at articulating what it means to be Russia’s neighbor. But if having an veep candidate who knows Russia-Alaska relations is important—and after all, “as Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where—where do they go? It’s Alaska.”—there’s an easy replacement. Lynne Cox.

I first learned about Cox back in 2002, when I was reporting a story about a distance swimmer in San Francisco. In that particular world, Cox is Derek Jeter, the Williams sisters, Tiger Woods, and the ‘85 Bears rolled all into one: She swam the English Channel in 1972, at 15, then took on increasingly ambitious (and bone-chilling) swims, efforts culminating in a 1987 trip across the Bering Strait. For that, she swam the two and a half miles between Little Diomede Island (U.S.) and Big Diomede Island (Russia). The next year, Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev referenced Cox’s effort as an example of how two countries can come together. A uniter, you see, not a divider.

Cox was a fun interview—performing these sort of feats makes you admirably zen, it seems—and she’s a hell of a writer, too. A few years back she published a beautifully written memoir, Swimming to Antarctica, describing her feats in vivid, disarming detail. (Don’t agree to a competition in the Nile River. Dog carcasses.) I know nothing of her politics. But somebody so strong, so articulate, so capable of using Alaska to inspire peace agreements could be nothing but a boon for the Republican ticket. Just a suggestion.

* In case you missed her: Washington Post’s Howard Kurtz on Palin’s Katie Couric interview. “Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin, in her third interview since joining the Republican presidential ticket, licked her finger and stuck it in the air, saying that Sen. Barack Obama might wait and “see what way the political wind’s blowing” on the Wall Street rescue package,” he writes.

* For those interested in competing in one of those high-stakes, emotionally wrenching reality television programs—and for those whose place of employment merely imitate them—Slate’s Joanna Weiss has your guide to how not to be the first contestant kicked off a reality show.

* New Columbia Heights has updates on the proposed neighborhood farmer’s market: At a recent ANC meeting, William Jordan proposed that the market be run by EMG Marketing Group and Change Inc. and be held three (!) times a week.

* Mr. T in D.C. bows respectfully to the employees of the Columbia Heights Subway sandwich shop:

I just wanted to thank them here today. By now, all the employees there recognize me, and know what kind of sandwich I usually get. . . . The two women who work there on weekday evenings are particularly helpful and pleasant. They recently told me they were from Eritrea; I wonder what their lives were like there? It’s not very far from lawless, violent places like Darfur and Somalia.

And in this newspaper:

* Arthur Delaney on D.C. Jail disaster readiness, terrorist threats, and the power of Google.

* Tim Carman tries to make a bagel, lies to City Paper staff.

* Mike DeBonis on the Nat’s stadium slush fund.

* … and the debut of Orr Shtuhl’s Beerspotter!

Image courtesy pingnews.

According to the Mat-Su Valley Frontiersman, Sarah Palin, during her tenure as mayor of Wasilla, approved a policy to deny free forensic examinations for sexual assault victims. Former Alaska Gov. Tony Knowles disagreed with the policy, which was unique to Wasilla, and went on to sign a bill that “[made] it illegal for any law enforcement agency to bill victims or victims’ insurance companies for the costs of examinations that take place to collect evidence of a sexual assault or determine if a sexual assault did occur.”

If true (some conservative bloggers claim that the Frontiersman is a Palin-smearing sham, which I doubt, as the paper’s digital archives go back quite a ways), Palin will have a hard time explaining her decision, even to her growing legion of fans. While she might have been uninvolved with the creation of the policy, she promoted Charlie Fannon to chief of police, and then (assuming she had at least some reservations with his decision) neglected to exercise her oversight authority when Fannon decided to charge for rape kits. The average citizen would likely agree that law enforcement agencies should spare no expense in investigating sexual assault cases, including finding out, via rape kit, whether or not a sexual assault actually happened. Demanding that a person pay for her own kit–which can cost anywhere from $400 to over $1,000–significantly reduces the odds that she’ll get tested, which in turn reduces the odds that police will find the culprit and that prosecutors will be able to make the charges stick.

But the worst part about the decision to charge alleged victims is that it wouldn’t have saved the city that much money:

According to [Wasilla Police Chief Charlie] Fannon, the new law will cost the Wasilla Police Department approximately $5,000 to $14,000 a year to collect evidence for sexual assault cases.

Cutting taxpayers’ burdens and reducing the size and scope of government is–in most cases–a good idea. But forcing sexual assault victims to directly pay for some types of law enforcement services, and not others (unless Wasilla also directly charges residents to investigate burglaries, or violent crimes) is abusive and, in this case, clearly misogynistic. Furthermore, where the hell on earth is a multi-million dollar hockey rink a more important expenditure than protecting citizens?

Last week, I reported on Obama’s radiant,  mesmerizing, slightly spittled High Definition look as he accepted the Democratic nomination for president. In the post, I reasoned that if even the 47-year-old NILF came off as less-than-perfect in HD, the 72-year-old McCain had an even tougher beauty contest in front of him. (Earlier, Slate’s Timothy Noah went so far as to suggest that McCain’s championing of HD technology, as radium to Curie, might be the cause that would do him in).

How wrong I was.

Note to John McCain’s beautician: Strike fast with the promotional tie-ins. How quickly can you pump out the McCain/Palin age-reversing foundation / ass-kicking lipstick box set?

This week: FF’s triumphant and merciless return!

Watch in awe as Erik gives the cold shoulder to the Dupont Current, the InTowner, and the Examiner. The Washington Hispanic is en fuego, naturally, while Erik himself is back on the attack…sporting a dashing new haircut.

Don’t touch that remote!

[FF Bonus: Scroll down after watching to discover what the Examiner's cover really says!]

Trouble viewing? Try the YouTube version.

[...and the Examiner says... "Palin's Slapshot." Zing!]

Is it just me or could the governor from Alaska be straight out of Buffalo? I was dropping off last night and imagining that among her talk of impending victory in Iraq (Eye-Raaayk), Sarah Palin was talking about going to the Tops or maybe to the Wegmans to pick up some pop and a jar of that Weber’s hot mustard and then stopping over to get some rolls at the Schwebel’s to go with the fine Redlinski polish sausage (grandma’s recipe) in the freezer. But then, geez, she’d have to get on the Scajaquada Espressway and it’s always backed up this time’a day. Guess I’m not the only one who noticed: