I'm not one for fellating fellow journalists, but I'd make a knee-bruising exception for Slate's Ron Rosenbaum, the first big-name journalist (who's not a card-carrying libertarian) to stick up for President-elect Barack Obama's nicotine addiction.

And not only does Rosenbaum defend our Dear Leader's decision to do whatever the fuck he wants with his discretionary income/lungs, he also accurately captures the sympathies of fun-havers everywhere:

All us sinners—of various habits and forms—loved Obama for it and loathed Brokaw, Walters, and the nation of scolds we have become in their collective attempt to shame the poor guy (yes, president-elect, I know, but here, just a poor, conniving backslider) into some self-scourging confession.

You have to admire Obama's good nature as he puts up with these narrow-minded nannies (addicted to tobacco in their own perverse, negative way) and offers up this masterpiece of obfuscation.

Kudos, Mr. Rosenbaum, and way to stick a finger in the eye of obnoxious social engineers. I wrote about smoking just a few days ago when I thought I might quit due to a cold (I didn't), and a few weeks ago on "Stop Smoking Day" (or whatever it's officially called).

Photo courtesy of flicker user Roomic Cube

Rosenbaum's thesis, such as it is, is that people who do such puzzles are somehow doing harm to their own intelligence. To argue this point, he opens with the deadliest lede in creation, then frosts this dry cupcake with punny sprinkles for us to gag on:

Doing puzzles reflects not an elevated literary sensibility but a degraded letter-ary sensibility

What are some of the other defenses of the puzzle people? "It trains the mind.".... I'd say that instead it drains the mind.

Rosenbaum's Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer shtick would be funny if he revealed any effort to actually understand what he's discussing. He picks up a copy of Will Shortz' Funniest Crossword Puzzles, then expresses bafflement because he read the first five clues and didn't crap himself with laughter. [Nerd hat on]To the extent crosswords are funny, the humor is in the answers to the themed clues.[Nerd hat off] Later, Rosenbaum congratulates himself on his intellectual superiority after watching a fellow working a crossword that has the clue "Mauna ___." "Whew, though one, dude," bleats Rosenbaum. [Nerd hat on]The answer could be either LOA or KEA, and it's perfectly sensible to delay filling out the answer there.[Nerd hat off]

The running theme in Rosenbaum's piece is that people who do puzzles could better spend their time reading. "Need I suggest that those who spend time doing crossword puzzles (or sudoku)...could be doing something else that involves words and letters? It's called reading," he writes. (Here's a fun puzzle: Imagine you're Ron Rosenbaum and try to write about something without egregiously overusing italics. If you can do it, you win!) Is it too much to ask that reporters writing a piece spend a little time doing more research before embarrassing themselves in public? Rosenbaum, surely tugging on his suspenders as he guffaws, notes that the Times crossword offers a toll number for people to call to "buy a clue." This is the Comstock Lode of pun-rich hilarity to him. "But couldn't it be said that even people who don't have to buy a clue, but spend their time pursuing clues to the meaningless puzzles, are clueless?"

Oh, Ron. Just drop me a line. I'll clue you in for free.